Vicki J. Thinks Colin G. is Wrong About Q Ross and "The Common Man"

Lquinton Ross: Point/Counterpoint- A Female Perspective   by Vicki Jacobs

I have to admit; I almost never drive around killing brain cells listening to sports radio. I don’t have the slightest idea who “The Common Man” is. Is he really just a common man or does he merely represent the common man? 

I do however enjoy killing brain cells reading my friend Colin’s blog Pencil Storm. Sometimes. Depends who’s writing the posts. When I read this from Colin’s Laquinton Ross post: “…I was at the game with my ten year old son and I applauded when Q was escorted from the court…” I may have sniffed and blinked back a few tears. 

As a mother, I applauded when I read that line. Then, I kept reading. Wait just a hot minute, yo. Colin was applauding when Q was escorted from the court because he thought Q (gulp) did a good thing?? The hell?

I wasn’t at the game, but I did watch the footage. The way Colin saw it, “Q was standing up for a teammate.” Um, because Amir Williams needs standing up for? I don’t think so. Colin goes on to say that “Q didn’t throw a punch and didn’t jeopardize the outcome of the game.” What if he had done those things…thrown a punch or jeopardized the outcome of the game? Is that where we draw the line at sportsmanship? Or isn’t that part of the game anymore? What about being accountable for our actions?

In my opinion, the “good hard push” was selfish. Amir Williams was handling himself under the boards just fine thankyouverymuch and the refs were working to get things under control. Then Q walked over and “gave a good hard push”. Why? Because he was standing up for his poor, bullied teammate? Hell no. Because he lost his temper. Came unraveled. Lost his cool. Came undone. Went a little bat shit crazy.

Nobody in his or her right mind should applaud that shit. Why?

Because… Steubenville. Q is a 21-year-old college basketball player. He’s a kid, I get it. (Technically not a kid, but whatever) He made a mistake. I get that too. But applauding him after pushing another player and getting ejected from a game? No way. 

We need to teach our ten-year-old boys that it isn’t OK to loose your shit and push someone. Stand up for your friends in challenging situations… YES. Out of control, flagrant behavior… NOPE. Never, ever OK. Not during a basketball game, not while driving, not at a party. Not ever. Athletes aren’t any different than the rest of us and if they are treated like they are, awful things can happen. They aren’t above reproach. They aren’t above the rules or the law. They are accountable for their actions. Period.

I want my ten-year-old boy to know this NOW and six years from now so he never rapes a girl who is passed out and films it with his friends while laughing. I want him to learn to keep his wits about him in times of stress and to remain in control when there is a damn good possibility that others around him might be completely out of control.

As a mother, I want to send a clear message that this sort of behavior isn’t going to be tolerated. And it starts by NOT applauding athletes who are out of control.

Disclaimer: I love Colin Gawel. He is super cool and one of the greatest dads I know. Our parenting styles are very similar and we usually agree on most everything. Except his applauding Q while he was being ejected from the game. He got that shit wrong. Maybe a female perspective will help shed some light.

Vicki Jacobs is an avid reader of well written blogs. She misses writing on her own blog so she thought she’d offer a female perspective here on Pencil Storm because a lot of chicks read it. Vicki has a ten-year-old son and loves to hang out on the playground after school and talk politics, education and sometimes sports with Colin Gawel. (Even if he is wrong on occasion.)

Bode Miller: Point/Counterpoint by Ricki C.

Wow, this is an odd coincidence – or maybe not so odd considering that the Olympic Games are in full swing, the other TV channels won’t counter-program against them and are thereby in full rerun mode and until today it was too shitty in this long, cold, hard winter to do anything but veg-out in front of the TV – but I was preparing my own piece on the Olympics when I read Wal Ozello’s apology to Bode Miller.

I’ve never met Wal, but considering the blogs I’ve read by him on Pencilstorm, I bet we’d get along famously.  That being said, I couldn’t disagree with him more about Bode Miller.  (I don’t think we’ve ever had a Point/Counterpoint segment thus far on Pencilstorm, have we?)

