Summer In The City reprint series, part one: A Somewhat Organized List of 1980's Comedies - by David Martin

Like most of Continental Europe - which does not have the benefit of central air conditioning -  the Pencilstorm offices largely close down during the dog days of August.  It was especially bad this year, since Ricki C. took home the Koolerator box fan he brought in from a West Side yard sale and Colin "borrowed" the Kenmore window A/C unit he scored at a St. Agatha's swap meet "temporarily" for his second bedroom and never brought it back. 

As such, for the next week or ten days, Pencilstorm will be running a reprint series of our favorite blogs from our regular writers and some of the ringers we've solicited pieces from over the past three years.  This is part one:  

A Somewhat Organized List of 1980's Comedies - by David Martin  

New York magazine did an interview with Steven Soderbergh that's worth reading. Among other things, the director talks about avoiding disaster film clichés ("Can’t show the president. No helicopter shots"), the gentle spirit of the Ocean's franchise, and the darkness of Saturday Night Fever.

Soderbergh's a good dude, and he makes good movies. But he said one thing I disagree with: He called the 1980s a "terrible decade" for American films.

Hmmm... Raging BullBlade RunnerE.T.The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Vietnam movies, Aliens and Amadeus—those are some pretty good mainstream movies. Die Hard is arguably the best action movie ever. If you can look past the shoe-sized cell phones and dated eyewear, Wall Street holds up really well.

Comedies, it seems, were especially strong. Now, I was teenager for most of the '80s, and I'm sure that colors my thinking. But if nothing else, comedies of the '80s were more varied than they are today, when everything is basically a variation of Old School (and, to a lesser extent, Office Space). Here's a list of movies I found entertaining and maybe you did, too.

This Is Spinal Tap
One of the amazing things about Spinal Tap was the fact that hard rock had not yet reached the apex of its stupidity. “Big Bottom” preceded “Cherry Pie” by six years. 

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
Hollywood Shuffle
ketchy.

Raising Arizona
My first and favorite Coen Bros. movie. 

48 Hrs.
Trading Places
Beverly Hills Cop
Raw
Coming to America
I think Cop was the first R-rated movie I saw in theaters. Eddie Murphy was huge.

Fletch
I met sportswriter Rick Reilly early in my writing career, and he was kind to me. But it was once said of him that he gives off the impression that he wishes he was the guy who wrote Fletch. It was not meant as a compliment. Still, good movie.

A Fish Called Wanda

Modern Romance
Lost in America
Both movies feature really funny scenes of Albert Brooks interacting with an older man (the sound engineer, the casino boss) who finds him annoying. 

Brazil

Airplane!
I realized after reading this essay that I’m not a big fan of joke-driven movies. I don’t think I ever paid to see a Naked Gun movie. I’ve never seen Space Balls or Top Secret! But Airplane!? Real recognize real.

The Princess Bride
When Harry Met Sally…
Rob Reiner is the Don Mattingly of directors—a guy with a great peak who couldn't sustain it over the course of a long career.

After Hours
Something Wild

Caddyshack
Stripes
Tootsie
Ghostbusters
Scrooged
Ghostbusters II
Yeah, yeah, Tootsie is Dustin Hoffman’s movie. But it looks cool in this list of Bill Murray efforts. The ’90s got off to kind of a rough start for Bill (Quick Change). But by decade’s end he had appeared in several memorable roles: Groundhog Day, Ed Wood, Kingpin and, of course, Rushmore.

Bull Durham
Major League
In addition to these two successful comedies, The Natural, Eight Men Out and Field of Dreams also came out in the ’80s. Bull Durham loses steam toward the end but is still probably the best sports movie ever. 

Splash
Bachelor Party
Big

Midnight Run
In this tribute to Run, TV critic Alan Sepinwall notes that it came out within five days of Die Hard. “If those two aren’t the best example of their respective sub-genres, they’re at least in the discussion.” (Sepinwall endorsed Hitless Wonder, by the way.)

