Ray Davies is the Best Songwriter Exhibit C (Father Christmas)

It's Christmas Eve, take one huge guess which song we shall be featuring today?  There have been many great Christmas songs, but in all seriousness, I think reasonable people can agree "Father Christmas" is right near the top of the list.  We can also all probably agree that "Still Love Christmas" by me is near the top as well. (Ha.) Happy Holidays from all of us at Pencilstorm. Thanks for reading! Lyrics and video below.

To read Ray Davies is the greatest songwriter exhibit B click here 

 

 

 "Father Christmas" Songwriter: Ray Davies

When I was small I believed in santa claus
Though I knew it was my dad
And I would hang up my stocking at christmas
Open my presents and I'd be glad

But the last time I played father christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor

Father christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys.
Well beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

Don't give my brother a steve austin outfit
Don't give my sister a cuddly toy
We don't want a jigsaw or monopoly money
We only want the real mccoy

Father christmas, give us some money
Well beat you up if you make us annoyed
Father christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys

But give my daddy a job cause he needs one
Hes got lots of mouths to feed
But if youve got one, I'll have a machine gun
So I can scare all the kids down the street

Have yourself a merry merry christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember the kids who got nothin
While you're drinkin down your wine
 

The Kinks (Ray Davies) on German TV in 1977 "father Christmas"....Father Christmas, give us some money Don't mess around with those silly toys.

The title song to Colin Gawel and the Lonely Bones' December 2010 release. We shot the video at the "Still Love Christmas" release party at Rumba Cafe in Columbus, OH. COLINGAWEL.com

All You Need to Know About Andymanathon Weekend by Colin G.

The "Andymanathon" was started by the late, great CD102.5 program director Andy Davis when he would stay on air live for forty eight straight hours raising money for children's charities. In his passing the tradition has carried on and there are a couple of ways you can join the cause and have some fun doing it. We need your help.

1) Call WWCD102.5 (614 221 1025) December 13th-December 15th and pledge money to hear your favorite song (Watershed, Colin Gawel) played on the radio. This is your chance to take over the airwaves and show how generous Watershed fans can be at the same time. Think big! How much would it cost to get an entire Watershed record played on Sunday afternoon before the concert? Why not call and ask. Pool your resources. If you go to the studio in person you can get a song played for $20 AND a ticket the the Andyman Benefit concert on Sunday December 15th. Inside tip from Brian Phillips: Saturday morning is the best time to get your song played directly on the radio. More details at CD102.5 website by clicking here

2) Attend the annual Andymanathon benefit concert at the Bluestone (583 E. Broad St - Former BOMA across from art museum). Starting a new tradition, Watershed will be performing first but playing a full set. Doors at 5 pm and Watershed on at 5:30 sharp. Following will be Los Gravediggers, The Whiles (featuring Joe Peppercorn) , The Regrettes, Washington Beach Bums.

All ages. Kids under 12 are free. $15 at the door and ALL THE MONEY goes to charity. The musicians are donating their time. For more details on how the money is used click here to visit CD1025 For the Kids

It goes without saying that this charity and the community who support it are near and dear to our Watershed hearts. We would appreciate it greatly if you would join us in giving something back and helping the kids. - Colin

The title song to Colin Gawel and the Lonely Bones' December 2010 release. We shot the video at the "Still Love Christmas" release party at Rumba Cafe in Columbus, OH. COLINGAWEL.com

Colin Gawel and The Lonely Bones, "Still Love Christmas"

Here at Pencilstorm, we are so hip, we write our own holiday music. Sadly, the master tapes of "I Ate Christmas For Breakfast" were ruined when the original Pencilstorm offices were destroyed by a mysterious fire that broke out shortly following our "Festivus" party in 2004. Thankfully, we used some of the insurance money to record the new classic, "Still Love Christmas" by Colin Gawel and The Lonely Bones. (along with an off the hook Vegas weekend. Make sure to ask Hassler about that if you see him)

Watch the video below and purchase the entire record here.

And if you can somehow put down the egg nog and get off your ass, Watershed is playing the Bluestone Sunday Dec 15th @ 5:30 pm & Colin and The Bones are at Woodland's Monday Dec 23rd at 7pm. Both times are solid. Excellent chance you will hear this song live and find yourself singing along. What else can we do?

