Reelin' and Rockin' @ the Gateway: "Revenge Of The Mekons" by Ricki C.

The Mekons have been around since 1977, and yet I don’t really know that much about them: which is why I’m really happy that Colin and Brian Phillips are bringing the documentary feature “Revenge of The Mekons” to the Gateway Film Center this Wednesday, April 15th at 8 pm as this month’s Reelin’ and Rockin’ @ the Gateway presentation.  

I do know this much about The Mekons:

1) Their 1989 album “The Mekons Rock ‘n’ Roll” is one of the most fiercely intelligent punk-rock records of all time.  For those of you scoring at home, the Ricki C. acid test for whether something is genuine punk-rock is if it makes me wanna break stuff when I listen to it real loud, and – by those standards – “The Mekons Rock ‘n’ Roll” is right up there with The Clash’s first record Elvis Costello and the Attractions’ “This Year’s Model.”  (Also, I find it cool and appropriate that The Mekons fall right beside The MC5 in my vinyl collection, speaking of fiercely intelligent rock & roll.)  

2) I saw The Mekons live at Stache's in 1989 when they were touring that record, and talk about packing A LOT of magic into a really small space: Langford, Timms, Greenhalgh & company blistered the paint off Dan Dougan's walls.    

3) I know that The Mekons’ “Ghosts Of American Astronauts” (see video below) showcases one of the most subversive lyrics and simultaneously one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs in all of rock & roll; from a punk band.  Go see the movie.  Make a new friend, love an old band.  – Ricki C. / April 11th, 2015   

Reelin and Rockin' @ the Gateway admission is $5 (CHEAP!) and  benefits CD102.5 For The Kids children's charity; happy hour begins at 7 pm in the Torpedo Room bar, "Revenge of The Mekons" follows at 8 pm.

Colin Appears on Cheap Talk with Trick Podcast. Bucket List Complete. Listen Here!

There have been some big moments in my life: seeing the birth of my son, hearing one of my songs on the radio for the first time, and winning my second fantasy baseball championship are just a few highlights that jump to mind. But it will be hard to top what happened this week, I was finally a guest on the popular Cheap Trick Podcast, "Cheap Talk with Trick." 

Click here to listen. I come at 21 minutes     

Sure, it would have been nice to spend an hour or three discussing side two of "Woke Up With A Monster" or Tom Petersson's solo cassette release, "Another Language" but host Ken Mills was kind enough to invite me on an episode asking.....

Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? 

Beggars can't be choosers and as a founding member of the band of the same name, I suppose it does make sense. Anyway, give it a listen, I think it turned out pretty darn well myself.  And....make sure to join Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? at one of our upcoming shows April 17th & 18th. Click here for details on the gigs and the cause.   

Thanks to Ken once again and remember  #inductcheaptrick  - Colin G.

Rock 'n' Roll High School (addendum to Taggart Ramones blog) by Ricki C. (explicit language)

According to Wikipedia, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School – featuring The Ramones – was released on August 24th, 1979.

What Wikipedia DOESN’T say, however, is that the movie studio – New World Pictures – originally released the movie to debut in DRIVE-IN theaters ONLY the first weekend, if not the entire first week of the film.  (I had rock & roll associates – including one local tastemaker/critic who shall remain nameless because he’s likely to get pissy if I call him out in print – who thought the Ramones movie was, and I quote, “going to be a serious dissection of the punk-rock oeuvre/art-house film that would play the Drexel.”  My reply?  “Curt, the movie is called Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.  It contains The Ramones.  It ain’t playin’ the Drexel.”)

Anyway, Friday night August 24th, 1979, me and three of my reprobate West Side rock & roll buddies hit the 3-C Drive-in to catch Rock & Roll High School.  Actually, let me be perfectly honest: it was actually two of my buddies and we let a guy named Ellis that we worked with in the warehouse at Service Merchandise come along.  Ellis was a Native American who bore a striking resemblance to the mute Indian character in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, and was only marginally smaller than that guy.  Truthfully I wasn’t all that crazy about having Ellis along, as he had demonstrated a tendency to be – let’s put it kindly – “unstable” at parties after he got a few drinks in him.

