Kevin A. and Big $ With Thoughts on Super Bowl 50

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-- What are the chances Carolina throws a new school beat down on olde-timey Denver?

K.A. - Denver has a really good defense and it has enabled them to win big games all year.  They beat Pittsburgh, NE (2x), and Cincinnati. They have shown they play well in big games.  I think the odds of a beat down are low.

Big $ -  I believe the precedent has been set for watching the Peyton-led Broncos get beat down by a defensively dynamic team in a Super Bowl. On the other side of the ball, Cam's superhuman mobility and a strong running game will make SB 50 look a lot different than this year's AFC championship game.

- Do you think Cam would get as much heat for his celebrations if he looked like Peyton Manning? (White guy)

Big $ -  I'll cite another precedent, JJ Watt. Ole JJ has pulled out every dance move imaginable without even the slightest raise of a suburban eyebrow. The reason: he looks goofy as hell. Cam's end zone celebrations make it appear he would give a backup dancer for Janet Jackson a run for their money. This can be unsettling and potentially threatening to Middle America, and nothing sets off the heartland like a perceived threat (just ask most cable news outlets). So I think chances are good.

K.A. - I don't know, but I would love to see it.  It would be the highlight of the Super Bowl if Manning did that.  Honestly, of course he wouldn't.  These players have completely different reputations, but I don't necessarily believe it's because of race.   I don't think Russell Wilson would get as much heat as Cam either.

- Do you think Peyton would take more heat for getting HGH shipped to "his wife" if he looked more like Cam? 

K.A. - This is a great question.  Why has the media refused to tackle these questions with Manning? But is it race related? They wanted to vilify Tom Brady over inflated footballs, and he's white.  I think Peyton is just loved by a lot of people and they don't want this to be true.     I do think it's a much bigger story with a big black QB like Newton, and that's unfortunate. But I don't think the press cares what color Cam Newton is. I think it's overblown. Though, stealing that laptop at Florida probably didn't help. the situation. 

Big $: I don't think race plays as big a role in steroid scandals as occupation does. America's arbitrary moral barometer has concluded that steroid use in baseball is a national tragedy, while football players can 'roid up without the slightest move of the needle.

- Manning has taken the Broncos to the Super Bowl 2 of the last 3 years at the very, very end of his career. How impressive is that? What do people want from this guy?

K.A. - Everyone always wants to compare Manning with Brady, and it's not a fair comparison.  Brady may be the best QB to ever play this game.  If you compare Manning to every other QB, what he's done is very impressive.  Sure he's had a lot of "one & done" playoff appearances, but he's also playing in his fourth Super Bowl.  Andy a Dalton is taking notes.

 - Would you ever spend your own money to attend a Super Bowl?

K.A. - Funny you ask.  In our house we have an agreement.  If the Bengals get back to the Super Bowl, I'm going.  I think my wife made a pretty safe bet there.

Big $ - As a Browns fan you might as well ask, "Would you use your own money to build a rocketship and live on the sun?" I can't wrap my brain around thoughts that big. 

- Final predictions and side bets? I bet a six pack that if Ted Ginn Jr. scores a TD, the Panthers win the game.

Big $ -If I learned anything as a Buckeye fan, a Teddy G. T.D. does not always translate to championships (F'n Roy Hall). However, I still predict a 27-14 Panthers win and I'll go out on a limb and predict Kuechly takes home MVP.

K.A. - Carolina 30, Denver 23. The MVP will likely be Newton, but I'm going with Greg Olsen just to be different.    If Denver wins the game I think the dark horse MVP is C.J Anderson. I'll bet a six-pack they don't mention Manning and HGH at all after kickoff.

Revisiting the Super Bowl III (Jets vs Colts) Pre-Game Show with Brian Phillips

The Super Bowl. With this Sunday's Panthers/Broncos tilt we'll have had 50 of them. CBS has the call this year, which means several hours of that dopey Phil Simms on Sunday night. The network is producing seven and a half hours of pre-game coverage this year! Let that sink in. 

It didn't used to be that way, you know. Recently I was down another of my You Tube rabbit holes when I discovered some real gold. Beginning with Super Bowl III (Jets upset Colts) I've found the actual network television feeds for some early Super Bowl Telecasts. Let's explore the run-up to kick-off on the oldest one I found.