Mr. Mom
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Sixteen Candles
The Breakfast Club
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
I think these are John Hughes’s five best movies. (He wrote but did not direct Mr. Mom and Vacation.) Your list might look different, because he made a lot of good movies. Vanity Fair contributor David Kamp wrote a piece about Hughes after his death that's really sharp. My first real girlfriend and I went to see Ferris Bueller on our first date, I think. 

Night Shift
Beetlejuice
You can see a rough outline of the Beetlejuice character in this obnoxious version of himself that Michael Keaton played in a short film for a prime-time Letterman special.

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

The Blues Brothers

 

Roger and MeA documentary, yes, but still funny.

 

Broadcast News

She’s Gotta Have It
Do the Right Thing
Do the Right Thing, Broadcast News and other movies on this list would fall in the "dramedy" category.

Moonstruck

Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Say Anything
Heathers
Summer School
Clueless (1995) is an honorary ’80s movie.

Diner
Tin Men
ain Man

James Wolcott’s memoir conveys how fresh and exciting Diner and Blue Velvet were when they were released. I’m with Wolcott in that I felt more “pummeled” than intoxicated by Velvet, but I appreciate its originality. 

Hannah and Her Sisters
Crimes and Misdemeanors
“If it bends, it’s funny…”

Three Amigos
Roxanne
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Parenthood
I saw Parenthood with Mike "Biggie" McDermott and others. Toward the end of the movie, when everything’s wrapping up in that Lowell Ganz-Babaloo Mandel way, Biggie whispered, “Gil likes the roller coaster, too.”

Used Cars
Overboard
Used Cars is essentially an R-rated Bad News Bears. Kurt Russell was a good Elvis, too. 

Back to the Future
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Assembling this list, I see that things started to break down a little bit toward the end of the decade. Big and Parenthood are fine in their own right, but they portended the navel-gazing that I associate with comedies of the early and mid ’90sCity Slickers being the archetype. One problem, I think, is that baby boomers were becoming a little too grown-up to work effectively in the genre. Harold Ramis, for instance, was pretty much done after Groundhog Day (1993).

 

David Martin left the newspaper business before it had a chance to tell him his place in the industry was no longer available. Follow him on Twitter: @david2martin.

 

MLB Trade Deadline Thoughts - by Brian Phillips

Baseball's non-waiver trade deadline was a mad dash to the finish Monday at 4 eastern. Here are a few thoughts.

Cleveland Indians

No question the Tribe made themselves better. Their deal for closer Andrew Miller can pay off big time in October. Predecessor Cody Allen is decent, but he isn't Miller. When you combine the jolt the pen just received with baseball's best overall rotation you have a championship contender. 

It was a bummer the Indians didn't get Jonathan Lucroy, but they did improve their depth with Rays outfielder Brandon Guyer. Guyer is a lefty killer who also displays a unique talent for getting hit by pitches. He's leading baseball in taking one for the team despite less than full-time at bats. He paced the AL in that category last season as well. Guyer is a middling defender, but his production against southpaws fills a void, no question.

Cincinnati Reds

After many fits and starts, Jay Bruce has finally been traded. Coming back from the New York Mets is infielder Dilson Herrera and lefty Max Wotell. (Has the Reds organization found a Moneyball-like market inefficency in left handed pitching?) Herrera is having a nice year in Triple A, hitting .276 with 13 home runs and 61 RBI. Yes, his walk rate is down, but so is his strike out rate. Scouts say his defense isn't good enough to play short, and he's likely viewed by Reds' brass as a replacement for the aging Brandon Phillips at second. Despite some brief stints in the big leagues in 2014 and 15, Herrera is still just 22.

Wotell is 19 and a 3rd round selection of the Mets in 2015. In his second season of rookie ball Wotell has displayed a nice strikeout rate, but is also wild as hell. You really can't say much about a 19 year old. 

