I'm Opening for Miles Nielsen this Friday at Natalie's - by Colin Gawel

If you haven't already got tickets for the Two Cow Garage / Tommy Stinson show this Friday August 19th, I've got another suggestion for your social calendar. Yours truly will be opening the show for the fabulous Miles Nielsen and The Rusted Hearts at the equally fabulous Natalie's Coal Fired Pizza in Worthington. I'll be on at 10 pm with Miles and crew following around 10:45.

Click here to reserve a table or purchase tickets.    

Sure, Miles happens to be the son of Cheap Trick's Rick Nielsen, but he and his band the Rusted Hearts have cut out their own swath of pop-infused cosmic American music. I'm a huge fan. In fact, you may have read the story I posted a while back. (click here to read "Miles Nielsen is the opposite of Sammy Hagar's Kid")  

His latest record is Heavy Metal. You can check out the video below and click here to visit his website.  Hope you can make it out to the show. It's going to be a good one. 

Directed by Melissa Revels Edited by Robert J. Williams

4.29.16

Above: Heavy Metal teaser.  Below: Me

Official music video for Colin Gawel's "Superior". The single was released on the EP-CD "Superior" by Mike Landolt's Curry House Records label. More at www.colingawel.com. Video produced by Palestra Creative (www.palestracreative.com).

Back To School: Then vs. Now - by Andra Gillum

The first day of school is August 17th.  Seriously?  I double-checked to make sure there was no mistake.  What happened to the good old days when we started after Labor Day?  Who decided that mid-August was the new September?

I’ve gotten several explanations.  Someone suggested they want the school districts to follow the college schedule.  That makes no sense.  Who wants to be in Florida on Spring Break when the college students are there?  I have no desire to compete in a belly flop competition, or set sail on a fraternity booze cruise.

Our Superintendent said they took a survey, and the majority wanted an early start.  I know the kids and teachers don’t want this, so it must be the seniors.  They want the pool to themselves.  Can’t blame them.  They just want to do a little water aerobics in peace.…without the whistles blowing.  Plus, seniors are the only ones who took time to complete the survey.  The rest of us don’t bother to participate.  We prefer to complain about the results.

The most likely reason I’ve heard blames the early start on the standardized testing in the spring.  Schools need to pack in as much curriculum as they can before the testing period.  Common Core strikes again.

I’m glad school didn’t start this early when I was a kid.  I would have been awfully hot wearing the new Firenza sweater and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans that my mom bought me when we went school shopping.  My Member’s Only jacket would have been a little better, but still warm.  

My kids wear shorts for the first six weeks of school.  Actually, my son wears shorts for the entire year.  He’s a 7th grader now, and I gave up that battle years ago.

So many things about back to school have changed.  Now we buy school supplies through the PTO, and they’re delivered right to class.  That’s actually helpful.  No more running around searching for the box of crayons with the built in sharpener, the wide-ruled spiral notebook, or the newest Trapper Keeper.

What about textbooks?  We used to haul around an armful of them, all carefully covered with a brown grocery bag.  I could never figure out how to cut the bag right, but we managed.   Then, we added our best graffiti.  My older sister always had the Van Halen logo on her books.  I think mine had the MTV logo and probably something about Duran Duran.

Now kids get MacBooks and iPads instead of books.   Nobody is covering those in brown grocery bags.  First of all, grocery bags are plastic now.  Secondly, that paper wouldn’t provide much protection when kids drop their device on the ground.  I’m pretty sure the screen would still shatter.  The “optional” laptop insurance coverage is the new book cover. 

How about the lockers?  They still use those same old combination locks.  Is it left, right left, or right, left right?  Shouldn’t there be something digital by now?  After all, they now sell entire lines of designer locker accessories and supplies.  Who wouldn’t want a locker chandelier?  Can’t we all agree that is a little over the top, especially if dad has to stop by school to run the electricity.

Back to school has certainly changed since I was in school, but kids will always dread the start of early mornings, and especially homework!  If we want joyous faces, we’ll need to head to the local pool to watch the ladies group-walking their laps around the lazy river.

Welcome back to school to all students, teachers and staff.  Ready or not, here it comes!

 

Andra Gillum is a free-lance writer from Upper Arlington with kids heading back to school at Windermere Elementary and Hastings Middle School.  Send your comments and feedback to andra@doggydrama.com.  
 

