The Perfect Age For Rock & Roll, part one by Ricki C.

Everybody probably thinks they’re the perfect age for rock & roll, because about the time all of us hit 12 or 13 years old we get imprinted with the music, movies, books, (grandpa Ricki, what were books?) etc. that we will love throughout our lifetimes, and naturally think our choices are the best.  As I type this sentence, I am 61 years old and would like to present my case for why I am the perfect age for rock & roll.

I was born in 1952, meaning, first off, I am actually OLDER than rock & roll is. (Rock historians quibble endlessly about what the first “rock & roll” record was – from Ike Turner’s “Rocket 88” in 1951, or Ray Brown’s “Good Rockin’ Tonight” from 1947, but let’s face facts, Bill Haley’s “Rock Around The Clock” from 1954 was where things really got started as far as lily-white teenagers were concerned, and then came The Elvis.)

One big rock & roll advantage I had over my peers was that I was the baby of my family: my sister and brother are 7 and 10 years older than me, which means that when I was five years old in 1957 I was already being blasted by “All Shook Up” by Elvis Presley, “Jenny, Jenny” by Little Richard, “Rock & Roll Music” by Chuck Berry and “Great Balls Of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis in my dad’s Oldsmobile with my 12-year old sister Dianne controlling the radio dial.

Most crucially, in 1957 there was Buddy Holly’s “Peggy Sue,” the first song I remember hearing where my brain literally exploded.  I can remember like it was yesterday the first time that song detonated out of the tinny car radio speakers and I realized, “This is a song about a girl this guy knows whose name is Peggy Sue and he likes her, so he wrote a song about her.”  I was FIVE, people.  It was a lesson I never forgot.  If you like a girl, write a song about her.  For better or worse, it’s a precept I have lived with all of my life, to this day, 56 years later.

By 1959, of course, it was all over.  Elvis was drafted into the Army, Buddy Holly was dead from a plane crash, Chuck Berry was in prison on trumped-up sex charges, Little Richard had “gotten religion” and left rock & roll behind (for the first of many times), and Jerry Lee Lewis had been hounded out of the Big Time for marrying his 13-year old cousin.  (It was The South in the 1950’s, for Chrissakes, marrying his 13-year old cousin was probably the NICEST thing Jerry Lee could have done in those days.)  (By the way, I can’t help noticing that crazy, racist, homophobic Duck Dynasty guy is now advocating people marrying young teenage girls, and he’s a major Free Speech Culture Star to the Fox News, Reality TV and People Magazine set.  My, how times have changed.)

But I digress………

By time I was 10 years old in 1962, I had largely lost interest in music.  My sister listened to and loved all those white-bread pretty-boys whom Dick Clark invented to replace Elvis, Little Richard and Jerry Lee: your Fabians, your Paul Ankas, your Bobby Vees.  (Those guys were later supplanted by Bobby Sherman, Donny Osmond & Michael Jackson, later updated to Journey, Foreigner & Styx, later still to The Backstreet Boys and N’Sync, today to Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake and Mumford & Sons).  All I cared about at that point was comic books and World War II.

And then in February, 1964, The Beatles appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show.  (I remember my big brother Al saying to me sometime earlier in January, while he was watching some news program, “This is that new band from England that everybody’s talking about.”  I looked up from my X-Men comic book to a scene of screaming girls and mop-haired boys, thought nothing much of it and returned to poring over the adventures of Cyclops, The Angel & Marvel Girl.)

I was 12 when The Beatles Hit America in 1964.  This is the only place I might question that I am The Perfect Age For Rock & Roll.  Kids three years my senior, who were born in 1949 – Bruce Springsteen and Elliott Murphy, among them – who were 15 in 1964 and had some grounding in folk guitar could (and did) almost immediately form rock & roll combos and start playing British Invasion hits in their garages and basement rec rooms.  On the other hand, when Punk hit in 1976, I was only 24 and still young enough to latch on, where the 27 & 28 year olds around me sneered down their prog-rock noses at The Ramones and The Clash.  (But I progress, more on that later………)

By the time The Beatles finished their three-Sundays-in-a-row stint on Ed Sullivan and I had fallen in love with the next Sullivan-approved British Invasion band – The Dave Clark 5 – every bit of my consciousness, allegiance & cash, every ounce of my being was allotted to rock & roll music.    

