Weep For My Family. It's The NFC Championship Game

(Editor's note: Brian Phillips grew up in the Olympic Peninsula town of Port Angeles, Washington. He's followed the Seattle Seahawks since their 1976 inception. He attended the Hawks first win ever, a last second 17-16  pre-season thriller over the San Diego Chargers. His childhood heroes were Jim Zorn and Steve Largent. His first  paid radio job involved plugging in local commercials  during Seahawks broadcasts at KQQQ in Pullman, Washington. Living in Ohio has not dulled his Hawk passion. Don't ask him about the 12th Man, or Beast Mode, or 'You Mad Bro' or any of that shit unless you like getting spittle on your face. )

As my Seahawks have continued on their inexorable march to this evening's NFC Championship Game friends have been checking in to see where I'm watching. I've had no answer. Home seems the safest option. My wife and daughters have grown to accept my frothing. I'm sure it's not easy. Whenever I see this commercial I'm filled with fear that I am this guy:

The Bier Stube across from the campus Gateway is owned by a Seahawk fan for crying out loud. I could go there, but he's trying to run a business. I don't want to scare away the regulars. 

My buddy Nick is always understanding, but he's a Patriots' fan. What if the Pats lose? He'll be in no mood for my nonsense. I watched this game with him in 2012. I thought he was going to brain me with his shoe.

The issue of course is that when it comes to the Seahawks I am reduced to some sort of feral or childlike state. This play from last week's Saints game had me baying at the moon:

It's best that I separate myself from the herd and watch alone save for any member of my family crazed enough to join me. We know 49ers/Seahawks will be one for the ages. I should probably wear a helmet myself. 

My picks:

Seahawks 20 49ers 17

The other game:

(This one is actually a lot harder to pick. The weather won't be a factor... 61 and sun in Denver today if you can believe that. The conditions should be sufficient for Manning to do what he does)

Broncos 38 Pats 34

Why Wouldn't Bonds and Clemens Pay Sportswriters for Favorable Coverage? by Colin G.

Last week as the Baseball Hall of Fame ballots were being revealed I couldn't help noticing that some writers around the country and, most importantly, on ESPN were taking a decidedly softer stance on allowing PED (Performance Enhancing Drugs, for the non-juiced layman) users into the Hall of Fame than in past years. When referring to known abusers like Bonds and Clemens they would say things like "players who have been linked to steroid use.." and then just lump those two in with players like Jeff Bagwell and Mike Piazza who have never been found in a growth-hormone clinic ledger by the FBI or had a tainted syringe with their DNA on it associated with them. For anybody who has done even remedial research, Clemens and Bonds are guilty of systematic steroid abuse over a long period of time. Period. Case closed. Bagwell and Piazza are guilty of nothing but Popeye forearms and some back acne. Big difference.

What really jumped out at me is when one reporter on ESPN said, "Lots of people have been calling for reforming the process for how people vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame" Really? I'm a big baseball fan and I don't recall "lots" of  people calling for reforming the voting process for the HOF. Certainly not enough to warrant a lead story on Sportscenter with the NFL playoffs in full swing.

Then it hit me: what do powerful people and corporations do when they are found guilty of breaking the rules and therefore have trouble getting what they want? They hire lobbyists to alter the public dialogue and then simply CHANGE THE RULES to their advantage. Powerful people changing the rules is as American as apple pie and a shoddy heath care system. It is the way of the world. Why would the Baseball Hall of Fame be any different than Wall Street or Washington, DC? Or rock n roll for that matter. Remember when Rolling Stone magazine gave Mick Jagger's totally unlistenable solo record "Goddess in the Doorway", FIVE STARS?!? Yeah, nothing fishy there.......

Certainly Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds would have the motivation, the ego and the means to get a couple of known sportswriters in their back pocket to lobby on their behalf.  Successful athletes are made of money and not used to taking "No" for an answer. (See: every successful athlete.) $50,000 would go a long way for a sportswriter and, let's be frank, many people who cover sports are jock sniffers of the highest order in the first place. They would be honored to come on board and help out. I mean, congressmen were asking Clemens for his autograph before his ill-fated testimony on Capitol Hill. (Which dumb jock Roger Dodger requested and got as a favor.)

Unlike greasing a politician's palm, I'm pretty sure this would all be legal, if not exactly ethical. Who cares if  Barry wires some cash to a sportswriter in Miami, chalks it up to a consulting fee, and said writer then makes a big stink about the injustice of it all: "Oh the humanity, this is a joke. Bonds and Clemons and all the PED guys are getting a raw deal. I'll just give my vote away." Sounds like a well thought-out public relations strategy to me.