New York Mets

The Mets are hoping they can replicate last season's surge when they added Yoenis Cespedes at the deadline and he went wild, pushing them all the way to the NL Pennent. Bruce is having a great bounce-back year, but this isn't a perfect fit. With sniper glove man Juan Lagares on the DL, they have to mix & match Curtis Granderson and Michael Conforto in center with Bruce and Cespedes on the corners. Manager Terry Collins has been known to stick Cespedes in center as well, but that's because Collins is a lovable old dummy. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the Mets outfield defense sucks right now. 

Texas Rangers

There's a rush to go ahead and ticket the Rangers for the World Series, but let's slow our roll here just a hair. Yes, Jonathan Lucroy and Carlos Beltran give the Rangers' already clicking offense a nice boost, but the Rangers failed to address their rotation at all. (Getting 31 year old Lucas Harrell from the Braves last week does not count.) Cole Hamels is a fine pitcher and so is Yu Darvish. What sort of work load can Darvish handle coming off Tommy John though? A.J. Griffin has been decent, but just off the DL himself. Martin Perez stinks. Does this assemblage beat the Tribe in the ALCS? No way.

Out in the pen they added Brewers closer Jeremy Jeffress. He won't close with Texas, at least not initially. He's had a decent year, but his strike out rate is pretty lame for a 9th inning guy.

Toronto Blue Jays

The Blue Jays are going to send Aaron Sanchez to the bullpen soon to save his arm and with that they've sent their hopes for a deep playoff run away with him. Sanchez is the real deal. Francisco Liriano (Pirates), Mike Bolsinger (Dodgers) and Scott Feldman (Astros) are not. 

As an aside, the Blue Jays gave up on Drew Hutchison yesterday, shipping him off to Pittsburgh in the Lirano deal. Yes he is frustrating, but he's still only 25 and has displayed great strike out stuff in the past. Pirates pitcher whisperer Ray Searage can't wait to get his hands on him, I guarantee you that. 

Los Angeles Dodgers

L.A. finally had enough of of Yasiel Puig's tired act and lack of production and acquired outfielder Josh Reddick and pitcher Rich Hill from trader Billy Beane and the A's. Reddick has some wallop from the left side, but what the Dodgers are hoping for most is a return to defensive form. Speaking of hope, if L.A. can somehow squeeze two months of starts and the post season out of oft-injured Rich Hill they'll be ecstatic. Hill is currently fighting a blister. Without Clayton Kershaw for an unknown period though the Dodgers will kneel and pray for Hill. 

San Francisco Giants

People are ripping the Matt Moore deal, but I still think Moore can be a really good major league pitcher. At 27 he's still youngish and pitching in that chilly and mammoth park out on the Bay can't hurt. Still, Matt Duffy and minor leagers were a lot to give to the Rays. 

Baltimore Orioles

I'm not sure what they're thinking bringing in Wade Miley from Seattle. Miley has shown flashes including this past Saturday in Chicago, but he's gotten pulverized this year too giving up an alarming 1.45 home runs per nine. Some of that is bad luck, but some of that is a 7% jump in hard hit rate. That won't play in Camden Yards at all. Still he's better than Ubaldo Jimenez I suppose. I'm better than Ubaldo Jimenez. 

New York Yankees

I won't pretend to be close to an expert on prospects, but I do know it was time. Time for the Yankees to bite the bullet and commit themselves to a real, lasting, youth movement. Hey they see the Red Sox all the time with Betts, Bradley Junior, etc contributing at their tender ages. The Cubs no doubt have made an impact on their thinking as well. You can't win by going shopping every January any more, not with every other club locking up their top young talent through their most productive years. The Yanks are living with that dumb A. Rod contract every day. Buying a team is over. Developing and keeping your own talent is the way. Stocking up by trading relief pitchers is brilliant. Smartest thing I've seen the Yankees do in a long time. You can find kids that throw 100 miles per hour and besides you kept Dillon Betances who is a straight- up witch. 

Seattle Mariners

Sigh. Another year sliding into the abyss. Oh well, almost Seahawks time!