I would take the bus Downtown every Saturday morning and go to Marco Records and the Lazarus Department Store to look at and buy records.  I was a pretty typical rock & roll kid – buying singles by The Searchers, The Troggs and Freddie & the Dreamers, etc. – until sometime in 1966 when I saw The Who for the first time on Shindig.  (Shindig and Hullabaloo were the first rock & roll primetime TV shows.)  From the very first moment I saw Pete Townshend deploy a windmill strum on his Rickenbacker, followed by he and Keith Moon bashing their gear to smithereens, I knew I had found my New Favorite Band.

From The Who it was a short trip to The Kinks, The Yardbirds and The Rolling Stones (who I came to really late after my beloved Dave Clark 5, right around “Satisfaction”).  I left behind teenybopper magazines like “16” and “Tiger Beat” for the oh-so-astute Hit Parader magazine, which became my primer for folk-rock, The Lovin’ Spoonful, and The Blues Project.  Cream and Traffic followed in 1967.  1968 brought The Jimi Hendrix Experience and psychedelia to my solitary little world.  Then, fueled & bolstered by my sonic studies since age five in dad’s Olds, I joined my first rock & roll band.  The first song I ever sang onstage was “Magic Carpet Ride” by Steppenwolf.  I was 16.  I was the perfect age for rock & roll.  

In 1969 I simultaneously took in country-rock with The Flying Burritto Brothers and Poco side-by-side with High-Energy Detroit Rock from The MC5 and The Stooges.  I went through singer/songwriters with Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Joni Mitchell and James Taylor in 1970 and nascent laid-back hippie rock in ‘71 with Van Morrison (whom I had previously loved in the 60’s for “Gloria” and “Brown-Eyed Girl”).  I loved The Who right up through 1973 when they bored me to tears with Quadrophenia and it was time to move on to Bruce Springsteen, Mott The Hoople, The New York Dolls, Aerosmith and Elliott Murphy.  I thought that crew were gonna replace The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan for a Whole New Age of 1970’s rock & roll.  I was 21 years old in 1973, The Perfect Age for that changeover in the Rock & Roll Zeitgeist.

Only that changeover, that Changing Of The Guard, that progression, that Out With The Old/In With The New that had sustained rock & roll at the dawn of every decade since the 1950’s never happened.  Radio tightened up.  New acts got stiffed.  The likes of Jefferson Airplane/Starship, The Grateful Dead, Elton John, Pink Floyd and The Allman Brothers got extended well past their sell-by dates.  The Rolling Stones and Dylan grew ever more boring by the year.  Anybody who had played at Woodstock was regarded as the Godhead.  Hippies ruled.  1974 & 1975 took forever to pass.

In 1976 I saw Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band live for the first time, and the Patti Smith Group, The Ramones, The Clash and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers beckoned.  I was 24 years old, the Perfect Age For Rock & Roll.  And that’s where we’re gonna pick up in part two………

 

(If you think Ricki C. is long-winded here, you should see the blog he maintained until 
December 31st, 2013,
Growing Old With Rock & Roll.  Yeesh, did he go on some tangents.)

Today is a Good Day to Make Your Own Video for the Song "Cold Weather"

Did you know that there was going to be a video for the song "Cold Weather" by Colin Gawel and The Lonely Bones? Well is true. We shot footage the same time we were making the video for "Still Love Christmas". As luck would have it, in the period between the filming and the editing, some wise guy broke into the car of our video guy and stole his laptop, and with it, the footage for "Cold Weather". Bastards!