I guess we could just let everybody in, steroids be damned, but I just can't see assholes like Bonds and Clemens standing at Cooperstown making an acceptance speech still claiming they never used performance enhancing drugs, thus treating all us fans, fellow players and legit Hall of Famers such as Maddox, Glavine and Thomas like a bunch of f-ing jerks (as they say in "Goodfellas").  

And while I'm at it, Buster Olmey complaining that TEN votes aren't enough for him on his ballot is beyond absurd. Prioritize, MOFO. Didn't this nerd ever have to make a mix tape or a playlist? There just isn't room for everybody.  If Buster had it his way, seventeen players would all go into the Baseball Hall of Fame this August because that is how many he wanted to vote for on his ballot. Reminds me of the scene in Princess Bride were Prince Humperdink doubles the guards outside the castle.  Just silly. The induction ceremonies might look something like this..  

OK, Buster, if we are going to change the voting process for the Baseball Hall of Fame I have one minor request: please give Pencilstorm a vote. Here is my ballot, and I don't need ten......

Greg Maddux, Craig Biggo, Frank Thomas, Tom Glavine, Jeff Bagwell, Tim Raines.

Everybody else waits another year, particularly those lying dicks Bonds and Clemens. Though I suppose I could be persuaded to change positions in time for 2015, wink wink, nudge nudge. (This space available…..for a price.)

Colin Gawel owns Colin's Coffee,  writes for Pencilstorm, plays in the band Watershed (which you can read all about in the best selling and acclaimed memoir "Hitless Wonder") and is a life long Reds fan. He steals most of his writing style from Bill James but nobody seems to notice. 

* In fairness to Mick, while "Goodess in the Doorway" is truly "Dogshit in the Doorway" as fellow Stone Keith Richards once famously quipped, Jagger's previous solo effort "Wandering Spirit" - produced by Rick Rubin - is really possibly the best Stones album since "Some Girls." A clip from each record below.....you be the judge.

 Five Star Dogshit..

"Don't Tear Me Up" from the excellent Wandering Spirit.

The Browns Would Be Crazy Not to Hire Jim Tressel. by Colin G.

Jim Tressel should be the next head football coach of the Cleveland Browns. I know that at first blush it sounds crazy, but after a week of talking about it at the coffee shop, it occurred to me that hiring any of the other candidates is way crazier.

The Browns choices for head coach are:

A) A marginally successful assistant coach from an another NFL team or a former head coach who has already failed. The Browns are currently the laughingstock of the NFL and by firing their latest coach after just one year, have made themselves the least desirable job for any top-flight candidate looking for a new job.  Basically the Browns have their pick of scrubs, has been's and never will be's. 

or

B) A living legend with close ties to Northeast Ohio who bleeds for Cleveland. A man who won titles at Ohio State, Youngstown State and is currently a successful A.D. at Akron, not to mention his old man is also a legendary coaching figure from Baldwin Wallace. 

The Browns are a franchise in need of a face lift in the worst possible way and the hiring of Jim Tressel would make them instantly relevant again.  Maybe not nationally, but certainly where they need it most: with the Browns long-suffering fan base. Can you imagine the excitement when Coach Tressel would show up to accept the job in an orange sweater vest and proceed to give a tear-jerking speech about his respect for the tradition of Browns Football and his love for Northeast Ohio? I swear a riot might break out right then and there on the streets of Cleveland.

Can he do the job? For starters, being head football coach at Ohio State is way harder than coaching the Browns, so he should be prepared on that front. Ohio State has higher expectations, a bigger budget, more players, boosters, alumni, and an unhinged fan base. And, as we are well-aware, that pesky NCAA has a nasty habit of sniffing around asking about the starting QB's latest tattoo. You just don't get that kind of action/scrutiny in the National Football League. (see: Josh Gordon / Greg Little ) As an administrator I would say Jim Tressel is over-qualified to take on the Browns head coaching job. 

He would also bring some kind of football philosophy to the organization for the first time since Marty Schottenheimer was the coach. Whether you are a fan of "Tresselball" or not, he knows EXACTLY what he is trying to do and how he wants to win football games. Stout defense, good special teams and taking care of the football. Sounds like a pretty good fit for this particular Browns roster. 

Or, to put it another another way: If you were looking to hire somebody to run your company, which of the following names and resumes is the strongest? Chris Palmer, Butch Davis, Terry Robiskie, Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini, Pat Shurmur, Rob Chudzinski, or.......

