The Dead Schembechlers Are Back with "Harbaugh to Hell." Check it Out. Happy Hate Week!

It's time to forget about foolish things like National Titles and get back to what the season is all about. 

The legendary DEAD SCHEMBECHLERS, who this year celebrate their 25th anniversary of skewering MICHIGAN WOLVERINE football in favor of their beloved OHIO STATE BUCKEYES, will release their latest opus, "HARBAUGH TO HELL" on Halloween 2015. The cut can be purchased via iTUNES from the their own FLAMING WOLVERINE DEATH RECORDS.


Rock Nation Declares War on ISIS - by Colin G.

In a stirring 25 minute address to the House of Lords, and members of other bands that don't suck, President Dave Grohl formally announced what many in the media had been speculating for days, "We are a tolerant culture. Our tent is big and we welcome people from all religions no matter how crazy. You can worship Jesus Christ, the Prophet Muhammad, King Diamond or all three for that matter.  All we ask, is that when you are in our church, the church of rock n roll, you get your balls to the wall. And maybe purchase a t-shirt or a CD to support the band. At least buy them a beer. But after the recent events in Paris, we have no choice but to look back in anger, and announce that Rock n Roll is formally declaring war in ISIS. Or ISIL. Or Daesh. Or whatever they are called.. "

At that moment, Vice President Lemmy Kilmister suddenly woke up and screamed, "When you shoot up a rock show, you crossed a line. Now it's personal, motherf*%kers." And with that he began firing glass whisky pints into the ceiling fans.

The Reverend Little Richard grabbed the microphone and appealed for calm in the moment. Nevertheless, he supports President Grohl's declaration of war. "No matter what faith you follow, every doctrine knows it's a sin to kill a merch man, baby. Blessed are those who move the gear and sell the swag.  I mean, even the Nazis wouldn't shoot a roadie. You may need him to fix a tank or sell shirts one day.  These heathens need to be stopped. It's time to rip it up!"

President Grohl also stated that the rock nation would waste no time going on the offensive, especially in light of  breaking news that members of ISIS or ISIL or Daesh or Yeesh have begun burning drum sets and saxophones to eliminate rock music from their territory completely.

Senator Neil Peart from the Liberal Wilco party seemed dumbfounded at these allegations, "I can't believe what you're saying, these things they can't be true. Our world could use this beauty, just think what they might do."

House Rep. Ted Nugent of the Ultra-Conservative Altamont party quickly responded: "Professor, they are true." Click here for the story  He continued, "While I am glad President Grohl has finally had the balls to step on his Big Muff and make this declaration, it is way overdue. I have been telling you for years that what is the point of having all these semi-automatic weapons here at home if we are only going to use them to shoot up American movie theaters and American classrooms. We need to take the 2nd amendment Double Live Gonzo for some payback."

Insiders have stated on background that not only is the Rock N Roll Nation planning  to defeat ISIS, but they are looking to stage a huge outdoor metal festival somewhere near Raqqa in the Northern Territories. Secretary of Defense Lars Ulrich added "This is a war for the hearts and minds of these teenagers.You think these ISIS kids are radical now?  And all they have had to motivate them are some old guys reading them WORDS while drinking TEA? Just wait until they HEAR "Number of the Beast" performed live by Iron Maiden at 125 decibels while SMOKING that sweet Afgani hashish. You are going to see some teenagers turn radical for real, and not gentle like before. This time they won't be shooting up the streets of Paris, they will be fighting against their parents, teachers and preachers. They will shout at the devil. They won't be denied their inalienable right to shout it out loud. They will fight for their right to party. They will fight the power. They will not run to the hills. The region will be transformed throughout the power of rock."

Promoters at Clear Channel couldn't be reached for comment but did indicate the festival would be the biggest and loudest metal show ever staged in hostile desert territory and that the Eagles of Death Metal would get a headlining spot.  An insider added, "Well, maybe not headlining, but right before Metallica. Well, maybe not because they aren't really metal but they will get a good slot. At least 40 minutes. And a quick soundcheck. Definitely higher on the bill than those assholes in Megadeath."