It was a warm summer night in 1979, so I was still drinking, which means I was probably belting down Southern Comfort & cokes that we would’ve smuggled into the movie.  Plus I’m absolutely certain we would’ve been smoking pot.  We always brought along lawn chairs to the drive-in so we could sit outside the car, and by the middle of Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (I actually remember the exact line) – when Dey Young as Kate Rambeau says, “Isn’t it sad when a family has to suffer so much?” as she delivers Riff's second family death-note to principal Mary Woronov – I was laughing my drunk & stoned ass off when a full beer can slammed into the side of my face.

I stood up, kicked over the lawn chair and whirled around, yelling “WHO THREW THIS?  WHO FUCKING THREW THIS?” to the cars around us.  The guy in the car to our right – who was also smoking a joint at that moment, to be entirely accurate – pointed past me into our car.  There Ellis sat, with a shit-eating grin on his face.  “Did you throw this at me?” I said, furious.  “Yeah,” he said.  “WHY?” I asked.  “You were laughing too loud,” was his stoned-faced reply, and he continued with, “You wanna do something about it?”  I was pissed, but my friend Rob said, quietly, “Let it go, Ric, it’s not worth it.”  Ellis was just too big and mean to fuck with in that state.  I had personally witnessed him beat the shit out of guys FAR bigger than me, and I didn’t have my buddy Greg The Roadie along to do my fighting for me.

I sat back down, fuming, to watch the rest of the movie.  About twenty minutes later Ellis left the car to go take a piss at the concession stand building in the center of the drive-in.  And he never came back.

We watched the rest of Rock ‘n’ Roll High School and the first half-hour of the second movie before our third buddy, Bob, said, “Hey man, Ellis has been gone a long time.  You think we should go look for him?”  “You go fucking look for him,” I shot back, “he didn’t hit YOU in the face with a full beer can.”

Ellis still wasn’t back by time the second movie ended at 1 a.m.  Rob & Bob looked around for him a little bit, at and around the concession building, but he was nowhere to be found, so we left and went to Western Pancake House for a bite.

Long story short: the next Monday Ellis was back at work with a black eye and cuts on his face.  It turned out he got lost in a drunken stupor and couldn’t find his way back to our car after his piss.  He wandered into the parking area on the OTHER side of the drive-in – which was showing a Disney cartoon movie, by the way, the icing on the cake – and finally just got into a random car and laid down on the back seat to sleep it off.

The problem was, that car was occupied by a nice West Side family of five: mom & dad and three kids under ten, and having a huge, drunken Indian get into their car, shove their kids aside and lay down on the back seat to pass out JUST DID NOT PLAY.  The drive-in security guard couldn’t rouse Ellis to get him out of the family’s car, so he called the cops.  In the process of being hauled out of the vehicle, Ellis started drunkenly fighting the cops and they quickly & efficiently beat him into submission.  (It’s too easy, but in rock & roll terms: Ellis fought the law and the law won.)  They tossed him in the drunk tank, kept him locked up for the weekend and turned him loose Monday morning, whereupon he came straight to work at Service Merchandise. 

We never brought Ellis along to the drive-in ever again.  – Ricki C. / March 31st, 2015

By the way, beer can to the face or not, I consider Rock 'n' Roll High School one of the five best rock & roll movies ever made, and a triumph in every way.  (Although the scene where Joey Ramone sings to P.J. Soles in her bedroom would've made a lot more sense with Robin Zander of Cheap Trick.)

Brian Phillips and Jeff Hassler "Prepare" For This Year's Fantasy Baseball Draft (Explicit)

Editor's note: I didn't think it would last. Brian Phillips and Jeff Hassler are going into their third season co-managing a fantasy baseball team. 

To say the pair have a difficult relationship is an understatement. Hassler's love of watery lime-flavored light beer, Ed Hardy shirts, and "douche music" is plenty for Phillips, a man Hassler has described as "a graying hipster" and "the world's oldest skinny anglophile motherfucker." To make matters all the worse, Hassler is an avowed Yankee fan. Phillips, on the other hand, is a lifelong Mariners devotee. Hassler has compared Phillips' frequent reminders of his long-running suffering at the hands of his often bottom-dwelling M's as "the baseball version of my constantly complaining ex-wife." Phillips counters that Hassler's ex-wife doesn't complain any more now that "she's signed with another club." The bile flowing between them is, for those that know them, cheap entertainment.