Super Bowl III

Sunday January 12, 1969

Orange Bowl/Miami, Florida

Jets 16 Colts 7

 

This is one of the biggest upsets in professional sports history.....in any sport. The Jets, led by the flamboyant Joe Namath, were colossal 17 point underdogs to the Colts.

The pre-game show was hosted by play-by-play man Curt Gowdy and ran all of half an hour. Whoever saved the three hour and 46 minute telecast was kind enough to leave the commercials in. A total ban on cigarette ads on television was still two years away and first up at the 1:30 mark is one for Camel!

Break 1 Sponsors:

Camel Cigarettes

Rapid Shave Shaving Cream

 

By 2:44 NBC is showing highlights of the two league championship games. Both fields are in rough shape right! As it should be. Cripes, Namath threw 49 times against the Raiders that day.

Color man Al DeRogatis joins Gowdy at 5:15. At 6:40 Kyle Rote Senior and Pat Summeral take turns sitting with players at practice earlier that week. The late Bubba Smith, who would later have a pretty nice career in the movies and TV, pops up as a young, soft spoken 23 year old scouting Joe Namath at the 9:00 minute mark. 

11:35 DeRogatis uses the word "extemporize" properly. You aren't gonna get that from Phil Simms. People were probably smarter back then. 

It wasn't until the 12:00 minute mark that the network ducks out for only the second commercial break, if you can believe it.

Break 2 Sponsors:

Bic Pens (seriously... a pen commercial in the Super Bowl... This is amazing to me. You might as well advertise coat hangers or moth balls.)

 

Back at 13:00. More interviews. This is boring as hell. I'd have been outside smoking a Camel. 

At 17:30 several players drone about how the two teams, though they've never played, had many connections. They're all standing on the beach reading from a script. No one said "We went out every night this week getting hammered and chasing girls." But you know they did. 

Break time at 20:04.

Break 3 Sponsor:

United Airlines. The focus of the spot is a woman on a business trip. Actually pretty progressive for 1969. 

 

At 21:00 Gowdy has some words and video about by far the most interesting player in this game, Namath. Stuff on other Jets too, including Emerson Boozer. That's a name. To commercial at 23:40.

Break 4 Sponsors:

Rapid Shave (Does Rapid Shave even exist any more?)

Camel

Not one beer commercial yet! Amazing.

 

Back at 24:40 with Gowdy breaking down some Colts players. No bump music, no music under Gowdy. 26:55... Bubba Smith was 6'7" 295. A game-wrecker he was. Huge for 1969. 

End of pre-game at 28:00. They're slowly pulling a weird float into the middle of the field. The people pulling it appear to be dressed as potatoes. Probably Up With People. 

 

Break 5:

Promo For Wild Kingdom! Still photo with v/o. 

 

28:49. Gowdy is heard yelling "hot coffee!" That didn't go over the air though. This feed is the network's minus local inserts. 

Back at 30:00 with some wicked sports flute music as Gowdy starts the game telecast with the sponsor v/o. They are:

Chrysler

Pall Mall Cigarettes (big tip Pall Mall Golds!)

Schlitz Beer ("When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of beer." That's a depressing slogan.)

Gillette Razors (Techmatic Razor. They've been fucking with us with these razors forever.)

TWA ("The all jet airline." Guess that was a big deal back then.)

At 32:20 Gowdy makes mention of the famous Namath guarantee. Everyone thought he was crazy. This game made Joe a household name. He was the pioneer of dropping the ridiculous pre-game gauntlet... but he backed it up.

33:05 Shit. A mass marching band is going to goose step toward that weird Up With People float playing something called "Mr. Touchdown U.S.A." 

33:57 Acid trip time. Those aren't potatoes. They're people in giant football suits, and each represents a team in the AFL or NFL. I wonder if Hunter S. Thompson was at this game with his attorney. If they were I hope they didn't see this part. It would all be too much. So yeah, it's a bunch of footballs with legs holding on to streamers attached to what looks like a wedding cake. At the top is a bunch of smoke pouring out with a guy dressed as a Colt and another as a Jet. Who knows, they could be actual players. Maybe they got paid extra to stand on top of a float.

