5150 Never Helped Me With the Ladies, But It Is Still My Favorite Van Halen Record - by Colin Gawel

Part One:

Somewhere along the way, it became very easy to slag Sammy Hagar. Sure, he ventures too close to Bon Jovi territory for comfort. And sure, the whole "Red Rocker," "VOA" and "Mos Tequilla" thing reeks of corporate marketing and Gene Simmons-type condescension but... taken in the context of the times, minor infractions indeed. What's maybe most offensive about Sammy is how successful and well-adjusted he is. It's just plain annoying that one man can have it all and enjoy it so much. But I digress, allow me to take a moment and give Sammy Hagar some credit where credit is long overdue. At least among my peers. A couple pro Hagar thoughts.

 

- One record EVERYBODY agrees is amazing is the debut Montrose record. Prog-rockers, metal heads, dandy hipsters and punks can all dig on Bad Motor Scooter and Space Station #5. Guess who sang lead and wrote most the lyrics on that? Our pal Sammy. Ever notice Ronnie Montrose never did anything after Sammy took his talents to mountain biking?

- And if you could afford it, Sammy's booze was life-changing. Hell,  I thought gagging and holding your nose was just part of the tequila experience until some folks bought us some Cabo Wabo at a club in Marquette, MI. I remember my first sip like seeing KISS for the first time on the Paul Lynn Halloween special. "Wait a minute, tequila can actually taste good?" ($90 a bottle though)

- Dude could write a mean power-pop hook. Sure, he was dolled up as the Red Rocker, but songs like "I've Done Everything For You," "Two Sides of Love" and "I'll Fall in Love Again" are songs Hall & Oates can only dream of and Nick Lowe surely cranks up with a fat J late at night on occasion. Dig this.. (editor's note: Colin, the next time you mention Nick Lowe and Sammy Hagar in the same breath and/or sentence, sanctions WILL be imposed.)

Sammy Hagar - I've done everything for you 1980 Well, this one way love affair, it ain't fair It ain't no kind of fair to me It's all give and take, and you just take And I can't take it, you see And I'm givin' up on love this time

--- And when, after a decade of struggling to find an audience his career shifted into - ahem - high gear on the strength of "I Can't Drive 55," Sammy left his deal, and took a pay cut to join Van Halen.

Let that sink in for a minute. Sammy Hagar walked away from a platinum record to follow a frontman who was considered impossible to follow. In his excellent memoir, RED, Sammy recounts his label boss David Geffen telling him, "Let me get this straight, you are going to break your contract with me, go from getting paid as a solo artist, selling out arenas, to join a band taking the place of David Lee Roth and getting a 1/4 split of everything?" Sammy also went from 100% of publishing to 25% share in V.H. That might be the literal definition of putting your money where your mouth is. Oh, he also insisted the band keep the name Van Halen even though Diamond Dave had left and there was big pressure for a change to be made.  

Sammy said, "I'll give it all up and sign everything away to play in this band. We are that good." David Geffen, for all his faults, deserves credit for basically tearing up Sammy's deal and allowing him to sign with Van Halen and Warner Brothers. Paraphrasing...."I would never stand in the way of an artist who felt that strongly, even though I disagreed. I let him go and asked for one more solo release to complete the deal. I could have held out for a piece of Van Halen, but I didn't." 

OK, before all you Diamond Dave followers start barfing at the thought of Sammy taking over, let's take a long hard look at what Van Halen had become by this time. 

I know it hurts to say it, but V.H. was running on fumes by 1984. Sure, the band could still rock it live, but between the song Jump and Dave doing his Just a Gigolo and California Girls thing and it was getting kinda lame. And when my little sister put up a smiling Eddie Van Halen poster on her wall, Van Halen were officially NOT COOL. I even traded my copy of 1984 for Steve Miller's Greatest Hits with a kid down the street. Sure, I'd miss Drop Dead Legs, but I could watch Van Halen anytime on MTV and The Stake was kind of groovy. 

Doubt me? watch this..

David Lee Roth - Just a gigolo from Crazy from the heat.