Jim Tressel.

Seriously folks, it's a no brainer. Expectations on the North Coast have never been lower and there isn't a person on Earth who can convince me that Jim Tressel couldn't do at least as good of a job as the list of previous Browns coaches. It is a golden opportunity to inject some instant excitement into the fan base, with tons of upside and very little downside.

What's the worst that can happen, the Browns keep losing? 

I can live with that. I plead with the Browns front office to give Jim Tressel a shot. 

Colin Gawel wrote this at Colin's Coffee on a busy Saturday morning so if it isn't exactly perfect what of it?

Job Opening: Must Move To Cleveland

Job Opening: Looking for High Performing Leader – Must Move To Cleveland

Imagine you’re offered the position of CEO for a well-established brand. While it may not be with the company you want, it’s a position you dreamed about your whole life.  All your training and education has prepared you for this moment.

But before you say “YES!” to your new Board of Directors, the right synapses fire in your brain and you realize it’s best check with your wife first. You ask for 24 hours to consider the offer and then go home to consult with your significant other. “Honey,” she says, “Before we pick up the family and move to… {cough, cough}… Cleveland… can you do a little research about the company? See what you’re getting into?”

You apprehensively agree to your wife’s wishes, and you do a quick Internet search about the company. Here’s what you discover:

Their last CEO wasn’t even in the position for twelve months before they fired him for not reversing a five year trend of negative sales. They let one of their top new salesmen go this year with practically nothing to show for it and have had three new Chief Marketing Officers (their brand leaders) over the past year. In fact, during the past 14 years, they've had more than 20 new CMOs. During that same time, they've had six CEOs. You will be the seventh.  That’s a new CEO every two years.

They've only had TWO years of positive sales in the past 14 years.  They weren't even consecutive years. Also, the Chairman of the Board who owns a majority of the company is being investigated by the FBI for fraud for dealing with his business partners in another company.

The only good thing about the company is the customers are loyal. They will buy whatever product you sell, no matter how big the pile of crap is.

Knowing this, do you join the company?  Do you move your family across the country to lead this turd of a product?

Of course, I’m talking about the open head coaching position for the Cleveland Browns. You don’t have to be a sports fan to understand this is ridiculous job to take. Why would anyone on this earth would raise their hand and take the first plane to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport to lead this organization? I mean, come on, the fans actually call the stadium “The Factory of Sadness”.

I’m no Jimmy Haslam, but doesn't he know he’s not going to land a star head coach to lead the Browns? Maybe a coordinator from a mediocre team, or a head coach from a second tier college team may go for the job. But no one better than that.

But unfortunately, whoever they bring to Cleveland will go because of money. And that’s exactly what the Browns DON’T need right now. They need someone who wants to be there because they want to be with the Cleveland Browns. Someone who dreamed of that job, just like Meyer, Tressel, Bruce, and Hayes all dreamed of coaching the Buckeyes.  Because the next Browns coach needs to do more than produce results – they need to inspire. Inspire the players, the fans, and most importantly the city.

Because while we’re down here in Columbus complaining about one loss against Michigan State and how we lost a close one to Clemson in a major bowl game, our friends up in Cuyahoga are getting kicked while they are down.

Good luck, Cleveland. I wish you well.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He grew up in a blue collar suburb of Cleveland and is now lives in Upper Arlington, Ohio.

Pencil Storm Bowl Pick Em Show Down!

The Pencil Storm sports department assembled at Jed's in Hilliard Friday December 27th for its annual meeting. Over Fireballs (a house specialty) and cold pitchers of grog Editor-In-Chief Colin Gawel challenged drunk-in-residence Brian Phillips to a bowl game pick-em. 

The concept is simple. With alternating picks Gawel and Phillips were to select winners for all remaining bowl games out of that morning's Columbus Dispatch which happened to be laying on the bar. Both combatants are locked into the Vegas lines published December 27th. Each win is worth two dollars. Each man also selected the game giving them the most confidence. Those are worth an additional $2. The National Championship Game is being held as a tie breaker. That pick will come later. The stains on the page are real. Commentary will be added as time allows. 

December 27

The Military Bowl Presented By The Military Industrial Complex

Marshall -2 1/2 (Gawel) over Maryland (Phillips)

Phillips: Colin when President  Eisenhower warned us of the dangers of the military industrial complex he was likely speaking against just this sort of game. Who the fuck knows right? 

Gawel is out of the gate with an easy cover: Marshall 31-20.

