Trade Deadline Recap: The Cavalier Restoration - by Ben Galli

Last Thursday’s NBA Trade Deadline may go down as one of the best days in Cavs history.  With just a few fell swoops, Cleveland traded 6 malcontent players (the active roster is 12) for 4 players that should put Cleveland back atop the East.  Rumors have dated back to the summer, but it was a pleasant shock to see them make trades that got the team what it needed.

Kudos are deserved by young GM Koby Altman (no relation to Kobe Bryant) who really endeared himself to The Land with a couple of deals benefiting the Cavs both by addition and subtraction.  As detailed in last week’s trade deadline preview, the Cavs and Isaiah Thomas were not really seeing eye to eye (pun intended).

With how poorly Thomas was playing, the Kyrie trade was being re-scrutinized.  Although many had warned at the time, it's now more widely accepted that the Cavs’ return haul in the Kyrie trade was less than desired.  Thursday didn’t solve the long-term ramifications of losing Kyrie Irving but it did set the Cavs up as well as could be expected for an uncertain future.

Sometime around 12 pm Eastern time, the news of the day hit.  The Cavs had traded Isaiah Thomas, Channing Frye, and their 1st round draft pick (not Brooklyn’s) to the L.A. Lakers for Jordan Clarkson (6th Man of the Year candidate) and Larry Nance Jr. (son of the former Cavs all-star).  

Then seemingly within minutes, the Cavs admirably executed a successful “Hold my beer” moment by making another roster shaking trade.  This one involved 3 teams and ended with the Cavs jettisoning Derrick Rose, Iman Shumpert, and Jae Crowder in favor of George Hill and Rodney Hood.  

In a comparatively under-the-radar move, the Cavs finished the day by dealing Dwyane Wade back to the Miami Heat for a conditional 2nd round pick.  That was a nice gesture to send Wade back to the city he rules to possibly finish out his career.  Banana Boat Bros 4 Lyfe.

Here's a peek at the new look Cavs:

George Hill is a 6’3 31 year old above average veteran guard who’s actually 3rd in the NBA in 3 point shooting percentage this year. He was a 1st round pick of the Spurs, traded to Indiana for Kawhi Leonard, and made 2 Eastern Conference Finals with the Pacers.  He’s better than Isaiah Thomas on defense.

Rodney Hood is a 6’8 wingman who played at Duke and is averaging a career best 16.9 ppg.  Injuries have marred his development but he has been long seen as a nice player with some serious upside.  I guess the comedy potential of Derrick Rose in Utah was too much for the Jazz to pass up.  He’s better than Isaiah Thomas on defense.

Jordan Clarkson is 6’5 and averaging the 2nd most points off the bench in the NBA behind just Lou Williams.  He was only the 5th player in the last 35 years to be drafted in the 2nd round and make the All Rookie 1st Team in 2015.  He’s an excellent scorer and smooth to watch.  He’s better than Isaiah Thomas on defense.

Larry Nance Jr. is the most unheralded member of the group acquired on Thursday but he may already be the most loved.  The 6’9 Akron native’s father is Larry Nance, a key member of the Cavs late 80’s to early 90’s glory years.  Nance Jr. is a high energy catalyst who flies around on defense, competes, and dunks magnificently like his pops.  He can improve on offense but he’s better than Isaiah Thomas on defense.

The Cavs got harder, better, faster, stronger.  A team chemistry that was threatening to burn down their season was demolished and replaced with a new hope.  But there are long term consequences as well.  The Cavs got younger and more talented in the long run (Hood, Clarkson, and Nance Jr. are 25).  But most importantly it showed a certain kid from Akron that maybe, just maybe Cavs management could secure him a true title contender.  Both of those are not bad things.

Update:  The Cavs are on cloud 9 after pretty much dominating the Boston Celtics Sunday afternoon in the first game the new Cavs played (and ruining Paul Pierce Day).  They combined for 49 points (8 of 15 on threes!) but perhaps most importantly, LeBron sat out the 4th quarter and looked like this for much of the 2nd half.  It's only one game and the Celtics had been struggling but if the team culture and chemistry can change this quickly and this drastically, the East yet again stands little chance against the King and his LeBronniers.  