Andra is also the author of the children’s books “Doggy Drama” and “Puppy Drama” (coming soon).  Learn more at www.doggydrama.com or at www.facebook.com/doggydrama.  

 

 

Summer In The City reprint series, part three: My Chance Meeting With Bruce Springsteen (Or Bruce's Chance Meeting With Me) - by Colin Gawel

 

Today's entry concludes our summer reprint series.  It originally ran in March 2013, the dawn of Pencilstorm.

 

Note from Colin: This the final and likely most interesting chapter of a three-part Bruce essay I wrote a little while back when Colin Gawel and The Lonely Bones were the only band asked to perform at the opening of the Bruce Springsteen exhibit at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Needless to say it was a huge honor. I knocked out this story to contribute to the program. Hope you enjoy.  Part OnePart Two.

 

Yes, I met Bruce Springsteen once, but it wasn’t how I imagined it. In fact, it was totally unexpected. The two of us had a nice conversation in his dressing room one winter night in Youngstown, Ohio.

I was there because my band, Watershed, was in the process of being dropped from Epic/Sony Music Entertainment. Something about how we didn’t sell enough product and/or our records weren’t very good anyway. Go figure. In an effort to cheer me up, Columbia/Sony reps Andy Flick and Dave Watson invited me up from Columbus to catch one of the early Ghost of Tom Joad performances. I don’t remember the name of the small theater he played, but I can recall vividly that it was snowing so hard, Andy and I barely made the gig in time.

The theater was coal-fired warm and our seats were 20th row or something. Bruce killed. Hearing the song "Youngstown" performed in Youngstown was eerie. Initially, the crowd went wild hearing their hometown’s name mentioned, but by the end of the song they were quiet.

After the gig, knowing I was a huge fan, Andy asked if I wanted to go backstage with the press. “Uh, ok, sure. Is that cool? Yeah,” I sorta mumbled. Five minutes later I am whisked down a narrow hallway and find myself standing in a small dressing room with Bruce and five or six members of the Northeast Ohio press corps. (I remember the famous music critic from the Cleveland Plain Dealer was there. Bruce greeted her warmly. Her name?  (editor's note: It was likely Jane Scott, who covered music at the PD from 1964 to 2002. She died in 2011.)

No one seemed to know how to get the thing started so I offered up: “It must be very strange to spend your entire career learning how to wind up a crowd, and now devote most of your energy to winding them down." Understand, this was his first solo tour and people just couldn’t stop screaming during quiet moments.

Bruce looked at me and said: “Wind 'em down…. Yeah that’s good, that’s right.”

We continued chatting about the show and reporters busily jotted down notes and held tape recorders out in our faces as talked. Noticing I was doing neither, Bruce asked: “Who are you exactly, anyway?” I explained about my band getting dropped, guys at the label feeling sorry and hooking me up, etc.

Someone came in and said it was time for the press to go. Bruce asked if I wanted to stick around and have a couple of beers with him. “If the label’s buying, I’m staying,” I said.

Everyone left and we sipped our beers and chatted about this and that. I recall bits and pieces of the conversation, but what I remember most is that it was comfortable and very two-way. It felt like old friends catching up.

OK, let’s address the obvious question: “Weren’t you nervous?” Strangely enough, I wasn’t nervous at all. But it’s not like I’m above getting a little jittery around people I admire -Steven Tyler, Terry Anderson, and Cincinnati Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman jump to mind.

Eventually, it was time for both of us to go. I grabbed a beer for the road and Bruce said, “Might as well grab two - get 'em while you can.” or something to that effect.

Looking back, I think our connection that night in Youngstown was real because we had something in common that trumped any of our differences in status or accomplishment.

We were just two musicians sitting in a dingy dressing room in Youngstown, Ohio, who had absolutely no idea what the future would bring either of us. One would lose his record deal and return his old job making sandwiches at Subway. The other would continue touring alone, singing songs about Mexican immigrants working in meth labs.

Both were terrified and thrilled at what the future might hold and both knew it was going to be a tough fight. Rock 'n' roll is always a tough fight.

 

Colin Gawel is a founding member of Pencilstorm. He writes songs and performs with Watershed and his solo band The Lonely Bones. You can read all about it in the acclaimed book Hitless Wonder. He owns a small coffee shop and lives in Columbus Ohio with his wife and 9-year-old son whose favorite band is Aerosmith. More Springsteen stories can be found at www.colingawel.com

Summer In The City reprint series, part two: All I've Ever Wanted To Do - by Ricki C.

