And I Just Bought Owen a Trent Richardson Jersey For His 10th Birthday...

I just bought my son a Trent Richardson jersey so I am probably taking this latest round of Browns stupidity harder than most, but this trade, as Bob Mould might say, makes no sense at all. Actually, it almost feels like the Browns front office are out to intentionally destroy the franchise. Kind of like the way the U.S House of Representatives actively work to ruin my life. But I digress...

2012 NFL Draft Recap: The Browns trade the 37th overall pick and the #4 pick to move up ONE spot to draft running back Trent Richardson. Draft QB Brandon Weeden #23 in the first road.

Why this is stupid: The NFL is no longer a running league so picking a running back this high is a dubious decision no matter what. The fact that the Browns traded a pick away to a team that didn't have any interest in drafting a running back (Vikings) just to move up one spot is just flat out being taken for suckers. 

As for Weeden, his faults were (and are) well documented but basically, the Browns drafted an immobile 29 year old QB who didn't take ONE snap under center in his entire college career to have him play under center and run the West coast offense behind a creaky O line armed with sub-par receivers.

Fast Forward to Now. Browns trade Richardson to Colts for 2014 1st round pick. Probably somewhere 18-28. Browns lose confidence in Weeden finally conceding what everybody else already knew, he isn't a franchise quarterback.

Why this is stupid: Just last year Richardson was good enough for you to trade away a pick to move up one lousy spot and now, just 18 games later, you trade him for a late first round pick? And you get no player in return when your roster needs bodies at multiply positions.  Ugh.

 "Ok, smart guy, what would you do?"

 I'm just some dude at a  coffee shop but I am going to unlock the secret of the NFL Draft for the Browns front office. It has been statistically proven that there is ZERO difference in production between the top three players taken at their position in the NFL draft. Yes, you read that right, there is no difference in productivity between the 1st running back taken in the draft versus #2 or #3. This rule applies to all positions. Nerdy number crunching guys have figured all this out, just like 1 + 1 = 2.

What is different is the money and draft picks you have to give up to draft a player #1 at his position. It is more expensive to draft high and in a league with a salary cap, this matters. So, identify the top three players at a position of need, and make sure you get one of those, preferably #3 because you will pay less and get the same production. Follow? 

EX: 2012 Draft Browns took Trent Richardson #3 overall. The next two running backs taken were Doug Martin at #31 and David Wilson #32.  

Brandon Weeden was the 4th QB off the board. Not a spot where you would typically find a franchise QB . Taken before him were Andrew Luck, RG3 and Ryan Tannehill

So in keeping with the top 3 rule, the Browns should have drafted Ryan Tannehill and Doug Wilson and they would still have had the #37 pick to spend on somebody useful and spent less money giving them more flexibility with roster moves.   

If you want to learn more about all this mucky-muck, pick up a copy of the book Scorecasting. It's essay on the NFL Draft is a must read. Man, I wish some of those dumb jocks running the Browns bothered to read a book once and while. 

It's not all doom and gloom though. On the upside, the Browns are now well positioned for 2014  and with two first round picks they should be able to finally fill those two nagging positions of need QB and RB. Oh wait, just last year we had two first round picks last year and we drafted a QB and RB. Oh well. 

 Colin Gawel blasted this out with coffee shop customers in his ear, so If you want something better than a rush job, please visit Grantland.

Reelin and Rockin @ the Gateway Turns Two! Twenty Four Rock Movies and Counting..

Two years ago, my pal (and CD1025 DJ) Brian Phillips and myself had a dream. We wanted to watch more rock documentaries and drink more beer, but noticed jobs, families and responsibilities were increasingly disrupting our best laid plans.

So we hatched the ultimate caper. What if we could find a really cool movie house to let us borrow a theater one Wednesday a month, and then we will bring some people out for a happy hour followed by a screening of kick ass rock movie?  And to top it all off, all the proceeds would go to charity.  Win - Win!

Thankfully, CD102.5 and the good folks at the Gateway Film Center took us up on our offer and Wednesday September 18th we will be celebrating our two year anniversary of "Reelin and Rockin" at the Gateway Film Center" with The Rolling Stones classic "Gimmie Shelter".  Drinks at Upstairs bar 7 pm, movie at 8.This was actually our first movie shown those twenty four months ago, but it is so good, we had to show it again. 

If you haven't made it out to "Reelin and Rockin" in the past two years, here is what you have missed. (loser) 

Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter / Wilco - I Am Trying to Break Your Heart / The Band - The Last Waltz / Ramones - End of The Century / The Other F- Word / Joe Strummer - The Future is Unwritten / It Might Get Loud / Morphine - Cure For Pain, The Mark Sandman Story / Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park / This is Spinal Tap / Marley _ The Bob Marley Story / Iggy and The Stooges Raw Power / The Tom Synder Punk Rock Interviews / Rolling Stones - Some Girls Live in Texas / The Replacements - Color Me Obsessed / Johnny Cash's America / I'm Now - The Story of Mudhoney / Rolling Stones - Charlie is My Darling / Sound City (Dave Grohl) / Flogging Molly - Whiskey on a Sunday / Anvil - The Story of Anvil / Searching For Sugar Man / Sex Pistols - Filth and The Fury / DIG! / Big Star - Nothing Can Hurt Me / Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter.