Brian Phillips the morning drive time DJ for CD102.5 FM in Columbus, OH. He plays in three fantasy baseball leagues. 

 

Behind The Scenes: Colin's Music Video - by Wal Ozello

I met Colin when I was in film school in the early '90's. Even back then I wanted to film a music video for him, as I was always impressed with the way he told a story through his lyrics. 

So when our paths crossed again decades later, I knew I'd have a chance.  The right song never came around until Colin pressed his latest CD, The Best of Colin Gawel: Superior. He shared with me an early mix of track four, called "Dad Can't Help You Now" and I said, "That one's mine." It's a good thing I claimed it early because others jumped at the chance as well, but Colin set it aside for me and I'm grateful he did.

For the past couple Sundays, we've been busy shooting footage for it.  A friend of mine and local filmmaker, Alex Williams, offered to be the Director of Photography and another local filmmaker, Maria Clark of Brainstorm Media, offered to be the Producer. Filmmaker Tim Baldwin plays the role of Dad and I cast my son, Sam, as the Son.  Colin got two Upper Arlington baseball teams to help out, the Rough Riders and UA Bears, and parents from the teams came out to support. We also got some extra production help from Claire George, Jonathan Rolston, Lucas Lewinter, Sarah Martin, and Ryan Newell. 

The film is now in the editor's hands, Eric Ringquist, and we're all impatiently waiting the results of his magic. I should see a rough cut in a couple of weeks. But in the meantime, I'd like to share some behind the scenes pictures.  Enjoy!

Colin in the studio

TIme for Colin's Close-Up

Guitar Close-Up

Last game of the season

Colin's son at bat.

Sam getting ready for the big pitch.

Sam getting ready for the big pitch.

Crowd cheering on the team

Bench is cheering on the team

Wal Ozello is a local filmmaker and the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's the author of the science fiction time travel books Assignment 1989, Revolution 1990 and Sacrifice 2086 and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Somebody Get Nate Silver On the Line, I'm Calling the Presidential Election - by Colin Gawel

Ok, before everybody goes bat-shit crazy, this isn't a political post. This is what's called a "horse race" post. I'm not telling anybody how to vote. I'm not arguing for or against any candidate or specific policy. I encourage everybody to get out and vote your conscious this fall. We aren't all supposed to vote the same way, anymore than we would all root for the same football team. It's how democracy works and it's way more fun than having a King boss us around. Best of luck to everybody. I wish everybody could be a winner.

However, since everybody can't win, I'm going to stick my neck out a little earlier than usual and make my "way too early prediction" for the 2016 Presidential race.

My polling methods are slightly less scientific than the brilliant Nate Silver and his website 538. (If you are into the "Horse Race" side of politics, his is the best site. Click here to check it out) Basically, I own a small coffee shop in Upper Arlington, Ohio and I listen to people. Lots of people. You may have heard of Ohio. We are the home of the World Champion Cavs and the Ohio State Football team. We are also a must win state if you want to become President of the United States of America. 

For the past two weeks, the RNC and DNC have held their conventions. People have watched & listened and I have listened to people's reactions as they have come through the coffee shop. I've identified the 4 or 5 swing voters that will tell me who is going to win. Reasonable people who could have voted either way. I nailed the last two elections with this method and I'm going for three in a row. I realize it's early and lots can change in the months ahead, but no guts, no glory.

Do I know what I am talking about? Time will tell. So on November 9th, remember you heard it here first. When that day comes you can stand slack-jawed in awe of my predictive powers or mock me at your leisure. I can't hide, I'm going on the record.

The drum roll please.........................

Trump loses Ohio. Hillary Clinton is the next President of the United States. 

Written in stone. Election over. Done deal. Permission to gamble granted. 

Colin Gawel is just some guy who owns a small coffee shop and writes for Pencilstorm. He also plays in the band Watershed. It's probably not wise to bet money on his advice.

