The North Coast Posse are back with a Browns Draft Preview.

Follow the Browns draft live @northcoastposse    Follow the Cavs @bengalli33

Questions by Colin G.  

1) The official low point of a Browns fan's year is finally here, the NFL draft. The Browns previous five first-round draft picks were: Trent Richardson, Brandon Weeden, Barkevious Mingo, Justin Gilbert and Johnny Manziel. One could argue that the FIVE players combined have not contributed to ONE Browns win in the past three years. Could my 11 year old son do a better job drafting out of a magazine than the Browns front office? At this point shouldn't they just do what Mel Kiper says? Could it be worse?

Big $ - First things first, I have the utmost respect for Mel as he somehow invented his own career based on a teenage obsession (professional Tecmo player never materialized for me). However, since he invented the position, he has very little accountability. Mel may be the only person I trust less than Ray and Jimmy. If it was up to me, I’d have Tony Grossi run the draft from a golf course somewhere.

K-Dubs, the Soldier – This question obviously was submitted by someone who is not a Browns fan.  Draft Day represents a high-point in a Browns fan’s optimism.  It is when first-round picks like Richardson fail to reach their potential during the season that we reach our annual low point.  It happens sometime in late November each year.  Surprisingly - in a depressing way - Weeden did contribute to some wins, including ones against Pittsburgh and Cincinnati.  He was the only pick of those five that I thought was worth a shot in the first round, because he has a pro arm and played in a sophisticated passing system in college.  His career has been hindered by an inability to make reads and throws quickly enough.  Gilbert and Mingo may still pan out because of their athletic talent, but they, along with Richardson and Manziel, were all headscratchers.  

I think your 11-year-old could have done a better job than the previous Browns regimes, but we need to give General Manager Ray Farmer at least another year before we give your boy the reins.  Farmer did show some promise in his first draft last year.  He was widely lauded after his first-round scheming, in which he landed Gilbert and Manziel.  Those actually turned out to be his whiffs.  His ability to evaluate players really shined in the subsequent rounds, particularly when he targeted Joel Bitonio, who is a Pro Bowl-level talent guard, linebacker Chris Kirksey and running back Terrance West.  I don’t think they should just listen to Mel Kiper, either.  Instead, Farmer just needs to abide by his own judgment and ignore the input of owner Jimmy Haslem, who allegedly ordered the selection of Manziel on the advice of a homeless man.


2)  What players and positions do you hope the Browns address in the first round? What is the likely disaster scenario that leads to another draft-night binge-drinking session, followed by calling off work Friday?

Big $ - There is a part of me that is rooting for any pick/trade that puts a definitive nail in the “Johnny era.”  I have no idea if Marcus Mariota will pan out, but I do know that if he is drafted by the Browns there is a 0% chance that Mr. Football ever takes another regular season snap in brown and orange.  

Outside of that, I believe teams are built from the inside out. The top two picks should be spent on a defensive lineman and offensive lineman respectively.  On the defensive side, I’d like Washington’s Danny Shelton or Texas’ Malcolm Brown. Offensively I’m leaning towards Florida State’s Cam Erving due to his flexibility and ability to play center in the case that Mack jumps ship.

My wild card would be Shane Ray. If the Missouri pass rushing demon slips to 19, the Browns need to pounce.

As for what scenario would inspire mass Jameson consumption?  I’m pretty sure that the Browns could concede their top two picks and I still would be far from as disgusted as I was by the selection of "Johnny Foot-Tall” last May.

K-Dubs, the Soldier – It has been said that the NFL is a quarterback league, and the Browns have no established starting quarterback.  I think they should try to trade up (depending on the cost) to take Mariota.  I hear a lot of talk in Browns Nation that the team cannot “mortgage its future” for a quarterback.  I for one do not believe there is much of a future for a NFL team that does not have a franchise QB.  Plus, it is no secret that Farmer loves Mariota and talked about taking him in last year’s draft before Mariota announced he was returning to Oregon for another season.
If the big play for Mariota does not materialize, there are some other glaring needs Farmer can address.  The biggest need is on the defensive line.  The Browns finished last in the league in rushing defense and 27th in sacks.  Even slight improvements in the ability to stop the run and pressure the quarterback should pay big dividends because of the strength of the defensive secondary.  I think Shelton and Brown would be good choices with the 12th pick.  But if the Browns do trade up, don’t be surprised if it is for Leonard Williams, the highly touted defensive lineman out of University of Southern California.  They need to build depth on the offensive line, as well.  