The title song to Colin Gawel and the Lonely Bones' December 2010 release. We shot the video at the "Still Love Christmas" release party at Rumba Cafe in Columbus, OH. COLINGAWEL.com

Ray Davies is the Best Songwriter. Exhibit A

Anybody who regularly visits the acclaimed Pencilstorm music page knows we like to blow around some serious hot air concerning rock n roll. We do, in all seriousness, know a thing or two about a thing or two and are proud of our work. Still, we concede that rock criticism is a subjective field dominated by losers who would rather write about rock than go out and actually rock. The informed reader is right to take all of our musings with a grain of salt. After all, it is the internet, and we don't even have a podcast. How lame is that?

However, like the sun rising in the East or that math formula PIE you once learned, some facts are established and beyond dispute. Reasonable people can agree, Ray Davies is the greatest songwriter the planet Earth has ever produced. FACT. 

"What? That Kinks guy is the best songwriter? You are crazy. NO WAY Pencilstorm guy."

OK, just for the sake of argument, we suppose, it's mathematically possible that some other Galaxy has produced a better songwriter than Ray, but the burden of proof is on you my friend. Tune your HAM radio to the stars and find it. Because here on this planet, Ray Davies has written more interesting and better songs than: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Hank Williams, Robbie Fulks, all those show tune guys, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen, Chuck Berry, Lucinda Williams, Terry Anderson, Steve Earle, Paul Westerberg, Mick and Keith, Dee Dee Ramone,  Leonard Cohen, Townes Van Zandt, Loretta Lynn and insert your favorite here_______________

There is no debate. Ray Davies is the best songwriter and it's really not even close. We  will now lay out this case in a systematic and cold blooded fashion. Check Pencilstorm every other Sunday morning for another exhibit of Raymond Douglas Davies genius. 

Exhibit A: Village Green Preservation Society

We are the Village Green Preservation Society
God save Donald Duck, vaudeville and Variety
We are the Desperate Dan Appreciation Society
God save strawberry jam and all the different varieties
Preserving the old ways from being abused
Protecting the new ways for me and for you
What more can we do?

We are the draught beer preservation society
God save Mrs. Mopp and good old Mother Riley
We are the custard pie appreciation consortium
God save the George Cross and all those who were awarded them
We are the Sherlock Holmes English speaking vernacular
Help save Fu Manchu, Moriarty and Dracula

We are the office block persecution affinity
God save little shops, china cups and virginity
We are the skyscraper condemnation affiliate
God save Tudor houses, antique tables and billiards
Preserving the old ways from being abused
Protecting the new ways for me and for you
What more can we do?

God save the village green.

London UK 24 January 1973

Ricki C. Calls "Bullshit" On Rolling Stone Magazine's Lou Reed "Tribute"

A coupla weeks ago I bet my good friend Joe Peppercorn of The Whiles five bucks that Rolling Stone wouldn't put Lou Reed on the cover of the next issue, that they'd half-ass his Death Tribute Remembrance by putting some jag-off like Ryan Seacrest or Miley Cyrus on the cover and just do a few pages on Lou's passing inside the mag.  The bet came about at a late-night discussion held at Quinn Fallon's Little Rock bar, after a gig at the Rumba Cafe where Colin's Lonely Bones opened a show for Willie Phoenix's new band, Blues Hippy & The Soul Underground.

The four people involved in the discussion were me, Joe, Colin, and Michael "Biggie" McDermott, road manager extraordinaire of Watershed, so we had at least three generations of rockers involved, ranging in age from 30's (Joe) to 60's (me), therefore rock & roll as it relates to mortality rates seemed an apropos topic.

I never welch on a bet, so I'm gonna pay Joe next time I see him, but I'm only paying off $2.50 due to Rolling Stone's bullshit move of putting Lou on one cover, but then running an "alternate" back cover of some half-naked Latina babe, so that each individual retail outlet can make their own decision on which cover to display.  (case in point: In the Giant Eagle, Kroger & Meijer I was in this week, the cheesecake cover predominated.  The only store that featured the Lou version was the oh-so-erudite Barnes & Noble.  Either way, it's a pussy move on Rolling Stone's part: why not one cover and the rack jobbers have to sink or swim with Lou?) 

