Texas Tornados Channel Crashes Entire Pandora Network

Achtung! This essay contains salty language. Proceed at your own risk.

Pandora World HQ - Wednesday, March 5th

Phone rings...

"What?!? Goddamn it, I'm busy!"

"Sorry to bother you sir. This is Johnson from sector 7-G and we have a situation developing that I thought you should be aware of."

"What have you got?"

"It appears that a customer from the Columbus, Ohio area created a "Texas Tornados" channel around 6am this morning and it has been streaming for over five hours. The Music Genome is struggling to find compatible songs and I'm worried it may overheat and crash the entire network."

"Let me get this straight, some asshole from Ohio started a Texas Tornados channel in the middle of the goddamn longest winter in 200 years and he is just letting it ride?"

"That is correct, sir"

"Jesus Fucking Christ. This is all we need. Did you send him "Are you still listening?" messages?

"Yes sir, eight separate times and he keeps responding yes. It appears he is enjoying the music and plans to continue."

"There has to be a simple explanation. Was "Tin Cup" on last night?"

"No sir, that was the first thing I checked. It's not scheduled on TNT until next Tuesday."

"GODDAMN IT! Why is he doing this? Did you work with the NSA on intel?"

"Yes, we checked his e-mail and cellphone records but nothing much came up. His credit card showed a $75 dollar charge for a "Donkey Show" in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, but that was from 1998. He did post on the Facebook page of a dive called "Colin's Coffee" that he was going to play some Tex-Mex music because it feels like spring outside."

"Spring outside? My report shows it's only 21 degrees in Columbus right now. That doesn't sound like spring to me, Johnson. And what the hell is Tex-Mex music? Do we even have the category?"

"With all due respect sir, there are many unanswered questions. That is why I called you. Our analyst thinks that "Tex-Mex" music is a reference to "Tejano Music". There has been some linguistic confusion in areas of North America where the popular "Tex-Mex" restaurant Chi Chi's was once prominent."

"Give it to me in English, Johnson"

"These assholes from Ohio don't know shit about "Tejano Music." Sir, I don't want to alarm you, but the lightbulbs in my office are starting to flash and we are down to our last Flaco Jimenez record. We are running out of songs!"

"Think. There has to be something we can do. Think. Goddamn it, think..."

"Sir, the sirens are going off. People are starting to scramble for the doors. Should we abandon ship and play our emergency song? It's the only thing that can save us..."

"Sweet Mother of Mary, I hoped this day would never come. Do it Johnson, do it. It's the only song not by the Shins that plays on every station...."

Now playing on Texas Tornados Pandora Channel: Old Time Rock n Roll - Bob Seger.

Colin Gawel clearly has too much time on his hands at Colin's Coffee. And yes, the Texas Tornado channel really did play "Old Time Rock n Roll."

The Texas Tornados perform another of their fan favorites, "Hey Baby, Que Paso"? This concert is at the Gruene Hall, in Gruene, Texas, in 1992. Augie Meyers leads this one! This concert was done by the BBC, as a television broadcast.

All Things "Superior" For Your Snowy Sunday (featuring a young Owen Gawel) by Colin G.

"Remember that guy Colin Gawel?"

"Uh....sorta, I think."

"You know, the guy from that great book about that band Watershed?"

"Rings a bell." 

"You know the guy. He did that crazy Cheap Trick list where he ranked every song."

"Did he play all the Beatles songs too?"

"No, that's another guy."

"You know Colin Gawel, he's the guy who did that song Superior."

"Oh yeah...."

Official music video for Colin Gawel's "Superior". The single was released on the EP-CD "Superior" by Mike Landolt's Curry House Records label. More at www.colingawel.com. Video produced by Palestra Creative (www.palestracreative.com).

Below: A young Owen Gawel interviewing me about the writing of Superior. You'll notice when he starts to get bored. And below that, actual proof that sometimes The Lonely Bones can be pretty damn good rock n roll band. From the old CD101 Big Room.