General Jack White of the Seven Nation Army expeditionary force has been mum on the military side of the operation but it is widely believed that Colonel Glenn Danzig will be leading the Vinnie Vincent Invasion from the West, while Operation Screaming For Vengeance will move from the North trying to catch the ISIS fighters in a classic pincer movement. It is assumed that the elite "Rock n Roll Professionals" unit led by Sargent Scott Lucas are already on the ground making targeted strikes as if ISIS stole a sticker from the Local H merch table. (shudder) Furthermore, Captain Rudolf Schenker of the Rockwaffe has confirmed that once ISIS or ISIL or Deish or Yeesh or Geesh is defeated, stage, amplifiers and merch would be airlifted in from Berlin to set up for the show tentatively called, "ISIS, What a Bunch of Assholes. Let's Melt Their Faces Together." 

 

Obviously, this is all in good fun and we here at Pencilstorm send out prayers and thoughts to the Eagles Of Death Metal and all those injured by evil actors the world over, whether it be Paris, Baghdad, Beirut or Syria itself. Let's hope this madness ends sooner than later. 

Colin G. is in the band Watershed and started Pencilstorm because he got bored at his coffee shop. Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel out December 2015. Click here to pre-order.

 

Track Listing and Pre-Order For "Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel" - Your Support Much Appreciated.

We are now accepting pre-orders for "Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel."

Click here to visit my Kickstarter program to have your autographed copy mailed directly to you this December. Any support is much appreciated. 

It's been in the cards for awhile, but I'm finally getting all my best solo recordings together with a bunch of new tracks for a one-time release. Pre-order and it comes right to your door in December. I cannot promise any other timely way to get your hands on a hard copy at this time, other than coming to a show. So if you want a copy, now is the time to act.

The tentative track listing is as follows:

Profile / Superior / Cold Weather / Dad Can't Help You Now / Words We Say / Chemotherapy / Lonely Bones / Podcast / Best if i Go / AM Boy / Sad Drive / She Rains / See You Tonight (Live) / Half of Me (Live) / Pretty in a Slutty Way (Live) / Think I'm Gonna Make It / Try a Little Faith / Still Love Christmas

It is being released on a nifty foldout CD with lots of groovy artwork (Digital Download Code Too).  It's too much music for a  vinyl release so that is going to have to wait for another day.

The release show is at Woodland's Wednesday Dec 23rd.

Please check it out and help me spread the word. Thanking you in advance, your pal, Colin

Official music video for Colin Gawel's "Superior". The single was released on the EP-CD "Superior" by Mike Landolt's Curry House Records label. More at www.colingawel.com. Video produced by Palestra Creative (www.palestracreative.com).

Y.O.Y.O.Y. Would I be Listening to a Live Version of Y.O.Y.O.Y. - by Colin Gawel

Folks, I'm not going to bullshit you. It's late. I'm tired. You probably are, too. I've cracked a few and I'm trolling through Youtube. It's a simple man's way to forget the Paris blues and unwind for a bit. So for your Saturday night freedom loving pleasure, enjoy this rare live recording of Y.O.Y.O.Y by John Lennon's and Elvis Costello's favorite American band: Cheap Trick. Those that know, will know why this is cool.

Cheap Trick Y.O.Y.O.Y Live Soundcheck. I am not sure exactly when this is from, so any information will be helpful.


Willie Phoenix & the Soul Underground Set To Open Rosie Reunion Show at the LC, Friday October 23rd

The beating heart & soul of Columbus rock & roll - Willie Phoenix - will be opening the Rosie Reunion show this coming Friday, October 23rd at the LC.  Doors are at 7 pm, the mighty Soul Underground (Myke Rock on bass, Kim Crawford on guitar & drummer-extraordinaire Jim Johnson) takes the stage promptly at 8 pm, so get out to the show early if you would like to witness the effortless command of a Big Stage that Willie Phoenix has been exhibiting in Columbus for close to 40 years.

Further, Willie's brand-new CD - Captain Psychedelic - will be available for sale at this show for the first time anywhere.  Get 'em while they're hot. 

 

(Incidentally, Pencilstorm's own Ricki C. will be wrangling guitars for Willie & the Soul Underground at this show, reprising a role he began in 1978 and continued up until 1990, when Ricki first met & befriended The Wire - soon to become Watershed - and established a friendship with Colin Gawel that continues to this day.  Willie Phoenix has many times been the glue that binds the Columbus music scene together.)