As is often the case in minor league rock n roll, there is no contingency plan for setbacks as such, so all parties involved said, "the hell with it". Oh well, certainly the world will survive with one less rock music video. Still, it is a catchy little number, especially on days like today with temperatures dropping faster than Andy Dalton's QBR rating. (Zingo!)

So while driving around in the wacko cold, why not blast "Cold Weather" and imagine your own video?  And remember, "the only thing better than cold weather is knowing one day it will be warm again" - Colin G.

Listen to "Cold Weather" by clicking here.

 

Colin Gawel wrote this at a chilly Colin's Coffee. Learn more about him and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here.

Imagine Being Homeless in This Wacko Cold

 

Imagine Being Homeless Tonight

 

I sat around Sunday night refreshing my browser and waiting for the message that Upper Arlington Schools would be closed on Monday due to the sub-zero freezing weather. I thought to myself there was no way they’d let these kids stand out in the cold waiting at the bus stop. The new superintendent has to feel the same way.

 Chris Bradley over at Channel 10 has been broadcasting that it’s going to be freezing cold tonight, subzero weather when you factor in the wind chill. Frankly, it’s been cold for the past few days. I’ve been worried sick every time my dog goes outside that someone’s going to forget he’s out there and be stuck out in the cold too long.  I’ve been standing by the door watching him, which is rather distracting for him. He’s looking at me and hoping I throw something he could run and catch instead of doing his business. I don’t blame him. I can’t pee when people are watching, either.

 I refresh my browser again. Columbus and Delaware schools are closed, but no word on Upper Arlington.  I check weather.com and discover that with the wind chill is going to drop down to single digits tonight.

 It’s going to be wacko cold. Thank God in heaven I have a roof over my head. Could you imagine what it’s like to be stuck out in the freezing weather tonight? With a quick internet search I learn there’s a just a handful of homeless shelters here in Columbus and a phone number you can call for help. There are two shelters for men, two for women, one for families, and one for youth. That’s it. Six places they can choose from. And a phone number that might lead to more resources, as if there’s a pay phone on every corner that they can use.

 On the Columbus Coalition for the Homeless website, there’s something called a “street card” which I can only assume the assistance centers print out and hand to the people who need help. It lists locations that people can get food, shelter, and other services. I can’t even begin to understand how hard it would be to simply survive through tonight. They don’t have an Internet to search for the closest shelter, nor an iPhone they can ask Siri to call or find a homeless shelter.

 A half an hour ago I was grumpier than all hell. I was going to be stuck in my living room, miserably surfing the Internet trying to find something interesting to read while my wife was absorbed into Downton Abbey. With a simple thought about the homeless, my mood has changed. I’m grateful to have a house over my head, heat, and electricity. As well as a blanket to snuggle up with my wife on the couch.

 My phone buzzes and I get a text from UA schools. They are closed tomorrow. I’m going to go tell my kids who are already tucked into bed and let them know the good news. I’ll most likely kiss them on the forehead and tell them I love them, too. Then, tonight, before I get into bed. I’m going to say a little prayer for those who are much more unfortunate than I am. And hope they make it through the night safely.

 

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee. You can help a number of homeless support organization by visiting the Columbus Community Shelter Board or clicking here.

Job Opening: Must Move To Cleveland

 

 

 

Job Opening: Looking for High Performing Leader – Must Move To Cleveland

 

Imagine you’re offered the position of CEO for a well-established brand. While it may not be with the company you want, it’s a position you dreamed about your whole life.  All your training and education has prepared you for this moment.

But before you say “YES!” to your new Board of Directors, the right synapses fire in your brain and you realize it’s best check with your wife first. You ask for 24 hours to consider the offer and then go home to consult with your significant other. “Honey,” she says, “Before we pick up the family and move to… {cough, cough}… Cleveland… can you do a little research about the company? See what you’re getting into?”