Part Two:

Enter Sammy Hagar the spring before my senior year of high school. I bought my copy of 5150 on both album AND cassette. Why both? Well duh, I had to mow the lawn right when I got home from Buzzard's Nest and I couldn't wait that long to crank up the new tunes. And mind you, at this point in time, earbuds were just a gleam in some future nerd's Dad's eye. I had to CRANK that SONY Walkman past 11 to Pete Townshend headphone levels to hear the music above the noise of our green Lawn Boy. And crank I did. From the first notes of "Good Enough" to the final strains of "Inside," 5150 became the official record of my senior year of high school. If you drove past my Pinto, Summer Nights was coming at you. I wanted the best of both worlds. Whatever those worlds were. Biggie and I even willed 5150 to each other in our senior yearbook. If that's not rock n roll, I don't know what is. Though in full disclosure, despite it's promises, Van Hagar didn't seem to do it for my stalled romantic life. Love never walked in. I only beat out one infield hit to reach "first base" my entire senior year. One goddamn hit. Goes to show a Red Rocker may never be a Gigolo, but as long I had the beer and rock n roll, I could make do without the sex. Though the following Van Hagar records slowly declined in both novelty and quality, I still have a copy of Van Halen 5150 in my 1999 model car today. And yes, it's a cassette. And yes, it's still my favorite Van Halen Record. - Colin G.

Yeah , you heard him, Colin Gawel likes 5150 better than any other Van Halen record. He plays in Watershed and The League Bowlers and founded Pencilstorm while standing behind the counter at Colin's Coffee.  

Released in 1986, 5150 (pronounced "fifty-one-fifty") is the seventh studio album by American Hard Rock band Van Halen. The album was the first to be recorded with new lead singer Sammy Hagar who replaced David Lee Roth.

 Hidden Track: 

Just because 5150 is my favorite Van Halen record doesn't make it the best Van Halen record. I'm just one dude who liked to crank Get Up cruising to his job at Bill Knapps in high school. If forced to argue the best Van Halen records I suppose I would say:

#1 - Van Halen - Groundbreaking, mind-blowing debut. Musicality smashes head on into showmanship. Like Queen on piles of blow.

#2 - Van Halen II - Proves they are no one hit wonder and Dance the Night Away is a pop gem

#3 - 5150 - Replacing a frontman such as David Lee Roth is a historic achievement and the single Why Can't This Be Love is perhaps the strongest single in the Van Halen catalog. 

#4 All the David Lee Roth Van Halen records. Except that new one. And that awful Live in Tokyo disaster. Gawd.

In fact, hold on.... watch this..

Jun. 21st , 2013 Live at TOKYO DOME , Japan

In fact, that is so bad, I should have led the story with it. I buried the lead. 

#5 All the other Van Hagar records. I like OU812 and Unlawful fine. Some fat, but some good tunes too. 

#6 That one where the guy from Loverboy sang. Or was it Don Dokken... whatever. 

But forget best. What Van Halen records am I going to play in my driveway today? Right here, right now?  I'm writing this on the 4th of July. Yes, I'm a loser but I just read the excellent Van Halen Rising by Greg Renoff and the less excellent but still fun Running With the Devil by Noel Monk and I've got V.H. on my mind. And the driveway will rock. . 

I am now going to listen to Van Halen in this order. 

5150 and then Van Halen II (light the grill) and then... Diver Down...(put brats on) and then Fair Warning and then Van Halen I (take off burnt brats and throw in the trash, put on more brats) and then that one new song Tattoo and then Hot For Teacher and then Poundcake and the new Cheap Trick record.

Colin Gawel really did write this on the 4th of July. Flag. 

