KISS Kountdown Addendum: I Call Bullshit On The Rock Hall by Wal Ozello

Let me start by saying I still hate KISS. I still feel they ruined rock and roll for me.

But that's MY vision of rock and roll and that's all it is - my vision. Who am I but some rock blogger? Somehow, the executives at the Rock Hall think they know better than me. That they know better than everyone.  And that's bullshit.

There's been 12+ days of blogging about KISS here at pencilstorm, lots of different guest writers, and I can't believe that none of us picked up on one fact that I think it the biggest piece of bullshit that the Rock Hall has ever done.

The other nightt, only the four original members of KISS were inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. That's right. Only the four original guys.

No Bruce Kulick. No Eric Carr. No Tommy Thayer. All guys that contributed to the overall, long-term success of the band. But none of them received the Rock Hall honor. They were forced to sit in the audience.

By comparison... you know how many Grateful Dead members were inducted back in 1?  Twelve. Members of the Eagles in 1998?  Seven. How many from the E. Street Band this year? 10. Heck the E. Street Band soaked up at least 30 minutes of stage time giving their "Thank you's."

Here's the thing - the President and CEO of the Rock Hall decided that only the four original members of KISS should be inducted.

And to that I call "Bullshit." A band is a band, and whether one guy sings in it today and another tomorrow, it's still a band.  When Van Halen was inducted, they accepted David Lee Roth right along with Sammy Hagar. Anything else would have just been wrong.

Here's the crazy thing. The Rock Hall has turned into "The Establishment." The type of organization that rock n roll was set up to hate and rebel against.

It's time to stand up and voice our opinion. We all need to email the Rock Hall and call "Bullshit." Some guy in some boardroom shouldn't be making these decisions - the fans should. That way bands like Cheap Trick, Journey, and Mott the Hoople all have a fighting chance to get into the Rock Hall. Because what the fans say matter.

Instead of some Boardroom Rock Hall Executives inducting bands like ABBA.  That's right folks. Let me poor salt in your wound. You're at home right now complaining that your beloved band isn't in the Rock Hall, but ABBA is.

I guess the Rock Hall thinks that Agnetha Fältskog rocks it out better than Vinnie Vincent.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Learn more about Wal Ozello and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here

Bruce, I Went Ahead and Wrote Out Setlist For Tonight's Show in Columbus. You're Welcome, Colin

Bruce, I am sure you have a million things to do, what with family activities and just keeping the band organized. I mean, between Little League and work I can barely find time to get our four-piece together for practice, so I have no idea how you get the entire E Street Band in the room to rehearse. Scheduling must be a bitch.

Anyway, as luck would have it, I own a small coffee shop and usually have a little free time on my hands before people start stumbling in for their daily fix. You have done a lot for me so I figured it is time for me to chip in and help you out a bit. It's no big deal really. Happy to do it. Also, this seems more efficient than bringing a bunch of signs to the show. They are hard to carry and I'm sure you get tired of squinting through the lights every night trying to read them. Win - Win.

I went ahead studied your shows from 2014 and I think I have kept it pretty close to what you have been trying to accomplish.  In the interest of full disclosure, I suppose I should mention I am bringing my ten year old son Owen  tonight for his first blown E. Street show (He caught you solo with the Prez in 2012) so I suppose my intentions aren't completely altruistic . Admittedly, I  sprinkled in tracks to stack the deck a little in his favor.

Here you go, feel free to print out as many copies as you need. You're welcome. Good luck tonight!

Setlist: Bruce Springsteen Nationwide Arena Columbus, OH Tuesday April 15th

High Hopes

Badlands

Darkness on the Edge of Town

Two Hearts

Bobby Jean

Wrecking Ball

Death to My Hometown

Atlantic City

Shackled and Drawn

Heaven's Wall

Because the Night

--You can pick a "sign request" here though I would appreciate you looking for "Long Walk Home" or "Lucky Town."

Darlington County or Cadillac Ranch

American Skin

Promised Land 

Ghost of Tom Joad

The Rising

The Land of Hope and Dreams

Encore:

Racing in the Street  (Read the chapter of the same title in the book "Hitless Wonder - A Life in Minor League Rock n Roll" and you will understand why this is a good Columbus choice.)

Born to Run

10th Ave Freeze-Out

Dancing in the Dark

Encore 2: 

You can decide.