Like most of Continental Europe - which does not have the benefit of central air conditioning -  the Pencilstorm offices largely close down during the dog days of August.  It was especially bad this year, since Ricki C. took home the Koolerator box fan he brought in from a West Side yard sale and Colin "borrowed" the Kenmore window A/C unit he scored at a St. Agatha's swap meet "temporarily" for his second bedroom and never brought it back. 

As such, for the next week or ten days, Pencilstorm will be running a reprint series of our favorite blogs from our regular writers and some of the ringers we've solicited pieces from over the past three years.  This is part two:  

ALL I'VE EVER WANTED TO DO - by Ricki C. (originally ran late summer 2014)  

All I've ever wanted to do - since I was 13 years old in 1965 - is to go see bands play.  (Before that, all I ever wanted to do was to be a soldier in World War II, but since I was 12 years old in 1964 and that conflict ended in 1945, that goal was largely out of my reach by that point.) 

The first time I ever saw a rock & roll band play live was when my sainted Italian mother – who, by the way, worked 35 years as a waitress and later a hostess at Scioto Country Club in Upper Arlington – called my older sister and had her bring me to the Club on a Saturday night because there was, in my mom’s words, “a rock combo playing.”  

Looking back I now realize that the band was probably a group of Upper Arlington High School kids, at least one of whom had a father who was a member at Scioto.  I wasn’t allowed in the main ballroom, of course, being just a child of The Help, but even watching from the door to the kitchen I was utterly mesmerized by these kids – probably only three or four years older than me – bashing out the rock & roll.  To borrow a phrase from my former employer, Hamell On Trial, my brain exploded at that searingly close proximity to rock & roll music.

That was the night I learned to love live rock & roll music.  (I also learned a lot about the distribution of wealth in the United Sates and the myth of the classless American society peeking out of that kitchen door, and having to duck back inside anytime a Scioto member or their kids happened to glance my way.)  For right then, though, all I knew was that those four boys – in their paisley shirts & striped pants – were conjuring up a truly mighty din.  Their teenage peers were dancing their little hearts out.  Their parents – and many other adults – were holding their hands over their ears.  Kick out the jams, indeed.  It quite literally took my breath away.

I’d watched The Beatles and The Dave Clark 5 and Gerry & the Pacemakers and The Animals and The Rolling Stones and all of the other British Invasion acts on television, on the Ed Sullivan Show and The Hollywood Palace (I don’t think Shindig and Hullabaloo had even debuted by that time), but I had never seen a live rock & roll band up close and personal, had never shared an enclosed space with that electrically-amplified, brain-numbingly loud noise, drive & excitement. 

I think I probably watched that band – who shall forever remain unknown to me – for at least 45 minutes, and I’m sure they played all cover tunes, but I don’t remember a single song except “Gloria,” which that Upper Arlington quartet NAILED but good.  I don’t know for sure if my lifelong love affair with that Van Morrison/Them tune began that night, but I do know that “G-L-O-R-I-A” is one of my five favorite songs of all time, and rock & roll’s most perfect, most primal rallying cry.  (Just ask Patti Smith or Willie Phoenix.)

After that night my dad – in his nighttime second-job position as ticket agent for Central Ticket Office – started getting me into national touring rock shows at Vet’s Memorial.  I also started taking the bus downtown every Saturday afternoon to see bands, first at Lazarus and later at Morehouse Fashion – the two big Columbus department stores – when they started booking local rock bands in their Junior Misses departments to bring in the teen girl shoppers for groovy fashions and – by extension – the teen boys who would follow those teen girls pretty much anywhere. 

I liked records and used all of my lunch & bus money (I’d hitchhike home from school, knowledge that would have killed my mother) and all of the money I earned working at the Dairy Queen across the street from our house on Sullivant Avenue to buy them, but really what I liked was watching bands play live.  At one point in my life – fairly early on – I concluded that ALL records should be recorded live, because if the bands couldn’t cut it to record live, they shouldn’t be making records.  In many ways, I stand by that notion to this day.  It certainly would have saved us from a fuckload of bad music – starting with The Beatles after “Revolver” and ending with Mumford & Sons.   