Censorship at Comfest: Noble or Treasonous? - by Pete Vogel

On Saturday, June 24th, a band by the name of Chickenhawk Birdgetters took the stage at the I Wish You Jazz stage at ComFest. They bill themselves as a “Jazz Offensive” and planned a “ComFest Offensive” for their 7pm performance.  Chickenhawk Birdgetters have a vision for creating jazz music that “is dangerous once more.”  They want to remove the shirt-and-tie formality of the genre and “give it a black eye.”  They planned on playing “Fuck tha Police” by N.W.A. (Niggaz Wit Attitudes) and improvise their own version of the tune.  Somehow word got to ComFest officials - and Columbus police - that the band was going to perform the song and they stepped in: They politely asked the band to refrain from playing it because they were fearful it would “incite a riot.”  Here are some of the lyrics to “Fuck tha Police:”

         Fuck that shit cause I ain’t the one / For a punk motherfucker with a badge and a gun / Ice Cube will swarm on any motherfucker in a blue uniform / A young nigga on the warpath / And when I finish it’s gonna be a bloodbath / Of cops dying in LA.


You get the gist: I listened to all 5:45 of it and it had over 90 curse words and threatened violence on cops four different times.  To perform a jazz improv rendition doesn’t mean the band was going to perform the song verbatim, but the message was pretty clear: this was a provocative piece that would definitely raise eyebrows.

As a musician, I’d normally side with the artist and claim he/she has the right to perform whatever song they desire.  But after learning the band’s intentions - and hearing the song in question - I actually sided with the police and ComFest officials on this one.  This song, quite frankly, is in poor taste and isn’t a good fit for an open-air, free festival where ages range between 7 and 70.  It’s also an affront to law enforcement everywhere: I am friends with several cops and they’d take offense to hearing this song played at a community festival.  I had no problem with ComFest officials - and Columbus police - pulling the plug on this tune.  

Granted, there’s so much more to the story and I wasn’t present at the show: I’ve heard all of this second-hand.  The narrative has changed a lot the past three days as well: rumors circulated that the band was actually threatened by cops - and Comfest officials - and I’m not always sure who, or what, to believe.  But I think the deeper question is this: Is censoring this type of music a noble act or treason?

Censorship used to carry an air of rarified dignity with it.  I often think of Rushdie’s exile from Iran after writing The Satanic Verses or Kurt Vonnegut raising ire after penning Slaughterhouse Five.  But in today’s climate, I’m not sure if people truly feel the sting of censorship anymore.  We all have the freedom to voice our thoughts, opinions and art any way we want, any time we want, with little fear of reprisal.  Sadly, we suffer from the opposite problem: we clearly lack the ability to censor ourselves, even when we should.  In this 24/7, wild-west of social media, it’s not uncommon to take 29 pictures of our Cobb Salad when only one will do.  [Or post too many cat videos.]  Self-censoring is a welcome blessing in this regard.  

Chickenhawk Birdgetters deciding to cover a hateful song about cop violence is simply not appropriate at an all-ages festival.  And they shouldn’t have cried foul when the plug was pulled on them.  Granted, there is a time and place for this type of music, and I’m not condemning the artists for creating it.  But ComFest isn’t it.  I wouldn’t walk into a church and play Nine Inch Nails: it’s in poor taste.  I wouldn’t attend a children’s birthday party and play “Lick it Up”: it’s inappropriate.  Artists have a responsibility to their audience and not the other way around.  I think we’ve lost sight of that.

ComFest officials politely asked the band to censor themselves and not play a tune that could incite violence.  They refused.  Instead, they told ComFest officials that they wanted ComFest to admit “they were censoring a band.”  The band wanted to pin themselves as victims: percussionist Joey Gurwin even put duct tape over his mouth to prove the point.  

Of course, this warrants more questions than answers.  To my knowledge, ComFest has never censored a band in the 40-plus-year history of the event.  No band has ever had to provide setlists or even discuss their sets with officials.  So how did the police and ComFest folks even learn of this?  

After giving it some thought, I came upon a possible conclusion: the “leak” was intentional.  Someone in their camp got word out about their N.W.A. selection and ComFest officials - and police - responded accordingly.  But why would a local band cause such a commotion in the first place?  One word: Publicity.  [Call it “The Trump Effect”—it obviously works.]  The band wanted to earn free publicity - and become heroes in the process - by becoming the first band to ever be censored by ComFest.  It worked: an article was written about them in Columbus Alive, one of the organizers resigned and they have blown up the Internet the past four days.  

It was a publicity stunt.

