Ranking the Best VH Songs! Pencilstorm Goes on Spring Break to Cabo Wabo! - by Jeff Hassler

HEY GUYS!! Hassler here. I'm super stoked for Spring Break this year. Got the whole week off from Nationwide and I am totally single and totally ready to mingle. The Pencilstorm offices are going to be closed March 13th-22 so if you start jonesing for Pencilstorm hit our archives page and type in a word like Bon Jovi or Hassler. 

Colin and Ricki are totally burned out so they asked me to post something before we fly out tomorrow. I got a voice mail late last night, "Hassler, can you post something about how Pencilstorm is on vacation for a few days? Please don't do anything embarrassing." I know the guys love ranking songs by bands like KISS or Cheap Trick so I thought I would chip in with the TEN Best VH songs. You know, V H = Van Halen.  And the whole gang is headed to Cabo Wabo anyway... Just Sayin!

Hassler's 10 Best VH Songs! 

#10 - Running With The Devil - This is the only song I ever mastered after three years of bass lessons in high school. My ex-wife Kim said it was the first thing that attracted her to me when we played it at the Worthington High School talent show.

#9 - Beautiful Girls - I remember being on spring break in Panama City when I was in college and they would always play this at Club LaVela during the wet t-shirt contest. I tried to talk Kim into entering and the one time she did she WON! I missed it though. Had one too many "shark salutes" the night before and couldn't answer the bell if you know what I mean. (Ha!) What are the odds the one time I don't go she decides to dance? It was nice of those guys from the Auburn wrestling team to let her crash at their place that night too. Southern gentlemen no doubt.

#8 - Best of Both Worlds - When Kim had that job selling beers in the parking lot of the Varsity Club on game days and I would come visit her before going to see kick-off this song would play and I knew I truly had the "Best of Both Worlds." And Bobby Olive made THE CATCH.
 

#7 - Ice Cream Man - I've always been a big fan of interesting lyrics like from Rush and Bon Jovi but this one is cool because it's not just Ice Cream that Dave is talking about. Give it another listen if you missed it.

#6 - Summer Nights  - Come on! A stone cold classic. Reminds me of Thunder Road.

#5 - Feels So Good - The guys give me a hard time about it but OU812 is the best VH album. Case closed. 

#4 - Right Here Right Now - Think about it. Seriously. Live in the moment. One time I tried to do a Hot Yoga class with Kim and it got really hot. Like super hot.  We were supposed to have a mantra so I kept saying to myself Right Here Right Now. I guess I got a little carried away because Kim started telling me to be quiet but I was in the zone. I was sweating so many toxins out and so in the zone that I sorta got sick right then and right now. Kim was sweet to help me clean it up. 

#3 TIE!!!!!! Love Walks In AND When It's Love. Kim and I danced to Love Walks In at our wedding but When It's Love was always "our video." I'm sorta glad MTV doesn't play videos anymore. The thought of Kim watching this with Chad makes me nauseous. Like hot yoga. 

#2 - Jump - Well. duh!

#1 - Cabo Wabo - I'm kind of new to this tune as when Kim and I were having some trouble my attorney insisted I stay away from triggers so I would pass the mandatory blood test. But now that I am single and ready to mix it up I FELL IN LOVE with this song. And the Pencilstorm staff is going to CABO. I'm so stoked for the trip I made a fan video to get everybody pumped up. This one is for Wal and Scott! 

Sorry you guys won't have any new Pencilstorm stuff for a week but I'll do a shot of Cabo for you. I hope it isn't too expensive. Hassler is out. 

Check Out the Video I made!!!! - Hassler.

MINHA VIBE !

KISS Master Blaster - My KISS Record by Colin Gawel

Eddie Trunk recently released a cool list of his top twenty KISS songs. But just before that moment, Pencilstorm held a fantasy draft of songs from the KISS Unmasked era. Now that is something never attempted by mankind. Some might say it put the X in the Xtreme and even Exposed the Extreme.  Click here for the full results of the draft . Below is the album selected by Colin Gawel. More albums from other owners coming soon. Enjoy!

KISS Master Blaster  

Produced by Colin Gawel with permission of the Pencilstorm Unmasked KISS Fantasy Draft. Number next to song indicates the round it was taken. 