Colin Gawel discusses the writing of his single Superior.

Live from the CD102.5 Big Room, Colin Gawel with "Superior" on April 10, 2010.

Colin Tending Bar at Little Rock Saturday March 1st, 4 - 9 pm for "Pay The Rent Saturday"

Pay The Rent Saturday March 1st! Support a Local Business on this Day!

I know what you're thinking: "But Colin, Pay the Rent Saturday is supposed to be the last Saturday of every month. That's the day we are supposed to make a concerted effort to target and support a local business. Saturday, March 1st is obviously not the last day of the month. What gives?"

Let's face it, February is barely a month anyway. Just a handful of days with polar vortex jammed between Christmas and St. Patrick's Day. If it wasn't for True Detective, I could have napped on the sofa through the entire thing. February is a month the way Pluto is a planet. You sort of have to acknowledge its existence, but you can feel free to ignore it as well. So for the sake of convenience we are pretending like March 1st is the last Saturday of February. But I digress....... 

More importantly, what February lacks in substance, it more than makes up in misery for local business. Snowstorms, high heating bills and two less days on the calender means the landlord is all up in your face for rent  quicker than you can say, "I'm so broke, they call me Mr. Broke."

So in honor of this, the most important of all the Pay The Rent Saturdays, I will be serving coffee at Colin's Coffee and then heading to the fabulous Little Rock Bar  (944 N. 4th) to be your guest bartender from 4 to 9 pm. You have two golden opportunities to support very cool local businesses. Come visit me or hit a different local joint of your choosing: a record store, thrift shop, a bar or restaurant, book store, movie theater, catch a local band, etc..

Do it! And spread the word. See you Saturday.  - Colin

Pussy Riot, Cossacks, Putin's Olympics and the Arizona State Legislature by Ricki C.

“Rock & roll as a force for social change
That idea got kicked to the curb
About the same time the noun ‘party’
Got turned into a verb”

- from “Old Heroes Might Be Heroes (But They’re Old Anyway)”

© 1978, Ricki C. for The Twilight Kids

When was the last time an American or British rock band actually did anything Revolutionary, or even mildly controversial?

I once had high hopes for Green Day, around the time of American Idiot, until they merchandized that great disc into a Broadway musical, of all things, not exactly the premier move in radical rock & roll protest circles, ya know?  (They really are a lot like The Who, circa Tommy in that respect, aren’t they?)

It’s immensely sad to me that The Dixie Chicks – a trio of female country singers – essentially punted their entire music career over an off-hand onstage comment in London – “We’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas.” – at the height of American jingoism in 2003, during the run-up to the Iraq War.  It’s even sadder to me that not one rock & roll band showed any kind of solidarity with them or mounted any kind of free-speech defense.  Where were The Rockers when that shit was going down?

Which brings us to Pussy Riot – an art-collective punk-rock band comprised of Russian women, two of whom served TWO YEARS in a Russian prison after staging a protest in a Moscow Cathedral, performing a song called “Mother Of God, Chase Putin Away.”  (You have to admit, even Bob Dylan in his topical song protest days never came up with a title that cool.  “Blowin’ In The Wind,” “The Ballad Of Emmett Till,” “Masters Of War,” indeed.)

The two women who served time – Nadezheda Toloonnikova and Maria Alyoknina – were released from prison in December, 2013, an action widely viewed as an attempt to show the lighter side of Vladimir Putin, a little PR move in advance of his Olympic Games.  “Forget the last 21 months you spent in prison, girls, let’s all be comrades.  Have a vodka tonic!”  

I saw the two women on the Colbert show and they were intelligent and committed – which I fully expected – but also displayed a great sense of humor, which I did not expect.  I expected didactic, shrill, defensive artistes.  (I’d’ve been defensive & shrill if I did 21 months in prison for singing a punk song in a church.)  What I got were two lovely, funny and articulate individuals.