Ben Galli covers the NBA for Pencilstom. Follow on twitter @bengalli33

How WWE Fixed the Royal Rumble - by Big Vin Vader

How WWE Fixed the Royal Rumble   by @Bigvinvader

The crowd in Philly was right: Holy Shit.  I don't think anyone expected the Royal Rumble to be nearly as good as it was.  Saturday's NXT TakeOver was one of the company's best PPVs in years and looked to totally eclipse the main roster's PPV.  And while nothing at the Rumble was as mind-blowingly great as Aleister Black vs. Adam Cole or Johnny Gargano vs. Andrade Almas for the NXT championship, we still got the single best men's Rumble match I've ever seen, and a hell of a first-ever women's match.  Those two seemed like surefire duds just because the past two years have been such colossal train wrecks.  There was no precedent for the women's match, so it should have been fine on paper, but I wasn't optimistic that WWE would make it anything truly special or respectful.  Wrong.  Not only was the in-ring action itself incredible, but the booking decisions for each match were nearly perfect, delivering exactly the sorts of spots and outcomes that the entire audience wanted to see.  The whole show bodes very well for the company's 2018, and even the nature of the surprise entrants shows that things are going to play out well this year.

I was legitimately surprised when the men's Rumble came in the middle of the show.  It's always the main event, the focus of the entire PPV itself, so it seemed odd to put it in any other spot.  Then again, it was tricky to structure a show featuring two separate one-hour matches, so it wasn't the worst choice.  It was also nice to realize the women would be headlining the show, no longer being cast as the "bathroom break" match in the sub-main event spot.  If anyone was stupid enough to just tune out during the women's Rumble, they missed a great match with a fantastic conclusion and several more legitimate surprises.  I've never been quite so excited about the result of a Royal Rumble, let alone two in the same night, so that's what I want to focus on here.  The rest of the card is harder to discuss, since I'd initially been looking forward to it more than the Rumble matches.  That wasn't necessarily because of their potential quality, since nobody really needed to see Kane in a Triple Threat title match in 2018.  I just expected WWE to totally botch the dual Rumbles and planned to find solace in the other matches on the show.  None of that was necessary, however, and as it stands now, I don't have too much to say about the undercard.  Lesnar, Styles, and the Usos retained, while The Bar won the RAW tag titles from Rollins and Jordan.  Nothing was terrible, but there was also nothing especially memorable or remarkable about the rest of the show either.

---------

It's always hard to run down the Rumble itself and touch on even half of the important moments in the match, but I'm gonna do my best.  Rusev came out first to a huge pop; the crowd has already turned him face.  He is so incredibly over that he needs better opportunities.  Finn Balor was out second, and he got about the same reaction, which is hardly surprising since only Vince McMahon believes that he isn't over with the fans.  Then again, somebody in the company must have faith in him, as he was this year's Iron Man, nearly making it coast-to-coast, lasting fifty-five minutes in total.  It was a pretty great showing, and it should have done wonders for Balor's stock in the pre-WrestleMania season.  At least until he lost clean to John Cena (who had eliminated him from the Rumble) on RAW the very next night.  I guess it's better than another loss to Kane.  There were several big surprises throughout the match, and each one was great.  First was Andrade Almas coming in at #7, which was especially surprising so soon after he retained the NXT championship the night before.  Almas put in a good showing and lasted nearly half an hour, so there's little doubt that he'll connect with the audience once he's called up to the main roster.  The in-ring portion of the Rumble was a few notches above what we've grown used to in the last few years, so the whole thing was already exceeding expectations.  Things picked up even more at the mid-point, with Shinsuke Nakamura, crowd favorite alongside Balor, coming in at #14 to a huge reaction. 

Both brands were represented by great talent, with all three members of the New Day entering, as well as other favorites like Cesaro, the finally-Broken Matt Hardy, and Seth Rollins all making appearances.  Shane Helms returning as The Hurricane was another legitimate surprise, though he only lasted forty-five seconds.  Shortly after that, Adam Cole made a surprise appearance at #23, which is especially impressive after the brutality of his Extreme Rules match from Saturday’s NXT TakeOver.  Just like Almas, Cole got a great reaction from the crowd, and will definitely find his place on the main roster once they make the decision to call him up (which should be sooner rather than later).  By this point, Jinder Mahal was the least received entrant into the match, and his presence here makes sense as the crowd needs someone to react against with little overall stakes.  So by the time the final five or so entrants were due, everything had been great, and things stayed consistent.  Entrant #27 was the biggest surprise of all, with Rey Mysterio coming out of nowhere to return to WWE, and last a good ten minutes.  Granted, his presence means nothing at the moment since he's still a free agent and has committed to nothing as of yet.  Still, that was the sort of surprise that the company always strives for yet fails to deliver.  Roman Reigns was in next and got the expected split reaction, while racking up several eliminations.  Dolph Ziggler was out at #30, which should have been a huge deal.  Ever since he forfeited the US title on SmackDown late last year, there was quiet buzz that he was the dark horse to win the match, reclaiming his tarnished legacy in the most spectacular fashion.  Instead, he eliminated Goldust, lasted for two minutes, and was thrown out by Balor.  At that point he shouldn't even have been booked in the first place.

