Forget Facebook Posts, You Should Write for Pencilstorm - Colin Gawel

Are your Facebook posts always the best of the thread but soon disappear down the bottomless hole of the news feed? Well, we are always looking for new contributors at Pencilstorm. It's a great way to exercise your writing skills and reach a wider audience while doing it on your own schedule. If any of the areas below are of interest to you (or a friend) please inquire at pencilstormstory@gmail.com . If there is an idea not on the list we are open to any suggestions. At Pencilstorm, there are no deadlines, though we would prefer one story every couple of months if possible. Or if you get on a roll we can do a monthly feature. No pressure. Totally cool, totally cool.  Just make it good. Have fun. And, we are non-exclusive, so you can post anywhere & everywhere outside of Pencilstorm.  Hope to hear from you, Colin G. 

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These are just some suggestions. Please pitch any idea you might have to pencilstormstory@gmail.com 

My Thoughts on the Upper Arlington Recall - by Colin Gawel

Author's note: This is just my two cents. I have friends on both sides of this issue. Please vote however you see fit. It's all cool with me. Have a nice day. - Colin

The question I have, my personal one million dollar question concerning the UA recall on August 23rd is the following: Why can't we just settle this brouhaha during our regular election in 2017? Isn't that the whole reason we have elections in the first place?

Best as I understand things, UA voters will be going to the polls this Tuesday for a special election to recall four sitting council members. If the recall succeeds, the current council members will then appoint four new members who will then have to run for election again next year during the regular election. Say what? Additionally, this is the first time in the one hundred year history of Upper Arlington that a recall such as this has been demanded. Why is this time so special? Why NOW? 

It's been well documented that the recall is costing the taxpayers a cool $65,000 and I am sort of wondering what I get for my money If i support it. Say it succeeds and the four council members are sacked: What improvements should I look forward to in the next 12 months before the "real" election? 

But I digress, back to my main question: "Why can't this wait?" Overturning elections is a slippery slope. If it succeeds, one must wonder if the "Recall the Recall" folks will be hitting the streets August 24th.

Forget the $65,000, what is true cost of this recall to the community?

I have seen things written by adults on Facebook pages that if I caught my son Owen writing the same about a student council election at Hastings, he would be grounded until he left for college and/or truck driving school. I know throwing Trump-style firebombs is the style of this current election cycle but these people aren't faceless bureaucrats buried away deep in the bowels of some government building in the suburbs of DC. No, the UA City Council members are your neighbors and part of the Upper Arlington community. They have friends that are your friends. You will see them at the store and at church. Your kids might know their kids. This recall vaguely implies they had criminal intent while serving the city. That's pretty rough stuff for a tough job that pays nothing, or next to nothing. Don't get me wrong, citizens are well served to engage in local politics, but when the tone turns nasty, long lasting damage can hinder compromise for years to come.

I've also seen people demonize city manager Ted Staton and I just don't get it. He has done a couple of Q & A sessions at Colin's Coffee and I came away impressed with both his demeanor and knowledge of the issues. I'm not asking you to be his biggest fan, but this idea that he is "ruining UA" rings hollow to me. We still had the parade. And the fireworks. And the kids all got laptops. And property values are at their highest point in decades. My little shop is doing OK.  The sky isn't falling. Not in UA anyway. It's OK to disagree, but why all the hate? Why so much negativity? I just don't feel it. 

At one point, it got so absurd that people were implying that the reason the UA City Council doesn't tape their meetings is because they want to keep their decisions secret from the community. Hmm... I guess that could be true though I think there is a better chance they don't tape every single meeting because NOT MUCH REALLY HAPPENS AT AN UPPER ARLINGTON CITY COUNCIL MEETING.

To clarify:

1) All the meetings are open to the public. So if you care, just attend. Easy-peasy.

2) If you can't attend, have a friend tape the meeting and post online so all the info is public. Just like a Grateful Dead bootleg. (And just as boring)

I challenge anybody to tape four city council meetings, listen to them all and then decide taping a fifth meeting is a good use of time. FREE Colin's Coffee drink of choice for winner.