Side One

Crazy Crazy Nights (5)

Hide Your Heart (2)

Hell or High Water (4)

Read My Body (12)

Forever (7)

Thief in the Night (9)

Side Two

Thou Shall Not (3)

Tears Are Falling (1)

I’m Alive (10)

Let’s Put The X in Sex (8)

Secretly Cruel (6)

The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away (11)

Thoughts on side one:

Crazy Crazy Nights (Crazy Nights) - I was hoping to land Unholy and Heart of Chrome but unfortunately lost both to draft lottery winner Matt Walters. By round five I was backed into a corner and really needed a song to lead off my album. Maybe it’s just force of habit but it’s hard to imagine a song that didn’t lead off a side of a real KISS record leading off my fake record. So though never my favorite song or record, I chose Crazy Nights and immediately slotted it to lead off my record. I also thought about naming my record Crazy Crazy Crazy Nights instead of Master Blaster. 

KISS with Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Eric Carr and the great and underrated by "some" Bruce Kulick !!! Budokan Hall Tokyo, Japan April 21 1988 on the successful Crazy Nights World tour .

Hide Your Heart (Hot in the Shade) - As mentioned, I missed out on my first two picks so I pivoted and went with two singles giving me this song in the 2nd round. Though it’s kinda cheesy and the production isn’t great, it’s catchy as hell and I’ve always had a soft spot for it after seeing Paul debut it live on his solo tour at the Newport Music Hall in Columbus, OH. His “COME ON!” is one of my favorite Paul moments.

KISS didn't tour or perform in 1989. Instead, Paul Stanley embarked on his first solo tour, with Eric Singer, Gary Corbett, Dennis St. James, and Bob Kulick ( Bruce Kulick' brother )...

KISS with Bruce Kulick and Eric Carr @ The Palace Of Auburn Hills . Detroit, MI. October 14th 1990

Hell or High Water (Crazy Nights) - After nabbing two Paul songs out of the gate, I knew I had to rally quick and grab some decent Gene tunes before the pickings got slim. Generally speaking, I’m not a fan of Ron Nevison production style but I think it works very well in this instance. Slick, but rocking enough to do the Demon justice. Hearing Paul doing background vox towards the end is a bonus. FAN VIDEO!!!

Read  My Body (Hot in the Shade) Ugh. There just isn’t any place to hide this stinker so in the interest of keeping both sides of my record relatively balanced I’m going to slot it before my big ballad. Bonus points that they modulate and move up a full step before the last chorus like they were cutting Born to Run.  Let's turn the page and get to the good stuff.... FAN VIDEO!!!

Concert footage of KISS edited to the CD track

Forever (Hot in the Shade) - I felt lucky to grab the biggest hit of the Unmasked era in the 7th round. My record may not be the best, but I think it might have been the top selling of the bunch. One thing that became clear to me doing research for this draft is what an unfocused mess HITS is. It’s WAY too long and many songs just don’t sound finished. KISS got very lucky that this song, buried in the middle of 15 songs,  found its way into the pop top ten. In fact, without this surprise hit, KISS wouldn’t have even toured behind this record. What would have happened to the band? KISSstory would have taken a different course without it. Live in Australia with a Symphony and Beck's Dad conducting Peter Criss???? Hells Yeah!

Thief in the Night (Crazy Nights) A fairly forgettable though not awful Gene song to round out side one.

Side Two:

Thou Shall Not (Revenge) I think Revenge and Lick it Up are the best records of the Unmasked era and I got exactly ONE song total from either so I guess I wasn’t alone in that thinking. This song rocks way harder than any other on this record so I’m just going to lead off side two with it. Taking it in the 3rd round I thought I would be able to find some other hard rockers later in the draft but lonely is this hunter. FAN VIDEO!!

Concert footage of KISS edited to the CD track

Off the top of my head: Ranking the Gene songs that lead off a KISS side. As released on real records and not reissues.

1. Deuce 2) Unholy 3) I Love it Loud 4) World Without Heroes 5) Love ‘Em and Leave Em’ 6) That one from Hotter than Hell 7) Charisma

Tears Are Falling (Asylum) A solid first round pick. In fact, listening to it now, it doesn’t really sound like any other KISS song from the era. It’s almost alternative hard rock. The Cult could have put it on the LOVE record and it would have sounded at home. Pretty amazing this was the lead single from an 80’s KISS record. Sublime is a word rarely used to describe a KISS song though I would use it here if it means what I think it means.

