Watershed Rankings Day 1 - The Bottom 11 by Nick Jezierny

Originally published in 2015 - Watershed plays Columbus August 9-10-11 in the year 2019. Click here for details.

Find and play these songs on Spotify! 

This six-part series is the brainchild of Nick Jezierny, a former sports journalist who has worked at newspapers in Ohio (including the Columbus Dispatch), Texas and Idaho, and who obviously occasionally has too much time on his hands.  

(Comments on the rankings by Colin Gawel, Joe Oestreich & Ricki C. will be sprinkled liberally throughout the piece, and some videos will be thrown into the mix.)

 

Criteria: I took 66 Watershed songs from the major releases, beginning with Twister. I started this probably a few weeks after the release of Hitless Wonder. I was driving to Whitefish, Montana from my current home in Boise, Idaho for a vacation. On the trip, I listened to every Watershed song on random shuffle. It’s a 12-hour trip from Boise, so that definitely helped make the drive less painful. Anyway, two songs get reviewed twice because of the different versions ("Black Concert T-Shirt" and "If That’s How You Want It"). I took into account live versions of songs because “Three Chords II” is such a great record it wouldn’t be fair to rule out live songs. (Seriously, do you EVER hear the studio version of Peter Frampton’s “Do You Feel Like We Do?”) The live versions of some Watershed songs totally make them sky-rocket up on my list. Here we go, I’m sending these in groups of 11 so the list will last six days on Pencilstorm, should it be approved for publication.

 

Day 1 (The Bottom 11)

 

Studio Stuff (66): Total cop out, but let’s face it, no Watershed song deserves to be called the worst Watershed song, right? This isn’t really a song, just a bunch of noise that separates the good stuff on “Star Vehicle” from the rest.

 

Didn’t Exactly Lie (65): A little too country and slow for my liking, and the song is just too damn long.

 

Turn It On, Turn It Up, Turn It Loose (64): This probably should have been recorded by the League Bowlers. Just doesn’t work for Watershed that well.

Colin G. - Just to clear things up, the previous two songs were never considered actual studio tracks. To make a boring story just as boring, at one point the record Star Vehicle was changing labels and we had the masters in our hand for exactly one night so we decided to slip on a couple of B-sides before it went out to be re-pressed. The art work kind of makes them look like they belonged but "Star Vehicle" as intended was only ten songs. The bonus tracks were added as a sweetener for people who had already bought a copy. All three songs were recorded at Captured Live studios in Durham, NC where we spent a week and cut about 10 demos. Only these tracks have ever seen the light of day outside of Biggie's iPod.

Click here for info on The League Bowlers "Some Balls". The lost Watershed record.

 

What Would I Need You For (63): This is where the list gets hard. This song really could be 20 places higher, but for me, it’s the low point on the debut record.

 

I’ve Been Looking Everywhere / Born To Run (62): I love the song “Born To Run,” and if you’re going to cover it, give it some of your own personality. Needs a little Watershed-ification. The “I’ve Been Looking Everywhere” part is interesting and I gained appreciation for it while seeing it performed live at Slim’s in Raleigh, N.C., last year.

Colin G. I don't know how much more personality you can give Born To Run than taking a song originally cut as a Spector wall of sound rip-off and doing it as a three piece garage band. Just the song and no frills. I suspect Little Steven would love this version. And the fact we just slipped it in on the end of the record, spliced to another track….

 

Watch This! Live December 2012

 

Don’t Give A Damn (61): I’m not an Ohio State football fan. Living in Columbus (which I did from September 1991 to May 1998) was very difficult in the fall when you were overwhelmed by the Buckeye fans and media. This is the only Watershed song my wife will skip when it comes on in the car, and I don’t stop her. Of note, I do think it’s awesome it was recorded considering Watershed is a Columbus-based band that roots for Ohio State.  Watch This! 

 

Paint The Town Red (60): When I first downloaded this song, I didn’t realize it was a cover. Learning that made me feel better. Why? Because I found this after “Fifth of July,” and to me, this was a step backward for the band. As a cover, it makes sense. I still haven’t heard the original version. Listen Here!

 

I Deserve You (59): This is an excellent vocal performance, but it just gets lost on "Side 2" of Twister.

Watch This! No footage of this song, but very rare cover of Sinead O'Conner "Last Day of Our Acquaintance" after band plays "Johnny 99." Film from infamous Endo/Exo three night stand in Jacksonville, FLA.  The band refuses to talk about what happened, to this day.