Colin Gawel plays in the band Watershed. He once met Bruce Springsteen and wrote about it. Click here to read. He also was chosen to perform with his band the Lonely Bones at the Springsteen Exhibit opening at the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.

Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band in Cincy, April 8th, 2014 by Ricki C.

"For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside

That it ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive”

- Bruce Springsteen, “Badlands,” 1978

I went to see Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band last Tuesday, April 8th, 2014, in Cincinnati, Ohio, and it was an all-timer – the best rock & roll show I’ve seen in more years than I can remember and the second-best Springsteen show I’ve ever witnessed, coming in right behind the September 5th, 1978 show at Vet’s Memorial in Columbus.  (Wait, have I said that about EVERY Springsteen show I’ve seen after 1978?  Is the one I just saw and been left in open-mouthed wonder by, and the one that is freshest in my memory, the second-best Springsteen show I ever saw?  No, this time I mean it.)  (At least until tomorrow night in Columbus.)   

I attended this show with my oldest & dearest friend Jodie and our friend Chris Clinton – whom we met exactly thirty years ago this year, in 1984 in the overnight camp-out line for the Born In The U.S.A. tour at the Buzzard’s Nest Records store on Morse Road.  We met back in the days when ticket-buying was still a communal experience, when you could hang out from Friday afternoon to Saturday morning to try to score great seats, before buying tickets became soulless & computerized like everything else.  Chris is from Ireland, was working on some kind of exchange program for a computer company, and we just started talking because he was immediately in front of us in line.  He retains a great Irish brogue to this day, thirty years down the line, but back then, that night, his accent was so thick that when he got excited and started talking fast we couldn’t understand a single fucking word he said.  Jodie & I would just nod and smile and try to hang on and catch the gist of what was flying out of that gifted Dublin mouth of Mr. Clinton’s.  Jodie and I have known each other most of our lives.  We dated briefly in our teens, remain forever friends to this day, all these years later.  There are no two people on the planet I would rather see a Bruce Springsteen show with. 

Okay, just some scattershot observations before I get into the heart of the piece:

1)    It somehow had not occurred to me before the start of this show, that with Clarence Clemons and Danny Federici gone from the E Street Band line-up, bass player Gary W. Tallent is the LAST remaining member of the original Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J. and The Wild, The Innocent & The E Street Shuffle era band.  I’m simultaneously enormously saddened by the fact that he is The Last Man Standing and immensely heartened by the fact that he has weathered all of the changes of the last 41 years.  Can you imagine how many vans, RV’s, tour buses, clubs, theaters, arenas, stadiums, gas stations, telephone poles, farm fields, full moons, hotel rooms, towns, cities, countries, stages and faces he's seen since 1973?

2)    Little Steven Van Zandt is off filming Lilyhammer or some other extracurricular activity, so this is the first time since the Born In The U.S.A. tour I’m not seeing his Ultimate Badass Presence on a Bruce stage, and I REALLY, REALLY miss him.  So does The E Street Band.  There is a telling moment in “Promised Land” where substitute guitarists Tom Morello and Nils Lofgren – and yeah, I still consider Nils Lofgren just a sub lo these 30 years on – strain to recreate one Little Steven guitar figure BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM and they STILL can’t/don’t get it right.

3)    Speaking of substitutes: THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY GODDAMN MUSICIANS & SINGERS onstage at these shows.  With four extra horn players PLUS Jake Clemons (ably) standing in for his late, lamented Uncle Clarence (and HOW LUCKY is Bruce Springsteen that a nephew of The Big Man is this good a tenor sax player?), three back-up singers, a totally-superfluous percussionist (you’ve got MAX FUCKING WEINBERG in the band, Bruce!), plus Soozie Tyrell and (on this night, at least) Patti Scialfa augmenting the core E Street Band of Tallent, Weinberg, Roy Bittan and new guy Charlie Giordano, there are 17 musicians & singers onstage.  This is at least 10 too many.  They’re all great, mind you, and I realize that Bruce wanted to expand the range of the band after the Wrecking Ball album to include gospel & soul elements into the mix, but there are times in the show I find myself longing for the lean, mean, streamlined, superfine seven-man band I saw in 1978.

I NEEDED this concert.