But I digress...

To be fair, I've seen poison words from both sides and I don't like what I see. $65,000 is nothing to sneeze at, but you can't put a price on the ill will and negativity the recall has stirred up. Which brings me back to my original question,"Couldn't all this could have been avoided if we just waited for the regular election?" 

"Oh, that Colin sure can dish it out, but he can't take it."

Remember this summer when we were all driving the streets aimlessly, dropping F-bombs in front of our kids because we were late (again) trying to get across the construction on Tremont Road? I sure do. It seemed like every day I picked the wrong route and got stuck. I don't know what that whole project cost but it didn't look cheap. And as a UA citizen, I got very little out of it. To be honest,  I would have preferred the money to be spent on a rec center for the kids, fixing the pool or hanging some nets at Northam Park. (click here for that story)

But just because a city project doesn't meet my particular needs do I assume that city council is some branch of a shadow government imposing the tyranny of bike lanes on unsuspecting UA citizens like myself. I suspect I just disagree with the current leaders about the policies that are best for our community at this moment. That's called democracy, folks. That is why we have elections. And elections matter. And if you want to change things, you rally the troops and win the next one.

And to the recall supporters I propose that instead if simply trying to throw members out of office, why don't you run for office and show us how easy it is to please the voters in Upper Arlington. I'm sure it will be a breeze. 

I am voting "NO" on the recall.   

Colin Gawel owns Colin's Coffee in Upper Arlington and plays in the band Watershed. He isn't an expert on anything though he knows a lot about the band Cheap Trick.

Northam Park Masterplan Phase One: Hang Nets on Hoops

After a heated and sometimes contentious city council meeting Tuesday evening, Upper Arlington leaders decided to begin Phase One of the controversial "Masterplan" to renovate Northam Park: by a 4-3 vote, members hoped to hang nets on the hoops by the end of the fiscal year 2017. The five hoops will require 5 new nets, a ladder, and labor to install. Council members insist the project can be brought in under $75 but local conservative bloggers are convinced the project could exceed $100 in tax payer money, including benefits for the city worker who hangs the nets. 

Zeb Coulter - Upper Arlington resident and administrator on the Facebook Page "Let's Hang Together Before We Hang Those Nets"

"Just another example of big government wasting tax-payer money. The private sector could hang these nets for 1/3 the cost. That's assuming we even need them. My grandaddy didn't need no fancy nets, so I don't know why these kids need them now. He used to shoot a rotten tomato through a hollowed-out gunny bucket on a court of broken glass and rusty nails. And that was BEFORE the 3-point shot, mind you. The kids today are spoiled and soft," posted spokesman Zeb Coulter on his Facebook page, "Let's Hang Together Before We Hang Those Nets." 

Local coffee shop owner and UA parent Colin Gawel disagreed: "The way I see it, we have already built the courts and installed the baskets. It seems logical to finish the job by hanging the nets. This way kids who go to the library could walk over and play basketball too. Especially since the pool cracked in half and was closed last year. You know what, if money is the issue I'd be happy to buy the nets if a city employee would hang them. You fly, I'll buy. It's the American way."

"Sounds like socialism to me," countered Coulter. "I demand that the entire UA City Council be recalled and thrown out of office. At the very least, I would like to review a full recording of the meeting." 

When informed that UA Council meetings aren't taped due to lack of anything interesting ever happening, Coulter was incensed. "There you go, what are they afraid of? What special interest is behind this so-called Masterplan?"

"Maybe it's just me, but I think Northam Park is better without kids. Or dogs." - Dublin resident Sally Suth.

Rumors have been surfacing that the powerful Northam Park tennis lobby had been holding up Phase One for years, concerned that kids actually playing in the park would be noisy and a distraction to their matches. They feel that hanging nets would negate all the progress they made ridding the park of the pool in 2015. "It was so quiet last summer with no splashing or bouncing balls that I could finally concentrate on my serve," said Dublin resident Sally Suth, who travels to UA every other Thursday to play doubles tennis and have a late lunch at La Chatelaine.