 

Going Through The Motions (58): The only song I really don’t like on “Fifth of July.” I do like the execution of an idea. The song is called “Going Through The Motions” and the tempo is so monotonous, and the lyrics are spot on. Very well done, but it’s out of the 3-minute, up-tempo song structure of the rest of the album.

Colin G - The song was deliberately placed on the album to set up "Best is Yet to Come", which was deliberately placed last on the record. This wasn't necessarily a safe/smart choice but we felt it made the entire 5th of July record more interesting and still do.

 

Never Could Have Made It (57): A little too sappy for me, but it isn’t a bad song by any means.

Colin G - No sir. Joe Peppercorn shines. Sucks the sap right out of it Lindsey Buckingham style.

 

Wreck It (56): A very raw song that should have been the theme song for the recent movie of the same name.

Ricki C. - Let me say this, right at the outset of this list: I have NO MEMORY whatsoever of more than half of the tunes thus far, and I've been seeing Watershed since 1990.  Let me also say this at the outset: I've been a FAN of the band way longer than I've been an employee of the band.  (Point of fact: as late as 2005 I was still being referred to as "that Neil Diamond-looking guy who's always hanging around talking to Colin" by no less a personage than Michael "Biggie" McDermott.)  I have an insider's view of the outside, an outsider's view of the in.     

Watch this! We couldn't find much footage for these songs, but click here for a full pro shot Watershed Concert from the LC in Columbus in front of 1,500 people.

 

The Watershed Rankings series will continue on Pencilstorm for the next five Saturdays. 

Stay tuned.

 

Album Review: A Lost Classic / Samantha 7 - by Jeremy Porter

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST - LISTEN WHILE YOU READ!

Samantha 7 was a short-lived power-trio formed and led by one Bruce Anthony Johannesson – aka C.C. DeVille - the spiky-blonde-haired, shredding axe-slinger for the pop-metal-glam-hair band Poison. How I ended up with this obscure disc is a bit of a journey, so bear with me for just a bit of back-story. Remember VH1?  Remember when they had a show called “Rock and Roll Jeopardy?” It was basically a Sunset Strip version of the Alex Trebek-hosted classic, with rock stars as contestants and rock and roll categories for the answers for which they were to provide the questions. Jeff Probst of Survivor fame was the host. Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath was a star contestant, as was C.C. DeVille, with his honest and innocent Spicoli-like LA-beach-bum-stoner with a hoarse Brooklyn accent persona and ditzy delivery that was ultimately overshadowed by his vast knowledge of all things rock. It was high art and great entertainment. What we’d give to have those days back, eh? As a gag, I bid $2 for the CD on Ebay as a Christmas stocking-stuffer for my better half, who had taken a bit of a liking to C.C. and his charming antics on RRJ. I set the CD aside for a few days until I was ready to wrap it. How could it not be terrible? I’ve never been a Poison fan, and never really considered C.C. more than you’re run of the mill shredder. I popped it into the player on a whim as I gathered the scissors, wrapping paper, and scotch tape. The music started, and after a few moments I stopped in my tracks, raised an eyebrow, and looked accusingly at the stereo.   

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Holy shit?!?! I Was Framed! had my attention right off. An upbeat powerpop-rock song that had all the energy of the New York Dolls, the melody, grit, and hooks of the first Cheap Trick record, and the raspy vocals of a punk-rock Bryan Adams meets Rod Stewart. The album has that feel throughout. Unlike Poison, it’s not raunchy and full of cheap innuendo. The lyrics aren’t exactly Springsteen-level, but they’re leagues above I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine. C.C. sings from the nostalgic mind of a confused kid about movie star crushes, long-lost and longed-for girlfriends, life in Hollywood, and the struggles of a hair-metal giant facing obscurity in the year 2000, long replaced in the public eye by Nirvana and the endless trail of cardigan-wearing pouting bands that followed. The record also has a loose, raw, under-produced (in a good way) feel, like three dudes walked in, plugged in, and let the tape roll. Oh, it’s got a sheen, it’s no demo, but nothing close to over-produced records like “Open Up and Say….Ahh!” and “Look What the Cat Dragged In.”   But most of all it’s got an honesty and innocence that lacks pretension and only comes from making music you love because you love to make it, and not for any other reason.