The Texas Bowl Presented By Irritating Puffy Chested Texans

Minnesota -4 (Phillips) over Syracuse (Gawel)

Phillips: Colin your faith in the Big Ten is almost non existent. I like the Gophers defense a lot and they can run the ball half way decent. What the hell!

Update: So much for that: Syracuse 21 Minnesota 17

The Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Presented By Our Shitty Economy

Washington -3 1/2 (Gawel) over Brigham Young (Phillips)

Phillips: Thank you Colin for taking this one out of my hands. I'm a Wazzu Coug and can't possibly root for the Dawgs.

Update: Ugh... UW 31 BYU 16

Day One Totals: Gawel 3 Phillips 0

December 28

Pinstripe Bowl Presented By Robinson Cano

Notre Dame -14 (Phillips) over Rutgers (Gawel)

Phillips: I hate that number for obvious reasons. Gawel snagged this one before I got to it however. At this point I'm hoping for a blow out.

Update: Told you I hated that number. Notre Dame 29 Rutgers 16

Belk Bowl Presented By People Who Ask "What's A Belk?"

North Carolina -2 1/2 (Gawel) over Cincinnati (Phillips)

Phillips: This one jumped out at me.... I think the Heels are getting a bit too much respect owing to their frantic slog to 6-6 after beginning the year 1-5. U.C. meanwhile did notch some nice wins over bowl teams and took Louisville to overtime too. 

Update: What a crap pick on my part. North Carolina 39 Cincinnati 17. The Heels have a kid named Switzer from Charleston, WV by the way. Ran back a punt for a TD. Blazing speed. How did WVu not get him? 

Russell Athletic Bowl Presented By I Have A Russell Jersey Made In 1983

Louisville -3 1/2 (Gawel) over Miami (Phillips) 

Phillips: I'm hoping the Cardinals will be a bit underwhelmed with this bowl after losing out on a BCS bid. That's all I got. Colin snagged this one first and it could be among his smarter selections. 

Update: Louisville 36 Miami 9. The story line in this one was that all the kids on the field played against each other in high school down in Miami. I guess all the good ones went north. No way Teddy Bridgewater comes back to UL after this one. 35-45 447 yards, 3 TDS, No picks.

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl Presented By I Want Some Wings Right Now

Kansas State -4 1/2 (Phillips) over Michigan (Gawel)

Phillips: I see the humor in Gawel having to root for Michigan of course. Taking the Wildcats was pretty easy after learning UM would have to start a true freshman.

Update: Thank God. K-State 31 Michigan 14. Nice players on KSU's side. I like the quarterback Waters a lot. Nice arm, great poise. Can run when he has to. Tyler Lockett is a pro prospect at wide receiver no question. Michigan? Last night was the same old story. They can't run the ball. The freshman wasn't horrible, but not ready to make any difference either. Their d-coordinator is supposed to be brilliant, but they didn't look that great last night... not as bad as against OSU mind you, but not great. Hoke really hasn't moved the needle up north much at all. 

Two Day Total: Gawel 5 Phillips 1. Blech.

Monday December 30

Armed Forces Bowl Presented By It Would Be Cool To Have A Helicopter

Navy -6 1/2 (Phillips) over Middle Tennessee State (Gawel)

Phillips: I'll be honest, I  don't know squat about these two teams. Navy runs the ball a lot and MTSU is in the middle of Tennessee. I took Navy because 6 1/2 is a much more humane number than 7. 

Update: Navy 24 MTSU 6. Yeah see I told you so. 

The Music City Bowl Brought To You By Underwater Mortgages

Ole Miss -3 (Gawel) over Georgia Tech (Phillips)

Phillips: Nice snag by Colin. When in doubt take the SEC team over the ACC team. (Not so sure about this logic for the National Championship however.)

Update: Ole Miss 25 Georgia Tech 17. Crap.

The I've Never Been To A Valero Station Alamo Bowl

Oregon -13 1/2 (Gawel) over Texas (Phillips)

Phillips: My logic here such as it is.... In Mac Brown's final game surely the Horns can cover against a bored Oregon team. 

Update: Oregon 30 Texas 7. Bloody hell! Did they ever like Mac Brown? Nice way to show it losers.

The National University? Holiday Bowl

Arizona State -14 (Phillips) over Texas Tech (Gawel)

Phillips: As I remember it sitting at the bar December 27th I avoided this one for as long as I could hating that number. It wouldn't surprise me a lick to see ASU easily beat the 14 though.