This draft class also offers a lot of depth at the wide receiver position.  Although the Browns signed veteran wideouts Dwayne Bowe and Brian Hartline in the offseason, they could add a player that can stretch the defense with a second-round selection, like Ohio State’s Devin Smith, or Jaelen Strong out of Arizona State. 

Rumors are also swirling about the Browns taking Georgia running back Todd Gurley in the first round.  That remains a possibility, and I think Gurley is an explosive talent.  But he is coming off a knee surgery, and the Browns already have a pair of second-year running backs in West and Isaiah Crowell.  

3) Which off season move is less likely to have an impact on the upcoming Brown season: New uniforms or Johnny Football going to rehab?

K-Dubs, the Soldier – Less likely?  Manziel going to rehab.  By the time the season starts, Johnny may even be third on the depth chart at quarterback.  I bet that the 1989 San Francisco Forty Niners would have still won the Super Bowl if third-stringer Steve Bono spent the previous spring in rehab.  I am glad Manziel had the courage to address his addiction, and I wish him the best in life.  I just don’t believe he has the physical tools to succeed in the NFL.  The uniforms, though, are getting some good reviews from the players in the locker room, and as the old adage goes: “If you look good, you play good.”  Trite as that saying may be, Browns fans will take any advantage we can.  

4) Why were the Browns is such a hurry to run Brian Hoyer out of town? What did that accomplish?

Big $ - As much as Hoyer was a “Cleveland Guy” he was much more a “Lombardi/Banner” guy. Once that regime was shown the door, Ol’ Ray was gonna make sure he put his own stamp on the team. Number 6 never stood a chance with Farmer making personnel decisions. Had a sensible choice been made on a young QB prior to the 2014 season, Brian Hoyer would have been the ideal bridge for 2-3 years. It’s truly a shame the way that the situation played out.

5) Looking at the new schedule and off the top of your head, what is your best guess on the total wins the Browns pile up in 2015?

Big $ - When I initially looked at the schedule I was at least optimistic about the first 3 games. KW politely reminded me that both the Raiders and Titans games last year were dogfights that the Browns were lucky to survive. This dampened my hope and led me to the realization that this team is headed to maybe a 2-3 win season and those random wins will be attributed solely to the parity of the league. Cardale here we come!

K-Dubs, the Soldier – The Browns finished 7-9 last year, which was only the 4th time since they returned to the league in 1999 that they finished with 7 wins or more.  There is no doubt that the team benefited from the NFL’s schedule balancing, with the Browns making their money against the bad NFC South.  That division is off the schedule this year, though.  In addition to the divisional games against the AFC North, which again should be the toughest in football, the NFC West has been added to the slate.  That means road games against the Seahawks, the Rams - which has one of the top three defensive lines in the league - and a homer versus the Cardinals, who went to the playoffs last year.  Peyton Manning’s farewell tour is also blowing through town in week 6.  Things look bleak.  With the Browns, you can never count sure wins, but the home games against the Titans and Raiders promise the best opportunities for victories.  The team always steals a conference win or two, and I will throw in an additional win on the strength of the defensive back seven.  That puts my over/under at 4.5 wins.  Look for another draft preview column at this time next year, as we await the Browns’ top-ten pick. 

Cavs n Roses: "The Greatest NBA Players Get Embarrassed." - by Ben Galli

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The greatest players get embarrassed. Magic Johnson fell flat on his face running onto to the court in his first game ever.  Larry Bird wore the stupidest mustache for the better part of his career.  Jordan was going bald when he took Kareem’s advice and just shaved it all off.  I contend that’s what made him better than Clyde Drexler.  