The final stretch of the match was some of the best action on the PPV.  Mysterio hit both Reigns and Cena with a 619 at the same time, which was probably the best thing he could have done to rile up the Philly crowd.  Right after that, Balor got rid of him, leaving himself, Reigns, Cena, and Nakamura as the final four.  That was brilliant booking, especially in a hardcore town like Philly, with the two company golden boys pitted against the clear fan favorites and two of the company's best wrestlers.  At that point, it really seemed like anything could happen, especially given the number of times better, more deserving wrestlers have been sacrificed to Cena and Reigns.  Cena eliminated Balor, but Shinsuke went after him fast and got him out of there.  There was some legitimate tension as the final two went back-and-forth, and they really teased this one out.  I can't recall ever feeling that sort of anxiety during the conclusion of a Rumble match; usually it's more of a sunken sense of foregone inevitability.  So imagine the genuine elation I felt when Shinsuke Nakamura, who has been misused and horribly booked since debuting on the main roster, took out Roman Reigns to win the Royal Rumble.  Obviously, the Fargo Center went nuts for that one.  Renee Young came out to interview Nakamura and asked which champion he wanted to face.  The answer was somewhat predictable, but no less exciting: AJ Styles.  I'll take it as a given that AJ will retain the WWE Championship until Mania, but that's hardly the sort of spoiler to get upset at. 

All said, this was the Royal Rumble that I've enjoyed the most in recent memory, as well as the one that seemed most engineered to satisfy the company's fan base.  Apart from possibly Finn Balor, nobody but Shinsuke should have even stood a chance at winning the match, and even then, Nakamura vs. Styles is the dream match fans have been waiting to see.  WWE were smart and waited for the right time, to give the match a good build and the biggest possible stage to be seen on.  Everything about this is shaping up to be a classic, which is hardly a surprise given AJ and Shinuke's past match in New Japan living up to that very title.  On the other side of things, the Rumble itself was about as good as it gets given the nature of the match.  None of the competitors were wastes of time, and the fan favorites, save Dolph Ziggler, were booked incredibly well.  Best of all, in this particular Rumble at least, there was no McMahon/Helmsley ego stroking to be seen at all.  As expected, Daniel Bryan did not make an appearance.

Big Vin Vader covers WWE for Pencilstorm. Follow@Bigvinvader

Pencilstorm Exclusive: Cavs Team Meeting Transcript and Trade Deadline Preview - by Ben Galli

Pencilstorm Exclusive!  We’ve received a transcript of the latest Cavs team meeting.  No, not the infamous one from a couple weeks ago.  Nope, this is from a very recent meeting that someone from LeBron’s production team hasn’t even leaked yet.

Scene: The Cavs practice facility.  Several players listlessly stand around.  Although this mirrors his defensive drills, Ty Lue is nowhere to be seen.  Neither is any member of the Cavs management.  Save for one.  He stands up in the center of the room and calls the meeting to order.

LeBron James:  Men, the great and ancient Roman king dude in Gladiator, Marcus Aurelius, once said:  Do not ask what LeBron will do next offseason, ask what you can do to help LeBron win this season.  For all men must perish but it is the days that they live that determine if they will be remem-

Random 5th Grader:  [interrupts]  Yo, yo, wait, is Kevin Love really injured?  Man, I’ve faked injuries before when it looked like my team was gonna get swept and this feels just like that.

[The 5th Grader is revealed to be none other than Isaiah Thomas.]

Everyone else in room:  [eyes roll simultaneously]

Kevin Love:  I feel like I should say something to defend myself or LeBron will be mad at me again.  But I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can contribute and make this team better.  You know what? Maybe trading me is the best move right now.  Here, [unfolds a piece of paper], here’s a list of teams I wrote out. I’m a West Coast guy with ties to Portland and L.A. so I prefer that, but any big city wouldn’t be bad.  I can’t play for a bunch of weeks anyway, why not trade me for someone that can help now? [crosses his fingers behind his back]

Derrick Rose:  I love taking weeks off.  Where’s this West Coast?  Sounds Spanish. Do they like Adidas?

Isaiah Thomas:  Rose, you dummy.  You can’t come to a new team and then just say whatever you want out of turn as if you’ve earned the right to do that.