Here’s my deal on the Olympic Games: my lovely wife Debbie – who, believe me, could CARE LESS about sports on any level at any time – every two years becomes an absolute slave to the lure of the Olympics.  NBC realizes this, of course, as pointed out in Ozello’s piece.  Non-sports fans like Debbie DO want to get the human interest slant on the athletes as opposed to just the sports accomplishments of said performers.

And let’s face facts, Olympic athletes ARE performers nowadays: just like rock stars, TV & movie stars, politicians, reality-show participants, idiots who actually demean themselves to go on American Idol, Dennis Rodman, Kim Jong Un, and the latest poor schmuck who winds up being interviewed on the Weather Channel when he’s involved in a massive car, truck & bus pileup during this particularly cruel, snow-blasted winter.  

Unfortunately, in this People magazine/Entertainment Tonight/TMZ celebrity-obsessed culture in which we live, the problem is that we have to keep creating celebrities to fill up all the 300 channels our televisions now accommodate.  (And – Drunk Uncle Alert – don’t even get me started on DVR’s, Netflix, iTunes, binge viewing and kids watching everything on their Smartphones.  Debbie and I still own – and utilize – a roughly 20-year old VCR.)  Thirty years ago, when – for example – Johnny Carson had the only late-night talk show, you actually had to BE a celebrity to get booked.  Now, with Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Arsenio Hall, Craig Ferguson and my particular favorite, David Letterman, (not to mention Oprah, Ellen, Piers Morgan, E-network, The ladies of The View, et. al.) needing to Feed The Machine, just about ANYBODY is accorded Celebrity Status just to fill up space and talk show couches. 

(Ricki, focus: Bode Miller, we’re talkin’ about Bode Miller.  I know, I know, I know, I’m GETTING there.)

Okay, here’s my problem with Bode Miller specifically – and, by extension almost all Olympic athletes, or by a Larger Extension, any celebrity.  In the little Fawning Celebrity Tribute NBC put together for Mr. Miller’s Sunday night’s Snow Theatrics we were told, among other things, that Bode has two children – two and five years old (by two different mothers, incidentally, which they kinda glossed over, if ya get my drift) – and a younger brother who died from a seizure episode after a helmet-less motorcycle crash years earlier.

NBC delivers this heart-warming montage of info over a shot of Miller’s wife – whom, by the way, he married after knowing her for all of five months – Mrs. Bode Miller.  (I admit, I didn’t catch her name.)  The NBC voiceover identifies the lovely, blonde, former beach volleyball player Mrs. Miller as, of course, “the love of Bode’s life.”  (I found myself wondering aloud to Debbie how the mothers of Miller’s two children felt about that designation when I bet both of them once thought of themselves as “the loves of Bode’s life.”  But that’s the kind of asshole I am, so you can take that with a grain of salt.)  (Also, I find myself wondering whether beach blanket blondie will still be Mrs. Bode Miller two years from now.  Or even a year from now.  But again, that’s just the kind of asshole I am.)

Here’s my point, and then I’ll get out of your hair and off your computer-screen: I grew up on the West Side of Columbus, Ohio.  If we were dealing with a 36 year-old man with two illegitimate kids under six from two different baby mamas and a younger brother who wrecked his dirt bike and later died, we’d have just called ‘em Lowlife White Trash, not Hallowed Sports Hero, anointed as such to feed the Celebrity Threshing Machine.

And Wal, I gotta say, I don’t think for one single, solitary moment that Bode Miller was crying over the memory of his brother.  I think he was crying on accounta ‘cuz he was bringing home a Bronze medal from Sochi instead of a Gold, and he was picturing his projected Bigtime Endorsement Money from Nike, Gatorade, Cadillac and Cialis slip-slidin’ away.  (But that’s the kind of asshole I am.) – Ricki C. / February 19th, 2014.