 

Anthony Davis got swept by the Golden State Warriors last night.  He also has a land bridge over his eyes.  We’ll get to that later.  This was Davis’ first playoff series in the year he blossomed into what many felt he was destined to be.  The Brow averaged 24.4 points per game (4th in NBA), 10.2 rebounds per game (8th), and 2.9 blocks per game (1st) this year. In the playoffs those numbers rose to 31.5, 11.0, and 3.0.  But he couldn’t win a game.  Obviously the Pelicans were playing a far superior Warriors team that had won 22 more regular season games.  Davis showed that he could play big in the bigger games.  The question now remains: What will he do next?  Will he take his team to the next level?  Great players make those around them greater.  Bird and Magic did it with their passing and attitude.  Jordan punched his way to the top.  Who knows if Steve Kerr would be a good coach if he hadn’t experienced the Jordan rules.  He himself says it was one of the best things that ever happened to him.  Davis is pretty much unstoppable but will he put in the work to take his team to newer heights.  I believe in his desire for greatness.  But how high can Pelicans fly anyway?

Still, Davis may have bigger problems.  Many around me believe his grooming can be improved.  Or is it an issue of grooming?  Face it.  We can’t depend on the judicial branch of this great nation to decide on the most important issues of the day.  Sometimes the people have to take to the streets.  Or the tweets.  So I ask you loyal readers: Should Anthony Davis get rid of his famed unibrow or should he continue owning it and keep it? I hope there’s more of you than the Supreme Court, and I hope you’re all less old.  

The A-K Rowdy is being represented well in these playoffs.  Although Akron can’t truly claim Stephen Curry, he joins LeBron James as top 5 NBA players this year that were born in that famed city.  I imagine if you’re reading this column, you saw his absolutely not-real, eyes-closed, fouled, 3-point dagger to tie the game Thursday night.  If I knew how to Vine, I’d Vine it for you but the anticipation of searching for it online will only increase the satisfaction.  (watch it here)  In just under 40 minutes a game, Steph put up 33.8 points per contest in the 4-game sweep of New Orleans.  That’s Curry in a Hurry.  LeBron James has been LeBron James but Kyrie Irving has really been impressive.  In his first playoff series ever, Irving has shown a cold confidence that the Cavs will need to truly contend in these playoffs.  Kevin Love is shooting 47.4 percent from 3-point land, a considerable improvement over his 36.7 regular season percentage.  The Celtics have battled hard and impressed many.  Just imagine this team with an actual superstar.  However, I don’t see them winning a game in this series.  It’s not like Rajon Rondo’s going to suit up for them and not play.  

Someone who’s always played and brought it in the big games?  One 39 year old Timothy Theodore Duncan.  I’ve actually heard people spew vitriol towards him simply for how bland and boring he is.  In my mind though, 5 rings is never bland and boring.  And come on, the guy’s official website is www.slamduncan.com.  Exciting stuff.  Duncan scored 28 on 14 of 23 shooting in Wednesday’s important game 2, then took it easy with 4 points in the Spurs 100-73 blowout win Friday night.  Yes, the Spurs won the important game 3 in the best series of the first round by far.  This could have been the Western Conference Finals.  The game Sunday is a must win for the Clippers.  They have the 3:30 pm national attention.  They’re on the road at a place they were recently embarrassed.  Chris Paul might murder most of his teammates if they lose.  Blake Griffin does not want to be remembered for that dribble off his foot or as just Taylor Griffin’s little brother.  

But really, most of the series' have been atypically one-sided this year.  The Wizards are up 3-0 on the Toronto Drakes, despite Randy Wittman’s buffoonery.  (Just look up Randy Wittman Playboard.)  The Rockets lead the Mavs 3-0 and somehow Josh Smith is making them a lot better.  Both these teams can sweep today.  Why even play another game?  The Nets and Bucks both won yesterday.  I don’t want to waste words on the Brooklanta series, but the Bucks called a great play at the end to steal their victory.  I just wonder who called it, Jason Kidd or one of his assistants.  It was nice for the Deer to get a playoff win, but the Bulls should close out tomorrow.  The Jimmy Butler, D-Rose backcourt is going to spell trouble for all and the 2nd round Bulls-Cavs matchup will determine your East Coast Champ.  Memphis is pretty much dominating the overmatched Blazers.  R.I.P. City is down 3-0 but the larger concern might be are they losing LaMarcus Aldridge in free agency this summer.  Is he going back to Texas or is L.A. in LA’s future?  