Buggy Eyes and a Big Butt, part twelve: Movies 174-187

Pencilstorm contributor Rob Braithwaite is watching 366 movies this year, so you don't have to, here is part twelve of his continuing 2016 rundown......

Q&A Intro, 1-17, 18-36, 37-51, 52-66, 67-74, 75-87, 88-103, 104-120, 121-131, 132-152, 153-173, 174-187, 188-221, 222-255, 256-287, 288-314, 315-341, 342-366, Index

Ratings key:
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ = I can’t see giving anything that I’ve seen once five stars
★ ★ ★ ★ = get to the theater / move it up in your queue
★ ★ ★ = “three stars is a recommendation” - The Empire [magazine] Podcast
★ ★ = if the remote is too far away, you could do worse
★ = if the remote is too far away, get someone to move it closer then throw it at the TV

174
Body Double (1984) ★.5
stars: Craig Wasson, Melanie Griffith, Gregg Henry
co-writer/director: Brian De Palma

A struggling actor housesits for a new acquaintance and witnesses a murder across the way.

Yep, this is the De Palma I don’t like. Indulgent and boring.

watch Slam Dance instead

175
Village of the Damned (1995) ★ ★ ★
stars: Christopher Reeve, Kirstie Alley, Linda “Mrs. Crocodile Dundee” Kozlowski
director: John Carpenter

I think this maligned remake of a small town’s mysterious children problem plays better if you imagine it were made in the ‘50s. John Carpenter wasn’t looking to update the storytelling or acting style. He wanted, I’m guessing, to make a horror movie like those of his youth. If you go in with that mindset, you’ll be entertained. Christopher Reeve is good in it. Or you can watch the 1960 original. They are basically the same.

This John Carpenter? What other movies did he make?

Spank Bank's John Carpenter
Spank Bank

double feature pairing: Tremors

176
When a Stranger Calls (1979) ★ ★ ★ 
stars: Carol Kane, Charles Durning, Tony Beckley
co-writer/director: Fred Walton

It’s the “the call is coming from inside the house” movie.

And that line comes waaaaaay sooner than I thought it was going to. After the first twenty minutes! Where is this movie going to go from here? Well, it becomes a manhunt and character drama, then it becomes its own sequel. Fascinating.

double feature pairing: Scream

177
When a Stranger Calls (2006) ★ ★ 
stars: Camilla Belle, Tommy Flanagan, the voice of Lance Henriksen
director: Simon West

Now this is what I expected the original to be like. The whole movie takes place over one evening. The first twenty minutes of the original were stretched out to ninety. It’s a good remake, despite ignoring how caller ID works. But, like most creep-around movies, I was done with it two-thirds in.

Product placement has changed over the years. In the original, Babysitter gets a Dilly Bar® from the freezer. I know this because I recognize the wrapper. It isn’t presented in any obvious way, so it hardly counts as placement, really. I guess it speaks more to how many Dilly Bars® I ate as a kid. In the remake, Babysitter gets a Dole Fruit Bar®. from the freezer. I know this because of the delayed shot of the second box of Dole Fruit Bars®.

watch the first twenty minutes of the 1979 version

178
Daddy’s Home (2015) ★.5
stars: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Linda Cardellini
director: Sean Anders

I know I watched this. Can’t remember a damned thing about it that wasn’t in the trailer.

watch Max Duggan Returns instead

179
Girlfight (2000) ★ ★ ★ 
stars: Michelle Rodriguez, Jamie Tirelli, Santiago Douglas
writer/director: Karyn Kusama

Diana secretly trains as a boxer. Finds resistance.

Michelle Rodriguez is great. The pacing is a little too slack.

double feature pairing: Rocky

180
The House Bunny (2008) ★.5
stars: Anna Faris, Emma Stone, Kat Dennings
director: Fred Wolf

A Playboy Bunny is kicked out of the Playboy Mansion and becomes the house mom of a sorority of misfits. She learns some things from them. They learn some things from her. Anna Faris is funny. The movie isn’t.