35:23 Three Apollo 8 astronauts walk on the field. Wow, they're making everyone recite the Pledge of Allegiance before the playing of the National Anthem. The astronauts will lead the pledge on microphone. This pre-game had to be produced by a third grade teacher.

36:22 Even though there's a 500-piece marching band on the field, the anthem is a trumpet solo. Meanwhile the potato football people are still just standing there. 

38:20 Kick Off Next

Break 6 Sponsors:

Pall Mall (touting U.S. Government figures proving that Pall Mall Gold 100's are lower in tar. The voice over guy has a cool smoker voice. Also the Gold 100 is longer. Why did they call them "Pell Mell" when it's spelled Pall Mall? It's pretty metal that you could sell a product back in the day by touting the fact that, while it had some tar in it, not as much as the other brand. Never mind that it still had fucking TAR in it.)

Schlitz ("It's the golden age of Schlitz" and who am I to argue?)

Back at 39:20. That float is never going to get off the field. They're just going to cram it into a corner, I guess.

Kick-off is just ahead and I invite you to take it from there. If you notice anything interesting leave a comment with the run time!

Oh, and my Super Bowl Pick... Panthers 27 Broncos 10. I guarantee it.

A Buggy Eyes and a Big Butt Report: Movies #1-17

I am attempting to watch 366 movies this leap year. The behind-the-scenes particulars are in the Q&A introduction. The documentation of my progress begins below. You will see my top three suggestions of this particular batch at the bottom.
- rob.

Ratings key:
★★★★★ = I can’t see giving anything that I’ve seen once five stars
★★★★ = get to the theater / move it up in your queue
★★★ = “three stars is a recommendation” - The Empire [magazine] Podcast
★★ = if the remote is too far away, you could do worse
★ = if the remote is too far away, get someone to move it closer then throw it at the TV

001
The Death of “Superman Lives”: What Happened? (2015) ★★★    
stars: Tim Burton, John Peters, Kevin Smith
writer/director: Jon Schnepp

Tim Burton directs Nicolas Cage as Superman. It almost happened. It could have been great. Insane, but great. Maybe. The doc is strengthened by Burton’s involvement. If only Cage said yes, too. His costume test footage is a nice consolation.

double feature pairing: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films

002
The Hateful Eight (2015) ★★★★
stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh
writer/director: Quinten Tarantino

A blizzard interferes with a bounty hunter’s transport of his prisoner, forcing them to take shelter in a surprisingly overcrowded way station.

I love movies that take place in one location, largely or in total. Despite some questionable story elements, I still enjoyed it a lot. It is worth seeing a second time to watch the characters react in ways unnoticeable before.

double feature pairing: Wind Chill

003
The Winding Stream (2014) ★★★
stars: Johnny Cash, Rosanne Cash
director: Beth Harrington    

The story of The Carter Family.

Turns out what I thought was The Carter Family was actually The Carter Sisters. Ol‘ A.P. Carter swiped hisself a whole bucket full o‘ songs from dem dar hills. I’m guessing he never went back to pass out royalties. A good documentary. (Never mind the animation of the old photos that turned the Carter’s into the Chuck E. Cheese house band.) I only wish the commentary track of the two old men behind me could be heard by all. I pictured them sitting on a porch, sharing whatever came to their minds...

“Would you look at those clodhoppers he’s got on.”
“I’ve been to that grave.”
“Johnny Cash [gave that interview] before he died.”

double feature pairing: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

004
The Revenant (2015) ★★★
stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleason
director: Alejandro González Iñárritu

Bear attacks dude. Other dude kills dude’s kid. Dude left for dead. Dude crawls back for Revenge!

That’s fucking it. Very little else happens in in two hours and forty minutes. It looks amazing and should be seen in the theater. But, man, what a grind to sit through. Tom Hardy is great as Other Dude. He's doing more than crawling on the snow and grimacing.

double feature pairing: The Edge

005
Capricorn One (1978) ★★★★    
stars: Elliott Gould, James Brolin, Hal Holbrook
writer/director: Peter Hyams     

So your mission to Mars isn’t feasible, and your funding is in jeopardy. What do you do? If you’re NASA, you fake it and hope everyone plays along.