(coming up – possibly – in a future segment of my Olympic diatribe/coverage: Why those girls in Pussy Riot are more bad-ass than Van Halen ever THOUGHT about being,  why Americans only seem to care about GOLD medals, and Olympic commercials that are making me wanna pull an Elvis on my TV.)

Learn more about Ricki C and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here.

Valentine's Day is Like Passing the Football. Three Things Can Happen and Two are Bad by Wal Ozello

Maybe it’s just me, but I think Valentine’s Day sucks for just about everybody. It doesn’t promote love. It promotes disappointment.

Ohio State Football Coach Woody Hayes used to say, “There are three things that can happen when you pass, two of them are bad.” Valentine’s Day is a lot like passing the football. You hope that the receiver is going to catch your well placed perfect pass and you’re going to end up scoring. Chances are you’re going to fumble during the snap.

There’s too much pressure on this holiday - for everyone.

Let’s say you’re single. Your week starts and ends in disappointment. You’ll have to field questions of “What are you doing on Valentine’s Day?”, listen to others talk about what they’re doing on Valentine’s Day, watch your friends get flowers and then actually experience the day/evening alone – thinking everybody else is happier than you. Well I got news for you, us “in a relationship” people are just as miserable.

The “Let’s Make This Night Special” couples are totally screwed. Totally. The guy goes crazy trying to secure reservations to the most expensive restaurant in town, trying to coordinate flower delivery, buy chocolates/jewelry/presents, and then check his plan with his buddies to make sure he’s got all bases covered. The girl goes through at least twelve different clothing outfits to make sure she’s going to look her best, including the bra and panties just in case something happens.  I knew a girl that had 18 different bras to make her boobs look 18 different ways. That’s an immense amount of pressure. There are so many variables to this evening that chances are expectations won’t be met and the evening will end in disaster.

Which brings us to the next group, “Let’s Do Nothing.” This group are big fat liars. Because the week starts off with truces and pacts that they won’t buy anything for the other person but one (or both) will be breaking their agreement. We hear what all our friends and coworkers are doing, the guilt sets in, and we think we need to do something as well to express our love to each other. “Let’s Do Nothing” slowly turns into, “Well, let’s at least go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant,” or “Don’t get me anything but flowers would be nice,” or “I know we promised no gifts but I got you this card.”  Before you know it one person is set back $150 and disappointed that they didn’t get anything in return. Worse yet the other person feels guilty a day or two later because they didn’t do anything. BOOM. V-Day creates angst, guilt, and pain instead of love.

But there’s one other final group – those that are so blissfully in love that “we don’t need Valentine’s Day” to show their love. Seriously, these people exist. A couple friend of mine posted on facebook that they sincerely don’t need a special holiday to express their love – they do it every day. Now I know some of you just threw up in your mouth a little bit when you read that, but I think about this for a moment.

Wouldn’t that be awesome? To have a warm loving feeling all year long instead of one night of perfect explosive passion that may never come to fruition?

Maybe love should be more like a solid Rushing Game – trying to get just a few yards every play to get to the next first down. Then after a series of great first downs you get a touchdown (or at least a field goal). For you single folks, that’s a smile to someone at the bar or a friendly conversation with someone while you’re in the line at the grocery store. All those things can build up and lead to something else. For us “in a relationship” that’s a peck on the cheek, holding hands, or a simple “I love you.” No pressure. Just a little romance.

So let’s cancel Valentine’s Day next year. Or at least turn it into a “wine” version of St. Patrick’s Day. Who’s with me?

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee. He hopes his wife didn't read this blog entry.

America, Demons, and Russia - Week in Review by Wal Ozello

A bunch of “Life” stuff happened this week, and seeing that I do a lot of the “Life” blogging here at Pencil Storm, I felt it was my duty to chime in.