So do Pussy Riot stay on in the United States and trade on their name to make some bucks, maybe do a commercial for Fancy Feast or Stoli?  No, they go back to Russia and work up a song called “Putin Will Teach You To Love The Motherland.”  (Admittedly, it’s no “Blue Suede Shoes.”)  They’re whipped in public by Cossacks – who apparently serve as a paramilitary adjunct to the Russian police force: kinda like Paul Blart, Mall Cop, only with warmer hats and whips – and were arrested yet again.  That takes balls, my friend.  I don’t care how much publicity you get or how famous you are or how many cameras are trained on you in public, if Putin wants you to disappear, you’re gonna disappear.  (Has anybody seen the Russian Olympic Hockey Team since they got eliminated in the semi’s?)  (By the way, while we’re on the subject of hockey disappointments, concerning the stocked-to-the-gills-with-NHL-players American Olympic team: if I wanted to see a hockey team display ZERO heart and not even TRY to win a Big Game, I’d go downtown and watch the Blue Jackets.)

So next time I see Ted Nugent mewling & whining on Fox News about his First Amendment Rights, I wanna see him do 21 months hard time in prison and then come back for more.  (By the way: my buddy Kyle and I had free tix to Ted’s show at the LC a few years back and he should do 21 months for not being able to play the fucking guitar anymore.  He was three or four minutes into “Free For All” before either of us recognized it.  That calls for SOME kind of punishment and incarceration.) 

I was surprised that in NBC’s woeful coverage of the Olympics – woeful because they didn’t offer even cursory explanations of sports unfamiliar to American audiences, among many other factors – I don’t think I heard even a passing mention of the unrest in Ukraine that took place during the Games.  I’m not saying that there should have been a blow-by-blow account of street battles in Kiev by Tara Lipinski & Johnny Weir during the ice-dancing finals – I understand the argument that the Olympics should not be about politics – but I am saying that if there had been a revolution in Ohio during the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics (roughly the same distance – 700 miles – as from Sochi to Kiev), it probably would’ve gotten at least a passing mention on the talking TV box.

Finally – and I SWEAR I’m gonna bring this in under 1000 words – can somebody please explain to me how the Arizona State Legislature can line up so squarely with Vladimir Putin and the nation of Uganda (once ruled so peacefully by Idi Amin, who slaughtered hundreds of thousands of his citizens) on the question of denying gay individuals their rights as citizens?  I didn't want Governor Jan Brewer to veto this week’s hate legislation for economic reasons, like because the NFL threatened to take away Phoenix’s Super Bowl in 2014, I wanted her to veto it BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!  (And I thought the Republican Party and Fox News – in their Mindless Thrall Deification of Ronald Reagan – were supposed to be AGAINST anything Russia was FOR.  Whatever happened to The Transitive Law of Intolerance?) 

How long can we continue to be on the wrong side of history?

And where is The MC5 when we really need them? – Ricki C. / February 27th, 2014

Learn more about Ricki C. and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here

Vicki J. Thinks Colin G. is Wrong About Q Ross and "The Common Man"

Lquinton Ross: Point/Counterpoint- A Female Perspective   by Vicki Jacobs

I have to admit; I almost never drive around killing brain cells listening to sports radio. I don’t have the slightest idea who “The Common Man” is. Is he really just a common man or does he merely represent the common man? 

I do however enjoy killing brain cells reading my friend Colin’s blog Pencil Storm. Sometimes. Depends who’s writing the posts. When I read this from Colin’s Laquinton Ross post: “…I was at the game with my ten year old son and I applauded when Q was escorted from the court…” I may have sniffed and blinked back a few tears. 

As a mother, I applauded when I read that line. Then, I kept reading. Wait just a hot minute, yo. Colin was applauding when Q was escorted from the court because he thought Q (gulp) did a good thing?? The hell?