1970‘s conspiracy in full effect. Holds up pretty well after nearly 40 years. Some great car chase POV shots and a dogfight finale that’s a sight for tired CGEyes.     

double feature pairing: Wag the Dog

006
13 Sins (2014) ★★
stars: Mark Webber, Ron Perlman, Pruitt Taylor Vince
director: Daniel Stamm

Elliot receives a phone call telling him if he completes 13 tasks, he will receive six million dollars. If the tasks didn’t escalate, then we wouldn’t have a story. Horrible things are in store for Elliot.

This movie’s fault lies with it expanding the game into a larger conspiracy. It’s better to keep the circle small. That’s what Cheap Thrills did right, in addition to being funnier and better.

watch Cheap Thrills instead

007
Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008) ★★★
writer/director: Kurt Kuenne

Judging by the interviews Kuenne collected of friends and family members about his friend Andrew, we all should have instinctively felt the moment he died. He was murdered by his girlfriend, pregnant with his child. Then it got worse.

double feature pairing: something to remind yourself there is still good in the world

008
The Americanization of Emily (1964) ★★★
stars: James Garner, Julia Andrews, Melvyn Douglas.
director: Arthur Hiller
writer: Paddy Chayefsky (screenplay, based on William Bradford Huie’s novel)

Lt. Cmdr. Charles Edward Madison is a coward. He says so himself. It’s why he got a job as a gofer to Adm. Jessup to get through WWII. It's because of this position that he meets Emily and the focus of Jessup‘s desire for battlefield glory.

Garner and Andrews are charming in this military satire that fights the idea that dying in battle is a glorious death.

double feature pairing: Birdy

009
Monte Walsh (1970) ★★★★
stars: Lee Marvin, Leanne Moreau, Jack Palance.
director: William A. Fraker

The Old West is disappearing. Time for cowboys to decide how to live the rest of their lives.

An interesting examination of a changing landscape and some people's inability to change with it. Lee Marvin is great in this. Didn’t know he was anything more than action-tough.

double feature pairing: Unforgiven

010
Child’s Play (1972) ★★★.5
stars: James Mason, Robert Preston, Beau Bridges
director: Sidney Lumet

A former student returns to his alma mater as a teacher to find his former instructors still at each other’s throats and the student body in a violent state.

To me, Sidney Lumet means solid acting and meaty characters. This one doesn’t change that.

double feature pairing: Heaven Help Us

011
The Station Agent (2003) ★★★★
stars: Peter Dinklage, Patricia Clarkson, Bobby Cannavale
writer/director: Tom McCarthy

A friendship is formed among three people living in isolation, two by choice, the other by circumstance. Can’t pepper the story up more than that. Sometimes a sweet story told calmly is just that simple.

double feature pairing: Trees Lounge

012
Mean Streets (1973) ★★
stars: Harvey Keitel, Robert De Niro
director: Martin Scorsese

Charlie is in line for more responsibility within the “organization.” Johnny Boy, his cousin and best friend, is the anchor that could keep him from rising through the ranks. 

I’m guessing in ’73 this was a movie that demanded you remember Martin Scorsese’s name. Had I seen it then I probably would feel differently about it. Now, it’s like watching a first draft of a great filmmaker.

watch Goodfellas instead

013
Spotlight (2015) ★★★.5
stars: Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Mark Ruffalo
director: Tom McCarthy     

“I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those meddling reporters!”
- many Catholic priests.

To witness the acting chops of a great cast is the reason to watch this horrific example of institutionalized religion run amok.

double feature pairing: Shattered Glass

014
Ride Along 2 (2016) ★★
stars: Kevin Hart, Ice Cube, Oliva Munn
director: Tim Story

guh, the movies I see for friends. It’s like the first one but in Miami, and Olivia Munn is in it. I liked the first one OK. There was nothing funny in this one, except for a line reading or two. Well, the gag with the bulletproof vest was funny when I saw it in the trailer. The way the audience howled at it they must not have seen the trailer. Hard to believe. The other big laugh from the crowd was the ceiling fan gag. Again, in the trailer.