You apprehensively agree to your wife’s wishes, and you do a quick Internet search about the company. Here’s what you discover:

Their last CEO wasn’t even in the position for twelve months before they fired him for not reversing a five year trend of negative sales. They let one of their top new salesmen go this year with practically nothing to show for it and have had three new Chief Marketing Officers (their brand leaders) over the past year. In fact, during the past 14 years, they've had more than 20 new CMOs. During that same time, they've had six CEOs. You will be the seventh.  That’s a new CEO every two years.

They've only had TWO years of positive sales in the past 14 years.  They weren't even consecutive years. Also, the Chairman of the Board who owns a majority of the company is being investigated by the FBI for fraud for dealing with his business partners in another company.

The only good thing about the company is the customers are loyal. They will buy whatever product you sell, no matter how big the pile of crap is.

Knowing this, do you join the company?  Do you move your family across the country to lead this turd of a product?

Of course, I’m talking about the open head coaching position for the Cleveland Browns. You don’t have to be a sports fan to understand this is ridiculous job to take. Why would anyone on this earth would raise their hand and take the first plane to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport to lead this organization? I mean, come on, the fans actually call the stadium “The Factory of Sadness”.

I’m no Jimmy Haslam, but doesn't he know he’s not going to land a star head coach to lead the Browns? Maybe a coordinator from a mediocre team, or a head coach from a second tier college team may go for the job. But no one better than that.

But unfortunately, whoever they bring to Cleveland will go because of money. And that’s exactly what the Browns DON’T need right now. They need someone who wants to be there because they want to be with the Cleveland Browns. Someone who dreamed of that job, just like Meyer, Tressel, Bruce, and Hayes all dreamed of coaching the Buckeyes.  Because the next Browns coach needs to do more than produce results – they need to inspire. Inspire the players, the fans, and most importantly the city.

Because while we’re down here in Columbus complaining about one loss against Michigan State and how we lost a close one to Clemson in a major bowl game, our friends up in Cuyahoga are getting kicked while they are down.

 

Good luck, Cleveland. I wish you well.

 

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He grew up in a blue collar suburb of Cleveland and is now lives in Upper Arlington, Ohio.

Colin's Four Step Plan for a Semi - Successful Amateur Night

Did you ever notice how only amateurs refer to New Years Eve as "amateur night" ? Well, it's true. Anyway, that being said, there is still a whole bunch of pressure to have the greatest night of your life on New Year's Eve. Especially for you younger folks in your 20's. More often than not, after all the build up, the night ends up a failure with tearful fights, heartache and possible run in with the law.

Having lived through many New Year's Eve, both successful and the opposite, here is my very quick guide to making it a satisfying evening. Or at least not a total disaster.

1) Get your expectations in line. The chances of this being the greatest night of your life are extremely small. In fact, take the number 1 and put it next to the days you have been alive and those are your odds. My odds would be 16,060 to 1. That isn't the horse you want to bet on. Why not just try to make it the best night of the week? That pays 7 to 1. That is a goal within your grasp.

2) Logistics. Get what you need, get where you are going and do not drive again. Best option is to get dropped off where you are going. You will figure out a way home. Only an ASS drives on New Year's Eve. And don't stop at White Castle no matter how tasty it sounds at 3 am.

3) Surround yourself with people you really like. It just takes one asshole to ruin the whole night with a bad decision. Only your tightest crew should be assembled as your core group. 

4) Do not chase the party, let it come to you. Once you are with good people and have what you need, hunker down to a reasonably good spot and spread the word. Don't hit the panic button and start jumping from spot to spot. The grass most likely isn't greener and you end up running all over hell's half acre only to find each party is lamer than the last one. Frustration and bad vibes are certain to follow ruining the evening. OR... put another way, if you are hunting deer, you don't run around the forest shooting a gun in the air, you hunker down and they will come to you.

Follow these four rules I can guarantee that your New Year's Eve will turnout pretty damn good. At the very least it should keep you out of the pokey. Merry New Year!

Colin Gawel once watched Watershed back their van into the side of Dash Rip Rock's Van on New Year's Eve in Memphis. He was shouting "NO!" to Biggie, but Biggie thought he was shouting "GO!". Dash's van was totaled. Being Dash, they thought it was funny.