In this new era of publicity-at-all-costs - led by our Executive-in-Tweet - it’s no wonder that people are divided over this issue.  But there is nothing treasonous about pulling the plug on such a hateful song as “Fuck tha Police.”  To stand in front of a microphone and shout “motherfucker” at a bunch of ten-year-olds isn’t noble, it’s stupid.  In my mind the ComFest Committee - and Columbus Police - got it right: they pulled the plug on an act that wasn’t willing to censor themselves.  When artists don’t have the temerity to govern themselves for the well-being of the community, then others must step in and do it for them.  Well done.

 

Pete Vogel is a drummer, musician, teacher, movie director and many other things. Click here to visit his website. 

Listen to Colin on The One You Feed Podcast. Happy Father's Day!

As I mentioned in the recently published story "Got Any Gigs, Yes i Do", I was honored to be a guest on the acclaimed The One You Feed podcast. It posted this week just in time for Father's Day. The interview is a little different as though we talk about songs such as "Dad Can't Help You Now" and "Words We Say", we touch on parenting, addiction and many other non rock n roll subjects. It might be the first interview I've ever done where Cheap Trick isn't mentioned once.  Please give it a listen and support the show. - Colin G.

Click here for The One You Feed Podcast Episode 182 - Colin Gawel   

Official music video for Colin Gawel's "Dad Can't Help You Now." The single is available on "Superior: The Best of Colin Gawel" released by Mike Landolt's Curry House Records. More at www.colingawel.com. Video directed by Wal Ozello, produced by Maria Clark, director of photography Alex Williams, edited and visual effects by Eric "Bing" Ringquist, and features Sam Ozello and Tim Baldwin.

"I Wish Sgt. Pepper NEVER Taught The Band To Play" - by Ricki C.

“June 1st, ’67, something died and went to heaven / I wish Sgt. Pepper NEVER taught the band to play”
- from “Who Will Save Rock & Roll?” / The Dictators / written by Adny Shernoff

Obviously we at Pencilstorm should have run this blog entry on June 1st – the 50th anniversary of the release of the Beatles’ Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band release – but we didn’t, so now we’re gonna run it a coupla weeks late.  Whattya think this is, Pitchfork?

I was 14 years old on June 1st, 1967, and I think that even as a child I was somehow fleetingly aware that the Sgt Pepper’s record was going to have an adverse effect on my beloved rock & roll.  First off, I was a singles boy: I believed in 45 revolutions per minute.  I believed then as I believe now that a hit single with a GREAT non-LP b-side was rock & roll’s most perfect form of expression, something that “concept albums” – as Sgt. Pepper’s and its descendants (and I DO mean DE-cendants) came to be known.  Put simply: The Rolling Stones single “19th Nervous Breakdown” b/w “Sad Day”; The Who’s  “Pictures Of Lily” b/w “Doctor Doctor”; and/or The Doors “Light My Fire” b/w “We Could Be So Good Together” (to choose just three out of possibly FIFTY others if I took the time to go through my 60’s singles collection) were INFINITELY more exciting (and a better value, at 59 cents as opposed to $3.68 albums) than Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Let’s face facts, there are at least three flat-out unlistenable songs on Sgt. Pepper’s (and I would challenge even such an authority on all things Beatles as Joe Peppercorn to refute this): George Harrison’s “Within You Without You,” and Lennon & McCartney’s oh-so-preciously groovy/psychedelic & overblown “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” and “Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite!”  “She’s Leaving Home” is McCartney treacle that wouldn’t have even been considered for inclusion on Revolver or Rubber Soul and “When I’m 64” is the kind of English music-hall ephemera that Ray Davies of The Kinks carried off better in his sleep, when he wasn’t half trying.  (I believe Colin may be making a point very much like that one in a blog post later in the week.)

So that leaves the Sgt. Pepper’s “theme song” segueing into “With A Little Help From My Friends” (done better by Joe Cocker & the Grease Band, incidentally, for those of you scoring at home), “Getting Better,” “Fixing a Hole,” “Good Morning Good Morning,” and the Sgt Pepper’s reprise as six pretty good pop songs and “Lovely Rita” and “A Day In The Life” as two quintessentially great Beatles songs. 