It has occurred to me recently that almost every single thing I’ve done in my entire life I did so that I could go see bands play.

I turned 62 years old on June 30th, and just started collecting Social Security, so this is not a particularly auspicious thing to realize; at least to most of respectable, workaday society.

I started playing in bands in high school so that it would be easier for me to go see bands play, including the ones I was in.  (I also did it to meet girls, but that's whole 'nother blog.)  I stayed in college long enough to stay out of the Vietnam War, but not long enough to graduate.  And then for twenty years I worked in warehouses, unloading trucks, so that I had enough money to go see bands play.

I couldn’t begin to go into all the bands I’ve seen in the past 49 years:  from Columbus bands The Dantes, The Fifth Order, The Grayps, The Godz, Black Leather Touch, The Shadowlords, Gunshy Ministers, Howlin’ Maggie, Mrs. Children, and probably dozens more.  I saw Watershed dozens of times BEFORE I worked for them and dozens after.  I saw Paul Revere & the Raiders, Bob Dylan's first electric tour with The Hawks, The Turtles, The Jimi Hendix Experience, The Doors, The Left Banke, Cream, Janis Joplin, and – most crucially, in 1969, the best live show I ever witnessed – The Who.  I saw everybody in the 1970’s, from bands I loved – The Kinks, Mott The Hoople, The New York Dolls, Cheap Trick, AC/DC, the Patti Smith Group and Aerosmith – to bands I hated and later learned to despise – Styx, Rush, Triumph – to bands I loved then and hate now – The Eagles.         

I saw The Stooges – the original band, with Ron Asheton on guitar – TWICE while I was still in high school.  I saw Brownsville Station – the pride of Ann Arbor, Michigan, with the immortal Cub Koda on lead guitar – a dozen times between 1969 and 1972 with my high school best friend & bandmate Dave Blackburn, the person who taught me more about music and rock & roll and life than anybody else on this planet, and to this day Brownsville remains one of the five best live bands I’ve seen in my entire rock & roll existence.  It was like seeing The Who every few weeks, like Pete & Keith and company were a local band.  I saw Mink DeVille, Nick Lowe & Rockpile, and Elvis Costello & the Attractions all in one night in Cincinnati one time.  I’ve seen Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band and Ian Hunter – both with Mott The Hoople and in his solo years – more times than any other national acts, and over a longer span of years – 1969 to 2013 for Ian, 1976 to this past April for Bruce.

I’ve had my head knocked sideways by the most unexpected bands in the weirdest places: by a band of teenagers called The First Ship that sounded like Fairport Convention backed by The Velvet Underground in a small town in Canada when I was on the road with Hamell On Trial; by 1970’s singer/songwriter Marshall Chapman, whose live performance at a beach-bar happy hour while I was on vacation around 1985 somewhere in South Carolina was so much better than her records that it made my heart hurt; by Pete & Maura Kennedy at the old Border’s Book Store at Kenny & Henderson at 11 am on a Sunday morning, with only 3 other people there, one of whom turned out to be Mark Segal, who I didn't meet until years later when I started working at Ace In The Hole Music, where he was a regular customer and became my good friend.  

I saw the Jim Carroll Band, The Replacements, REM, The Del-Lords, Violent Femmes, Marshall Crenshaw and Prince – among many others – in the 1980’s.  I saw five of my favorite singer/songwriters – Richard Thompson, Dave Alvin, Steve Earle,  Lucinda Williams and Alejandro Escovedo – in the 1990’s.  I didn’t see my all-time rock & roll hero, Elliott Murphy, until 1992, but it was worth the wait.  Somewhere in all that I saw the three best live rock & roll bands that you never saw – Bronx’s The Dictators, Boston’s The Neighborhoods and Columbus’ Romantic Noise. 

At the dawn of the 21st century – owing to a small inheritance from my mom & dad – I was able to stop unloading trucks in warehouses and to start working in record stores and being a roadie for bands.  From 2000 to 2014 I’ve seen exactly three rock & roll bands I didn’t see in the 20th century who were truly epic – The Strokes, The White Stripes, and The Avett Brothers – but I’m still out there looking.

Because all I’ve ever wanted to do is to go see bands play. - Ricki C. / The last day of summer, 2014.