Produced by Adam Sandler’s company. Totally feels like it.

watch Legally Blond instead

181
Swiss Army Man (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Paul Dano, Daniel Radcliffe, Mary Elizabeth Winstead
writers/directors: Dan Kwan, Daniel Scheinert

A man deserted on an island discovers a dead body on the beach. It’s this farting corpse that just might be the thing to save him.

The greatest farting movie of all time. There were moments when I was wondering what I was watching. It’s very funny. Incredibly inventive. And not without a deeper, darker meaning. It’s unique.

double feature pairing: Be Kind Rewind

182
Ghostbusters (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon
director: Paul Feig

Fuck the haters. This is funny. It’s a decent remake/remodel/re-whatever. It nods to the original while making its own thing. Some of the most unfunny parts were the forced cameos. Bill Murray’s character was necessary for the story, but he didn’t seem to care. He let his hat do the work. The bust of Harold Ramis was a sweet touch.

double feature pairing: Evil Dead (2013)

183
The Killers (1946) ★ ★ ★
stars: Burt Lancaster, Ava Gardner, Edmond O’Brien
director: Robert Siodmak

A small town mechanic is killed by two hit men. Why? That’s a question for the insurance claims agent to answer.

Yep, the insurance company’s claims agent is hot on the case. No private eye, though the role is played like one, or homicide detective, which makes much more sense, could be torn away from their whiskey and donuts, respectively.

That aside, and ignored when the movie brings it up again, this is a nice little crime picture. The opening scene in the diner must make the Coen Brothers drool. The rhythm of the dialogue is amazing.

double feature pairing: Payback

184
The Killers (1964) ★ ★ ★ 
stars: Lee Marvin, Angie Dickinson, John Cassavetes
director: Don Siegel

Now this is how you remake a movie. Fix what didn’t work before. The investigators of the case this time are the hit men themselves. One of them recognizes the mark as part of a team that stole a great deal of money, so they look into who hired them in hopes of finding the cash.

Both versions are good. I’d give an edge to the original, as it’s a bit more cinematic. This version was originally made for TV but deemed too violent so it got a theatrical release.

This was Ronald Reagan’s final movie before entering politics.

double feature pairing: Payback: Straight Up (director’s cut)

185
Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Sam Neill, Julian Dennison, Rima Te Wiata
writer/director: Taika Waititi

Problem child Ricky is taken in by the loving Bella and problem adult Hec.

Funny and charming. The trailer does a nice job of projecting the tone without ruining plot points.

double feature pairing: Thelma & Louise

186
The Lady Vanishes (1938) ★ ★ ★ ★ 
stars: Margaret Lockwood, Michael Redgrave, Paul Lukas
director: Alfred Hitchcock

An elderly lady vanishes from a train, and only one person believes she ever existed at all.

Yep. It’s great.

double feature pairing: Silver Streak

187
Star Trek Beyond (2016) ★ ★ ★
stars: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban
director: Justin Lin

You got the outer space and the people and the explosions and the humor and a city to smash things into during the finale.

I don’t think the movie is bad. The folks I saw it with confirmed that. There’s a lot of action and the story is fine. The pandering, by-the-book humor didn’t go over well. No one I was around laughed much. I was bored by it all. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood. Maybe I’ve reached that point in the summer when I tire of seeing things smash into other things. Happens every year.

double feature pairing: Big Night

Counters:
187/366 movies (23 movies off pace)
25/52 movies directed by women

THE TOP THREE

ALICE COOPER RUINED MY BIRTHDAY - by Scott Carr

OK, that may sound a little harsh but it is 100% true. On my birthday in 1989 Alice released an album that I think is the worst thing he ever put down on tape. The aptly titled Trash was released twenty seven years ago today but my disappointment in this record and Alice are still as vivid as yesterday.