Along those lines, Asylum as a whole ages pretty well. Truth be told, before revisiting the entire Unmasked era for this draft, I would have called this my favorite album of that period. It still sounds good and I don’t hate the album art as much as everybody else. And I liked the big KISS sign they used on that tour though not much footage of it exists for whatever reason.

Music video by Kiss performing Tears Are Falling. (C) 1985 The Island Def Jam Music Group

KISS live at the Monsters Of Rock Festival performing Tears Are Falling

Un - Unmasked Live version

Rock the nation tour

I’m Alive (Asylum) - I like this song more now than I did as a young man. Kind of fresh and different. It certainly “kicks” as they say. Too bad Eric Carr didn’t get more of a chance to contribute to the band. I’m sure Gene and Paul were hesitant to unleash another Catman or Vinnie Vincent but seems like they left some potential on the bench with the fox.

Let’s Put the X in Sex (Smashes Thrashes and Hits)  OK. I never planned on having this song for obvious reasons but once staring at my choices in the 8th round I decided it would be way more fun to have the X than not have it. I already had Crazy Nights and Forever so who was I kidding? For all its flaws, it’s kind of groovy. And even better, I own the video rights which you get to enjoy…...right……… NOW!      FYI - this video has 5,617,122 views. More than all the Decemberists videos combined. For what that is worth.

Music video by Kiss performing Let's Put The X In Sex. (C) 1988 Mercury Records

Secretly Cruel (Asylum)  In retrospect this was a reach at six. I was feeling pressure to get enough decent Gene songs and panicked. My pain was eased when Matt Walters showed me the amazing video to this song done by the band Double Virgo. They (He?) takes modern KISS songs and recuts them as if they were recorded for Dressed to Kill. And films a video too. It’s completely amazing and it saves this pick. Enjoy!

When I first got the "Asylum" album in '85, I thought "Secretly Cruel" sounded almost like an old KISS song. So when Sagafoo of sagafoo.com asked me to do a track for his upcoming tribute album, "Got To Foo", I thought I'd take this '80s song back to the '70s.

Geez. I should have called this record Asylum Resurrected. What is my problem ?

The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away (Hot in the Shade) - Some of those late HITS songs are sneaky good. I can live with this in the 11th round.

Summary: Looking at this now. My draft looks like a guy who got drunk and drafted all 1st basemen and closers.

Hot in the Shade  4 songs

Crazy Nights  3 songs

Asylum 3 songs

Revenge 1 song

Smashes 1 - song

Ugh. If you would have told me before the draft this is where my songs would come from I would have assumed a my record only got released on 8 track in Brazil but it’s a testimony to KISS how strong Master Blaster is. I like this record. And now I’m going to crank it up!! 

Colin Gawel plays in Watershed and The League Bowlers. He founded Pencilstorm while working at Colin's Coffee and really thought his idea for the KISS Unmasked Fantasy Draft would make him famous and get him invited VIP to the KISS expo in Indianapolis. He was wrong. None of that happened but his is going to Indy anyway. 

Corona's Covers For a Cure Saturday @ Big Room Bar - by Ricki C.

The second annual Corona’s Covers For a Cure benefit show will take place at CD 102.5’s Big Room Bar this Saturday, March 10th, beginning at 4 pm, and running ‘til eleven (or thereabouts, you know how these multi-band extravaganzas go).  Full details and a rough running order of the local artists performing can be found at Corona’s Covers For a Cure.

The basic premise and set-up of the show is simple, but profound: local Columbus bands & solo rockers play cover songs by bands or solo artists who died of cancer, thereby keeping those songs from being lost to live performance.  This show is really close to my heart.  I first heard about last March’s inaugural show while driving away from one of my sister Dianne’s chemotherapy sessions at the Zangmeister Cancer Center.  That CD 102.5 ad – local artists playing songs lost to cancer – seemed like a perfect fit for me.  “Hey, I know songs by The Velvet Underground,” I said out loud to myself in the car, and when I got home I set about trying to cadge my way onto the bill.  I felt like I owed it to the doctors, nurses & technicians who were caring for Dianne.  