JR Smith:  Even I have more self-awareness than this.

Iman Shumpert:  [practicing 25 foot fadeaways] I don’t.  

LeBron:  [Simply stares ahead with no expression.  A single tear runs down his face.]

Isaiah:  Man, people on this team literally crying and they say I’m the one that doesn’t care just because I’m calling out y’alls lack of effort and selfishness.  Why is everyone blaming me and saying I’m self-centered when I’m just pointing out how everyone else is probably making me look bad. I can’t do everything, I’m only 5 foot 9.  

Channing Frye, Kyle Korver:  [make eye contact with LeBron] Can we?

[LeBron nods back.  Korver and Frye take Thomas by the ears and gently place him in Tristan Thompson’s bejewelled, fur-lined purse.  The purse is then carried to Dan Gilbert’s office and placed next to his Trade Suggestion Box]

[The meeting ends now.]

It’s obvious to most people that the Cavs are not playing well.  Their defense is especially offensive and they’re getting embarrassed by good teams.  The trade deadline is a few days away (Thursday, February 8th at 3pm EST) and all eyes will be on the Cavs.  There’s growing favorability for the once laughed-at opinion that the Cavs would not make it out of the Eastern Conference.  Here’s a few thoughts on the rumored moves Cleveland could and should make.

Isaiah Thomas - I was not aware of the character issues that are now evident in the Cavs newest star. Last year it seemed Boston loved him, he was much celebrated, and no matter how you look at it, nearly 30 points per game from a 5’9" guy is pretty impressive.  But there have been signs:

Thomas has worn out his welcome at every stop in his relatively short 8 year career.  It’s evident that even with impressive stats, the teams he’s been on didn’t see him as part of their future.  He’s been traded from Sacramento, Phoenix, and Boston.  It didn’t look like Boston’s Danny Ainge had any intention on giving Thomas the kind of money he was seeking and after a hip injury, those chances were lessened considerably.  

Boston’s luck has turned around something fierce since 2001 and Ainge got a gift that would set his team up for championship contention for the next decade when he was able to center Thomas in a package that netted him arguably the East’s best point guard in the Cav’s Kyrie Irving.

But even more so than that, Thomas’ recent comments to the media were eye-opening.  Full of pointing fingers and deflecting blame, both behind the scenes and in public, Thomas displayed the type of character that is anathema to any winning organization.  Winners look within. (Source: Pat Riley).  Accountability, responsibility, and effort cannot be compromised and Thomas has exemplified the opposite.

Of course any story about the Cavs centers around LeBron. It’s pretty much LeBron and everything else.  Dan Gilbert’s situation (which he put himself in) is this:  He’s messed up the LeBron extension at least for now.  It seems more and more likely every day that LeBron is LeGone and he couldn’t keep Kyrie either.  He might see Isaiah’s stats and think he might be a marketable star that maybe Cleveland should invest in but that’s not gonna sit well with the Cleveland faithful that have very much turned on him.  

Thomas doesn’t seem fully recovered from the hip injury that kept him out until recently, and now, even if Gilbert wanted to trade him, teams (at least smart ones) are not going to want to give up much for such a questionable player.  Especially one that will be a free agent this summer.  

So much for that Kyrie trade being somewhat fair.  Danny Ainge embarrassed the Cavs with that one.  I think the Cavs should hope a playoff-contending team wants to give up a lesser piece maybe with a draft pick(s) in exchange for Thomas, who can still be a great scorer off the bench.

However, I don’t think the Cavs trade him unless they get a bigger name and will just hope he can work his issues out.  Jordan Clarkson, the Lakers 6th man, has been rumored to have the Cav’s interest and although he’s a weak defensive player, he’d probably be a much welcome respite to Cavs fans.  Think a better Ramon Sessions with decent upside.

DeAndre Jordan - There have been heavy rumors that the Cavs and Clippers are interested in a trade.  The Clippers probably want the Cavs’ Nets pick which creates their next conundrum.  If LeBron isn’t staying, shouldn’t they keep that likely lottery pick in a very deep draft?  And on the other hand, if trading that pick might increase the chance LeBron stays, should they waste it on the likes of DeAndre Jordan?  

Jordan would be a big upgrade to whatever the Cavs are trying to do at center but how much could he really fix their defense?  And it’s not like he’s a major force on the offensive end outside of alley oops and dunks.  He might be a poor man’s Dwight Howard on that end.  