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 I Wanna Be Famous, their best known song, thanks to its use as the theme to “The Surreal Life” (with C.C. as a cast member) is a straight up rip off of He’s A Whore, but there’s at least a refreshing take that makes it forgivable. Good Day harkens back to the 90’s alternative bands reaching for that acoustic, strum-along hit ala Jane Says or Runaway Train. Every song has something you’ve heard before, but every song is fresh, honest, and fun. Sure, part of the attraction is that it’s just so unexpected, but damned if it doesn’t have staying power.    

Samantha 7 did a couple tours, including a set at Woodstock `99, and there has been the occasional reunion rumor, but it seems to have been a one time side-project as Poison has since enjoyed a resurgence that has them playing the summer shed circuit to sold-out crowds of cutoff-wearing housewives drunk on Coors Light, singing along and reliving their high school years. Can’t blame the dude for getting sober, going back to his bread-basket, and making a living, but if you’re looking for some honest, heart-felt, raw and fun rock and roll, give it a spin. It’s a lost treasure.   

Jeremy Porter lives near Detroit and fronts the rock and roll band Jeremy Porter And The Tucos - www.thetucos.com

Follow them on Facebook to read his road blog about their adventures on the dive-bar circuit -
www.facebook.com/jeremyportermusic 


Twitter: @jeremyportermi | Instagram: @onetogive & @jeremyportermusic | www.rockandrollrestrooms.com

Watershed Hullabaloo August 9th, 10th & 11th in Columbus, Ohio - by Colin Gawel

Watershed Hullabaloo August 9th, 10th &11th

It’s time for Biggie to fire up the van and get everybody together to play these Watershed songs we have spent the last 34 years crafting to sloppy perfection. So if you are up for it, we have three different shows for your consideration.

Friday August 9th Joe and I will be joined by Dave Masica for some songs and storytelling at the fabulous Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza. It’s a one-of-a-kind show and….it immediately sold out. Don’t feel bad. Even my wife didn’t get tickets.

But who wants to attend some wussy unplugged show when you can get your balls to the wall the very next night at Ace of Cups? On Saturday August 10th doors are at 7 pm and the amazing Earwig will be opening the show, onstage at 8 pm. We are on around 9:30 pm. Folks, I ain’t going to BS you, it’s going to be a good one. If I were you, I would get your tickets NOW.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep says my alarm as I will be wiping the sleep out of my eyes for a 2 pm FREE show at Little Rock on Sunday August 11th.. Billed as Watershed and friends, we are going to have some gear set up in the corner and will most likely play not only some Watershed tunes but Bowlers, Bones and maybe a little Cheap Trick too. It’s more of a weekend wrap-up happy hour than a show. 

In other news, yes, Watershed actually has 7 new tunes about 90% finished but it looks like nothing will be hosed off and thrown into the limo before the big weekend. Still, keep checking back as we should have some new tunes out in the near future. Also, Pencilstorm will be running all kinds of Watershed content leading up to the show, including the complete Watershed song rankings to get you hyped. Hope to see you at the hullabaloo. - Colin

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Pencil Storm & Proust, Remembrance of Bands Past, part the second: Mother May I - by JCE

MOTHER MAY I: Great Band, Great People - by JCE

Mother May I was a band from Washington, D.C. that had one major label release on Columbia Records and a handful of other releases in the 1990’s. I first discovered Mother May I when I attended a “3 bands for 3 bucks” show at the old 9:30 Club in D.C. one night. I forget who the first band was. The second band was called Adam West and they were pretty good. Then came Mother May I. I was extremely impressed with their set and I became an instant fan. That night, they were selling a vinyl 45 that I bought, for only a dollar, I think. (Three bands and a vinyl 45 rpm for a total of 4 bucks, dang that’s good!). It is clear vinyl and it is one of my most prized records. One thing I loved about the record was that they self-released it on their own label which they dubbed “Dat-Kord Records.” This name is extremely clever, because D.C. was pretty famous for its hardcore punk label, Dischord Records. Get it, Dischord, Dat-Kord? I love bands that don’t take things too seriously.

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My copy of the first Mother May I single on Dat-Kord Records

After that show, I kept an eye out for the band, and in 1994 they released a great EP called “Use Your Appetite For Spaghetti.” Again, an amusing and clever title poking some fun at all of Guns n Roses’ record titles (Use Your Illusion, Appetite for Destruction, The Spaghetti Incident).

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Use Your Appetite for Spaghetti

Soon after that release, they were signed by Columbia Records and put out their major label debut, “Splitsville.” I thought it was an excellent record. I guess Columbia didn’t think so, because they were dropped the same year, 1995.

