An Open Letter to Elliott Murphy - by Ricki C.

(note: I don’t wanna come off all professorial here and start handin’ out rock & roll homework assignments, but this blog entry is gonna make a whole lot more sense if you click on this link to read, “Lookin’ Back” on the Elliott Murphy.com website. Thanks in advance, and you won’t be sorry you read it.)

Let me try to be what passes for succinct for Ricki C.: Elliott Murphy is my favorite songwriter of all time in rock & roll.  And since I could care less about the times before AND after rock & roll, that makes him my favorite songwriter of all time.  (Eat your hearts out Harold Arlen, Rodgers & Hart, Cole Porter, Marcus Mumford, et al.)  Elliott isn’t necessarily my favorite rock & roll performer, that nod would go to Bruce Springsteen and Pete Townshend (although, in all honesty, Townshend’s live reign lasted only from 1965 to 1973, and he probably hasn’t written a truly great song since “Slit Skirts” in 1982).

But, as usual, I digress……

Elliott Murphy is my favorite rock & roll songwriter of all time.

Murphy started out in 1973 as one of “The New Dylan’s.”  For a couple of years, he and Bruce Springsteen were neck & neck for that title, until “Born To Run” rocketed Bruce to the next level and Elliott’s “Drive All Night” faded his career to the rock & roll twilight. 
    
Murphy never stopped playing, though.  While Springsteen ascended to arenas & stadiums, Elliott was relegated to smaller venues, playing his music in clubs & bars, and releasing 35 albums to this point in 2016.  (I most recently saw him play in Piermont, N.Y. in 2012 and he had a great what I term Elliott-Murphy-one-liner about the situation: "Bruce and I agreed years ago to divide up the venues, he took the 60,000 seat arenas and I chose the 90-seat clubs.")  Elliott had been popular in France and on the European Continent from the early 1980’s on, and finally made the almost inevitable move to Paris in 1990.  (Another prime Elliott-Murphy-one-liner: “New York was a great city to be young in; Paris is a wonderful city to grow old in.”)    

So what is my point here, in this Open Letter to Elliott Murphy?  My point is: Yes, Elliott, I am waiting with baited breath here in Columbus, Ohio for your next record.  I’m waiting with baited breath because at 63 years old there are precious few rock & roll artists whose next recorded work I await AT ALL, let alone with baited breath.  Off the top of my head I would include Ian Hunter, Alejandro Escovedo, and maybe Elvis Costello on that short list.  (By the same token, I just got the new The Ties That Bind box set for Christmas from my lovely wife Debbie, but even I didn’t buy High Hopes, Springsteen’s last studio record, and I haven’t paid for a disc by Bob Dylan in years, so there ya go.)

It seems like more & more with each passing year that anybody can be Kanye West, or Miley Cyrus, or Justin Bieber; anybody can be Blake Shelton and/or Gwen Stefani and get their mugs splashed all over People magazine, Extra, Entertainment Tonight or one of the what-seems-like-weekly country music award shows I’m forced to avoid on my T.V.  At the same time, as I sit typing this, Colin, Herb, & Biggie (along with Rick Kinsinger) of hometown boys Watershed are driving the 10 hours south to Joe Oestreich’s place in South Carolina to work up new material for upcoming recording sessions.  There’s no good, sound reason for them to be doing this.  Watershed have a solid body of work behind them: from 1995’s Twister to 2012’s Brick & Mortar, with the tremendous The More It Hurts, The More It Works and The Fifth Of July falling solidly in the middle, it’s a repertoire any sane rock & roll band would be proud of.  But they’re driving 10 hours to work up more songs.  Why?  Because they are rockers, and that’s what rockers do.

Sometime this month Willie Phoenix and his mighty Soul Underground will play at a bar called Eldorado’s for an avid handful of diehard fans.  Why?  Because they are rockers, and that’s what rockers do.  Somewhere this month, in every city & town in America, guys & girls will strap on a guitar or sit behind a drumkit and play their hearts out to strangers who couldn’t give a damn, or to a few people who like them, or both.  Why?  Because they are rockers, and that’s what rockers do. 

An Open Letter to Elliott Murphy: Elliott, please make another record, because that's what rockers do.  – Ricki C. / January 6th, 2016      

TWO DECADES (OR CENTURIES, FOR THAT MATTER) OF ELLIOTT MURPHY

Kevin A. has the questions for the Bengals playoff game, with a shocking prediction!

The Bengals are on to the playoffs for the fifth consecutive season, but they have not won a playoff game since 1990.  It's against the hated Steelers in prime time, giving the Bengals a trifecta of demons to overcome.   On to the questions......

Historically, where does this rank among all time Bengals games?

