Can I Talk About Myself This Christmas? - by Colin G.

Folks, If I had time, I'd spin a sweet holiday tale from Christmas past and certainly I've been blessed to have more than my share. But right now, I'm so busy shipping out copies of Superior: The Best of Colin Gawel, practicing for the show at Woodlands on Dec 23rd, trying to sell Colin's Coffee gift cards and lock down AC/DC tickets for Owen's stocking (shhhhh) that I've got to blow off the real reason for the season to focus on the fake side. 

Still, my heart is in the  right place and if you are looking a couple great holiday reads may I suggest clicking here for Scott Carr's story and here for James A. Baumann's story. Wal will have something posted on Xmas Eve and I'm sure Ricki C. has stuff cooking too. Basically, keep checking Pencilstorm. Yes, this heartfelt holiday post has turned into shameless plug for my own website. Ah hell's and jingle bells, let's just make the whole post about me. It's like Gene Simmons has taken over my brain. Or Donald Trump. (Who are very similar if you ask me.) But now I'm getting off track. Where were we? Oh yeah, I remember, back to me.....   

Colin Gawel and the Lonely Bones live @ Woodlands Tavern Wednesday Dec 23rd. 8pm Showtime. FREE! If you have trouble getting out use these magic words, "I have to step out and do some last minute shopping. It's a surprise." Doors 7 pm - show at 8pm.

Also- Rick Kinsinger and myself will be performing on WCBE 90.5 on Wednesday Dec 23rd around the 2 o'clock hour. Tune in to hear us play some tunes and chat with Maggie Brennan. Click here to hear it streaming.

Superior- The Best of Colin Gawel will be available at the show. The Kickstarter pre-orders have been shipped (Thank you!) and it should start showing up on Spotify / I-Tunes and the like very soon. Once we hit the New Year we will figure where else to sell it. But right now it's only available at the coffee shop or at the gig.  

Anyway, I hope everybody has a great Holiday and I really appreciate all the people who write for and read Pencilstorm. It brings me much joy on these dark lonely mornings at the coffee shop. Thanks to all. X O X O - Colin

Read about ME it in this month's 614 Magazine

Listen to my longest interview ever In The Record Store

Cheap Trick finally got into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Click here to hear an interview with myself about the subject.

The title song to Colin Gawel and the Lonely Bones' December 2010 release. We shot the video at the "Still Love Christmas" release party at Rumba Cafe in Columbus, OH. COLINGAWEL.com

How The Kinks Captured the Reason for the Season - by James A. Baumann

Holiday music is one of those things that is truly difficult to judge on its own merits. So much of the experience of hearing it is framed around setting and context. And, when you consider that much of the setting and context of holiday music – at least in today’s America – is based around the retail experience, well, it’s fighting an uphill battle from the get-go.

This concept first began to settle in my mind around 1990. If memory serves, that was the first Christmas that I worked at a family-owned flower shop, doing deliveries, handling shipments, and cleaning out the backroom. The money was good and needed. But it also meant weeks of driving on icy streets, frozen fingers and toes, and 12-hour-long working days; during most of which I was surrounded by Christmas music. 

When I was out in the delivery van I had free reign to listen to whatever I wanted. I made good use of the radio’s volume knob as well as the Sony Walkman and scattered tapes that sat on the passenger seat. But when I was in the store, I was at the mercy of what was playing.

The store was too small to splurge on a Muzak system, so the playlist was about three cassettes that would continually play through tinny speakers. From time to time someone would remember to switch them out, but when things were busy one tape would just play through again and again. It should be noted that this was also about the time that the world discovered that you could program dog barks to sound like “Jingle Bells.” It would have been like the music they play to break up hostage situations except I wasn’t allowed to leave.

Flash-forward to 2002 or 2003. I’m in the middle of my first day-to-day office job that would eventually be capped off by that corporate tradition of the lay-off. Before that, though, I also had to navigate the corporate tradition of office holiday decorations and – as most germane to this topic – the holiday-music-obsessed co-worker. Her name was Megan. She was smart, fun, nice, and really was about all one could ask for in an officemate save for the fact that, starting at Thanksgiving, her radio was locked-in to the Columbus radio station Sunny 95 and their all-Christmas music format. Headphones could only block so much. I quickly needed a coping mechanism.

I took my inspiration from Steve McQueen in “The Great Escape” who passed his time in isolation by bouncing a ball and counting the days with tally marks on the wall. I commandeered an erasable white board and began my own count of how many times particular songs were played. It quickly began to fill up with the more popular titles and rows of hash marks.

Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” had to have been the tote board leader. Needless to say, I never again have to hear the Boss asking me if I’ve been good this year. Close behind was probably Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” which – particularly after it being drummed into your head for a month straight – comes dangerously close to undoing all goodwill he had ever built up with the Beatles. I’m sure I was inundated by the Mariah Carey song, though I swear I can’t think of a note of it right now.