It’ll be about a week but the 2nd round will show more promise.  Nothing in the East can top Cavs-Bulls, so as per usual the excitement level will come up short there.  Atlanta will lose whatever respect they may have gained this year if they can’t beat the Bullets.  In the West, although it’s too early to count the Clips out, the 2nd round in my mind will be Spurs-Rockets and Warriors-Grizz.  If Josh Smith stays in control and uses his talents, the Rockets can make it interesting.  The gritty Grizzlies may have just enough moxie and Marc Gasol to take G-State to the limit.  Still though, it feels like Spurs-Warriors is inevitable.  Well, until next time, a throwback to last year’s playoffs. @bengalli33

What If Dusty Baker was Bryan Price? by Colin Gawel

OK Reds fans: today we are going back in time to that magical year of 2007 (Time Machine Noise).…Whaa..Whaa…Whaa..bling…pop…hummmmmmm…….Bang!

The Reds hire former All Star and three time NL manager of the year Bryan Price to replace Pete Mackanin on October 13, 2007. The Reds haven't made the playoffs since 1995 and - even worse - haven't had a winning record since the year 2000. Two years after he's hired Price leads the Reds to the playoffs three of the four following years, but is fired after losing to the Pirates during the postseason in 2013. He has one year remaining on his contract. 

Price is replaced by his pitching coach Dusty Baker to manage the squad for the 2014 season. Baker has no previous managing experience at any level and in his first season at the helm the Reds finish a disappointing 10 games under .500, missing the playoffs by 14 games.

Things get worse for Baker in April 2015 when he goes on a post-game tirade against a Reds beat reporter, using the "F" word approximately 77 times. The outburst is an embarrassment to the Reds franchise as they prepare to host the MLB All Star the game in July. More so, it calls into question Baker's leadership qualities. 

Baker's Rant:

Ah, fuck. I’m just, I’m fucking pissing up a rope in this fucking business. Because everyone has to know everything all the fucking time. That’s not my fucking obligation, it’s not their obligation. You know why fucking Billy Hamilton didn’t fucking play? The other day? Because his fucking finger’s hurt and he couldn’t hit right-handed comfortably. Right? So that’s something that I need to know and no one else needs to know. No one else needs to fucking know it, and all of a sudden it’s out there. His fucking fingers are sore. It doesn’t benefit us. It wasn’t from you, but it doesn’t benefit us one bit to fucking announce to the fucking other teams that we’re playing to bring in lefties when they need to fucking get Billy out. There’s no benefit. So, I’m fucking, to be honest with you, I’m fucking sick of this shit. I’m sick of listening to this fucking shit, I’m sick of fucking the fucking second-guessing bullshit, you guys can do whatever the fuck you want, but I’ll tell you this — I’m not going to fucking tell you everything about this fucking club, because you fucking guys are going to out there and sniff it out anyway. I don’t fucking like it one fucking bit. I bend over backwards to be honest and direct with you fucking guys and you stick it right up my fucking ass — and the fucking team’s ass. And I’m sick of it. What do you got? If you don’t got anything, get out and I’ll do this fucking interview with Marty. You don’t have anything? Just get out, please.

Okay, imagine THAT scenario….Would Dusty still have a job today?  As a life-long Reds fan, and as much as it pains me to say it, it smacks again of an undertow of racism that I suspect is nudged along by 700 WLW.....

But I digress, enough of my yappin'. Let's hope the Reds turn it around in 2015 and make a run. I still believe there is hope, and no, I do not want to fire the manager. Yet. Your pal, Colin.

For further reading click here to read "This Reds Fan Will Remember the Dusty Baker Years Fondly." 