I get a little misty eyed looking at this list and I am sure I can speak for Brian when I say thanks to everybody who has come out and helped us with our little film series. It's about as much fun as a grown music geek can have on the third Wednesday of every month.  - Colin G.

Please Click here for the Reelin and Rockin Facebook Page

You can learn more about Colin Gawel and Brian Phillips by visiting the Pencilstorm Contributors page by clicking here. 

Roid Tide? Alabama Football Sure Fits the Steroid Profile

Just to be clear, I am not accusing Nick Saban of running a clandestine steroid program at the University of Alabama, but if it turned out to be true, would it really be a big surprise? Not really. It would rank pretty low on the sports shock meter. Surely below Penn State, Lance, Roger&Barry& Ryan and even Manti T'eo's non girlfriend for pure jaw-dropping WTF? -ness.

Still, shall we ponder the question? We shall! We Shall!

Are the numbers a little too good to be true?

   A home run title stands unchallenged for 40 years and then suddenly gets broken 10 times in 3 years. Hmm. A dude with cancer wins the Tour Dr France forty times in a row. Really? A washed up pitcher puts on 30 pounds of muscle and throws harder at 38 than he did at 28. Odd. An NFL linebacker suffers a possible career ending muscle tear and returns 12 months ahead of recovery schedule to star in the Super Bowl. Who woulda thunk it?

In the past five years the  Alabama Crimson Tide under head coach Nick Saban have a record of 62 - 7 with THREE national titles. All this while playing in what is considered the toughest football conference in the universe, the SEC. Wow! That is amazing. How could they do it? What a coach! What a team! What is the secret? 

Do Your Eyeballs Suspect Something Fishy?

 Remember when Alabama mauled Michigan to open the 2012 season? The result of the game wasn't noteworthy as Michigan sucks. However, I watched the game with some friends drinking beer at a lake house and the boozy commentary went something like this, "Look at Alabama! God they are so big, so fast. Michigan looks like a middle school team standing next to them. Jesus, Alabama's receivers are bigger than Michigan's linebackers.. . Why are Alabama's running backs always so jacked? Lacy is bigger than Richardson and neither was even that big of a recruit. I'm glad our (insert your favorite team) isn't playing them. They look unstoppable. Look at them. Just look at them!".  

Certainly, the Tide have recruited well (wink wink, nudge nudge) finishing with the top class twice in the past seven years since Saban took over, but filling a full football roster is a hit and miss affair. Ask Texas, Florida, FSU or USC how their top rated recruiting classes have been performing recently?  Point is, good recruiting is imperative but using PEDs give you an extra edge, take you over the top. It takes a good player and makes them great. I could take steroids all the live long day and never hit a ball far enough to be a home run. Barry Bonds on the other hand goes from Hall of Fame caliber to other-worldly. 

Motive and Opportunity? (well, duh)

College football is about as cut throat as it gets in the sporting world. The Crimson Tide had suffered through a miserable decade and Coach Saban had been a failure in the NFL before being lured back to the sidelines with Bama in 2008 and an enormous multi year contract making him the richest coach in college football.

Let's just say there was major pressure on both the new coach and the institution to win and win big in a timely fashion. Interests were aligned.

Could they get away with it? Absolutely. There are countless ways to dope up for an advantage, testing only works if the invesitgators know what they are testing for. The entire Lance Armstrong Postal cycling team was passing tests for over a decade before the truth was revealed. Or if you want to learn more about steroids than you will ever need to know, read "Game of Shadows" which blew the lid of Balco and the Bay area drug users. Half of the United States Olympic track team was using a substance known as "the clear" and only got caught because a rival coach fished a syringe out of a trash can after sprinter Tim Montgomery suddenly picked up a step in the 100 yard dash. If not for that syringe, "the clear" could have gone undetected for who knows how long. Marion Jones might still be winning medals and Barry Bonds head may still be growing. 

I know Alabama is in the SEC, but still, it is a university afterall so I assume there must at least a couple nerdy science types on campus looking to help the football team and get seats closer to the 50 yard line in the process.

And as for keeping it a secret....

If Penn State can keep quiet the fact that the defensive co-ordinator was raping little boys in the football showers for over a decade, I'll assume "mum's the word" on steroids in small town Tuscaloosa. Who would have incentive to rat the program out? The team is winning, the coach is happy, the money is flowing, and more Tide players are being drafted into the NFL then ever before. If some carpet bagging scoundrel did actually spill the beans and ruin the program, It's safe to assume something would be getting poisoned and this time it wouldn't just be a tree.