In an article printed last November, the UA Council promised to move slower on renovations in Northam Park. (Click here to read the story)  Gawel found the headline curious. "I thought, what's slower than doing nothing?" Previous headlines show Gawel has a point: "Tremont Pool Needs Repairs" (5/17/13); "Tremont Pool Really Needs Repairs" (5/13/14); "Tremont Pool Broken and Closed Forever" (5/23/15).

Either way, plans remain in place to finally hang nets on the basketball hoops at Northam Park in the next 18 months. Councilman Stan Brody added, "They have nets at Target for $13.45 but we aren't exactly sure how to string them through the hoop. We have hired a consulting firm with the help of King Thompson to examine the project and help with their expertise in net hanging." City records show that the consulting fee will be $78,321.

Jeff Hassler covers local politics for Pencilstorm.com

Uploaded by Colin Gawel on 2016-06-06.

Back To School: Then vs. Now - by Andra Gillum

The first day of school is August 17th.  Seriously?  I double-checked to make sure there was no mistake.  What happened to the good old days when we started after Labor Day?  Who decided that mid-August was the new September?

I’ve gotten several explanations.  Someone suggested they want the school districts to follow the college schedule.  That makes no sense.  Who wants to be in Florida on Spring Break when the college students are there?  I have no desire to compete in a belly flop competition, or set sail on a fraternity booze cruise.

Our Superintendent said they took a survey, and the majority wanted an early start.  I know the kids and teachers don’t want this, so it must be the seniors.  They want the pool to themselves.  Can’t blame them.  They just want to do a little water aerobics in peace.…without the whistles blowing.  Plus, seniors are the only ones who took time to complete the survey.  The rest of us don’t bother to participate.  We prefer to complain about the results.

The most likely reason I’ve heard blames the early start on the standardized testing in the spring.  Schools need to pack in as much curriculum as they can before the testing period.  Common Core strikes again.

I’m glad school didn’t start this early when I was a kid.  I would have been awfully hot wearing the new Firenza sweater and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans that my mom bought me when we went school shopping.  My Member’s Only jacket would have been a little better, but still warm.  

My kids wear shorts for the first six weeks of school.  Actually, my son wears shorts for the entire year.  He’s a 7th grader now, and I gave up that battle years ago.

So many things about back to school have changed.  Now we buy school supplies through the PTO, and they’re delivered right to class.  That’s actually helpful.  No more running around searching for the box of crayons with the built in sharpener, the wide-ruled spiral notebook, or the newest Trapper Keeper.

What about textbooks?  We used to haul around an armful of them, all carefully covered with a brown grocery bag.  I could never figure out how to cut the bag right, but we managed.   Then, we added our best graffiti.  My older sister always had the Van Halen logo on her books.  I think mine had the MTV logo and probably something about Duran Duran.

Now kids get MacBooks and iPads instead of books.   Nobody is covering those in brown grocery bags.  First of all, grocery bags are plastic now.  Secondly, that paper wouldn’t provide much protection when kids drop their device on the ground.  I’m pretty sure the screen would still shatter.  The “optional” laptop insurance coverage is the new book cover. 

How about the lockers?  They still use those same old combination locks.  Is it left, right left, or right, left right?  Shouldn’t there be something digital by now?  After all, they now sell entire lines of designer locker accessories and supplies.  Who wouldn’t want a locker chandelier?  Can’t we all agree that is a little over the top, especially if dad has to stop by school to run the electricity.

Back to school has certainly changed since I was in school, but kids will always dread the start of early mornings, and especially homework!  If we want joyous faces, we’ll need to head to the local pool to watch the ladies group-walking their laps around the lazy river.

Welcome back to school to all students, teachers and staff.  Ready or not, here it comes!

Andra Gillum is a free-lance writer from Upper Arlington with kids heading back to school at Windermere Elementary and Hastings Middle School.  Send your comments and feedback to andra@doggydrama.com.  
 