Somewhere along the way Colin’s band The League Bowlers also became involved in the benefit.  The show went great, the guys & girls from Corona were truly friendly & caring and the benefit raised thousands for cancer research.  Colin & I asked if they were going to repeat the benefit in 2018 and the Corona & CD 102.5 crews said they hoped so.  We asked them to keep us in mind for a repeat appearance.

And now comes the downside: in the year that has transpired since that show my sister died of the cancer she was in treatment for when I played that first benefit.  Further, Mike Parks – the genius lead guitarist of The League Bowlers – ALSO died of a cancer that hadn’t even been DIAGNOSED when the Bowlers played the benefit.  (Click here to read Pencilstorm Remembers Mike Parks)

At one point in Colin’s e-mail when he asked me to write this story for Pencilstorm, he used the phrase “if that ain’t evidence that cancer is a mean son of a bitch I don’t know what is.”  (And Colin should know, he lost his beloved mom to cancer more than 20 years ago.)  He’s exactly, precisely right: cancer is a mean son of a bitch and I’m asking you to come out this Saturday to show your support – with your money and your hearts & minds – to fund research to show cancer that we’re meaner sons of bitches than it is.  - Ricki C. / March 8, 2018   
 

The League Bowlers on CD102.5 and Now Available Everywhere

If you have been tuning in or streaming CD1025 lately, you might have noticed a little tune by The League Bowlers slipping into the rotation. That's right, the song "She's My Inspiration" is on the charts with a bullet. You can help by texting: Request League Bowlers to 68683; or tweet @cd1025fm; or go old-school and call 614-221-1025. Our pal Maggie at WCBE has been mixing in some tracks too, so check that out. 

Along those lines, another way you can help is listening to the League Bowlers on Spotify, Youtube, I-Tunes  or wherever you get your music. Put us on your playlist. Share it with a friend. Post on facebook. Request us on Outlaw Country and Underground Garage. Every little bit helps. Thanking you in advance - Colin 

Provided to YouTube by TuneCore She's My Inspiration · The League Bowlers Some Balls (Deluxe) ℗ 2018 B Minus Records Released on: 2018-01-04 Auto-generated by YouTube.

The Pencilstorm Interview: Erica Blinn - by Colin Gawel

It's no secret that we here at Pencilstorm are big fans of Erica Blinn. She is the real deal as a writer, person and player. Do yourself a favor and visit Ericablinn.com for info on her latest record, Better Than Gold. She was kind enough to answer a few of our questions while out on the road supporting the new release. - Colin G.

CG - The old saying is you have your whole life to write your first record and 12 months to write your second. Was it challenging to come up with the material to follow your debut record Lovers in the Dust? 

EB - I was just thinking about that saying the other day! Luckily I had about 36 months to write the second record. I actually think in some ways it was easier this time for two reasons: songwriting does seem to get better/easier with practice, and the more life you’ve experienced/ things you’ve learned the more you have to write about.

CG -  Who were some of the co-writers that helped out with this record? How does that process work for you? 

Van Darien, Caitie Thompson, Will Newsome, K Phillips, and Delyn Christian all helped on some songs.  Co-writing can be hard at first, especially when you don't really know the person you're writing with. For example, when Van Darien and I first met and started working together we would schedule write days and spend most of the time talking and drinking coffee or tea. Then one day we wrote "Better Than Gold".

CG -  Along those lines, as opposed to Lovers, which was recorded over time in Columbus, Ohio, most of Better Than Gold was recorded in bulk in Nashville. How was the process different on this record than before?

EB - This time, the stuff we did in Nashville was all done live as a group with vocals and some percussion over-dubbed. That was very different, and very fun!

CG - Who are some of the players on this record?