So this weekend while you watch "Johnny Football" get chased all over the field by those Alabama avatars, you would be wise to remember an old adage that never goes out of style, especially in the world of big money sports: "If something is too good to be true, it usually is". 

Colin Gawel plays in the band Watershed. You can read all about him in the acclaimed memoir "Hitless Wonder" by Joe Oestreich. He also writes for and manages the website Pencilstorm in between serving customers at Colin's Coffee, so if the writing could be a little better, please get off his ass. Please visit our contributors page to learn more.

Jimmy Mak Wrote This The Morning After 9/11. You Can Read It Today.

Message: SEPTEMBER 11, 2001

I was supposed to be at work at 8:30 for a meeting, a meeting I had called, a meeting I was in charge of, a meeting … I had completely forgotten about. I sauntered into the office at nine and casually headed to my desk. My fellow manager immediately gave me grief about the meeting and how this kind of thing simply can not happen. “Shit!” Not a good way to start off the morning. 

At 9:15 I was hard at work, a little depressed that people had come in early counting on me and I had let them down. Suddenly, I heard some talk outside the office of a plane that had hit one of the twin towers at the world trade center. It didn’t mean anything to me. I immediately thought, “Jesus, that sucks,” but thought of it in the same way I would about a car crash I hear on the news. I couldn’t believe I missed that stupid meeting. I kept working.

Someone suddenly called out, “Hey man, you should come listen to this.” I walked out of my office and saw staff members sitting there, listening to the radio. Another plane had hit the other tower. Then we heard that a plane hit the Pentagon. Then a plane crashed outside of Pittsburgh, PA. My eyes started darting back and forth. What the hell? We … we were under attack. Today. No warning. I caught myself looking up for no reason. What the hell was going on? One of the towers collapsed. Then the other one. People dead. Twin towers … gone. We all just … just sat there. Impotent.
I expected the attacks to go on all day, but they didn’t. Four planes. The rest were accounted for. Hours went by. It was over. 

My wife and I work together and at about three in the afternoon we took a walk outside. Just to … to get away from the madness. We walked to one of the benches that outlined a fountain in the town square. The fountain was a large square on ground level where water would randomly spurt out at different places. Parents would always bring their children there in bathing suits and let them play. Today it was empty except for one older gentleman, easily in his late sixties, and he was walking a little girl, who looked to be about three, through the fountain. Every time the water spurt, the little girl would laugh-scream and the older man would quicken his step until they were safe outside the square. Then they would turn around and head back toward the danger, he walking right behind her, she reaching up and holding his fingers so as not to fall.

My wife closed her body into mine and rested her head on my shoulder. The sky was perfect blue, dark and bright at the same time, comic book blue. And the yellows and reds and greens of the surrounding buildings made everything a cartoon. Trees rustled peacefully and I closed my eyes, listening to the sudden sounds of water splashing and a small girl laughing and with my wife in my arms, I thought, “Everything is perfect.” 

Then I heard a new sound and when I opened my eyes I saw a plane in the sky and my heart started beating faster and I just froze, watching the white streak stain a scar across the sky and the sadness overwhelmed me because I knew. It was all different now. Everything was different.

Jimmy Mak is the head writer for Shadowbox Live, the largest resident theater company in America. Learn More at Shadowboxlive.org

Columbus Shines As USMNT Home Again by Brian Phillips

Just finished watching USA/Mexico. Unbelievable atmosphere at Crew Stadium tonight! Make no mistake, there are newer, fancier stadiums, but player for player and on up the chain of command at U.S. Soccer Columbus is their home. 

As I write Honduras leads Panama 1-0 early in the second half. If the score holds the U.S. will get through to Brazil next summer for the finals. And in four years the national team will return to Crew Stadium again. 

As for Mexico, I continue to be baffled by their qualifying this year. No wins at home, and when they simply had to have a result tonight, they showed little after the first 20 or so minutes. They have too many top flight players to play this poorly. At this point, barring a miracle, Mexico will have to do a home and home total goals series with New Zealand to get in. Can you imagine that road trip?  

And bam, as I write Panama draws to 1-1 in the second half. Horrible news for Mexico. Panama stands a point behind them and would move into a tie if they can make 1-1 hold. 

Hey Fools, Check Out Erica Blinn's New Video "Whiskey Kisses".

If you have been hanging around Pencilstorm you should be familiar with Erica Blinn by now. You may have seen her onstage opening for Watershed, blowing harp with the Lonely Bones or just standing by the merch table discussing the merits of Thin Lizzy with Ricki C.

At any rate, she is a full fledged rock n roll bad ass fronting her own band, The Handsome Machine. She just released a new single and video, "Whiskey Kisses". Check it out below. It is an advance single off her debut full length album "Lovers in the Dust" to be released in January 2014.

She is touring all the time so make sure to visit ericablinn.com to keep up on all of her happenings. She is going places and one day you will be able to say "i knew her when..." 

Whiskey Kisses is the new single by Erica Blinn from her new album "Lovers In The Dust".