You would think it ranks behind their two Super Bowl appearances, but it's been so long since they have won a playoff game I would say it ranks up there as the biggest game in team history.  Nobody even remembers those two games against the 49ers (unless you are old like us), but everyone remembers Marvin Lewis is 0-6 in the playoffs.  They need to win this game.  

The last time these two teams met, Bengals starting QB Andy Dalton left the game early with a broken thumb. The good news is that back up AJ McCarron got some quality reps against a Steeler defense that has been prone to some lapses. Should this a plus and what does AJ need to do to win this game?

It's definitely not a plus.  While Dalton is 0-4 in the post season, he is miles ahead of McCarron with his line reads.  In a playoff game that could end up being vital, especially against a blitzing team like Pittsburgh.    That being said, AJM (how I will refer to McCarron) is a smart player, and everyone in Cincinnati to a man says he has the "it" factor.  Adam Jones says he can tell a winner when he sees one, and he says AJM is one.   To win this game he must stay away from the turnovers, and in his three starts he has only committed one so far (late in the game at Denver).   He has played well, and if he can continue to to be error-free or close to it, the Bengals have a real chance.  

Bad blood spilled onto the field in the last matchup, as you feared it may.  Is it going to happen again?

I'd like to sit here and say the Bengals will keep their cool, but I don't know that is possible.  The hope is they don't do anything to draw 15-yard penalties, but I think that's going to be in store for both teams.   I would imagine the NFL has already spoken to both Mike Tomlin and Lewis, so we'll see what happens.   They put this game in prime time for a reason.

What is the most important area of this game the Bengals need to control in order to advance to the next round?

I wish there was just one, but really it's three.  Run the football effectively, don't finish on the negative side of the turnover battle, and keep AJM clean.  As of now there is a strong chance this game could be impacted by heavy rain, and that should favor the Bengals if DeAngelo Williams misses the game (and it looks like he might).    It's very important to take some pressure of AJM and keep him upright.  The Bengals are one play away from Keith Wenning playing QB, and you would have to google him to even know who he is.  That's not good.  

Heath Miller has torched the Bengals.  What can they do to slow him down?

The Bengals will try to put safety Shawn Williams on Miller, but even though Miller has 20 receptions in two games versus CIN, I think he's the least of their worries.   Pittsburgh will get their yards, but as long as the Bengals can limit the big plays to Brown and Bryant, they will be okay with the Miller receptions.   

So here it is.  The 3rd meeting, a playoff game, and in prime time.  How does this one play out?

On paper, this game looks in the Steelers favor, but in reality it isn't.   Fact of the matter is, Ben R. has not played all that great in two games against Cincinnati, and AJM now has three starts under his belt with two pretty good running backs behind him.   He also gets Tyler Eifert, who the Steelers knocked out early in the last match.  The Steelers struggle against the TE position, and A.J. Green has had a field day with that secondary.   Call me crazy, but I think the Bengals end the drought.  They run the ball well enough and AJM makes some big plays.  

 Bengals win 24-23 and cover the spread (+3)   

Browns Again Explode Like the Death Star - by The North Coast Posse

Once again, the Cleveland Browns organization has exploded like the Death Star leaving dazed Browns  backers wondering what will happen next. The North Coast Posse called an emergency meeting at Patrick J's on High Street determined to get to the bottom of this no matter how many hours or beers it took.....

1) First things first: Where the hell was Manziel last weekend? Can you give us the latest info (or at least your best guess) to what happened and what it means?

Well, this story has taken some serious turns since Billy Football sent out the "Aw Shucks" selfie with his pug. What I believe is happening, is a guy with serious authority and self- awareness issues is pushing the envelope just as far as he can. Browns fans were so quick to dismiss the 4 loko video, without considering he was posturing in front of the camera rapping to the same song that's in the snippet that got his starter status revoked. It's no surprise that it was leaked as, JFF was just throwing another middle finger to the Browns organization and its fans. What's sad is that a large percentage of fans ignored the middle finger and sprinted to his defense. The kid truly believes he makes his own rules, and with an endless supply of enablers at his ready, there is no reason for him to think he doesn't. He is caustic and needs to be removed from this team as soon as possible. 

2) If I recall, last season Johnny threw a rager the NIGHT BEFORE the last game of the season and missed the game. Doesn't he understand that if he just waits 24 hours and just shows up for his job that pays him millions, he can spend the next 5 months partying in Vegas and nobody would get pissed at him? 

Like I said, Johnny believes he makes his own rules (on and off the field). There is no reason for him to adhere to team policy as no one has ever held him accountable in his entire spoiled existence.

3) Ok- make the case that Petitine and Farmer deserved to be fired

Nothing more needs to be said other than 3 wins in 21 games. On top of that, the fact that they remained at odds and could not work together to ensure professional harmony is an indictment of both of them.

4) Is there a reason one or both should have been retained?