Update Texas Tech 37 Arizona State 23. Biggest upset of the bowl season thus far. ASU fell way behind and just never bothered to get moving. After a very nice season the Devils shit down their leg in the Pac 12 Championship and this one. 

Three Day Total: Gawel 8 Phillips 2. This needs to turn around in a hurry. 

Tuesday December 31

The This Used To Be The Poulan Weedeater Now It's Something Called Advocare V100 Bowl

Arizona -7 1/2 (Gawel) over Boston College (Phillips)

Phillips: Good luck figuring out  Dick Rod's 2013 Arizona Wildcats. Down the stretch they lost at home to WSU, clobbered Oregon, and then got blasted in their rival game by ASU 58-21. My thinking here is that when the players figure out they are not in New Orleans they're going to become bored and depressed. 

Update: Arizona 42 Boston College 19. Another ACC squad.... This is beginning to bode poorly for FSU. 

The How Do You Spell Hyundai Sun Bowl

UCLA -7 (Phillips) over Virginia Tech (Gawel)

Phillips: I saw UCLA quite a lot this year. Quarterback Brett Hundley is darn good, and two way threat Miles Jack is perhaps the nation's most intriguing freshman. I have no problem laying a normally problematic 7 here. 

Update: UCLA 42 Virginia Tech 12. Finally a satisfying result! And another turd for the ACC. They now sit at 2-5.

The Autozone Has Lots Of Parts And I Have No Idea How To Install Them Even With Their Advice Liberty Bowl

Mississippi State -7 (Phillips) over Rice (Gawel)

Phillips: Another 7 I don't worry about. MSU played a tough SEC schedule, and I'm not entirely certain what conference Rice is in at this point. I think it's Conference USA. Good for them. 

Update: MSU 44 Rice 7. Two in a row! Look out!

The I'm Not Saying Their Name Because Of Their Stance On Same Sex Marriage Bowl

Texas A&M -12 (Phillips) over Duke (Gawel)

Phillips: God bless Duke they've had a great year, but this is probably out of their league. 

Update: A&M 52 Duke 48. I don't want to hear any more about the SEC playing defense. Woeful effort on that side of the ball. Johnny Football was a star in what will likely be his final game, but it wasn't enough for me. 

Four Day Total: Gawel 10 Phillips 4

Wednesday January 1

The Slayer Bowl

Georgia -9 (Gawel) over Nebraska (Phillips)

Phillips: Colin snatched this one up as eagerly as a heaping fork full of Jed's Fireballs. He has no respect for the Huskers and who can blame him after their season ending lack of effort at home against Iowa. 

Update: Nebraska 24 Georgia 19. In retrospect the Bulldogs going without Murray makes that -9 look goofy. I'll take it. 

The They Killed JFK In The Heart Of Dallas Bowl

North Texas -6 1/2 (Gawel) over UNLV (Phillips)

Phillips: Just as Jerry Jones uses his immense power to get this Cowboys Stadium dog on New Years Day so he uses his power to keep Jason Garrett employed. This was I believe the last game selected and only then because we were out of beer. Ok we were only out of beer for a few moments. 

Update: North Texas 36 UNLV 14. Seriously you could comb the earth and not find one person who watched this game. 

This Used To Be The Tangerine Bowl Only No One Remembers Bowl

Wisconsin -1  1/2 (Gawel) over South Carolina (Phillips)

Phillips: It's probably just my diseased mind, but this might be the most tantalizing line of the entire bowl season. Conor Shaw is a nice quarterback. That Clowney guy might knock someone's head off again. What's not to like.

Update: South Carolina 34 Wisconsin 24. Here's to a diseased mind!

The Bloomin Onion Bowl

LSU -7 (Colin) Over Iowa (Phillips)

Phillips: This is another one Gawel jumped on like a starving dog on a steak. I can see it. Iowa is just so..... Iowa.

Update: LSU 21 Iowa 14. Les Miles' Tigers played it Big Ten style and gave us our first push of the competition. 

The Rose Bowl Shouldn't Be Presented By Anyone

Stanford -5 1/2 (Gawel) over Michigan State (Phillips)

Phillips: Gawel's lack of respect for his own Big Ten is becoming a trend. I like that number for Stanford and am regretting not getting it for myself.

Update: Michigan State 24 Stanford 20. I watched the whole game and came away with even more respect for Dantonio's Spartans. This team is a disappointing early season loss to Notre Dame away from playing in the national championship.... And I'd pick them if they were. 