 

 

Game of Spurs or Cavs n Roses? NBA Playoff Preview by Ben Galli

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Welcome to Pencilstorm’s 2015 NBA Playoff preview.  What follows is a brief (and snarky) overview of each playoff series, ending with my pick to win.  Personally, I don’t get the big deal about picking how many games a series will go, but as they say, give the people what they want.  I separated by Conference and then in order of the series that were least appealing to most appealing. Please feel free to comment below and follow me @bengalli33 . The NBA Playoffs are FAN-TAS-TIC!


Game of Spurs - Westerosi Conference


I’m starting with the superior Western Conference.  Golden State had one of the most impressive seasons in recent memory but the West is all about overcoming the Spurs. Golden State may be a growing force but the Spurs just find ways to prevail.  Very Daenerys Targaryen pitted against the Lannisters.  This could be San Antone's last run with Timmy. So once again, starting with least appealing.....


#2 Houston Rockets vs. #7 Dallas Mavericks

    (56-26)            (50-32)


There’s a lot of storylines in this series but I’m just not very moved by either team.  Dirk’s an all time great but I don’t really see this team contending.  Harden can be fun to watch but the rest of the Rockets are a charisma vacuum.  The Mavs do have 2, maybe 3 guys that have the ability to carry them for a game in Dirk, Rondo, and Monta but they’re not at the point where they can do it for a whole series.  I think the Rockets handle Mark Cuban’s team easily even with some simmering bad blood between them.  Rockets in 5.


#1 Golden State Warriors vs. #8 New Orleans Pelicans

    (67-15)                (45-37)


Steph Curry plays basketball the way we all dreamed we could as kids.  The probable MVP has really cemented himself this year as must-watch TV.  The Warriors have a lot of talent and a coach that seemingly gets it, but they are young and untested. Even though they won 21 of their last 25 games this season, Golden State's knock is their youth and inexperience even though this is their 3rd straight trip to the playoffs.  Coming up against the best record in the NBA is The Brow, Anthony Davis, and the no-expectations-having Pelicans.  The best part about this series is that many more fans across the country get to watch Anthony Davis play.  Maybe he’ll make this series interesting but it’s not likely.  Warriors come out to play.  Warriors in 5.


#4 Portland Trail Blazers vs. # 5 Memphis Grizzlies

    (51-31)                (55-27)

 

This series features 2 flawed but pretty solid teams.  I’m interested in seeing how Memphis does in the playoffs since they were considered a contender by some prior to and during this season.  They play tough defense but can struggle to score at times. No lie, it is fun to watch Vince Carter ball out here and there.  Also want to give a tip of the hat to Mike Conley Jr. who has really evolved as a player into a bona fide NBA star after his one year at Ohio State (2015 National Champions!).  Portland has the ultra exciting Dame Lillard but was also swept in 4 regular season match-ups with Memphis.  Who would you root for? The music &d soul of Memphis or the hipsters of Portland?  Grizzlies in 6.


#3 Los Angeles Clippers vs. #6 San Antonio Spurs

    (56-26)            (55-27)


The Spurs are on fire.  They finished the season winning 21 of their last 25 by an average margin of victory of 16.4 points.  That run included 14 games against playoff teams.  This is a annual thing now for the Spurs who seemingly turn it on whenever they want to.  Every year we get older and the Spurs stay the same age.  A win last Wednesday against the Pels would have sealed them a #2 seed. As it stands, their loss dropped them to the #6 seed and lost them home court advantage most likely for the entire playoffs.  They are going up against a formidable opponent in Chris Paul’s Clippers squad.  Paul had a great season, De Jordan is a force inside, and Blake Griffin is still Blake Griffin, mediocre Kia spokesperson.  Even with a championship-winning coach and some interesting pieces, it’s difficult to go against the defending champs if only because they’ve earned that respect.  Spurs in 7.


Cavs N’ Roses

The Eastern Conference is the Chinese Democracy Guns N’ Roses lineup and the Western Conference is their Appetite For Destruction lineup.  With due respect to Atlanta’s wonderful season, the East is going to see Lebron’s Cavs or Rose’s Bulls as it’s Finals participant.  Hopefully Bulls fans don't regret Rose coming back from yet another knee injury too quickly while Lebron looks to make a rarely seen 5th Finals appearance in a row.