It was a long, cold, snowy, tough winter and I had my fourth (minor) cardiac surgery exactly one week before the show, on April 1st.  (And what better day to have heart surgery than April Fool’s Day?)  In his introductory remarks to “Growin’ Up” – during which Bruce brought a guy celebrating his birthday down to sing (see video below) – Springsteen said, "First thing you do, before you write a decent song, before you pick up a guitar, before you play your first gig, you lay in bed at night and you dream yourself up.”  As I alluded to in my "Why I Hate Kiss" pencilstorm piece, I was a painfully shy child & teenager until I got the idea in my head that I could pick up a guitar and be a whole other person, a completely new human being, I could “dream myself up.”  It’s times like those in Bruce shows where I’m just totally astounded that Springsteen can take concepts & thoughts that have been rattling around in my head for 50 years or so – without my ever being able to articulate them – and send them back to me from a rock & roll stage in two or three perfect, succinct sentences.   

So there’s a lot of things I could say here: I could say Bruce Springsteen is my absolute favorite rock & roll performer of all time, and that would be true;  I could say there is no other arena-rock act performing today who comes anywhere NEAR Bruce’s commitment to artistic merit and continuing integrity – let’s face facts, The Rolling Stones may still be cool, but they haven’t made a great album since maybe 1982, and while they may pay lip service to performing new material, you KNOW it’s gonna be an oldies show with Mick & Keith and the boys;  I could – in the words of Elliott Murphy, my other all-time favorite rock & roll performer, who began his career as a fellow “New Dylan” with Bruce back in 1973 – “analyze each and every song, but that’s what took all the fun out of chemistry class.”

So let me just say this – Bruce Springsteen has the most instinctive and complete command of the power, passion and promise of rock & roll music of any performer I have ever seen, and he knows exactly where the heart & soul of songs as disparate as “High Hopes,” “Badlands,” “Lost In The Flood,” “The Ghost Of Tom Joad,” and the Isley Brothers’ partytime soul-smasher “Shout” all meet.

They meet right in our hearts.

Go to the show in Columbus tomorrow night.  I guarantee you won’t regret it. – Ricki C. / April 13th, 2014

(editor’s note: We expect Ricki C. might have 1000 or so words to say about the Columbus show later
in the week.  So might Colin.  So might you.  Send ‘em in and we’ll run the best in Pencilstorm.)

(ps. You can't really see it in the video but the crowd DID NOT CATCH birthday boy (and how cool would it be to get to sing with Bruce Springsteen ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?!? ) when he stage-dove at the end.  He picked a place with a bunch of little girls and a definite shortage of guys and the girls just kinda parted and let him fall.  A couple of guys made a last-minute grab for him and kept him from hitting the floor square on his head and killing himself, but he hit the arena floor HARD.  It's too grainy to see, but the look on Bruce and the band's faces was priceless, they were like, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???!!!??? Did that guy just dive off the stage?"  Classic.) 

This is how close we were to Bruce on Tuesday.  (photo by Jodie)

Jodie, Chris, Ricki C.

New Evidence Proves Cheap Trick Is Best Rock Band Ever.

Achtung. Salty Language.

Sure, sure, we talk out our ass a bit here at Pencilstorm.  I mean, who doesn't? (Grantland.) And in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit I did start a band called "Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame? " (Click here for show info). But in all seriousness, just between us music geeks, what about actually placing value on being the best? Forget sales, hits, critics, original members, fan support, your stupid opinion, my stupid opinion. You know what they say about opinions, they are like Gene Simmons's Asshole, anybody who bought a copy doesn't know shit.

So I defy you to watch this recently unearthed, raw footage of Cheap Trick in God's blessed daylight and tell me you have ever seen a better rock n roll band. LIAR! You didn't watch. Give me 2 minutes of your life and I will show you the error of your ways. Name your favorite band here_____________________  They were never as good as this…..

Raw, unedited news camera footage from the legendary Cheap Trick "homecoming" show at Pecatonica (Rockford) Fairgrounds - July 4, 1979. Full versions of "Hello There" and "Come On, Come On," along with a brief snippet of "Stiff Competition."

Sure, it's late and I may or may not have been drinking, but play this clip next to YOUR favorite band clip. And then blow me, not literally of course, just in that online Mumford & Sons way. I forget, Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?  - Colin G.

Colin Gawel founded Pencilstorm and should have gone to bed before he posted this. He is right, though.

KISS, Black Flag and a Parking Lot in Spokane, Washington - by Brian Phillips

This is the final story in the 10 Day KISS Kountdown to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. Click here for previous KISS story.

Brian Phillips Vaguely Remembers Seeing KISS in Spokane 1985.