This Is The Final BCS Bowl Stuck With The Regional School No One Gives A Crap About Fiesta Bowl

Baylor - 16 1/2 (Phillips) over Central Florida (Gawel)

Phillips: Well shit. Something deep within tells me that number is way too high. Who knows right. This is probably a nice snag by Colin.

Update: UCF 52 Baylor 42. George O'Leary got caught lying to get the Notre Dame job once, but in the end things worked out well... Which isn't a good lesson for children I suppose. Speaking of children I missed this game because I had been hogging the TV at the vacation cottage we rented for a few days and my 12 year old wanted to watch this awful show called "Dance Moms." It features these hideous mothers and the fascistic woman who teaches their terrified children how to dance. The teacher hates these poor girls and their mothers live vicariously through them. I weep for their futures, which likely include teen pregnancy.

Five Day Total: Gawel 12 Phillips 7 (One Draw)

Thursday January 2

The Corn Syrup Bowl

Alabama -15 (Phillips) over Oklahoma (Gawel)

Phillips: I have no problem picking against Big Game Bob and laying the 15 to do it. No one sucks more in important games than Bob Stoops. Hell I'll give Colin another TD! Yee Haw Boomer Sooner.

Update: I'm an idiot. That is all.

Six Day Total: Gawel 13 Phillips 7 (One Draw)

Friday January 3

Another Credit Card With A Bowl Game Offer

Ohio State -2 1/2 (Gawel) over Clemson (Phillips)

Phillips: I didn't pick this one first as I wanted Colin to. What am I going to do let the OSU grad root against his beloved Bucks? I am human. That said I'm beginning to have my doubts. With Roby (injury) and Spence (suspension) out an already suspect Ohio State defense looks even more shaky. That said I'm not rooting for Clemson. I hope Ohio State wins by 2 or less!

Update: Clemson 40 Ohio State 35. I take no pleasure in this win. Clemson really tried to give this away, Ohio State just tried a bit harder. Also Miller was hurt the entire time. 

The Cotton Bowl Is Not Played In The Cotton Bowl Cotton Bowl

Missouri -1 (Phillips) over Oklahoma State (Gawel)

Phillips: Pretty simple. When in doubt I'll take the SEC squad giving a mere 1. 

Update: I didn't watch much of this owing to Ohio State being on.... Crazy finish.... 24-17 in the fourth. That was enough. 

Seven Day Total: Gawel 13 Phillips 9 (one draw)

Saturday January 4

The... What? BBVA Compass Bowl? I Think It's A Bank In Alabama

Vanderbilt -2 1/2 (Phillips) over Houston (Gawel)

Phillips: James Franklin has done a remarkable job at Vanderbilt, which is for lack of a better comparison, the Stanford of the SEC... Which is to say it's the only school in the SEC you can't enroll any prospect with a pulse. The question for Coach Franklin is whether or not to cash in.... and where to cash in.... I don't have an answer. I think he should stay. Great school, cool town. You'll always be appreciated. 

Update: Vanderbilt 41 Houston 24. Vandy 9-4. Tennessee 5-7. 

Eight Day Total: Gawel 13 Phillips 10 (one draw)

Sunday January 5

The Danica Patrick Implied Breast Godaddy.com Bowl

Ball State -8 /12 (Phillips) over Arkansas State (Gawel)

Phillips: Ah yes... After a solid two days of heart stopping NFL Wild Card Action (and the stupid Bengals) we have this.... I'm not even sure what this is... Poor ASU has lost their head coach to a better program for four straight seasons now. Hell  last year's Arkansas State Godaddy.com Bowl winning coach Gus Malzahn is coaching Auburn in the title game this year.  What does it all mean? I have no stinking clue and as I remember it this one sat on the bar for a long time. Anyway I'm on a jag here and can't stop now. Go Cardinals! 

Update: Arkansas State 23 Ball State 20. Bloody hell.

Final Total: Gawel 14 Phillips 10 (one draw)

We didn't need to pick the national title game after all, which in retrospect seems anti-climatic. That happens. I owe Colin $8. I will probably settle up in beer. As it should be.

Hitler Talking About Michigan vs K State In the BW3 Bowl. Essential Viewing.

If you are the sensitive sort, this clip may not be for you. (don't bother commenting, Hassler) However, if you are the opposite of that sort, you are sure to enjoy this video of Hitler making fat jokes about Brady Hoke and Michigan football. Please pass on to like minded individuals. Pure hilarity. 

Click here for more high art from the brilliant twisted mind of Lou Brutus.