 

#4 Toronto Raptors vs. # 5 Washington Wizards

    (49-33)                (46-36)

Which Wizards team will show up?  The Wizards started off really well this year but also have a 13-15 record since the All-Star Break.  They have some talent but their coaching has been questioned.  The Raptors are in Toronto, which is in Canada, and it is true people in the states don’t give a shit about 'em. Drake being their superfan probably doesn’t help either.  I don’t know if Rob Ford hurts or helps.  The bigger concern is that they were a tad worse than Washington with a 13-16 record post Break. I like John Wall and I'm going Bullets on this one.  Wizards in 7.

#1 Atlanta Hawks vs. #8 Brooklyn Nets

    (60-22)            (38-44)


I’m mainly interested in this series for 2 reasons. I want to see what Joe Johnson can do.  He has the ability to carry a team for an entire series but how close is he to 100 percent?* And I want to see if this Hawks team is for real.  History says no but you can’t count out a Popovich disciple and the concept of good team basketball.  Although you don’t hear of Spurs players out at clubs at four in the morning altercating with the Po-Po, the Hawks will survive Round 1.  Hawks in 5. 

* This is a boldfaced lie, Joe Johnson only carries bags of money.


#3 Chicago Bulls vs. #6 Milwaukee Bucks

    (50-32)            (41-41)


The 6th seed in the East is 41-41 and the 6th seed in the West is 55-27.  The West's 6th seed would be the #2 in the East.  It's just gotten embarrassing. This series is interesting because Chicago remains a major player in this conference and this guy named Giannis Antetokounmpo, the Greek Freak, remains set to be a major player in the NBA for years to come.  Much like Anthony Davis in New Orleans, I’m looking forward to the casual fan getting a glimpse of his magnificent play.  I think Milwaukee lacks the playoff seasoning but Jason Kidd appeared to vastly improve as a coach. Remember the Bucks did this after losing the #2 pick in last year’s draft for more than 2/3rd’s of the season.  Fear the Deer Next Year but not this one.  Bulls in 5.

 

#2 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #7 Boston Celtics

    (53-29)            (40-42)


Some of LeBron's biggest series have been with the Celtics even back from his first Cavs days.  These are not those Celtics.  There's probably not a Hall of Famer in this bunch, but these guys are gamers and Brad Stevens is really starting to make a name for himself.  I still think his boyish presentation enhances the credit he gets - which may be unfair - but the Boy Wonder had a Celtics team many expected to tank in the 7th spot, albeit in the East. It'll be fun to root for former OSU stars Sully & ET, and Isaiah Thomas is a baller but I can't see this being much of a challenge for the Cavs.  I'm more interested in the wear and tear on LeBron and this being KLove's first playoff series.  LeBron hasn't rested this many minutes in the regular season in a long time and Love better learn fast if he's expected to be a major contributor on a championship team.  Cavs will be all business in this first round because the series everyone wants to see in the East is looming.  Cavs in 4.

Brian Phillips and Jeff Hassler "Prepare" For This Year's Fantasy Baseball Draft (Explicit)

Editor's note: I didn't think it would last. Brian Phillips and Jeff Hassler are going into their third season co-managing a fantasy baseball team. 

To say the pair have a difficult relationship is an understatement. Hassler's love of watery lime-flavored light beer, Ed Hardy shirts, and "douche music" is plenty for Phillips, a man Hassler has described as "a graying hipster" and "the world's oldest skinny anglophile motherfucker." To make matters all the worse, Hassler is an avowed Yankee fan. Phillips, on the other hand, is a lifelong Mariners devotee. Hassler has compared Phillips' frequent reminders of his long-running suffering at the hands of his often bottom-dwelling M's as "the baseball version of my constantly complaining ex-wife." Phillips counters that Hassler's ex-wife doesn't complain any more now that "she's signed with another club." The bile flowing between them is, for those that know them, cheap entertainment.

