Is This Week the Low Point in Browns History? The NCP Ponder the Question.

Last Monday night, the current Browns lost to the former Browns on a blocked field goal return on the last play of the game. This week, the topic of how bad the Cleveland Browns organization is has been a major story on ESPN. Is this the worst Browns team ever and is this the low point in team history?

There is just so much terrible football to consider. If we are talking specific line-ups, I think anytime Ken Dorsey is at the helm of your offense, that is both the worst team and lowest point. However, if we are talking collective eras, I would say this Island of Misfit Toys takes the cake. When you’re reduced to hiring your 14th choice at head coach and you match him with a novice G.M. (whom he has no rapport with), the odds are against success. Rather than augment this inexperience with some front office veterans and seasoned coordinators, the opposite occurred and the results have been nauseating. Top this sundae of football ineptitude off with the cherry of jettisoning solid guys like Hoyer, Sheard and Rubin while pandering to a midget Q.B. whose lifestyle leans more towards C.C. Deville than Tom Brady and voila!: you have the suckiest bunch of sucks ever to grace the Brown and Orange. I cannot, however, say this is the lowest point, because I don’t think this S-show has bottomed out quite yet. To paraphrase the mighty Quinn Fallon, “It's not the end of the world, but I can see it from here.” Expect the lowest point to be arriving sometime in late December.

If you were the GM, what would the plan be and what is the soonest fans could expect a playoff contending team?

"Chill Browns fans, it's all good." - Johnny Manzeil

"Chill Browns fans, it's all good." - Johnny Manzeil

I’ve been checking my phone and email consistently, and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be getting the actual call, so I’m going at this question in 100% fanboy fashion. My first call is to Jim Tressel, with the understanding that he is to work day and night on translating Tressel ball to the NFL. At the very least, I know the horrific special team play will cease. Next, I ignore the Trent curse and draft Zeke in the first round. The current state of the Browns offense will not support a franchise QB, and I think Elliot needs much less around him to make an immediate impact. The rest of the draft will be used to bolster the offense, specifically at W.R. On defense, it’s clear that Danny Shelton cannot control the 0-3 gaps on his own, so a switch back to a 4-3 is necessary. This will also benefit Armonty Bryant, who I am a fan of. It probably goes without saying that Johnny’s stuff would be packed and shipped to a bar in Texas before the ink on my contract is dry. Actually I may drive JF’s stuff down there myself, and stop in Houston to try and convince Hoyer to return, LBJ style. The end result of my general managing (using Tressel math) should be a Super Bowl in 2 years and an unprecedented run of success against Pittsburgh.

The Browns finally re-signed Terrelle Pryor after cutting him for a guy that never played a down for the team. Are we rooting for TP to get a chance to play a game under center before the season ends?

To use S.A.T. terminology, T.P. is to me as Johnny is to his gaggle of apologists. I am pumped to watch him get an opportunity to showcase his considerable athletic ability with the Browns, and if that is at Q.B., so be it.

If Browns fans had to choose between the Bengals or Steelers to win the Super Bowl, who would it be? And you can't say neither either.

The Steelers, hands down. The Rooneys were the only owners who voted against the Browns move.

Any chance this week?

I am card carrying member of #Austinsarmy, and would love to see him build on his solid performance on Monday. Unfortunately, the frigg’n Bengals have proven they are a far superior football team top to bottom. So, in a word, no.

Bengals 28 Browns 17.

Bengals, Browns and David Price? Kevin A. Breaks it Down.

Bengals, Browns and David Price?  Kevin A breaks it all down with a bonus question.

Apologies for my two week ill-ridden absence.   Here's a quick recap of what you may have missed.

- The Bengals dropped a heartbreaker in Arizona, got back to their winning ways against the Rams, Geno Atkins is the best player on the field, and Tyler Eifert is injured (more on that in a minute).

What went right in both games was Andy Dalton.  Dalton is proving his critics wrong on a weekly basis, with one mediocre game (Houston) out of 11.  He's been really good.   The most noteworthy player, however. has been Geno Atkins.  Atkins is fully recovered from his knee injury and looks every bit the dominant force we have become accustomed to watching.    He's changing games, and that's a special trait owned by very few defensive lineman in the NFL.   He's leading The Men, even if he never says a word to the press.

Up next is volume two of the battle of Ohio.    On to the questions...


Tyler Eifert has a neck stinger and may not play against the Browns.  How worried are you this injury could linger?


Stingers suck, and from what I hear are very painful.  Eifert should sit this one out, plain and simple.  If I'm Marvin Lewis I don't even consider making him active this Sunday.   If they need Eifert to beat the Browns, something else went terribly wrong.    Could the injury linger?  Yes, and they sometimes do.   The positive track is that Eifert says he's fine, so I'm cautiously optimistic he will be ready to go against Pittsburgh.

The Browns are starting their 15th QB against the Bengals in the Marvin Lewis era.  I'll stop there.

It's amazing isn't it?  I think it's 15 QB's in 26 match-ups, which is insane.  Only Cleveland could manage something lame like that.   Austin Davis will be the man, but it shouldn't change a thing on the game prep.  Davis really isn't a bad QB though, so the Bengals need to take him seriously. They have a history of losing to new quarterbacks.

The Bengals play the Steelers after the Browns.  Is this a trap game?

No.  The Bengals have been focused all year, and frankly have beaten up on the bad teams in the league for the most part. Normally the Browns pose problems, but they are so bad I just don't see it. They don't do anything very well in the aspect of football, nothing to hang their hat on.  They don't tackle well, and they can't defend the run OR the pass for that matter.