Dealing for Jordan is kind of like making a move just to say you did something.  Who knows how positive an impact he’ll have.  The Cavs shouldn’t trade that Brooklyn pick unless they get at least a young, star player.

Kevin Love - Love was apparently almost traded before the season started.  Pretty sure Kevin Love didn’t really care either way.  I would be more surprised to see Kevin Love sign an extension with the Cavs than I would be to see the Browns win the Super Bowl next year. (Okay, maybe win 4 games.)  But with Love being out a month and a half, what kind of team would want to trade for him?  

Surely not a team that’s currently playoff contending and needs a push over the edge.  I do see teams that maybe want a star for next year being interested in bringing in Love.  I also see Love having interest in Portland where he grew up and went to high school, and Los Angeles where he was born and went to college.  

But down in Orlando, it looks like the Magic are somewhat intent on trading Aaron Gordon (who’s having a career year) ahead of his restricted free agency coming up.  That would not be a bad move for the Cavs future but I see the Cavs sticking with Love at least until this postseason ends.  

I do see a potential trade coming up after the season ends that might make sense for both sides.  That's Kevin Love going to Portland in exchange for Northeast Ohio product, C.J. McCollum.  Blazers throw in that expensive Evan Turner contract and Cleveland now has a couple guys that might want to stay in town.

One player that just became available and that I think the Cavs should pick up, is Tony “Grit and Grind” Allen who just got traded to the Bulls in the Nikola Mrotic deal.  That guy knows grit, grind, and defense.  Cavs need that in spades and Allen can light a fire.

The Cavs also need another ball-handling point guard which makes it hard for them to trade Isaiah Thomas without getting one in return.  But Ricky Rubio is apparently not fitting in Utah and he’s a pretty good defender and incredible passer that would be better than Thomas in Cleveland.

So the Cavs would love to get rid of Thomas but have to save face because of the Kyrie deal which means they need to get something big in return. It also seems like they want to get rid of the J.R. Smith and Tristan Thompson contracts but may need to throw in the Brooklyn pick to do so.  Not an enviable position when you have unrealistic hopes of keeping the greatest star your franchise has ever known.

My prediction:  The Cavs keep the Brooklyn pick but make at least one trade that will not go over very well with the fans.  But if they get something for Thomas, especially if they somehow send him to Orlando for Gordon, they can save some face.

What Kind Of Jack-Ass Actually Wants To Go To The Super Bowl? - by Colin G.

Unless you are a fan of the Broncos or Seahawks, what kind of jack-ass would you be to attend Super Bowl XXXVVVIIII? (Or whatever# it is.) Look, I consider myself a pretty big sports fan. I'm not quite the guy who screams down officials at youth sporting events or wears team jerseys with other dude's names on them, but I do play fantasy baseball, football and basketball. And one time while driving alone from Detroit to Columbus I listened to the NFL Draft and the OSU Spring football game on the radio for the entire four hours. Basically, I walk a fine line between "sports loser" and "total sports loser." Still, for the life of me, I can't understand the appeal of the Super Bowl. Especially this year at fabulous Met Life stadium in the chilly swamps of New Jersey. 

OK, imagine it is Super Bowl Sunday you are sitting cozy at the bar DJ Reynolds in Midtown Manhattan. Your pal walks up, "Dude I just scored two pretty good tickets to the Super Bowl tonight. Face value!!! Want to go?"

Hmmm. Let's pretend the tickets aren't terrible but in lower price range, say $1,000 apiece. That probably gets you goal line seats in the second deck. Mind you, those same tics would be going for $2,000 on Stubhub, so this is a pretty good deal.

The conversation continues:

"Come on man, all we have to do is catch the bus to the game at the Waldorf Hotel five blocks away. It's only $51 and just a two hour ride. It drops you off right at the stadium."

"So you want me to spend a grand, take a two hour bus ride to sit outside and watch a five hour football game? And then have to wait in line to catch the bus back? And even worse, sit through Anthony Kiedis' insufferable monotone rapping for the half time show? I can think of better ways to spend a thousand bucks in NYC. Thanks but no thanks. Grab me another space beer, Klee - Klop."

But let's forget the money. Imagine the same scenario except the Super Bowl tickets are free. You heard me, FREE SUPER BOWL TICKETS! Still, doubtful I am riding the bus out to that game. Once again, thanks but no thanks. I'm good right here in front of the TV.

This cuts to the core problem of the Super Bowl. It is by far the worst championship of the major sports. I would ride a bus to the World Series, Stanley Cup, NBA Title Game, Final Four, Rose Bowl, The Masters.....so forth and so on. I would even ride to the NFC/AFC Conference title games. At least those are in home stadiums with real fans. But the Super Bowl? Nah.....