I feel like I don't have a good reason to write this, but figure I should anyway. My relationship with Kiss is hardly intimate. True, my big sister bought me "Rock N Roll Over" on cassette for my 13th birthday and that was my first album. I'm pretty sure I asked for "Destroyer" or "Alive," but that's only because I didn't know any other Kiss records. Growing up in a small town far from Seattle rock radio and years before MTV how could I? Perhaps I knew about "Love Gun" too, though I'm certain I would have thought the title referred to a literal gun that fired daisies and made feather-haired lasses in Junior High fall in love with you. I was an awkward, naive little bugger. I suppose most of us were.

High school came and with that I became a Rush fanatic. I listened to "Permanent Waves" and "Moving Pictures" over and over and over. I don't recall thinking of Kiss one way or the other until college at Washington State. We all watched the MTV press conference in '83 when the makeup came off and "Lick It Up" was on all the time.

"Animalize" followed and that tour hit Spokane two hours to the north in early 1985. My college radio program director and his girlfriend were going and Seattle prog rockers Queensryche were opening and for some reason I thought they were pretty fucking awesome so I decided to go. 

In those days The Spokane Colisium was like most in mid-sized American cities. Shaped like a bread box, and years of smashed gum on the the cold cement floors, the old barn grabbed it's fair share of butt rock tours. I remember burn-out Spokane kids in the parking lot slamming Rainier Beer pounders and blasting Black Sabbath's "Children Of The Grave" as we stole through the Eastern Washington winter gloaming. Think of the mini-doc "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" and you'll get the idea.

No video exists of that show, but the essential Setlist.fm has captured the evening for posterity. Then again I'm pretty sure Kiss did more or less the same show every night. Detroit in late 1984 will give you an idea. 

I was stone-cold sober, but hell that was a long time ago. I don't remember much other than from our vantage point we could see roadies throwing bras and panties at Gene Simmons' feet. This was a few months after we'd seen Spinal Tap mind you. We knew all about that shit. Paul Stanley's "Cold Gin" patter seemed to go on forever and involved a nurse. 

My metal days were short lived. A couple of skaters from the tony enclave of Bellevue, Washington were on my dorm floor and they had Dead Kennedys records. Later that year I'd be back in Spokane seeing Black Flag at The Grotto Hall, a rickety old building I heard had burned to the ground a few years later.

Before the show Henry Rollins stood behind the sound man and banged his head during the entire Black Sabbath "Born Again" album. Later some asshole from the Spokane band Vampire Lesbos was getting out of hand in the pit, so Rollins grabbed him, produced a hand of ball sweat from his ubiquitos black gym shorts, and rubbed it on the guy's face. Funny what you remember.

Brian Phillips is the afternoon DJ for CD102.5 FM, Radio's Last Hope.

KISS Kountdown Secret Bonus Surprise Hidden Track Tattoo Package Booklet - by Colin Gawel

There is just so much KISS up in Pencilstorm we are adding a bonus day just like those cool bonus DVDs you get in the Kissology collection. Click here to read Day 2 - "Loving a Band That Is Easy to Hate, My Life with Kiss" by David Martin

Kiss Kountdown Secret Bonus Surprise Hidden Track Tattoo Package Booklet. - by Colin Gawel

PEOPLE! We can bicker about whether KISS is the greatest or the absolute worst rock band in the history of the world but one fact is beyond question: "Kiss Alive Forever - The Complete Touring History" is the greatest rock n roll book ever written. I have literally killed THOUSANDS of hours in the van touring with Watershed eyeballing this piece of pure fandom genius. Even Ricki C. begrudgingly admits it's a nerd's paradise. It has every show, bill, attendance and setlist for every KISS show ever. Ever. Did I mention EVER? The amount of research it must have taken is truly mind-boggling. And what's even crazier, it is extremely well-written. This is no psycho-fan hack-job. The authors pull no punches and the book is brimming with insider accounts of even the most obscure gigs. Rumor has it, a revised edition is in the cards. I will be ordering a copy, and a spare, at the earliest possible opportunity. Any Kiss fan caught without one isn't a Kiss fan at all. Click here to check it out.

 Q: What's the Worst Thing Ever Done by a KISS Member, Band or Solo?