It's exciting when you learn that one of your favorite bands or artists are gonna release a record on "your" day. I remember in 1980 AC/DC released their career defining Back In Black album on my birthday. While it took me awhile to get used to singer Brian Johnson as the new voice of AC/DC, there was no denying that they had made a great record.  Also in 1980 Kiss made their debut performance at The Palladium in NYC with drummer Eric Carr, who had replaced the recently departed Peter Criss. Out of all the days in the year two of my favorite bands picked my birthday for these events. I felt like the coolest kid on the block.

Fast forward nine years and I am still at an age when birthdays are still exciting and seem really important. I had heard that Alice Cooper was gonna be releasing his new album on July 25th, so I knew my birthday would include a trip to the local mall to pick up his new record. I woke up bright and early on that birthday morning and could only think of one thing, I gotta get to the mall and get the new Alice Cooper record. Everything else could wait but I had to get this record. So I headed to the mall and was waiting patiently for National Record Mart to open. Once the store open I dashed in and grabbed the new Cooper record. I might add that I was the only one waiting in line but my enthusiasm for this record was like I was racing to get the last copy.

Alice had semi-retired after the release of his 1983 album DaDa. Alice was in bad shape during that time, struggling with alcohol & drug addiction and he decided to step away for a few years and get clean. Alice resurfaced in 1986 with the album Constrictor and quickly followed it up with 1987's Raise Your Fist and Yell. Both records were supported with very successful tours. Alice was healthy again and his shows during this time are considered some of his best. Alice had something to prove and you could tell he was ready to reclaim his title "the king of shock rock." I saw Alice in 1986 on the "Nightmare Returns" tour and I still consider it one of the best concerts I've ever seen. Constrictor and Raise Your Fist and Yell were both solid records but they didn't burn up the charts. Alice's concerts were sell-outs but that had not translated to record sales.

I liked the direction had gone with Raise Your Fist and Yell, it was a little more heavy metal than Alice had ever been but it worked. I had planned on getting more of the same with Trash but that was not the case. I became a little concerned when I saw the album was produced by Desmond Child. Desmond was credited with turning Kiss into a disco band. Desmond had co-wrote "I Was Made For Loving You" on Kiss' 1979 album Dynasty. Of course Desmond would go on to work with many other artists including Aerosmith, Joan Jett and Bon Jovi. Desmond had become known for his slick production work, so I was a little nervous at what his collaboration with Alice would bring.

When I got the record home and put it on the turntable I knew instantly that this was a different Alice than the one that had made Raise Your Fist and Yell. The production was very slick and big. The opening track "Poison" was pretty good but had a more commercial sound than anything in Alice's catalog. The album is loaded with special guests including Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Jon Bon Jovi, and Steve Luckather among others. It felt like Desmond had called in a bunch of favors on this record. Desmond co-wrote almost every song on Trash and every song felt like it was trying to be a hit. The weirdest thing that struck me about Trash was the New Jersey twang that Alice had developed in his vocal delivery. I was like what the hell is wrong with Alice's voice. I was underwhelmed with the entire record and my birthday was ruined. How could Alice let me down on my birthday.......I was crushed.

The irony of all this is, Trash went on to be one of Alice's biggest records and  a worldwide success. It was his first platinum record in many years and the videos from the record were staples on MTV. So the direction Alice chose with Trash connected with a lot of people but not with this birthday boy.

All these years later I have still not warmed up to this record. I usually pull it out on my birthday to give it a spin but it still falls flat for me. Alice redeemed himself in my eyes with his next record, Hey Stoopid, a much better record all around. Alice has released some great records since Trash but none have been on my birthday. The only way I can see Alice making all things right with me is making a new album with all original surviving Alice Cooper Group members and releasing it on my birthday.

If that doesn't happen......I still have Back In Black!

I posted some videos below so you can decide for yourself.

Also for some further Alice Cooper reading you can check out my review of Muscle of Love here

Scott Carr is a guitarist who plays in the Columbus, OH  bands Radio Tramps andReturning April.  Scott is also an avid collector of vinyl records and works at Lost Weekend Records. So...if you are looking for Scott....you'll either find him in a dimly lit bar playing his guitar or in a record store digging for the holy grail.