Andra is also the author of the children’s books “Doggy Drama” and “Puppy Drama” (coming soon).  Learn more at www.doggydrama.com or at www.facebook.com/doggydrama.  

Somebody Get Nate Silver On the Line, I'm Calling the Presidential Election - by Colin Gawel

Ok, before everybody goes bat-shit crazy, this isn't a political post. This is what's called a "horse race" post. I'm not telling anybody how to vote. I'm not arguing for or against any candidate or specific policy. I encourage everybody to get out and vote your conscious this fall. We aren't all supposed to vote the same way, anymore than we would all root for the same football team. It's how democracy works and it's way more fun than having a King boss us around. Best of luck to everybody. I wish everybody could be a winner.

However, since everybody can't win, I'm going to stick my neck out a little earlier than usual and make my "way too early prediction" for the 2016 Presidential race.

My polling methods are slightly less scientific than the brilliant Nate Silver and his website 538. (If you are into the "Horse Race" side of politics, his is the best site. Click here to check it out) Basically, I own a small coffee shop in Upper Arlington, Ohio and I listen to people. Lots of people. You may have heard of Ohio. We are the home of the World Champion Cavs and the Ohio State Football team. We are also a must win state if you want to become President of the United States of America. 

For the past two weeks, the RNC and DNC have held their conventions. People have watched & listened and I have listened to people's reactions as they have come through the coffee shop. I've identified the 4 or 5 swing voters that will tell me who is going to win. Reasonable people who could have voted either way. I nailed the last two elections with this method and I'm going for three in a row. I realize it's early and lots can change in the months ahead, but no guts, no glory.

Do I know what I am talking about? Time will tell. So on November 9th, remember you heard it here first. When that day comes you can stand slack-jawed in awe of my predictive powers or mock me at your leisure. I can't hide, I'm going on the record.

The drum roll please.........................

Trump loses Ohio. Hillary Clinton is the next President of the United States. 

Written in stone. Election over. Done deal. Permission to gamble granted. 

Colin Gawel is just some guy who owns a small coffee shop and writes for Pencilstorm. He also plays in the band Watershed. It's probably not wise to bet money on his advice.

Should Old People Be Allowed to Vote? - by Colin G.

Last week Great Britain voted to withdraw from the European Union, causing the world's financial markets to tremble and forcing many Americans to ask themselves the question: "What is the European Union?"

Look, I'm no expert on the EU either, but I do enjoy the horse-race aspect of these sorts of things and a polling number from the EU referendum jumped out at me. Basically, every person under the age of 40 voted for England to remain in the EU, and every person over 65 voted that England should leave. 

What strikes me about this is that people who have stopped working and will soon be DEAD, have made a decision making life for young people much more difficult: for them to move about and be free to get jobs as part of the Global economy.  This doesn't seem fair. Why should old geezers get to determine what happens to the next generation? They are already cushy on entitlements, watching TV 14 hours a day and having dinner at 4:30pm. Their life is, by all intensive purposes, already over.

And if you think I am counting myself as a smart young person, I am not. For example, just last week I discovered that you could find bus times RIGHT ON GOOGLE MAPS. This was mind- blowing to me. "You mean I don't have to go to the COTA website and download a schedule PDF? I just plug in where I am going and press on the bus icon? WHAAAA?? Amazing!!!"

I was wondering why that picture of the bus was on my phone. Now I know.

My point being, I'm somewhere between being useful and informed and clueless and hopelessly out of touch. And, I'm trending in the wrong direction. So why, when I turn 65 years of age, should I be allowed to vote on policies that will have zero impact on me? I'm not sure i deserve the right. Just bring a phony paper ballot around the senior rec center every other Wednesday so I feel included in the process and less lonely.  Oh, and keep your government hands OFF my sweet government single payer Medicare plan and I will be fine.  

Colin Gawel writes these sorts of things on slow afternoons at Colin's Coffee and he has to turn off the Reds because the suck so bad. He founded Pencilstorm and plays in the band Watershed.