The actual Rolling Stone coverage was equally watered-down & tepid.  (Not that I really expected better, Rolling Stone hasn't really been a rock & roll magazine since maybe 1969, when Jann Wenner made his rock & roll bed by championing hometown San Fransciscans Jefferson Airplane and The Grateful Dead and leaving what he considered the Great Unwashed Midwestern Heathen Rock of The MC5 and The Stooges and the oh-so-nihilistic New York noise of The Velvet Underground out in the Great Rock & Roll Wasteland.  But I digress.)  The David Fricke article was workmanlike but hardly inspired and the remembrances from various rockers & arty film types ranged from touching (Reed's widow Laurie Anderson may almost have brought a tear to my jaded eye) to typical & rote.  (Why does Rolling Stone insist on having U-2's Bono contribute a full-page eulogy every time somebody dies?  It's like being born Irish entitles him to some Grand Vision we lesser Americans are not privy to.  I like Bono, but he's hardly James Joyce.  Or even Frank McCourt.)  And where were contributions from surviving Velvet Underground members John Cale or Maureen Tucker?

The low point of the "tributes" was Michael Stipe of REM's totally exclusionary, humorless casting of Lou Reed as an Outsider Gay Icon.  If I'm going to take Stipe's piece at face value, I myself, as a heterosexual working-class boy in the 1960's, would not have been permitted to enjoy the music of The Velvet Underground because I did not possess the Proper Hipster Cred that Stipe seems to want to demand of Lou listeners.  Shame on you Michael, rock & roll is supposed to be for Everybody, not just The Cool Kids. - Ricki C. / November 13th, 2013

ps. By far the best, most moving tribute I've read for Lou was by his fellow poet/rocker Patti Smith on The New Yorker website that my pal Hamell On Trial sent me.  Check it out here: 

PATTI SMITH ON LOU REED 

 

 

 

Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Nominations - 2013 by Ricki C.

I have a host of problems with the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame (hereinafter referred to as R&RHOF).  Some of these have been previously dealt with in this blog, but let's restate them here in a nutshell: 

1) Rock & roll music was once a free, living, anarchic Wild Thing.  (The Troggs - who hit with "Wild Thing" in 1966 - are not in the R&RHOF, by the way.)  Once an art-form/force of nature such as rock & roll starts getting codified and rigidized into establishing a Hall Of Fame, that art-form/force of nature is OVER.

2) Sports should have Halls Of Fame because the contributions of its members can be quantified in some definitive manner: home runs hit, touchdowns scored, baskets or goals made, championships won, contributions made to the players' teams, etc.  By its very nature, rock & roll is not quantifiable: i.e. if we were going to go simply on one quantified measurement - say, record sales - then Michael Jackson and The Eagles would have been the first acts inducted into the R&RHOF and thank God, Allah, Buddha, Jehovah, L. Ron Hubbard (fill in your own chosen deity), they were not.

3) To extend the question of quantifiability: who can REALLY say who is important to rock & roll music, and HOW important they are?  Sure, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, The Beatles, Bruce Springtseen and David Bowie (to list the first five off the top of my head) are important to rock & roll, but are they any MORE important than One or Two-Hit Wonders like The Left Banke?  Would 1960's rock & roll have been as wonderful as it was if "Walk Away Renee" or "Pretty Ballerina" had never existed?  How about The Syndicate Of Sound's "Little Girl" or "Psychotic Reaction" by Count Five?  And what about 60's bands that have never even been NOMINATED to the R&RHOF even though they had a fuckload of hits: The Beau Brummels, The Standells, Paul Revere & The Raiders, Herman's Hermits, Manfred Mann?  Pertinent question: Why are The Hollies and The Small Faces - both talented but essentially hit-making hackmeister British Invasion bands - in the R&RHOF, but Gerry & The Pacemakers and The Searchers are not?  My Answer - Because The Hollies contained Graham Nash (later of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young) and The Small Faces morphed into The Faces which contained Rod Stewart & Ron Wood, a future Rolling Stone.  And let's face facts, folks: Jann Wenner loves him some Rich Hippies and Big Names.

Which brings us to the current crop of nominees.......