I suppose a highlight would have been when David Bowie and Bing Crosby’s “Little Drummer Boy” would come up on the playlist, but mostly because it was as though David Lynch had been given control of the holiday for a moment.

All of this may lead one to think I am opposed to all holiday music. That is not true. Year after year, I would get misty during Darlene Love’s annual appearance on Letterman to sing  “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home).” The Pretenders’ “2000 Miles” is stirring. Who doesn’t like John Lennon’s “Merry Xmas (War Is Over)?” “Fairytale of New York” remains a poetic short story with backing music. And, at the risk of sounding like a Pencilstorm suck-up, I will comfortably put Watershed’s “Still Love Christmas,” with its sleigh bells and Casio keyboards, in this neighborhood. 

This all brings me to The Kinks’ “Father Christmas,” my unquestioned favorite holiday song. There are several reasons for this, not the least of which is it rocks with the buzzsaw guitar and thunderstorm drums that kicks it off. Plus, there is the added benefit that, due to the face-value of its lyrical content, it rarely, if ever, makes it onto any piped-in holiday music set. It remains pure and unsullied in my mind.

One might deem me a Scrooge for loving a song that denies the existence of Santa within the first 20 words, but stick with it. The protagonist still revels in his childhood presents and, once he reaches adulthood, even takes the time to be a Salvation Army Santa in his neighborhood.

Granted, he is promptly mugged by a group of street urchins who profess their need for cold, hard cash versus typical playthings. But could a Kinks’ Christmas song have any other sentiment? 

This is Ray Davies’ England after the Village Green was paved over and Muswell Hill was flattened. Even still, he never looses the true spirit of the season. The threats and complaints of the kids are bookended between blissful memories of his childhood Christmas and then gentle, adult reminder that, even if you’re doing pretty good this year, there is someone out there who isn’t. 

Probably someone forced to listen to those dogs barking “Jingle Bells.” - James A. Baumann


THE KINKS – FATHER CHRISTMAS  (video below)

When I was small I believed in Santa Claus
Though I knew it was my dad
And I would hang up my stocking at Christmas
Open my presents and I'd be glad

But the last time I played Father Christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor

They said
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

Don't give my brother a Steve Austin outfit
Don't give my sister a cuddly toy
We don't want a jigsaw or Monopoly money
We only want the real McCoy

Father Christmas, give us some money
We'll beat you up if you make us annoyed
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys

But give my daddy a job 'cause he needs one
He's got lots of mouths to feed
But if you've got one I'll have a machine gun
So I can scare all the kids on the street

Father Christmas, give us some money
We got no time for your silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

Have yourself a merry merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember the kids who got nothin'
While you're drinkin' down your wine

Father Christmas, give us some money
We got no time for your silly toys
Father Christmas, please hand it over
We'll beat you up so don't make us annoyed

Father Christmas, give us some money
We got no time for your silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

The Kinks (Ray Davies) on German TV in 1977 "father Christmas"....Father Christmas, give us some money Don't mess around with those silly toys.

One of the best Christmas songs EVER !!! ******************************************************* When I was small I believed in Santa Claus Though I knew it was my dad And I would hang up my stocking at Christmas Open my presents and I'd be glad But the last time I played Father Christmas I stood outside a department store A gang of kids came over and mugged me And knocked my reindeer to the floor They said: Father Christmas, give us some money Don't mess around with those silly toys.


Christmas Music, Pencilstorm-Style, part one: Christmas Is The Time To Say "I Love You" - by Scott Carr

Today begins Pencilstorm's contributors' take on Holiday Music: various of our regular scribes will be presenting their choices of their favorite Christmas tunes, along with a (hopefully) heartwarming Christmas memory to go along with their choice.  (We don't know exactly which contributors, because nobody seems to know how to meet a friggin' deadline around here, and the egg nog is flowing a little more freely around the offices than we might like, if you get my drift.)  (Even Ricki C. has been dumping Southern Comfort in the punch-bowl, and we didn't even think he DRANK anymore.)  Anyway: here's part one - Scott Carr's take on Billy Squier. 

When Colin G. asked the Pencil Storm staff to write a little something about a favorite Christmas memory and tag it with a song, many ideas went through my mind, as Christmas is my favorite time of year and there are a lot of great memories to choose from.