The Super Bowl has turned into one giant circle jerk for Corporate America. Not that I have a problem with that per se, it's just that sitting through one bazillion television time-outs drinking with Jonah Hill's character from "Wolf of Wall Street" just doesn't scratch my itch. The insipid media coverage the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl just serves to remind me how overblown our sports culture has become and how embarrassed I am to be a part of it. Think of what could be done to improve schools and help the homeless with the time and resources used to stage this one football game? Alas...

So yes, I will watch the game somewhere, but no, don't ask me which commercial I liked, I won't be watching. As for the halftime show, Bruno Mars will be pretty good and the Chili Peppers will suck except for "Give it Away." For all you gamblers, that is a my lead pipe lock of the day.

Colin Gawel owns Colin's Coffee and plays in the band Watershed. Sometimes he writes things for Pencilstorm just for the hell of it. Learn more about him and our other contributors by clicking here,

Bruno Mars @ The Super Bowl by Ricki C.

I was contracted by Pencilstorm to critique the Bruno Mars halftime performance at the Super Bowl, but first I’d like to refute a coupla points Colin made in his “What kind of jack-ass actually wants to go to the Super Bowl?” post, the main one being that the Super Bowl is not American Sports' Greatest Championship, which I happen to believe it is.

First, and let me be clear up-front, I am a professional football fan.  I don’t really enjoy the college game, it just strikes me that college football players never really look like they’re trying very hard.  (My Sunday Night NFL friends Kyle & Rob - both of whom actually like college football, O.S.U. in particular - begged me not to put that sentence in print, but I stand by it.)  (That being said, I’m not answering any knocks at my door the next week or ten days, in case Michael “Biggie” McDermott is hiding in the bushes, waiting to punch me in the throat.)

I like my football liberally sprinkled with million-dollar paychecks, commercial endorsements, greedy owners (who will at least admit their greed, unlike college presidents & athletic directors who reap untold MILLIONS of dollars off of their “student athletes”), steroids, concussions & painkillers.  Plus the NFL season is short, succinct and to the point, just like the best rock & roll.  The NFL season starts in the fall and ends in the winter, unlike the Endless Slog Bataan Death March that the Major League Baseball season has become, wherein the games commence in April and end in November with snowflakes flying and die-hard baseball fans bundled up like extras in an Antarctic documentary.  Baseball should begin when the birds start singing in the spring and the last game of the World Series should be played the day before elementary school starts.  Case closed.

Also, as my good friend Rob points out, the entire NFL playoff season is accomplished in three tidy weekends, one & done, you lose and you’re out.  It’s not the NBA where all but six teams make the playoffs, or the NHL, where the Stanley Cup is still being contested when baseball season opens, a situational sports overlap that should not be tolerated.  Hockey & baseball just do not mix.  Dropping the puck and throwing out the first pitch are not contemporaneous in a Rational World.

But I digress….Bruno Mars:

Mars’ halftime show was just as underwhelming as this year’s Super Bowl game.  (Which I enjoyed, once I adjusted to the fact that my Steelers, Packers and Saints were nowhere to be found and threw in my lot with Brian Phillips’ Seahawks, just so his family would be safe in February.)  When Mars was first announced as the Super Bowl halftime “entertainment” I had serious reservations, doubts and questions: 1) Had we really used up every classic-rock act – your Tom Petty’s, your Bruce Springsteen’s, your Rolling Stones’, your Aerosmith’s, your Who’s – that we had to resort to the likes of Bruno Mars?  2) Would the Great Unwashed of football-watching, wing-chomping masses even know who Bruno Mars was?  (Not everyone suffers through the Grammy’s or other “awards” shows of their ilk like I do.)  3) Worst of all, does this mean I’m facing a future where I might have to sit through the likes of Mumford & Sons, Imagine Dragons, or Arcade Fire during halftime of the Super Bowl?  Christ, I’d watch a high-school marching band playing Foreigner tunes like back in the day before I’d subject myself to that.

Anyway, Mars delivered his usual “I-think-I’m-Prince-for-the-21st-century” act, complete with unison step routines for the band and the obligatory James Brown dance cops.  (It just kinda made me miss Wendy & Lisa.)  (And oddly, Prince himself guested on Zooey Deschanel’s “New Girl” right after the Super Bowl, effortlessly making Bruno Mars appear the wannabe that he is.)