1) Deep Purple / Yes - Deep Purple?  Seriously?  I liked Deep Purple.  I liked them when I was in high school in the 1960's and they were goosing mediocre Joe South and Neil Diamond tunes ("Hush," "Kentucky Woman") into Heavy Rock Hits.  I liked them for being a reliable mid-level Heavy English band. I liked them less later when organist Jon Lord came up with Concerto For Group & Orchestra and moved them into Ponderous Orchestrated Symphonic-Rock (?) Territory, a genre later perfected by Yes.  (And let's face facts: if it wasn't for Yes we would not have been subjected to their hopelessly inferior American copies - Styx, Marillion, Pegasus, Journey, and, the most-dreaded of all, Kansas.)  Are either Deep Purple or Yes more important to rock & roll than fellow Englishmen Mott The Hoople?  I think not.  (And Mott's Ian Hunter wrote "Cleveland Rocks" for chrissakes, but still can't get a nomination to the Rock Hall on the shores of Lake Erie.)

2) Kiss - Kiss?  Kiss?  I really have to laugh at this one.  I hate to run afoul of my good friends Colin Gawel & Joe Oestreich of Watershed here, but I think even they would agree that it's lamentable that The MC5 and The New York Dolls (without whom, let's face facts, Kiss would not exist) have never been considered for the R&RHOF, but Kiss gets nominated.  I suppose I should be heartened that the Rock Hall has relaxed its rather genteel May-I-Pour-You-A-Cup-Of-Tea-Darling? Standards to include a hard-rock band like Kiss in the nominations, but why choose a mediocre, overblown Spectacle-Over-Music hard-rock band when you could consider the melodically-inventive, most perfectly-balanced combination of power & pop hard-rock band EVER - Cheap Trick?  (Oh yeah, now I remember, because Kiss are from New York City and Cheap Trick are from the Midwest.)   

3) Linda Ronstadt - This nomination is just sad for a number of reasons, most of them completely unrelated to music.  Ronstadt's fellow California Soft Rock Compatriots - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Eagles, Jackson Browne - have been in the R&RHOF for years, if not DECADES, but Ronstadt has never gotten a nomination until this year, when it was revealed she has Parkinson's Disease.  Condescending?  Yeah.  Sexist?  Yeah.  Ronstadt was a reliable hit-maker all through the 1970's and a fairly good interpreter of singer-songwriter material  (I'm sure Jackson Browne, Warren Zevon and even Elvis Costello appreciated the publishing royalties that lined their pockets from Ronstadt covers of their songs), but she can't get a Rock Hall nomination until she contracts Parkinson's?  Sad.

4) Chic / LL Cool J / N.W.A. - Okay, I have no problem with these three acts being considered for a Rap Hall Of Fame or Soul/R&B Hall Of Fame, but the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame?  Please.  And before anybody levels a Racism Charge, allow me make my point.  There are many black artists who belong in the R&RHOF: Chuck Berry (without whom rock & roll might not even exist, and certainly wouldn't be as much fun as it is), Little Richard, Bo Diddley, Sly & The Family Stone, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Prince, etc.  If we're going to nominate Chic, LL Cool J or N.W.A., where are the nominations for Love, The Chambers Brothers, Bad Brains or Living Color, all of whom are more vital black contributors to the legacy of rock & roll?

5) The Paul Butterfield Blues Band / Peter Gabriel / Hall & Oates / The Meters / Cat Stevens / Link Wray - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  Why bother?

6) The Zombies - These guys certainly deserve to be in the R&RHOF, but I would hate to think they were only nominated this year because of Pop Culture Zombie Mania - The Walking Dead, World War Z, etc.

7) Nirvana / The Replacements - As a rocker, I suppose these were the two nominations that made the most sense.  But it's going to be sad to me when Nirvana makes it into the Rock Hall on their first try and The Replacements don't.  It's probably not entirely fair but I kinda blame Nirvana - and specifically Kurt Cobain - for the current Dire Straits Of Rock & Roll.  (note; Mark Knopfler's band is not in the R&RHOF either.)  First Cobain knocked Hair Metal (which, though I certainly wasn't a fan, was at least FUN in a rock & roll sense) off the charts, radio, and MTV, thus ushering in The Age Of Alternative.  He then went on to CONTINUOUSLY bellyache (literally, he had an ulcer) about Fame, His Fans, The Pressures of Rock Stardom, etc.  That is not a Good Message to send to aspiring rock stars.  And when The Biggest Rock Star In The World blows his brains out in a Seattle garage, the lesson to young boys & girls with guitars is that Genius Is Pain and you should just roll around and wallow in your grief rather than use rock & roll to escape that darkness.  And that's not Rock & Roll.

The Replacements are rock & roll.  And that's exactly why I'm betting they don't get into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame in 2013.  We'll see.  - Ricki C. / Oct. 25th, 2013