Still, through some sort of grim dedication, the Westerville Fister Of Fury enter their third season coming off a solid second place showing in 2014. Last summer was a vast improvement over 2013's 7th place finish. The two owners have agreed to let us peer inside their thought processes as they prepare to draft their 2015 squad on Tuesday.

Hassler, since you didn't answer my email, I've decided on our keepers: Rendon, Betts, Gray, deGrom, and Paxton. You'll recall that in our league kept players must be 27 years old or under. Thoughts?

What email? I saw no email, bud. Betts is on the Red Sox, right?

And let's get that out of the way right now. Need I remind you, Jeff, that last season, when I drafted players based on the stats they would bring to our squad, we finished in the money. When I was out of town in 2013 and you grabbed every God-damned Yankee you could find we finished 7th!

Jeter was coming off an outstanding year in 2012! 

Yes, it was real nice, but that doesn't mean you take a 38 year old shortstop in the fifth round, especially when the man's ankle snapped in half during the playoffs.... 

I thought he'd be ready by at least June.

73, Jeff. 

Is that how fucking old you are, Phillips?

No, that's the number of plate appearances the "captain" managed in 2013. 5th round! And don't get me started on C.C. Sabathia.

Again Phillips, great year in 2012. 

And I told you his home run rate was leaching upward that season and a guy with that many innings on his arm in that bandbox new stadium was a recipe for failure. 

Well, shows you what you know because he had a bad knee last year, not his arm.

His 2013 was shit-awful, Hassler. Last year came to a merciful end with the bum knee. You have a gift, Jeff, for identifying the final year a player is any good and then drafting that player after that final solid year is over.

You and your nerd shit. 

And of course your biggest achievement was making sure we had Alex Rodriguez. Unbelievable. 

And he's had a lot of time to chill and get himself together. I'd take him again this year. 

Well, we'll try to find room on the roster for an injury- prone/cheater/ part-time DH.

You're just angry he'll beat your beloved Mariners.

Yes, that's it Hassler. It was a happy time for me to at least have him on our team when he went .244, 7/19. Any issues with the other keepers? I know Rendon is hurt, but there's no final prognosis and I feel like he's worth stashing at only 24 years old.

I'll bet you a sixer of Bud Light Lime he has under 300 plate appearances this year.

You're on, but when I win I'd like some Four String Brew, please.

Hipster fuck. I see you protected your precious Mariner,  James Paxton.

I admit he's a bit riskier, but in that ballpark with his heavy ground-ball tilt regardless I like him to excel this year on a good club.

Another sixer the Yanks win more games than Seattle

Yes, please. I will take that bet, shithead. Rounding out the five we have reigning NL Rookie Of The Year Jacob deGrom and the solid Oakland starter Sonny Gray. 

Yup.

With those three locked up we don't have worry about pitching that early. 

The Mets suck.

deGrom doesn't and the Mets will also win more games than the Yankees. Will you give me another six-pack for that? Are you going to be at the draft?

Can't. I have a date. 

That's fine. Where are you taking her? Do not say Applebees.

Fuck you.

Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Drops Indiana from Tour

For immediate release: Following the lead of our rock n roll brothers in Wilco, Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? will also not be performing any shows in the state of Indiana this year. The rest of the tour remains unchanged. 

For further details and ticket info please click here.

Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? is a band in addition to a damn good question. 

Pencilstorm Looking For a Writer to Cover the NBA Playoffs and More..

Howdy folks, Colin here. It's getting to be that time of the year to start paying closer attention the the National Basketball Association. Especially with LeBron back home trying to end that pesky 5,000 year Cleveland championship drought .

I'd love to take it on myself, but frankly, between Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?, fantasy baseball preparations and running the coffee shop, I'm swamped.

Anyway, if you, or somebody you know would like to knock out a weekly NBA playoff recap to be published on Pencilstorm, please send an email or a sample of something to our submissions page so Ricki C. can give final approval. Don't take it personally if he doesn't like it. Ricki is an old school journalist who is hard to please. 

Click here for a link to our submissions page 

In fact, we are always open to submissions: so even if sports isn't your thing, food, movies, TV, books, music, art, business, parenting and Cheap Trick are subjects we are interested in as well.

Please give us a shout. What do you have to lose? You could be just one click away from becoming a blogosphere sensation. Looking forward to hearing from you, Colin