America The Beautiful Coke Commercial – Coke created controversy this week when they aired a commercial having America The Beautiful sung in different languages. I thought this was phenomenal advertising. Genius move on Coke’s part to get people talking about them again and have them be relevant to the emerging markets here in the U.S. For those that are upset because the whole song wasn’t in English, I’d like to remind you that we’re all immigrants. In fact, we’d all be speaking French if we didn’t win the French and Indian War back in 1763. Click here to watch the spot.

Unplugged At The Super Bowl – The Red Hot Chili Peppers performed at the Super Bowl, pretending to play their instruments while a soundtrack played over the loudspeakers. Afterwards, when they were caught, they clearly admitted it. They did exactly what they planned: get national attention. For more on the Super Bowl Halftime performance checkout Ricki C's blog.

Philip Seymour Hoffman – I was floored at the outpouring of sympathy on my facebook feed for this actor who died via a heroin overdose. I see his death as selfish. The guy left behind three kids. With the bank this guy makes, can’t he find someone to help him face his demons? He has a responsibility to others. But no, since he’s won an Oscar and moved millions of people with his art, we’ll just sweep that under the carpet.

Biggest Loser Winner – Now here’s someone we can crucify for battling their demons, right?  The winner of the Biggest Loser was crowned this week. She stepped up on the scale, rail thin, weighing 105 pounds at about 5’ 4”. She was blasted all over the Internet for being too thin, citing medical averages that she was underweight. Poor thing – she was slammed when she was fat and now she’s slammed for being thin. As if losing the weight magically erased her demons. My guess is the same demons that created her addicted to weight gain are getting her addicted to weight loss. Has she gone too far? I don't know. I'm not her.

Russian Olympics – The week ended with the Opening Ceremonies of the Winter Olympics in Russia. So much controversy around this: gay violence, killing stray dogs, pictures of Putin in hotel rooms. Here’s who I feel sorry for the most: the guy that was in charge of the fifth Olympic ring that didn’t expand during the opening ceremony. (Click here to see what I’m talking about). I’m hoping he’s somewhere trying to escape from Sochi right now, instead of on a one way trip to a prison camp in Siberia.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Movies I'd Watch In Hell Forever By Wal Ozello

It’s Oscar season when they select the best movies, actors, etc. of the year. But when’s the last time you’ve seen an Oscar movie over and over again? Here’s the metric that I think all movies should be judged by: If you die and go to hell, and are stuck watching the same movie over and over again, what would it be?

That’s how I define a great movie and NONE of this year’s Oscar films fit into that category.

So here it is… I present to you my list of Top Ten Movies I’d Watch In Hell

1) Goodfellas. My college roommates and I had this movie going constantly at our apartment, so hell would be an extension of college for me. The way this story is told is amazing and the visuals are stunning. The Copa scene alone is to die for. I can’t wait for my sons to grow up so I can share this movie with them. Is 14 old enough for them to watch the “you’re so funny” scene?

2) The Godfather. This movie is a work of art. I call it the Sistine Chapel of movies. Coppola was able to turn a basic mob movie into magic. I think of this movie every time I renew my baptismal vows.

3) The Godfather II. I know what you’re thinking now. I just like mob movies. No. This movie is a work of art in its own right. How Coppola juxtaposes Vito’s life with Michael’s is a cinematic editing masterpiece. Every editor and screenplay writer who watches this movie wants to kill themselves because they’ll never be that good. Ever.

4) Shawshank Redemption. I must have seen this movie a million times thanks to TNT and if it was on TV right now I’d watch whatever scene it was. Any movie where some guy can crawl through five miles of shit and make me feel good about it deserves to be in my top ten. You want to feel like there’s hope? Turn on TNT and watch this movie. Perfect movie for living in hell for eternity.

5) The Sixth Sense. Seriously, did ANYONE see the ending coming? I totally pissed myself when that ring hit the floor. This story was beautiful. Get the DVD and watch the deleted scenes. The original ending of the movie makes it even more magical.