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Splitsville

Around the time Splitsville came out, I was in a record store with a friend who came across a Mother May I CD single called “Breaking Up at X-mas.” It was a promo they had out just before Splitsville. He bought it, much to my dismay, because it was great, I had never seen it before, and I wanted it for myself. I decided to write a letter to the band. In it, I asked how I could get a copy of that promo Christmas song CD, and I tucked an old gig flyer into my letter and asked if they would sign it. I told them about the “3 bands for 3 bucks show” and how I’d been a fan from the start. I was shocked a couple of weeks later when Damon Hennessey, the vocalist, guitar player & songwriting force (with drummer Rob), sent me a package. In it was a short letter thanking me for the support, a signed poster to me and my wife Janet (rather than the crinkled flyer I sent), a bunch of stickers and a promise that the Breaking Up at X-mas CD was on its way from California. The CD showed up a few days later. How cool is that?

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Signed poster to my wife Janet and I

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letter and sticker

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Breaking Up At X-mas promo cd

After hearing that Mother May I had been dropped by Columbia, I waited and hoped for another release on a new label. In 1999 my wish was granted with the release of “33 1/3.” This second full-length recording was loaded with more great songs.

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33 1/3

I saw Mother May I play several times over the years, most notably opening a show in D.C. at a club called 15 Minutes with the headliner being The Neighborhoods. (side note about this show worth mentioning was that the ‘Hoods were calling this their final show ever. I’m not sure if they meant final show in D.C. or just final show, but either way it was a bummer. I got the Neighborhoods to sign a CD after the show, and they swore they were done. It was heartbreaking.) But getting back to Mother May I: after 33 1/3, I heard nothing from the band for a while. Somehow, I connected via email and heard back from the drummer, Rob LeBourdais. Rob told me Damon had moved to Chicago and was involved in film-making. Rob was still drumming, at that time for a D.C. band called the Timothy Bracken Complex, and he sent me a demo CD of that band, which is also really good. The “Use Your Appetite for Spaghetti” record had included an acoustic version of a song I had heard Mother May I play live many times, called “Sitting Pretty.” It’s my favorite song by Mother May I, so I asked Rob if they ever recorded an electric version. His reply was yes, they had a bunch of great demos they planned to release, but why wait? He sent me a demo CD that is just fantastic.

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Advance copy demo CD from Rob

About six months later, when they released the demo CD more formally, Rob sent me a copy of that, just so I would have the proper artwork.

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Demo CD, formal release

Unbelievable. At this point, Damon and Rob from Mother May I have sent me a signed poster, a promo Xmas CD, a demo CD from another project, a never-released demo CD and a copy of the now released demo CD. These are very nice guys, obviously.

Mother May I played a reunion gig in 2010 in Arlington, VA at Club Iota, but sadly I didn’t hear about it until it was past. I really hope they do another one someday. Other than that, the band remains inactive, but they have provided me with some great memories. If you never heard Mother May I, you may want to check them out. They do have a Facebook page and they did release an updated version of Splitsville. They recently posted a bunch of photos on their page from the 9:30 Club, The 15 Minutes Club, and the WHFS Festival – all shows I attended.

Mother May I is another in a long list of great bands that should have achieved much more. Clearly, their lack of big time success never stopped them from being great people though.

Sitting Pretty

Breaking Up At Xmas

Ricki C. and JCE (John, to his friends & family) first bonded over their shared mutual love of Boston's Finest Sons - The Neighborhoods - and everything extended out from that rock & roll ripple.  JCE lives in Culpeper, Virginia with his wife & daughter, and he & Ricki are STILL waiting for the long-rumored NEW Neighborhoods record to be released. Maybe in 2019.

Mick Jagger vs. Jon Bon Jovi. Seriously. - by Colin Gawel

I have a question: Taking all things into context, which solo band clip is worse: Mick Jagger or Jon Bon Jovi?