Assuming Eifert doesn't play, how will the Bengals attack the Browns?

Jeremy Hill.  Hue Jackson slowly is starting to get Hill going for the playoff run, and he should see the ball quite a bit on Sunday.  Hill looked very good against a talented Rams front, and he should have no problem navigating through Cleveland's line.  I also think Marvin Jones is due for a nice game, so watch him as well.

The line currently sits with Cincy a 10 point favorite.  Too much?

Too little.  I guessed the line would be closer to 12 to be honest.  That being said The Men should have little problem covering the 10.   I'm not entirely positive Cleveland is trying that hard to win games in the first place.  Browns hang around early, Geno and Hill eventually wear their lines out, Bengals 31-10 is the call.


Here's a bonus. You love baseball and the Red Sox.  David Price has to make you pretty happy, no?

Funny enough, Brian Phillips said it was a great birthday present to me and it really was. Boston doesn't belong in last place and I think they have had enough.  Price is one of the games top pitchers, and they also traded for one of the top closers in Kimbrell.  Too early to predict anything, but yes.......  Very happy.     Stay tuned this summer for some baseball stuff from me. Already looking forward to it.

On Any Given Sunday - by Pete Vogel

NFL Corporate Headquarters, New York City, USA

Dear Stakeholders:

We had a profitable Fourth Quarter but I know there will be ways to make First Quarter 2016 even more profitable than Fourth Quarter 2015.  We have many high-volume television broadcasts that could net a record yield, so we must attack with a ferocity we haven’t seen in awhile.

For instance, this Sunday our New England branch will be hosting a live television event on primetime with our Denver branch, and we expect the match-up to yield high ratings, perhaps the highest since Fourth Quarter 2015 (when the Green Bay branch hosted the Seattle branch).  With the additions/transfers that have taken place in the last couple of years, we think the product(s) on the field will match the expectations of our shareholders and customers in both the New England and Denver markets.  It’s also possible to yield a big return in other markets as well, given the potential product that will be presented Sunday evening.  

We mustn’t forget the New England branch is currently yielding near-perfect numbers, so we think this will definitely boost ratings.  They could be better at third-down percentages and red-zone efficiency, but their win-loss record is still perfect and sales have been exceptional in the New England Main Office (aka. Gillette Field).  I’ve been in touch with both branch managers – Mr. Bellicheck and Mr. Kubiak – and informed them of the lofty expectations from this live television event.  They said we’ll be proud of the product(s) presented on the playing field and both have enforced this sense of urgency with staff and personnel.  We definitely hope our Denver customers in particular will enjoy the live television broadcast that should warrant the highest Nielsen ratings of First Quarter 2016.  Their transfer from our Indianapolis branch, Mr. Peyton Manning, will not be performing tonight, but we can assure this won’t affect our ratings too drastically.  We’ve embraced a new ad campaign within the Creative Services Team: “Can the unproven second stringer take his place amongst the elite?”  We anticipate high numbers indeed, at least until the beginning of the second session of the broadcast.

I’ve contacted Media Central from the National Broadcasting Corporation [NBC] who is hosting the live television event in front of a sold-out stadium audience, and told the Sunday Night Football Media Team to hype this event to draw in the highest Nielsen Ratings possible.  We’ve had numerous meetings with our Live Broadcast Crew and have told them the gravity of this particular event; so far, Mr. Collingsworth and Mr. Michaels have expressed great enthusiasm over the prospects of the event.  They spent an extra couple days looking through the numbers and feel confident this will be an extremely high yield.  I just hope nothing happens to quell this enthusiasm: We all witnessed the unfortunate event that took place on Thanksgiving day, when a customer was able to break free, run onto the field and express a political/moral/religious cause that disrupted our broadcast.  Hopefully nothing will happen in our Denver Branch this Sunday night.  Nothing ruins a live television event more than spontaneous acts of lunacy.  We can’t afford this kind of mishap on Sunday night.

We’ve hired extra police and security details for this Sunday’s event, largely due to the unforeseen tragedy of Paris a few weeks back.  We hope that no such circumstances will curtail our live feed this Sunday.  It’s important that we’re militant in creating a flawless broadcast for our shareholders and customers.

So far the expectation level has been unsurpassed this Quarter, largely due to the fact that the New England branch has had some negative media fallout due to the Fiscal 2015 Playoff Scandal involving the Indianapolis branch.  All expect some blowback from our New England employee, Mr. Tom Brady, who has done a remarkable job of maintaining his poise while under siege.  If this is the game that he comes unhinged, think of what great television we’ll be broadcasting to our customers?  I’m sure our New England customers won’t find this too enjoyable, but I guarantee the rest of the market would LOVE to see this happen!  I’m practically giddy at the prospects!

It’s very important that we treat this game with the same level of importance as the Playoff Television Broadcasts and the Super Bowl Television Broadcasts.  I cannot be more clear about this: if we want to increase marketshare and surpass our 2015 numbers, tonight has to run smoothly on all cylinders: from media relations, player relations, personnel relations, uniform enforcement, broadcast team, all the way down to cameramen, network liaisons and producers.  This is the game to end all games for First Quarter—we must not screw this up.  And if we do, my meeting with Mr. Goodell this Friday will not be a pleasant one.  We could count our Christmas bonuses goodbye if we screw this up.

Yours,

Mr. I.M.A. Patsy