Huh, I guess those last two would’ve made a snappy little 45 rpm single with a non-LP b-side.          

I’m bringing this blog entry in under 600 words with the following contention/bellyaching/assertion: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band forever killed off the 45 rpm single that I believe was the lifeblood of rock & roll.  I understand that people like Jann Wenner DESPERATELY wanted rock & roll to progress beyond its simple, hummable, humble beginnings: I do NOT understand that they wanted rock & roll to become PONDEROUS, BLOATED, PRETENTIOUS “rock music” in the process. 

I do not understand how (or why) FUN became removed from the rock & roll equation.

Thank God that the Rolling Stones woke up from “Their Satanic Majesties Request” and ROARED back with “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.”

Thank God.  – Ricki C. / June 13th, 2017
 

Got Any Gigs? Yes, I Do - by Colin Gawel

"Got any gigs?" is a question I get quite often at Colin's Coffee. The following should get everybody caught up for the summer of 2017. Any help spreading the word is always appreciated.  And thanks for reading Pencilstorm. - Colin 

June

Dad Can't Help You Now

I have been working the song/video "Dad Can't Help You Now" leading up to Father's Day. It has been sent to about 80 radio stations / online programs and blogs. If you would like to help, the following link has the video, press and the song. Just cut and paste and pass along to somebody who might enjoy it. Click here for Dad Can't Help You Now promo page. 

Also, I will be taping an episode with Eric Zimmer and his acclaimed podcast The One You Feed on Friday June 9th. It should air sometime around Father's Day. I'll keep you posted. 

Watershed Returns (but don't call it a comeback)

Biggie is getting the van washed and waxed and we will be playing a couple of shows towards the end of June. We have a new record in the works, but no plans for release at this point.

Thursday June 22nd Beachland Ballroom - Cleveland. Click here for details.

Friday June 23rd Frankie's Toledo, OH  Click here for details.

Saturday June 24th Watershed returns to Comfest! Goodale Park - Main stage 6:30 pm

And some more fun stuff:

Tune into the CD1025 the week of June 19th as Brian Phillips will be spinning a Watershed twofer at 8:30am every morning to get you primed for the Comfest show.

Pencilstorm.com will be re-running the complete Watershed song rankings by Nick Jezierny for a week starting Sunday, June 18th.

Watershed will be hanging out at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Friday, June 23rd. Meet us in the lobby at 1 pm if you want to join in. 

And last but not least - we will be having a post-Comfest party featuring a Watershed / Willie Phoenix mix at Little Rock Bar from 9 pm until??? (editor's note: Willie's mighty Soul Underground follows Watershed on the Main (Bozo) Stage at Comfest at 8 pm or so. You've gotta stay for that, then head over to Little Rock for some rock & brews.) It's walking distance from Goodale Park and has a rooftop bar. Drop by and say Hello.

July

The League Bowlers are playing the Ohio State Fair!

Yup. Fire up a lemon squeeze and some Tom Thumb donuts and come out to the Ohio State Fair Wednesday, July 26rd for McGuffey Lane, The League Bowlers and Erica Blinn. The show is free with fair admission and being held in the Celeste Center - which seats about 10,000 people - so I suspect you might be able to find a spot in the grandstand. Click here for the League Bowlers facebook page. 

August

Remember that band Colin Gawel and The Lonely Bones? The one that did that "Superior" song everybody loved so much? They have sort of been on the back burner with Herb and Rick tied up with Watershed and Dan tied up with the Bowlers and Four String Brew. However, we will be playing the Fashion Meets Music Festival  Saturday, August 19th at Fortress Obetz. It's going to be a blast. Click here for details. 

And to top it all off, The League Bowlers will be opening for our personal heroes The Yayhoos at the Rumba Cafe Wednesday, August 23rd. Click here for more info. 

And to top off the top off, The League Bowlers are playing the Ox Roast in Grandview Friday, September 8th. It will be held at Pierce Field. Click here for details. 

Bonus gig: Rumor has it Watershed will be playing another festival the weekend of September 16-17th. 

Whew. There you go. Hope to see you sometime. - Colin