I narrowed it down to the Christmas of 1981. That was the Christmas that I got my first real guitar. My parents bought me a Gibson RD Artist and it was a total surprise to me. I had been desperately wanting this guitar and would make regular visits to the local music store and stare at it for what must have been hours. My mom told me that they couldn't afford to get me a guitar that year because they were buying my older brother Tim a Gibson Les Paul.  Tim was six years older than me, was beginning to play clubs and my parents felt like he really needed a nice guitar. Plus he had proved that he was dedicated to his instrument and was going to stick with it. Although I was disappointed, I was really happy that my big brother was getting a kick- ass guitar, that he might occasionally let me play. The thing I didn't know was that my mother was being really sneaky and had told my brother the same story: that he wasn't getting a guitar that year because he already had a decent guitar and I didn't have one at all, so they were getting me that glorious Gibson RD Artist. We were both sworn to secrecy to not tell. So we were both a little disappointed but excited to know that the other was getting a new guitar. In the end we both got new guitars, mom's plan worked beautifully.

So, that ranks as the coolest Christmas memory ever for me. 

1981 was also the year that MTV premiered and I think we were the first house on the street to get it. I was obsessed with MTV when we first got it. I couldn't wait to get home from school everyday, turn on the TV and watch hours of music videos. And this was back when all they showed was music videos, if you can believe there was such a time. That December MTV premiered the Billy Squier video for "Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You" and it featured the whole cast and crew from MTV along with Billy having a jolly good time in the MTV studio. Squier's Don't Say No album had been released earlier that year and "Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love you" was the B-side of the album's fourth single "My Kinda Lover." The song would later be released as an A-side with "White Christmas" on the B-side. Don't Say No was one of my favorite albums of 1981 and Squier's Christmas tune instantly clicked with me. I generally love Christmas songs that rock and Squier delivered one that did just that. Every time I hear "Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You" I am instantly transported back to 1981 and it brings back the memories of what I would say was the best Christmas ever.....

Check out the video below..........hey.....did anyone notice J.J. Jackson is wearing a Cheap Trick T-shirt?!?!?!!!!

                                      Me with the glorious Gibson RD Artist.

                                      Me with the glorious Gibson RD Artist.

resized

This classic 1981 MTV ident was animated by Manhattan Design.

There's No Retiring In Rock N Roll

by Pencilstorm Contributor: Wal Ozello

Recently it was reported the god-like percussionist and drummer Neil Peart of Rush  was retiring from playing music.

You don't "retire" from rock n roll. 

You quit the band... go on hiatus... take an indefinite break from recording... stop touring... stop to focus on personal things... you fade away... but you don't retire.

"Retiring" is for us deadbeats... for someone who's a working man. Who's up at seven and is working all the time. Somebody punching the clock, counting the days until he doesn't have to work this soul sucking job any longer. Retiring is not for rock stars.

Rock N Roll is a religion and rock stars are our idols. We worship you. You're in it for life. Just like a priest never stops being a priest, you never stop being a rock star.

Sure... I get that Neil's been running a two hour marathon every night for the past 40 plus years of his life.  But do you really think he's going to never pick up a pair of sticks again? Do you really think the only time he's going to play the drum break in Tom Sawyer is when it comes on his car radio and bang it out on his dashboard?

Listen... I get it. Neil's 63 and I'm sure he's getting tired of all of this. But we aren't. No one can do the stuff he does, write the music he comes up with, and play the drums the way he you can. Trust me... I played in a band with a virtuoso drummer. We covered dozens of Rush songs and while my drummer got to near perfection on just about every beat... it wasn't as dead on balls accurate as Neil.

Neil can't retire. He won't be able to. It's in his blood to create awesome music in a way no other can. Without him the world is a different place. 

Take your break, Neil. Six... Nine... twelve months or so. But get your ass back in the limelight, soon. You've been given a gift beyond price. Use the talents that were given to you and none of us.  You were born to rock and we want to listen.

In the meantime... here's a live version of my favorite Rush tune.  (Kind of ironic that a vocalist likes their instrumental song, huh?)

Wal Ozello is a science fiction techno-thriller novelist and the author of Assignment 1989 ,  Revolution 1990, and Sacrifice 2086. He's the lead singer of the former Columbus rock band Armada and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Colin's Longest Interview Ever: "Watershed Moments: In The Record Store Podcast"

Sure, if you wanted to learn more than you ever needed to know about Colin and Watershed you could read the book Hitless Wonder. But that's soooo 2013. Reading, schmeading....fire up those earbuds, hit the treadmill and/or crack a can of 4-String and enjoy a full 82 minute interview with Colin on the fabulous podcast In The Record Store. Colin talks about his new "Best Of" record, Watershed, the Insane Clown Posse, Jim Tressel and much more. Dig it. Also make sure to pick up the latest 614 Mag, listen to Colin on CD1025 this Saturday at midnight for the Andymanathon, and see ya at Woodland's Dec 23rd at 8pm for the release show. And on WCBE 90.5 Dec 23rd at 2pm. Whew.

Click here for episode #22 of In the Record Store Featuring Colin Gawel of Watershed