Mars began the show playing drums, briefly leading me to believe he was going to challenge the late Karen Carpenter as pop music’s Greatest Lead-Singing Drummer.  (For those of you scoring at home: Dick Dodd of The Standells - of “Dirty Water” fame - was rock & roll’s greatest lead-singing drummer.)  (Am I forgetting/overlooking Don Henley of The Eagles, one might ask?  Don’t make me laugh. That millionaire egomaniac sucks.)  Mars and the band moved through “Locked Out Of Heaven” and “Treasure” pleasantly enough, prompting my buddy Kyle to comment, “White girls know ALL the words to Bruno Mars’ songs.”  

By 8:16 pm, when The Red Hot Chili Peppers appear for their guest-spot on “Give It Away,” we’re all just kinda waiting for this debacle to be over, just as Peyton Manning and the rest of the Broncos were probably doing.  Flea and Anthony Kiedis take the stage shirtless and the best thing I can think is, “At least, thank God, they’re in relatively good shape and it’s not Roger Daltrey of The Who baring his pale, bumpy, 60-something year-old chest.”    

Mars ends his Super Bowl show with “Just The Way You Are,” a BALLAD, for Chrissakes.  You clamber all the way up the pop ladder to appear for no pay at the Super Bowl and finish your set with a BALLAD?  Come on, Bruno.  (Kyle comments, “Bruno is now tied with Billy Joel for the worst song called “Just The Way You Are.”)

Anyway, ending his appearance with a romantic, heart-wrenching ballad apparently brought tears to the eyes of the Broncos kick-off team, making it impossible for them to see the Seahawks’ Percy Harvin clearly, thus enabling him to run back the opening kick of the second half for a game-clinching touchdown, and ending the Broncos season really, really early.

Please God, don’t make me watch Daft Punk or Robin Thicke at next year’s Super Bowl. – Ricki C. / February 3rd, 2014.

Brian Phillips with the Greatest Old School NFL Films Collection Ever. Watch! (This Constitutes Pencilstorm's Complete Super Bowl Pre-Game Coverage.)

Originally published January 2016. You should watch it every year. It's great. 

My God, aren't you sick to death of Super Bowl hype? This year has been miserable, and hell, my Seattle Seahawks are in the the damned game! Between the deflated balls and people crying real tears because Marshawn Lynch won't talk to them, I just can't take it anymore. I'll turn on the TV Sunday at 6:30 pm. just as the opening kick sails through the dry Arizona air, but that'll be about it. What I provide below is a fun distraction from all this garbage if you are in need. I know I am.

The National Football League is a many-tentacled behemoth, but for some reason they've chosen a hands-off approach to the myriad of blurry old games from the 70's and 80's on You Tube. There's some real treasures there, saved for decades and lovingly uploaded. How long will these time capsules be allowed to exist? It's anyone's guess, so I suggest you have at it while there's still time.

Our rules are simple: 1) NO NFL Films productions. Those are top-flight to be sure, but to really get a feel for what a game was like, we need the over-the-air broadcast. Bonus points if the source left the commercials in. Those are their own kind of fun. 2) We won't be looking at any video 1990 and later. More bonus points, of course, for anything from the 70's. Since the long-obsolete Betamax was introduced to the market in 1975, and the VCR in 1976 (also long-obsolete when you think about it, except for at Ricki C.'s house ) HUGE bonus points for pre-'75 material. I don't know how, but it's out there, as you'll see. 

These are in no particular order of importance. Please share fun ones you find, especially games you remember seeing. The mind is a funny thing, and you'll be amazed by what you've forgotten, and by the same token you'll shake your head at things you thought happened that didn't.

January 4, 1981 Oakland Raiders at Cleveland Browns. AFC Divisional Playoff.

This game had everything! A  minus-37 degree wind chill, legends like John Matusak, Lester Hayes, and Lyle Alzado, the great Don Criqui on play by play and quite possibly the worst kicking performance in NFL history. Kids, the Browns' Don Cockroft was one of a dying breed: the straight- on kicker. You'll laugh out loud as he misses an extra point and two other field goals. Due to Cockroft's ineptitude the Browns passed up what would have been the game winner with :41 seconds left, and instead ran the infamous Red Right 88.

You'll see the predictable result at the 34 minute mark of part 3 above. The end to yet another sad chapter in Cleveland sports history. 

A side note: If you watch carefully one of the crowd shots features two Cleveland fans sharing a flask of booze in cavernous old Cleveland Stadium. Think to yourself how different the NFL is now. In 1981 the stadium was filled with drunken working stiffs instead of today's drunken rich guys. And do you think today's NFL would just allow piles of snow to remain close enough that the players run knee deep into them out of bounds? Hell no! This was real football. 