watch Another 48 Hrs. instead

015
Lawrence of Arabia (1962) ★★★★
stars: Peter O’Toole, Alec Guinness, Anthony Quinn
director: David Lean

Yes, I’d never seen the story of T. E. Lawrence banding together the Arabic tribes to fight the Turks during WWI. Since I didn’t watch it in the theater, some say I still haven’t. Still, I could appreciate it’s beauty. The mirage at the watering hole is mesmerizing. The attack on Aqaba is breathtaking. We watch from a hill as horses and camels race into the city, filling the streets and pouring onto the shore. If made today, it would have been a computer composition, filling me with nothing more than “that looks OK, I guess.” The Gateway Film Center will be showing this in 70MM later this year. Maybe I will see it after all.

double feature pairing: Sahara Hare

016
Urban Cowboy (1980) ★
stars: John Travolta, Debra Winger, Scott Glenn
director: James Bridges

Bud moves from the ranch to the big city. He quickly marries Sissy, who he met at the biggest shit-kickin’ bar you’ve ever seen. She has an opinion and wants to ride the mechanical bull too, so he fucks off with another woman, and she shacks up with an ex-con cowboy.

You know Bud is the good guy because when he smacks his woman he doesn’t leave a mark. Bud eventually misses his wife and says his jealous days are over, so he enters the mechanical rodeo to win her back. A movie of its time, for sure.

“Looking for Love” came from this movie's soundtrack. I’ve only known the Buckwheat version, “Wookin‘ Pa Nub.”

watch The Cowboy Way instead

017 -- Sisters (2015) ★★★
stars: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler
director: Jason Moore

Maura and Kate’s parents are selling their childhood home. There’s a house party. 

Funny things happen. Formulaic things happen, too, but it’s funny so who cares. People walked out during the end credit gag reel. Who does that?! People who spit on comedy tradition, that’s who!

double feature pairing: House Party

Counters:
17/366 movies
1/52 movies directed by women

THE TOP THREE

Monte Walsh

Monte Walsh

CO2.jpg

Pencilstorm's Most Popular Stories - January 2016

An Open Letter to Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones From The NCP

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Dear Jerry Jones,

My name is Big $, from the North Coast Posse. I know we have never met, but I'm sure you are familar with my moniker, as I assume it's how most of your family refers to you at barbecues, reunions etc. I am writing you to personally refer a current member of the Cleveland Browns, as I believe he would be a wonderful addition to your franchise. So without further adieu, here's why the Dallas Cowboys should do all it can to acquire "Johnny Football."

1.) He's just so Gosh Dang exciting! He runs around all over the field without concern to game plan. The crowd loves it! As a matter of fact, he's so concerned with keeping the crowd happy, that even when he's on the sideline he will practice martial arts on an iPad to keep them engaged. If that's not enough, he'll keep the locker room in stitches with his wild lip-synching skills

I hope you like this video

2.) You have to account for the "gets us" factor. Johnny is so Texas, he pisses Lone Star. (This has been medically verified.) He's practically a miniature version of Patrick Duffy's character from Dallas. From Day One your fans will be so attached that they will be throwing money in your direction. I mean your current QB hero is from Wisconsin, it's a no-brainer.

3.) Local commerce. I'm sure if you interview local bar/restaurant owners, they'd all share that it's hard to hit sales goals on Monday afternoons. Have no fear, Johnny and Bae will lead a Monday Funday revolution, saving many a saloon. The Ft. Worth chamber of commerce will laud you a hero for bringing the golden goose to town.

4.) Last but certainly not least, I'm not sure if you are aware or not, but after failing miserably at guiding a two-minute drill against the Chiefs, HE THREW HIS HELMET IN ANGER!!!!. Can you imagine the internal fire necessary to cost your team the game but still be able to TO THROW YOUR HELMET IN ANGER!!! Mr. Jones, In case you missed it I reiterate, HE THREW HIS HELMET IN ANGER!!!!

In conclusion. I'm fairly certain your keen business sense has led you to believe that you should ship your next 3 number one picks to the Browns in exchange for Johnny. However, I'm pretty sure you could contact Sashi, or Hue, or Paul, or Andrew or even Jimmy H and fleece them for a couple of 2's. So. Mr. Jones, the ball is in your court, and I'm  sure youll do whatever is necessary to acquire Johnny Football for "America's team."

Thanks
Big $
The North Coast Posse