Still, through some sort of grim dedication, the Westerville Fister Of Fury enter their third season coming off a solid second place showing in 2014. Last summer was a vast improvement over 2013's 7th place finish. The two owners have agreed to let us peer inside their thought processes as they prepare to draft their 2015 squad on Tuesday.

Hassler, since you didn't answer my email, I've decided on our keepers: Rendon, Betts, Gray, deGrom, and Paxton. You'll recall that in our league kept players must be 27 years old or under. Thoughts?

What email? I saw no email, bud. Betts is on the Red Sox, right?

And let's get that out of the way right now. Need I remind you, Jeff, that last season, when I drafted players based on the stats they would bring to our squad, we finished in the money. When I was out of town in 2013 and you grabbed every God-damned Yankee you could find we finished 7th!

Jeter was coming off an outstanding year in 2012! 

Yes, it was real nice, but that doesn't mean you take a 38 year old shortstop in the fifth round, especially when the man's ankle snapped in half during the playoffs.... 

I thought he'd be ready by at least June.

73, Jeff. 

Is that how fucking old you are, Phillips?

No, that's the number of plate appearances the "captain" managed in 2013. 5th round! And don't get me started on C.C. Sabathia.

Again Phillips, great year in 2012. 

And I told you his home run rate was leaching upward that season and a guy with that many innings on his arm in that bandbox new stadium was a recipe for failure. 

Well, shows you what you know because he had a bad knee last year, not his arm.

His 2013 was shit-awful, Hassler. Last year came to a merciful end with the bum knee. You have a gift, Jeff, for identifying the final year a player is any good and then drafting that player after that final solid year is over.

You and your nerd shit. 

And of course your biggest achievement was making sure we had Alex Rodriguez. Unbelievable. 

And he's had a lot of time to chill and get himself together. I'd take him again this year. 

Well, we'll try to find room on the roster for an injury- prone/cheater/ part-time DH.

You're just angry he'll beat your beloved Mariners.

Yes, that's it Hassler. It was a happy time for me to at least have him on our team when he went .244, 7/19. Any issues with the other keepers? I know Rendon is hurt, but there's no final prognosis and I feel like he's worth stashing at only 24 years old.

I'll bet you a sixer of Bud Light Lime he has under 300 plate appearances this year.

You're on, but when I win I'd like some Four String Brew, please.

Hipster fuck. I see you protected your precious Mariner,  James Paxton.

I admit he's a bit riskier, but in that ballpark with his heavy ground-ball tilt regardless I like him to excel this year on a good club.

Another sixer the Yanks win more games than Seattle

Yes, please. I will take that bet, shithead. Rounding out the five we have reigning NL Rookie Of The Year Jacob deGrom and the solid Oakland starter Sonny Gray. 

Yup.

With those three locked up we don't have worry about pitching that early. 

The Mets suck.

deGrom doesn't and the Mets will also win more games than the Yankees. Will you give me another six-pack for that? Are you going to be at the draft?

Can't. I have a date. 

That's fine. Where are you taking her? Do not say Applebees.

Fuck you.

Pencilstorm Looking For a Writer to Cover the NBA Playoffs and More..

Howdy folks, Colin here. It's getting to be that time of the year to start paying closer attention the the National Basketball Association. Especially with LeBron back home trying to end that pesky 5,000 year Cleveland championship drought .

I'd love to take it on myself, but frankly, between Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?, fantasy baseball preparations and running the coffee shop, I'm swamped.

Anyway, if you, or somebody you know would like to knock out a weekly NBA playoff recap to be published on Pencilstorm, please send an email or a sample of something to our submissions page so Ricki C. can give final approval. Don't take it personally if he doesn't like it. Ricki is an old school journalist who is hard to please. 

Click here for a link to our submissions page 

In fact, we are always open to submissions: so even if sports isn't your thing, food, movies, TV, books, music, art, business, parenting and Cheap Trick are subjects we are interested in as well.

Please give us a shout. What do you have to lose? You could be just one click away from becoming a blogosphere sensation. Looking forward to hearing from you, Colin