I wasn’t at the game, but I did watch the footage. The way Colin saw it, “Q was standing up for a teammate.” Um, because Amir Williams needs standing up for? I don’t think so. Colin goes on to say that “Q didn’t throw a punch and didn’t jeopardize the outcome of the game.” What if he had done those things…thrown a punch or jeopardized the outcome of the game? Is that where we draw the line at sportsmanship? Or isn’t that part of the game anymore? What about being accountable for our actions?

In my opinion, the “good hard push” was selfish. Amir Williams was handling himself under the boards just fine thankyouverymuch and the refs were working to get things under control. Then Q walked over and “gave a good hard push”. Why? Because he was standing up for his poor, bullied teammate? Hell no. Because he lost his temper. Came unraveled. Lost his cool. Came undone. Went a little bat shit crazy.

Nobody in his or her right mind should applaud that shit. Why?

Because… Steubenville. Q is a 21-year-old college basketball player. He’s a kid, I get it. (Technically not a kid, but whatever) He made a mistake. I get that too. But applauding him after pushing another player and getting ejected from a game? No way. 

We need to teach our ten-year-old boys that it isn’t OK to loose your shit and push someone. Stand up for your friends in challenging situations… YES. Out of control, flagrant behavior… NOPE. Never, ever OK. Not during a basketball game, not while driving, not at a party. Not ever. Athletes aren’t any different than the rest of us and if they are treated like they are, awful things can happen. They aren’t above reproach. They aren’t above the rules or the law. They are accountable for their actions. Period.

I want my ten-year-old boy to know this NOW and six years from now so he never rapes a girl who is passed out and films it with his friends while laughing. I want him to learn to keep his wits about him in times of stress and to remain in control when there is a damn good possibility that others around him might be completely out of control.

As a mother, I want to send a clear message that this sort of behavior isn’t going to be tolerated. And it starts by NOT applauding athletes who are out of control.

Disclaimer: I love Colin Gawel. He is super cool and one of the greatest dads I know. Our parenting styles are very similar and we usually agree on most everything. Except his applauding Q while he was being ejected from the game. He got that shit wrong. Maybe a female perspective will help shed some light.

Vicki Jacobs is an avid reader of well written blogs. She misses writing on her own blog so she thought she’d offer a female perspective here on Pencil Storm because a lot of chicks read it. Vicki has a ten-year-old son and loves to hang out on the playground after school and talk politics, education and sometimes sports with Colin Gawel. (Even if he is wrong on occasion.)

Alejandro Escovedo In-Store @ Elizabeth Records, Monday February 24th, 1 pm. CANCELLED CANCELLED CANCELLED

Hey gang - It's 11:40 am on Monday morning, February 24th, and Pencilstorm has just learned that today's signing session with Alejandro Escovedo has been cancelled for today, possibly rescheduled for April.  Alejandro has been battling a stomach flu the last couple of gigs and wanted to rest before tonight's Kent Stage show in Kent, Ohio.  That show (with Peter Buck of REM) is still on but the Elizabeth Records meet & greet is OFF.

Sorry to bring this news, but wanted to get the word out.  Thanks.

Hey folks, Pencilstorm fully realizes this is truly short notice, but we just found out that Alejandro Escovedo - whom many of us consider a truly legendary practitioner of the art of the rock & roll - will be doing an in-store "signing session" at Elizabeth Records, 3037 Indianola Avenue (right by Studio 35 Cinema) on Monday, February 24th, at 1 pm.  We talked briefly to somebody at the store and she indicated that Alejandro won't actually be playing at the store, it's more a "meet & greet" and Alejandro will be signing items fans bring in.

(The phone number at Elizabeth's is 569-6009.  It probably couldn't hurt to call Monday morning to make sure the in-store is still on.  It's taking place between shows Alejandro is doing with Peter Buck of REM on Sunday night at Stuart's Opera House in Nelsonville and Monday night at Kent, Ohio's truly great Kent Stage venue.  After doing in-stores with both Watershed and Hamell On Trial, I've learned it's always best to double-check.)  (IN LIGHT OF TODAY'S CANCELLATION, I'M GLAD THAT WE RAN THIS.  SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.) 