The list is enormous. PJ Schreiner: drums, percussion, backing vocals - Michael Zimmerman: bass -Jerry Blinn: bass - Shane Sweeney: bass - Rick Kinsinger: bass - Steven Cooper: lead guitar - Wade Cofer: lead guitar, bass, backing vocals - Andrew Leahey: lead guitar, backing vocals - Will Newsome: lead guitar - Andy Harrison: lead guitar, backing vocals - Michael Talley: keys/organ/piano - Matty Monk: Wurlitzer - Bree Frick: backing vocals - Mark Nye: bass, backing vocals, hand claps - Colin Gawel: backing vocals - Kris Luis: handclaps - Erica Ott: handclaps - Jerry DePizzo: baritone saxophone - Soul Satyr Horns: John Bonham - trumpet, Ted Basinger - trombone, Joe Reasoner - saxophone

CG - You and PJ moved to Nashville a couple of years ago. How has that influenced you both as a person and a musician?

EB - It’s been really great. I think you learn so much when you’re constantly hanging out with people who are doing the same kinds of things as you. It’s maybe like working in an office building and all of these people are part of the team and you can ask them questions about how they are doing things, what seems to be working  what doesn’t, only our office is the city of Nashville. All of our friends are musicians, songwriters, photographers, videographers, graphic designers, producers, engineers, managers, booking agents, etc. You call on each other to be involved with whatever you’re working on. Every day I get to spend time with people who just want to listen to records, play guitar, and talk about songs. Like when you’re learning a new language, if you want to become fluent quickly you should go somewhere where they speak the language and immerse yourself in it.

CG -  How has your relationship with producer Mike Landolt evolved over the years?

EB - We’re friends and business partners and the business part includes all aspects of my career, not just as a producer of the music. I’ve learned a lot from him and we’ve learned some things together.

CG -  Weren't you guys recently visiting him at his studio in Seattle? Did you work out there or just party?

EB - We did recently visit him and his wife Amy at their home/studio. It was my first time out there. It’s a very beautiful place. Any time we hang out with Mike, we are both working and partying. We all like to cook so we made some extraordinary meals together. We also did some work to finalize the release of the new album and we even demoed a new song!

CG - Your Dad, who is also a musician, has had a major influence on your life. Tell us a little about your relationship with him?

EB - He says I have to stop talking about him in interviews. Ha! He’s amazing. He’s everything. I wouldn’t be doing any of this if it weren’t for him.

CG - Where are some of your favorite places to hang out in Nashville?

EB - Our house (our yard/porch when the weather is nice). People are always coming around to jam, talk, or cook dinner. My roommate ALT and I have hosted four impromptu dance parties in our living room/kitchen just this week! The 5 Spot is another favorite place. Always some good music happening there. High Garden Tea is a cool, cozy spot with fermented teas on draft. I like to buy loose leaf tea and herbs there.

CG - You pretty much tour non-stop anyway, but any special plans to promote the new record? Are you making and videos?

EB - We released one video for “Softer Side” and we have a second one, “Suitcases and Truck Stops” being pitched by our amazing publicist Heather West currently and we have another one shot, for “When I’m With Suzie (I Do What I Want),  that we will start editing soon.

CG - Who picks the tunes when you travel? What are you listening to now?

EB - We all kind of take turns picking the tunes but Michael Zimmerman is a pretty good DJ so sometimes we just let him run with it. I started a “Van Jams” playlist on Spotify because I thought it would be fun for us to all add songs to it like a jukebox. If you want to hear a song add it to the list and it will play eventually. Plus then we could share that on our social media and people could check out what we’re listening to in the van. It didn’t last too long. We also enjoy Marc Maron’s podcast and various stand up comedy. One time Wade Cofer bought some old timey radio show cassette tapes from a thrift store while we were on the road and those were super fun to listen to.

CG -  What is your go to restaurant on the road?

EB - Ugh. This is the hardest part about being on the road. Usually no one gets mad about Chipotle. Breakfast is usually Waffle House. It’s best to ask locals at the show where to eat the next day though.

CG - Do you binge watch any TV shows?

EB -  I recently watched GLOW on Netflix and I loved it.

CG -  If you could go back in time and see any band, what would you choose?

EB - Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles

CG - What kind of show should folks expect at Natalie's and on this tour?

EB - We’ll be playing all the hits.