A: Though this may seem like a tough question, it's actually very easy to answer. The worst thing ever done by a KISS member is the Peter Criss song "One For All" and it's not even close. A terrible song and an even worse performance. Even Desmond Child might have helped with this gem. The vocals are so out of tune it literally gives me chills. Oh, and to make it even better, this is the Catman's "9/11" song. I guess I sort of get that, since every time I hear it I wish a jet-liner would smash into my house and destroy my stereo. Please, if you only take one thing away from the ten-day Kiss Kountdown, make it this song. NEVER FORGET!

One For All" : The lead-off and title track from Peter's 2007 solo album. This song was inspired by the events of, and resulting from, 9-11-01 and Peter's perspective as a Brooklyn native of the shock and horror of that day.

Kiss has the unique distinction of being simultaneously the most over-rated AND under-rated band of all time. 

Under-Rated: KISS Destroyer

It's odd that the only KISS record semi-respected by normal people can be underrated, but it's true. Destroyer isn't just a good KISS record, track by track it can stand next to any classic hard rock album. AC/DC, GnR, Metallica, etc. Bob Ezrin nailed the production and the songs still hold up well. "God of Thunder" alone renders the entire Alice Cooper catalog virtually obsolete and rocks as hard as anything Metallica ever did. Dig the bass groove on "Shout It Out Loud," totally swinging. "Do You Love Me," "King of the Night World," "Flaming Youth" and "Detroit Rock City" are four of Paul's finest moments. Even Peter manages to avoid humiliation with the classic ballad "Beth" which the Catman claims to have written....but....really Ezrin did the heavy lifting and Gene came up with the title. Speaking of Gene, "Great Expectations" is totally hilarious though I doubt the Demon was in on the joke. He isn't known for his sense of humor.

Actually now that i think about it, Gene Simmons himself is both over-rated and under-rated. Some people think Gene is a business genius, but if you study the history of KISS nothing could be further from the truth. Gene's hare-brained schemes have cost the band untold millions, and making comments like "KISS isn't a rock band, it is a rock brand" publicly while at the same time writing tracks like "Burn Bitch Burn" is probably not the best way to meet those year-end sales goals. While I have no doubt Gene truly believes KISS is a rock "brand" (and that the bitch should probably burn or at least be made to smell it) certainly a smarter business person would just make this statement over dinner to a close friend and not to a major music magazine. It would be like entering politics and then declaring on Meet The Press, "I'm only running for office to line my pockets." While it may be true, probably best to keep those thoughts to yourself.

Still, Gene is an under-rated singer and bass player. He has managed to be a rock star who is clean and sober which is an admirable feat in it's own right. He isn't afraid to try new ideas. Tongue magazine anyone?  What's more is that he owns up to his mistakes, which is more than most people or politicians can say. If Donald Trump can run for President, why not Gene Simmons? Seriously, it would be great pub.  I've never met Gene personally, but other than Ace and Peter, I've never heard a negative word about the man. And...... when it comes to dressing like a demon, blowing fire and spitting blood, Gene is the best in the history of the world. His original idea is why he is rich and famous. The rest is just gravy.

Were the KISS non make-up years as bad as i remember?

Well, yes and no. See Kiss got lucky that when they finally cried uncle and unmasked  they landed flat in the "hairband" era of pop music. You know how the "steroid era" in base ball inflated everybody's numbers so crappy players were OK and good players could hit over sixty home runs? That is sorta how the hairband era was for rock n roll. Bands like Brittney Fox could get a big record deal and a video played on MTV, while Bon Jovi could become the biggest band in the world with their brand of Desmond Child, test market hard rock.

So yes, the non make-up KISS catelog isn't going to rival the Stones post Brian Jones era, but how does it stand up to the biggest band of the same period? It stands up reasonably well.

Bon Jovi's Ten Most Popular Songs     vs  KISS Songs From the Same ERA

Unholy (Revenge) Tears Are Falling (Asylum) All Hell is Breaking Loose (Lick It Up) Rise To It (Hot in the Shade) Get All That You Can Take (Animalize) Secretly Cruel (Asylum) Forever (Hot In The Shade) On The 8th Day (Lick It Up) Hide Your Heart (Hot in the Shade) Reason to Live (Crazy Nights)

There is no neat ending to the surprise bonus track tattoo booklet. You should feel lucky you even got it.

Colin Gawel plays in the band Watershed and is the founder of Pencilstorm. He also owns a coffee shop and is married with a ten year old son. His wife and customers cannot wait for this stupid Kiss Kountdown to end so they can finally get his attention. His son thinks it's cool.