Top Ten Awesome Things About 2013 by Wal Ozello

Top Ten Awesome Things About 2013

At the end of the year, people make lists. Lists of best Sporting Moments, Entertainment Moments, Songs, Movies, etc. I believe that 2013 was an awesome year, one of the most awesome in a long time.

So here, below, is my take on the most awesome things in 2013. 

1) Catholic Church selects its first pope that actually talks and acts like Jesus. Pope Francis is definitely awesome. Not only does he say the most inspirational things and encourage us to be more human, kind, and loving to each other, the guy actually practices what he preaches. For example, instead of living in the Pope Palace, he’s decided to live in more humble apartment on the Vatican campus. Good things are in our future because of this guy.

2) Rush was inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Okay, they are Canadian but they are the three most amazing musicians ever, and they all play in the same band together! How they’ve been shunned by the Rock Hall for over 10 years is beyond the 10 millions of fans they attract. This induction showed that the fans opinion really matters, that musicianship and talent really matters, and that the people who pick the Hall of Famers do have an ounce of intelligence in their brains. 

3) President Obama goes from our first black president to being just the president. Barack Obama being elected our first black president was an amazing historic event, but what’s even more amazing is that eventually we stopped talking about him being black and just talked about him being president. I don’t think the color of his skin is the most dominant thing about him anymore. Now he’s getting beaten up by the Republicans just like every other white Democratic president before him. That’s a step forward in equal rights.

4) Jennifer Lawrence becomes the first mega-celebrity of the century who is not an asshole. This was a huge year for Jennifer Lawrence. She’s a great actress and starred in just about every awesome movie that was released in 2013. We’d expect this to be followed with reports of her driving crazy drunk, shoplifting, naming her baby some bizarre name, etc., etc., etc. Instead she shunned all that and tried to stay as normal as could be. We haven’t had a celebrity like this since Michael J. Fox in the 1980s.

5) We found Iran’s phone number. We’ve gone decades not talking to Iran. They’ve hated us, we’ve hated them. But while Congress was complaining about Obamacare and the economy, the Executive Branch started opening up some dialogue with Iran and had some conversations that may lead to more conversations about them not using Nuclear Arms and us dissolving some economic sanctions. This is what a world power should do – reach out to the crazy little guy and build some bridges. Maybe they won’t be that crazy anymore.

6) Divorce rates may go down now that Gay Marriage is legal in over a third of the U.S. That’s right folks, 18 states have legalized gay marriage and few more recognize out-of- state gay marriages. Do the math, that’s 36% of the states in our union. Furthermore, the U.S. Supreme Court said the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act was illegal. This is awesome for civil rights, great for humanity, and frankly good for the economy.

7) Ohio State Buckeyes beat that team up North, again. Sure, we didn’t have an undefeated season and fell out of the National Championship, but we’re still going to the Orange Bowl and we beat the Wolverines. That’s awesome. Frankly, I’m one of those people that believe even if we have a 1-11 season, it’s still an awesome thing as long as that one win is against the whores from Ann Arbor. 

8) Most unproductive Congress in modern history. The 113th Congress passed a total of 65 laws including measures like post-office renaming and commemorative-coin authorizations. Why is this awesome? Would you trust this Congress to do anything right? The less laws they passed the better off we are.

9) Casting begins for next Star Wars movie. If you don’t think this is Awesome than maybe you don’t understand what Awesome really is.

10) End of the year proves that 2014 will be better than 2013. We had a great last quarter in 2013. Repubs and Dems actually talked to each other and passed a budget to last two years. That’s awesome. We added a bunch of jobs in November and had the lowest unemployment rate in four years. That’s awesome. If we keep this momentum going into 2014, then things are only going to get better. And that’s truly awesome.

You may not agree with all the things on my list, or might find some of the things I said offensive, but it’s my list. Feel free to create your own. But what I think is inarguable is that 2013 was awesome, and we are positioned to make 2014 even better – if we all try to.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.