(Erica Blinn/Will Newsome) © 2017 Blinn Rae Music (ASCAP)/This Day Forever Music (ASCAP)/Curry House Music (ASCAP) Erica Blinn: lead vox, acoustic "Nashville" guitar PJ Schreiner: drums, percussion Michael Zimmerman: bass Steven Cooper: slide guitar Wade Cofer: electric "phase 90" guitar Michael Talley: keys Bree Frick, Colin Gawel, Mark Nye, &

Mel Kiper's Big Board: Ranking All the KISS Unmasked Songs

Mel's Kiper's Big Board: Ranking the KISS Unmasked Songs

The Unmasked draft is set. On Sunday February 18 in Cobo Hall in Detroit, six teams will be drafting songs from the KISS non-makeup era. Lick It Up to Revenge. Ping pong balls were pulled last week and the draft order is:  1) Matt Walters 2) Scott Carr 3) Mike Lovins 4) Jeremy Porter 5) Colin Gawel 6) David Martin.  Click here to learn more about the teams and the draft process .

To get you primed for the event we asked ESPN draft guru Mel Kiper Jr. to give us his expert opinion on how he sees the draft working out. Remember, his Big Board is NOT a mock draft and does not reflect what team needs must be addressed specifically. It's an overall assessment of how he values each song. Once again, this is NOT the actual draft, just an expert's best guess. The real draft results will be posted Thursday February 22nd at Pencilstorm. 

Take it away Mel Kiper Jr!!

1 - Unholy / Revenge:  The clear number one, the best Gene song by a country mile

2 - I've Had Enough / Animalize:  Probably the best written, hardest-rocking Paul song of the non-makeup era   This song can make all the throws.

3 - Heart of Chrome / Revenge:  My favorite Vinnie co-write and my favorite song on Revenge .

4 - Fits Like A Glove / Lick It Up:   Such a great Gene song, even if it was overplayed live

5 - Tears Are Falling / Asylum:   Maybe the best pure Paul song of the 80's

6 - Domino / Revenge:  Even if it was ripped off of a Black & Blue song, it still rips

7 - Lick It Up /  Lick It Up:   Great, even after a million times   This song ran a 4.3 at the Kiss combine.

8- Heaven's On Fire /  Animalize:   Same as LIU  

9 - Not For The Innocent /  Lick It Up:  An excellent LIU chestnut

10 - Thrills In the Night / Animalize:  Such an astute piece of writing for a great album of Paul material

11 - Get All You Can Take / Animalize:   Love this song, even with the over the top "fucking"

12 - Thou Shalt Not / Revenge:  A return to form for the demon, a heavyweight in topic and music

13 - A Million To One /  Lick It Up:  One of the greatest Paul power-ballads ever.

14 - Every Time I Look At You / Revenge:  Such a delicate song - no doubt heavily influenced by Ezrin

15 - King of the Mountain / Asylum:  Such a great opener - is there a better Carr drum track?

16 - Hell or High Water / Crazy Nights:  Underrated CN nugget from the Demon. Might be Kulick's best co-write.

17 - Turn On The Night / Crazy Nights:  Who doesn't love a little Diane Warren cheese?

18 - I'll Fight Hell To Hold You / Crazy Nights:  A great song in the vein of the other hardest Paul tracks from the 80's

19 - God Gave Rock and Roll To You / Revenge:  Just a great song and a great cover choice.

20 - Who Wants To Be Lonely / Asylum:  Might be the best melodic song on Asylum

21 - Reason to Live / Crazy Nights:   The song that saved Crazy Nights. Great chorus.

22 - Forever / Hot In the Shade:  Not my favorite, but hard not to rate it up there.

23 - Crazy Crazy Nights / Crazy Nights:  Just a great anthem.  Makes big plays in big games.

24 - Gimme More / Lick It Up   Another LIU classic.

25 - Young And Wasted /  Lick It Up:   Fond memories of Carr singing this one live.

26 - Under The Gun / Animalize:  Rounding out Paul's big 5 from Animalize

27 - Exciter / Lick It Up:   Not the greatest opener, but still a great song.

28 - And On The 8th Day / Lick It Up:  Might be the best closing track of all the 80's albums.

29 - Take It Off  / Revenge:  It's cheesy, but it slams.

30 - Good Girl Gone Bad / Crazy Nights:  I've always thought this Gene song was underrated (and his CN material holds up better than Paul's)

31 - Hide Your Heart / Hot In the Shade:  A well-written song with a great chorus. Of the times, but it still works. 