If Johnny was forced upon either one of them, I think a case could be made. That guy is a disaster and a catalyst for the current S-show (version 2015).

5) So it seems the Browns are again hell-bent on hiring a coach before a GM and meanwhile, Haslam's attorney friend has been promoted to some mysterious new football related position. Should we be concerned?

Surprisingly, I'm optimistic about the new direction. A concrete plan is better than the circus of 2013. Corporate restructuring is the new buzz word in the business world, so what Haslam is doing is actually following a trend rather than taking some sort of renegade stance. I'm excited to watch it play out.

6) Best case for new coach and direction?

I have zero interest in the yearly Gruden/Cowher hoopla. Nor would I like to see Urban head up 71. The Browns need to find a coach who embraces the cerebral approach and will work in tandem with the infrastructure starting day 1. Personally, I'd like Matt Patricia (D.C. for the Patriots). He has an engineering background along with a PHD in systems from the University of Bill B. I know the last Patriots D. C. didnt fair to well, but I think we'd all consider 10-6 to be a dream at this point

7) Believable case for new coach and direction.

I believe Patricia is an actual legit option, but I also know he is a hot commodity and we're a 4 at best (maybe a 5.5 if last call was just made.) If he goes elsewhere, I think Marrone (O.C. from Jax, former Bills head coach) is an option as the Jaguars have also been taking an analytical approach over the last few years.

8. The Browns will draft ___________ at #2

Jared Goff, QB Cal

Whattya Wanna Hear?

There's a great bootleg-turned-legit-release called Metallic K.O. that details the 1974 last-ever gig by Ann Arbor's (non)favorite sons - The Stooges - at a club called The Michigan Palace.  The record is almost a non-visual documentary as much as it is a musical performance, as The Stooges plow through their set while being pummeled with ice, eggs and, at one point, by a camera hurled at the band by audience members, many of whom were members of a local Michigan biker gang whom Iggy Pop had called out on the air on Detroit radio earlier in the week. 

Anyway, late in the set, a clearly exhausted (and, one would imagine, wasted) Iggy Pop - having expended The Stooges normal set on the audience (if there WAS such a thing as a Stooges normal set at that date & time) - slurs out "Whattya wanna hear?" And that is one and the same question Pencilstorm would like to ask out readers/followers today, the second day of a New Year.

Whattya wanna hear?

The Pencilstorm staff has always considered our little blog a cooperative effort with our audience: we wanna hear what you have to say, we've invited readers to submit their own pieces for publication (though precious few have taken us up on our invitation), we often try to reply to your comments (and not always to one-up and/or ridicule those comments, although that is our go-to/default inclination).

So, whattya wanna hear?

Do you wanna hear road stories from the Watershed days by Colin that weren't covered in Joe Oestreich's super-fine Hitless Wonder?  Do you wanna hear what Wal Ozello's ten favorite science-fiction novels are?  Do you wanna hear what Ricki C. thinks of T.V., movies & books, outside & apart from his usual rock & roll musings?  Do you wanna hear Jeff Hassler recount tales of the dim heartbreak days & nights following his ex-wife Kim leaving him for a minor-league hockey defenseman?  (Wait, scratch that, NOBODY wants to hear that.)

More sports coverage?  Less sports coverage?  Regular columns on movie reviews or music releases?  Summary bad-mouthings on how much the Blue Jackets suck and wondering why they won't just TRY to play better hockey?  You tell us.  Seriously, in 2016, whattya wanna hear?

My Star Wars New Year’s Resolutions - by Wal Ozello

Everything right now is Star Wars-themed and we at Pencilstorm hope it’s not too late to hop on the bandwagon. I don’t claim to have some confounded theory on who Rey is related to, but I do have some ideas on how I can better myself in 2016 through life lessons learned in the Star Wars movies. So here’s my three New Year’s Resolutions through the lens of the greatest science fiction movies ever.

Ignore the fear; embrace the light.

If you’re a Star Wars geek, you must be familiar with the Yoda quote. If not, know that it’s basically a math equation: fear=hate=anger=suffering=dark side. With the coming election year, many politicians will try to capitalize on our emotion of fear: scary immigrants, loss of employment, terrorism, gun violence, taking away your guns, taking away your reproductive rights, and general destruction of the American lifestyle that you know.  I commit to not fall victim to this fear-mongering. America is the greatest country in the world. I’m not scared of any of this crap the media or the politicians are trying to feed me. I’m done with fear and all about believing in the good in this country. This would be a wonderful resolution for everyone at a personal level. Can you imagine the power of light side of the force in all of us?

Have My Friends’ Back More Often in 2016.