I Didn't Go To Bed Until Halftime Highlights Was Over. October 22, 1973.

I never missed Howard Cosell's Halftime Highlights on Monday Night Football as a kid. I begged my parents to let me stay up to see them. In those days there was no ESPN. You got the games you got on Sunday and didn't see much of anything from the others. Fun fact: 1973 was the first season where you could see your local team if the game was sold out. Up until then it didn't matter. Not even the Super Bowl could air live in your town if your team was in it. Commissioner Pete Rozell wouldn't back down even when President Nixon called for the blackout to be lifted so he could see the Skins and Dolphins in Super Bowl 7. Can you imagine! The owners had no idea what a gold mine they were sitting on. 

Anyway the above gem is from week 6 (Raiders/Broncos) of the 1973 season. The Sunday highlights begin at the 3:30 mark with the Colts and Lions from Tiger Stadium. The Lions mascot is hilarious in his raggedy Halloween get up. The goal posts were still in the front of the end zone and the crowd noise in the package was a cheap loop. Classic!

December 23, 1972 The Immaculate Reception. Oakland at Pittsburgh. AFC Divisional Playoff. 

Okay, I cheated a bit. You can tell by the modern bug on the screen that this was a rebroadcast by NBC at some point. Still it's such an important moment in league history it's worth pointing out. The legendary Curt Gowdy on the call.

December 31, 1983. Seattle Seahawks at Miami Dolphins. AFC Divisional Playoff.

After crushing the hated Denver Broncos in the AFC Wild Card game for Seattle's first-ever playoff victory, the 9-7 Seahawks traveled to Miami as heavy underdogs to the 12-4 Fish. Marv Albert is on the call as Dave Krieg immediately kicks off this video by throwing an awful interception. After the Dolphins score Steve Largent makes a couple of huge catches (he didn't make his first of the day until the 2:25 mark of the 4th quarter!) and Curt Warner seals it to send Seattle off to the AFC Championship Game. Also: Chuck Knox!

(Note: You might be confused at the 8:15 mark. This video seems to be right off the satellite as it includes booth banter during a break. Sadly Marv doesn't say anything weird.)

Monday December 11, 1972. Live From The Moon. Jets at Raiders.

This portion of Monday Night Football is extraordinary because it begins with the end of an ABC News live report on the final Apollo Mission to the moon. That's followed by Glen freaking Campbell singing the national anthem and then Joe Willie Namath and the Jets in the East Bay to take on The Raiders. As long as we're on the space travel kick, you'll note the man they said came from the University Of Mars Otis Sistrunk was an Oakland rookie. Opening with a blimp shot seems anti-climatic after watching men on the moon, eh?

December 28, 1975. Dallas Cowboys at Minnesota Vikings. NFC Divisional Playoff

I couldn't find much of the "Hail Mary" Game, but this is the best part anyway. Staubach heaves up a bomb to Drew Pearson for the winner. 

Bonus! The NFL Today pre game live from Metropolitan Stadium! 

Yessir! Brent Musberger, Irv Cross, and the smoking hot Phyllis George. Ads included and a cheesy "making of the NFL Today" feature. 

December 26, 1970. Detroit Lions at Dallas Cowboys. NFC Divisional Playoff.

This game is only noteworthy because it's damned hard to find any over-the-air footage of something this old. We find Frank Gifford before he went to work for Monday Night Football and his harpy wife Cathy Lee was probably still in the Baptist kids choir. All that said, this may well be the most boring playoff game in history as the Cowboys beat the Lions 5-0. The video mercifully ends with the opening kick-off. 

Well, this is funny. I found the post-game too.

A young Dick Stockton handles the highlights and an excruciatingly long interview with coach Tom Landry. At the 2:45 mark you see what might be the first-ever Gatoraid commercial. 

December 12, 1982. Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots. The Snow Plow Game.

This seems like a good place to stop. Before there was Deflategate, Spygate, and The Tuck Rule there was The Snowplow Game. John Smith kicked the game winner in a 3-0 victory after a work-release inmate named Mark Henderson plowed a bare spot on the Schaeffer Stadium turf. Coach Don Shula would protest the game to no avail, though the league would pass a rule several months later banning snow plows during games. Today the tractor hangs from the roof of the Patriots Hall Of Fame. What is it with this team?! Anyway, sorry for the lousy footage here, it was all I could find.