Pencilstorm further fully realizes that some people have jobs and can't just fuck-off to the local neighborhood record store in the middle of the day to meet their rock & roll heroes, but COME ON, it's Alejandro Escovedo, for Chrissakes!  At any rate, Colin & Ricki C. will be there bothering Alejandro and trying to monopolize the conversation, so why don't you take your lunch hour late on Monday and drop by? 

(Following is a piece Ricki C. did on Escovedo in his Growing Old With Rock & Roll blog, March 16, 2012.)

Occasionally in my job as road manager for Hamell On Trial there were perks; genuine perks, epic perks, once-in-a-lifetime perks.  One of those took place in the summer of 2008 when I got to meet and hang out with Alejandro Escovedo.

For the uninitiated, I consider Alejandro Escovedo one of the five best singer-songwriters currently criss-crossing this great land of ours, trying to spread the gospel of rock & roll.  (The other four, for those of you scoring at home are, alphabetically; The Avett Brothers, Hamell On Trial, Richard Thompson, and Jack White.  Elliott Murphy would be listed here but he is normally found crisscrossing the European continent.)  I further consider Escovedo America’s answer to Ian Hunter, in that he combines the same superior intellect with a passion for rock & roll power and the ability to simultaneously break your heart with a ballad and pummel you with an all-out rock onslaught, sometimes within the same song.  (Regular readers of this blog will realize I do not throw comparisons to Mott The Hoople’s former frontman around lightly.)

That summer Hamell was playing an arts & music festival in Bowling Green, Ohio, at which Escovedo was also booked.  Ed and Alejandro were friends from way back.  When Ed first moved to Austin, Texas, in the 90’s he sought out Escovedo for advice, counsel and gigs, all three of which Alejandro was happy to provide.  A genuine friendship ensued.  Ed’s introduction of me to Alejandro backstage was, "This is my road manager, Ricki C., he saw The Stooges and The MC5 live when he was still in high school."  Alejandro fixed me with a gaze, shook my hand, and said, "We have to talk later."

And so it was that I wound up sitting at a picnic table at The Black Swamp Arts Festival in Bowling Green, Ohio, talking rock & roll with Alejandro Escovedo.

Now you’ve gotta understand – Alejandro Escovedo is one of my big rock & roll heroes, one of my favorite songwriters of the past 15 years.  Sitting and talking with him put me right back into my shy, quiet, 13-year old, eighth grade self (see The Transistor Radio blog entry, January 2012).  As we sat and talked on that warm evening I found myself really wanting to shout to the other performers and crew members who were eating & hanging out in the backstage canteen area, "HEY, LOOK YOU GUYS, I’M TALKING TO ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO!!!"  Luckily for any sense of rock & roll cool or decorum I had managed to acquire as Hamell’s road manager, I didn’t shout.  (Out loud.)

We talked about Mott The Hoople and how the perfect mixture of deep feeling and loud guitars met right in the blood flowing through Ian Hunter’s heart.  We talked about The Kinks and the battles between brothers in rock & roll bands, including Alejandro’s and big brother Javier’s fights in their 1980’s band, The True Believers.  We talked about the aforementioned Stooges and MC5.  I told Alejandro about pissing next to a smacked-out & wasted Johnny Thunders in the bathroom of the Second Chance club in Ann Arbor, Michigan, in 1979 during a weekend road trip to see Fred Smith’s mighty Sonic’s Rendezvous Band.  Alejandro told me about offering a wasted Iggy Pop a ride in his car during one of Iggy’s down & out late 1970’s Los Angeles nights.  (Strange how often rock & roll conversations turn to the wasted.)  We talked about heroes for life, we talked about wins and losses, we talked about shared sonic love affairs.

I fully realize that there’s very little chance Alejandro would recall that late summer rock & roll conversation.  I also fully realize that I’ll never forget it.

Ricki C. / March 16th, 2012