 

Summer In The City reprint series, part one: A Somewhat Organized List of 1980's Comedies - by David Martin

Like most of Continental Europe - which does not have the benefit of central air conditioning -  the Pencilstorm offices largely close down during the dog days of August.  It was especially bad this year, since Ricki C. took home the Koolerator box fan he brought in from a West Side yard sale and Colin "borrowed" the Kenmore window A/C unit he scored at a St. Agatha's swap meet "temporarily" for his second bedroom and never brought it back. 

As such, for the next week or ten days, Pencilstorm will be running a reprint series of our favorite blogs from our regular writers and some of the ringers we've solicited pieces from over the past three years.  This is part one:  

A Somewhat Organized List of 1980's Comedies - by David Martin  

New York magazine did an interview with Steven Soderbergh that's worth reading. Among other things, the director talks about avoiding disaster film clichés ("Can’t show the president. No helicopter shots"), the gentle spirit of the Ocean's franchise, and the darkness of Saturday Night Fever.

Soderbergh's a good dude, and he makes good movies. But he said one thing I disagree with: He called the 1980s a "terrible decade" for American films.

Hmmm... Raging BullBlade RunnerE.T.The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Vietnam movies, Aliens and Amadeus—those are some pretty good mainstream movies. Die Hard is arguably the best action movie ever. If you can look past the shoe-sized cell phones and dated eyewear, Wall Street holds up really well.

Comedies, it seems, were especially strong. Now, I was teenager for most of the '80s, and I'm sure that colors my thinking. But if nothing else, comedies of the '80s were more varied than they are today, when everything is basically a variation of Old School (and, to a lesser extent, Office Space). Here's a list of movies I found entertaining and maybe you did, too.

This Is Spinal Tap
One of the amazing things about Spinal Tap was the fact that hard rock had not yet reached the apex of its stupidity. “Big Bottom” preceded “Cherry Pie” by six years. 

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
Hollywood Shuffle
ketchy.

Raising Arizona
My first and favorite Coen Bros. movie. 

48 Hrs.
Trading Places
Beverly Hills Cop
Raw
Coming to America
I think Cop was the first R-rated movie I saw in theaters. Eddie Murphy was huge.

Fletch
I met sportswriter Rick Reilly early in my writing career, and he was kind to me. But it was once said of him that he gives off the impression that he wishes he was the guy who wrote Fletch. It was not meant as a compliment. Still, good movie.

A Fish Called Wanda

Modern Romance
Lost in America
Both movies feature really funny scenes of Albert Brooks interacting with an older man (the sound engineer, the casino boss) who finds him annoying. 

Brazil

Airplane!
I realized after reading this essay that I’m not a big fan of joke-driven movies. I don’t think I ever paid to see a Naked Gun movie. I’ve never seen Space Balls or Top Secret! But Airplane!? Real recognize real.

The Princess Bride
When Harry Met Sally…
Rob Reiner is the Don Mattingly of directors—a guy with a great peak who couldn't sustain it over the course of a long career.

After Hours
Something Wild

Caddyshack
Stripes
Tootsie
Ghostbusters
Scrooged
Ghostbusters II
Yeah, yeah, Tootsie is Dustin Hoffman’s movie. But it looks cool in this list of Bill Murray efforts. The ’90s got off to kind of a rough start for Bill (Quick Change). But by decade’s end he had appeared in several memorable roles: Groundhog Day, Ed Wood, Kingpin and, of course, Rushmore.

Bull Durham
Major League
In addition to these two successful comedies, The Natural, Eight Men Out and Field of Dreams also came out in the ’80s. Bull Durham loses steam toward the end but is still probably the best sports movie ever. 

Splash
Bachelor Party
Big

Midnight Run
In this tribute to Run, TV critic Alan Sepinwall notes that it came out within five days of Die Hard. “If those two aren’t the best example of their respective sub-genres, they’re at least in the discussion.” (Sepinwall endorsed Hitless Wonder, by the way.)

Mr. Mom
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Sixteen Candles
The Breakfast Club
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
I think these are John Hughes’s five best movies. (He wrote but did not direct Mr. Mom and Vacation.) Your list might look different, because he made a lot of good movies. Vanity Fair contributor David Kamp wrote a piece about Hughes after his death that's really sharp. My first real girlfriend and I went to see Ferris Bueller on our first date, I think. 