6) Rear Window. I first saw this film in a college class. The room was 10 feet by 20 feet and the screen was as wide as one of the walls. It was like I was looking right out of Jimmy Stewart’s window. By the end of the film I had develop three things: claustrophobia, a smoking habit, and a crush on Grace Kelly. If you want to experience this movie the way Hitchcock intended, place your nose inches from your TV screen and don’t move your head from side to side.

7) The Wall. It’s not a music video or a rock concert. It’s a transcendent orgy of music, film, and animation. Every shot of this film is a moving painting of deep rich colors that along with music takes you on the journey of stardom. It’s kind of like the rock star version of Goodfellas, pulling you into the excitement of being a musical king then flipping you to the dark side.

8) Swingers. This movie is so money and it doesn’t even know it. It was shot as an independent film on a shoestring budget. Every character is amazing and each actor nails the part. This is the original bromance movie that all other try to emulate. While I’d watch this forever, the answering machine will always make me feel anxious. I feel for you Mikey.

9) Elf. The beauty of this film is the humor never gets old. I can watch it on December 24th or July 4th and it’s still funny. It’s Will Ferrell’s masterpiece because he’s playing the most human character amongst all of his movies. Next to Shawshank and Goodfellas, it’s the most quoted movie on facebook. (I just made that up, but it sounds true doesn’t it?)

10) Leaving Las Vegas. This is the most depressing and darkest movie that’s ever been made. Period. After you watch it, you want to slit your wrists and bleed all over the living room. But here’s the thing, 5 minutes later the movie actually makes you feel better about yourself. Because no matter how miserable and pathetic your life is, at least you’re not a washed up script writer that’s drinking yourself to death or a prostitute who can only find love in a suicidal drunkard. Hell is like a Sandles Beach vacation compared to this movie. So smile and change the channel to TNT. Shawshank’s on you’ll discover there is some hope in this world.

Now it's your turn. Comment below and let me know what films you'd watch in hell.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and graduate of the Ohio State University Photography & Cinema Department.

Let’s Stop Shooting Each Other by Wal Ozello

I get gun ownership. I've got lots of friends who hunt that like to go out and shoot deer and other animals in the woods. I don’t want to stop people from doing that.

I kind of get owning guns as a hobby and going to a shooting range to shoot targets and things. I don’t totally understand it, but I’m sure those people don’t totally get why I wake up at 6am every morning and go to Colin’s Coffee to write my novels.  So while you wouldn’t catch me at the local shooting range, I support others having the right to shoot at target ranges.

Here’s what I don’t get. Why the hell can’t we all agree with keeping guns away from people who want to shoot people?

Seriously, if I had the potential to beat someone over the head with my laptop and aimless murder the guy that just ordered the cappuccino latte, then by all means someone stop me from owning a laptop! 

It’s getting to the point that I don’t want to go anywhere at the risk of getting shot. I’m scared shitless that some wacko is going to shoot the shit out my kids’ school, too.  And for heaven’s sake, I don’t want any of you walking around with a gun, fantasying that you’re some vigilante who’s going to stop the next James Holmes that pops out of a doorway.

I want to live peacefully. And I’d like my family and friends to do the same. At some point, my rights to live have to supersede the Second Amendment. At some point, my pursuit of happiness has to out rank the right to own a gun.

Folks, this is getting out of control. It seems like every day I go onto Yahoo! and read about the latest shooting someone. Remember when Columbine was a shocking tragedy? Three dead in a Maryland mall doesn’t seem like big news anymore – and that’s a problem!

So let’s try this – you put away your NRA card and I’ll shelf my ACLU card. Let’s meet at a table to talk and start with what this country was really founded on – the chance for a better life. Maybe then we can have a rational discussion on how we keep people from shooting each other.

In the meantime, please say a prayer for the families that lost some one in Maryland last weekend, when all they did was go shopping.

{C}{C}{C}{C}Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.