One of my favorite moments in all the Star Wars movies is at the end of A New Hope when Han Solo shows back up during the attack on the Death Star to cover Luke, hit Darth Vader’s ship, and send it reeling into space.  An on-going theme throughout all of the movies is the power of strong friendship. As we get older, life gets more complex and we tend to focus on tactical things to get us through: groceries, work, shuffling the kids to a sporting event, go here, get this, run, run, run. Time well spent with others seem to slip through the cracks. Frankly, I want 2016 to be more about YOU and less about ME. Wouldn’t it be an awesome year if all of us were more like the Han Solo of “You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!” than the “I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money.” Han Solo?

Believe There’s Always A Simple Solution.

Did you ever notice that there’s always a simple solution to destroy the big bad thing that the Empire has concocted? Remember the Death Star? The ultimate power in the universe? Luke destroyed it by sending a blast down a thermal exhaust port. While many thought it was impossible, Luke knew he could hit it because he used to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. There are many more examples of dire situations they got stuck in: the trash compactor, trapped on Cloud City, Han Solo carbonite, the new bigger badder Death Star, and the even bigger badder Starkiller in The Force Awakens. There’s always something that seems impossible that all of a sudden there’s simple solution to defeat. In 2016, I’m committing to believing in simple solutions for everything. Whether it’s the impossible feat of lower gun violence or helping my son with his overwhelming math homework, there’s a simple solution around the corner.  All I have to do is believe it can be done.

The year ahead will be a rough ride… a kind of transition year until we get to 2017. Things may get worse before they get better. But I do know one thing: I’ve already pre-ordered my copy of The Force Awakens on Blu-Ray which releases in April. I’ll be watching that over and over instead of the election hype.

From all of us here at Pencilstorm, may the force be with you in 2016. Happy New Year.

Wal Ozello is a science fiction techno-thriller novelist and the author of Assignment 1989 ,  Revolution 1990, and Sacrifice 2086. He's the lead singer of the former Columbus rock band Armada and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Do Buckeye Fans and/or Players Even Care About this Game? Baver Answers Colin's Questions

Colin: It is my sense that most Buckeye fans are viewing this game as a glorified scrimmage. Sure, a win over Notre Dame would be nice, but considering nothing is really at stake, it's basically just a fun game to watch on New Year's Day. I suspect the Domer fan base views it differently. What are your thoughts on the overall vibe of this match up?

Baver: Most Buckeye fans I talk to think the Bucks roll in this one, but I’m not seeing it. It’s definitely a bigger game for Notre Dame than Ohio State….and I think this game is VERY big for the Irish.

Colin: Basically the same question, but focusing on the players. Many of these Buckeyes are turning pro and already have a National Championship under their belt. Should they really care if they win the Fiesta Bowl or is it just an excuse to party in the desert sunshine?

Baver: Not getting maximum output out of the OSU guys is a major concern. The following underclassmen are playing (or likely playing) their last games as Buckeyes: Zeke, Bosa, Cardale, M Thomas, J Marshall, D Lee, V Bell, and Apple….with Tyvis also considering the jump. Will some of these guys want to protect their NFL stock and scale it back a notch? It wouldn’t shock me.

Colin: Can the Buckeyes win this game even if they aren't as fired up as they were for the Michigan game?

Baver: Yes. They won’t be as fired up as they were for Michigan, but they will still field considerably more talent Friday than Notre Dame will….and that isn’t taking anything away from the Irish. I think the bettors expect Notre Dame to be up for this game more than Ohio State, yet Vegas still has OSU as a 6½ pt. favorite.

Colin: Can the Buckeye O carry the momentum from that destruction of the Maize & Blue a month ago?

Baver: They may need to get more done through the air. Michigan’s defense folded late in the year and I expect the Irish defense to challenge the Ohio State offense a bit more. But if JTB and the Buckeye passing game have made strides in December practices, Notre Dame could be in trouble.

Colin: Will depth on the D Line be a problem for the Buckeyes?

Baver: This is another huge concern for Ohio State. There is a monumental downgrade from Aldolphus Washington to the #2 DT….and that #2 DT Tommy Schutt is also out. They’ll play Bosa inside a lot, but the loss of Washington is a big one.

Colin: Give us an update on your picks to date and what other Bowl games will you be keeping an eye on?

Baver: 22-13-1 against the spread, including 10-2 ATS picking the OSU games, which includes 7 correct OSU picks in a row.  I think the ND game could go either way. The “situational” angle screams: Notre Dame…to cover at a minimum. I will take the Bucks to win the game and call it 31-30 OSU. I think Clemson is being disrespected a bit and see them beating Oklahoma. And I hope I am wrong with this one, but I think Alabama takes care of Sparty by 2 TD’s-plus…despite Dino’s record as a dog. Unlike the Bama-OSU matchup last year, this is a talent mismatch, and Bama now has a big chip on their shoulder.