Being the owner of a coffee shop may not provide a retirement fund or vanity plates that read Mr. Beans, but it does provide countless hours to re-read rock n roll biographies and write things for Pencil Storm. Let’s call it a draw. Recently, I was thumbing through the excellent Keith Richards - Life (again) and flipped to the period in the 80’s where Mick was going solo, trying to be (ahem) “as big as Michael Jackson.” Needless to say, the other Stones were not thrilled, but what especially pissed off Keith was Mick touring solo and doing a set of almost ENTIRELY STONES SONGS. (Click here for those stats)

I guess it never really hit me the first 10 times I read this book what a huge dick move this was.  Come on Mick, either have the balls to go solo or leave the Stones legacy out of your ego trip. He even had the guitar players dressed up like “rockers.” Who dresses guys up like Keef and Woody when he can play with the real thing?  Oh wait, light bulb flickering…...flickering…...I bet I can find this footage on YouTube. (Note: Woody was played by Joe Satriani who they had dressed up like Miami Steve Van Zandt for some reason)

Mick Jagger - Honky Tonk Women Melbourne 15 October 1988 Deep Down Under Australian tour line up: Mick Jagger, Joe Satriani, Jimmy Rip, Doug Wimbish, Simon Phillips, Phil Ashley, Susie Davis, Bernard Fowler, Carol Kenyon, Valerie Scott and Jenny Douglas.

Mick Jagger - Brown Sugar Melbourne 15 October 1988 Deep Down Under Australian tour line up: Mick Jagger, Joe Satriani, Jimmy Rip, Doug Wimbish, Simon Phillips, Phil Ashley, Susie Davis, Bernard Fowler, Carol Kenyon, Valerie Scott and Jenny Douglas.

Oof. That fake choreography with fake Keith in Brown Sugar made me throw up in my mouth a little bit (2:12) Oh, and the sax solo is played on a keyboard. (I could almost get on board with a keytar) What a travesty. As a Stones fan it’s pretty jarring to see what Mick Jagger considers a “rock show” when left to his own devices. Let’s thank our lucky stars his solo career fizzled and he eventually got back around to being the front man of the world’s greatest rock n roll band.

One band that will never be labeled the world’s greatest rock n roll band is Bon Jovi. Following in Mick’s footsteps, Jon Bon Jovi too put his own solo band together to bank some easy cash in exchange for whatever pride anyone felt about being a Bon Jovi fan.
As gruesome as those Mick Jagger clips were, not surprisingly, the Jon B solo clips are that much worse. The introduction from some CEO is straight out of a Mr. Show episode before the band launches into… Sgt. Peppers???? Then it’s time for Jon to hit the stage….. His complete lack of musical talent is stunning. And he cannot dance. At all. In fairness, at least he had the good taste to mostly avoid crappy Bon Jovi songs and just play wedding band covers. Though interestingly, in the clip below, his voice sounds worst on his own songs. Like really bad. (8:18) Folks, I’m not going to sugar coat this. The following video is patently offensive to anyone who has ever loved rock n roll. Proceed at your own risk.

Achtung!! NON-ROCKING COMMENCING IN 3-2-1 ………

Uploaded by mrjameseyboo on 2014-05-18.

Colin Gawel owns Colin’s Coffee and plays in the band Watershed and The League Bowlers. Just google Colin Gawel to learn more.


The Dark Side of Born In the USA as Told in Haiku - by Colin Gawel

Like most folks I know, there are many things I love about the USA and some things I do not love. With the 4th of July approaching, I listened to the album Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen top to bottom. And then this happened. (Ok, I cheated with 5-7-5 words. Sue me already)

Click here to listen while you read.

The Dark Side of Born in the USA as Told in Haiku

 

Born in the USA

You will take this gun

To go and kill the yellow man

I’m Born in the USA

 

Cover Me:

Times are tough getting tougher

The whole world is rough just getting rougher

Looking for lover cover me

 

Darlington County

Big city guys came to party

With the small town girls in Darlington

Wayne handcuffed was somebody raped?

 

Working on the Highway

I’m working on the highway

Cracking rocks on a prison chain gang

Young girl definitely was raped

 

Downbound Train

You were waiting for me

You said your love had never died

I hear that long whistle whine

 

I’m on Fire

Someone took knife edgy dull

And cut a valley through my soul

Wake up sheets soaking wet

 

No Surrender

We are never gonna win

Be a kamikaze die like a man

No retreat baby no surrender

 

Bobby Jean

I came by your house

Your mother said that you went away

Wish you had told me

 

I’m Going Down

I’m going down down down

Down down down down down down down

Down down down down down

 

Glory Days

Drinking hard at a bar

Time slips away and leaves you nothing

Except boring stories glory days

 

Dancing in the Dark

You sit around getting older

There is a joke it’s on me

Man I’m not getting nowhere

 

My Hometown

Main street white washed windows

Laid in bed thought of getting out

Getting out of my hometown

Colin Gawel plays solo and in the band Watershed. He works on Pencilstorm at Colin’s Coffee. For more info google some of the following words: Colin Gawel Bruce Springsteen Cheap Trick Pencilstorm