32 - Betrayed / Hot In the Shade: I've always thought this was an OVERRATED song by KISS fans simply because HITS was a bad album

33 - Paralyzed / Revenge:  I like this tune, but it doesn't rate that high because I like so many others better.

34 - Dance All Over Your Face / Lick It Up:  I've liked this song better than I probably should. It's just a typical Gene sleazefest.

35 -  Just Wanna / Revenge:  I don't really dig this song, but it really worked live and is well- written despite the Summertime Blues-isms

36 -  All Hell's Breaking Loose / Lick It Up:  I've never liked this song. The Paul rap thing doesn't work for me. 

37 - Thief In The Night / Crazy Nights:  This song isn't bad, but it just doesn't really have enough for me.

38 - Tough Love / Revenge:  An interesting song that needed a better chorus. Sounds too much like a worse version of Heart of Chrome

39 - Little Caesar / Hot In the Shade:  I think this isn't bad, but I've never thought it was that great. I think because it's Eric's vocal debut it's overrated

40 - Rise To It / Hot In the Shade:  Maybe the most overrated song ever. It's so funny how retro rock briefly became this terribly white blues in 88-89. It's good, but…..

41 - Cadillac Dreams / Hot In the Shade:  I LOVE this song, but many hate it. It's not great but I love Gene's solo because he took these kind of chances, so…...

42 - Any Way You Slice It / Asylum:  It's not as awful as it could be. The end is atrocious, though. Any time a song ends like that it's gets deducted major points

43 - Trial By Fire / Asylum:  Pretty good song for its placement, but not a winner

44 - I'm Alive / Asylum:  Not a bad song, but a milquetoast Paul thrasher. Essentially Under the Gun II      Talent pool is deep at this position, no need to reach. 

45 - Love's a Deadly Weapon / Asylum:  Not a terrible song either, but kind of forgettable

46 - Uh! All Night! / Asylum    I hate this song because the chorus sucks to me. I get it, but I'm not onboard.

47 - Secretly Cruel / Asylum:  The Double Virgo cover makes me like it more than I would without that reference point…...

48 - King of Hearts / Hot In the Shade:  Average HITS song but that's not saying much

49 - Prisoner of Love / Hot In the Shade:  Another average HITS song - some days I love it, some days…...

50 - Silver Spoon / Hot In the Shade:  Apparently this is the part of the list where average HITS songs go to die. I like the message better than the execution.

51 -  When Your Walls Come Down / Crazy Nights:  There's nothing that says we're getting close to the bottom like Crazy Nights filler

52 - The Street Giveth / Hot In the Shade:  This is a great idea for a song, if not the best song. I tend to like it more than not because I like Bowie

53 - Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell / Hot In the Shade:  Firmly in the not bad category, but not good either.

54 -  Spit / Revenge:  The Spinal Tapisms just don’t' work for me at all

55 - You Love Me To Hate You / Hot In the Shade:  Too whiny

56 - Lonely Is the Hunter / Animalize:  You know what else is lonely? The bottom of the rankings   Really hurt itself with a terrible performance at the East/West Shrine game.

57 - You Make Me Rock Hard / Smashes Thrashes & Hits:  I can't do the Smashes Thrashes and Hits tunes

58 - Let's Put the X in Sex / Smashes Thrashes & Hits:  see above

59 - While the City Sleeps / Animalize:  I try to make this song good because I want it to work. It really doesn't

60 - Love's A Slap in the Face / Hot In the Shade:  Just kind of there

61 - Carr Jam '81 / Revenge:  Not really a song

62 - Radar For Love / Asylum:  Paul gets embarrassing

63 - Murder in High Heels / Animalize:  Gene really took a shit on Animalize, didn't he?

64 - Burn Bitch Burn / Animalize:  A song I truly struggle not to skip - Off field problems raise a red flag. 

65 - Boomerang / Hot In the Shade:  Laughing out loud at this song moved it up a few spots from the bottom

66 - My Way / Crazy Nights:  Paul the Eunuch

67 - Read My Body / Hot In the Shade:  So I dub thee Unforgivable

68 - No, No, No / Crazy Nights:  No, No, No is right.

69 - Bang Bang You / Crazy Nights:  The Unforgivable II

Mel Kiper Jr. may or may not actually be Matt Walters. If you read this to the very end, you deserve and have earned the truth.