Night Shift
Beetlejuice
You can see a rough outline of the Beetlejuice character in this obnoxious version of himself that Michael Keaton played in a short film for a prime-time Letterman special.

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

The Blues Brothers

 

Roger and MeA documentary, yes, but still funny.

 

Broadcast News

She’s Gotta Have It
Do the Right Thing
Do the Right Thing, Broadcast News and other movies on this list would fall in the "dramedy" category.

Moonstruck

Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Say Anything
Heathers
Summer School
Clueless (1995) is an honorary ’80s movie.

Diner
Tin Men
ain Man

James Wolcott’s memoir conveys how fresh and exciting Diner and Blue Velvet were when they were released. I’m with Wolcott in that I felt more “pummeled” than intoxicated by Velvet, but I appreciate its originality. 

Hannah and Her Sisters
Crimes and Misdemeanors
“If it bends, it’s funny…”

Three Amigos
Roxanne
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Parenthood
I saw Parenthood with Mike "Biggie" McDermott and others. Toward the end of the movie, when everything’s wrapping up in that Lowell Ganz-Babaloo Mandel way, Biggie whispered, “Gil likes the roller coaster, too.”

Used Cars
Overboard
Used Cars is essentially an R-rated Bad News Bears. Kurt Russell was a good Elvis, too. 

Back to the Future
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Assembling this list, I see that things started to break down a little bit toward the end of the decade. Big and Parenthood are fine in their own right, but they portended the navel-gazing that I associate with comedies of the early and mid ’90sCity Slickers being the archetype. One problem, I think, is that baby boomers were becoming a little too grown-up to work effectively in the genre. Harold Ramis, for instance, was pretty much done after Groundhog Day (1993).

 

David Martin left the newspaper business before it had a chance to tell him his place in the industry was no longer available. Follow him on Twitter: @david2martin.

 

MLB Trade Deadline Thoughts - by Brian Phillips

Baseball's non-waiver trade deadline was a mad dash to the finish Monday at 4 eastern. Here are a few thoughts.

Cleveland Indians

No question the Tribe made themselves better. Their deal for closer Andrew Miller can pay off big time in October. Predecessor Cody Allen is decent, but he isn't Miller. When you combine the jolt the pen just received with baseball's best overall rotation you have a championship contender. 

It was a bummer the Indians didn't get Jonathan Lucroy, but they did improve their depth with Rays outfielder Brandon Guyer. Guyer is a lefty killer who also displays a unique talent for getting hit by pitches. He's leading baseball in taking one for the team despite less than full-time at bats. He paced the AL in that category last season as well. Guyer is a middling defender, but his production against southpaws fills a void, no question.

Cincinnati Reds

After many fits and starts, Jay Bruce has finally been traded. Coming back from the New York Mets is infielder Dilson Herrera and lefty Max Wotell. (Has the Reds organization found a Moneyball-like market inefficency in left handed pitching?) Herrera is having a nice year in Triple A, hitting .276 with 13 home runs and 61 RBI. Yes, his walk rate is down, but so is his strike out rate. Scouts say his defense isn't good enough to play short, and he's likely viewed by Reds' brass as a replacement for the aging Brandon Phillips at second. Despite some brief stints in the big leagues in 2014 and 15, Herrera is still just 22.

Wotell is 19 and a 3rd round selection of the Mets in 2015. In his second season of rookie ball Wotell has displayed a nice strikeout rate, but is also wild as hell. You really can't say much about a 19 year old. 

New York Mets

The Mets are hoping they can replicate last season's surge when they added Yoenis Cespedes at the deadline and he went wild, pushing them all the way to the NL Pennent. Bruce is having a great bounce-back year, but this isn't a perfect fit. With sniper glove man Juan Lagares on the DL, they have to mix & match Curtis Granderson and Michael Conforto in center with Bruce and Cespedes on the corners. Manager Terry Collins has been known to stick Cespedes in center as well, but that's because Collins is a lovable old dummy. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the Mets outfield defense sucks right now. 

Texas Rangers

There's a rush to go ahead and ticket the Rangers for the World Series, but let's slow our roll here just a hair. Yes, Jonathan Lucroy and Carlos Beltran give the Rangers' already clicking offense a nice boost, but the Rangers failed to address their rotation at all. (Getting 31 year old Lucas Harrell from the Braves last week does not count.) Cole Hamels is a fine pitcher and so is Yu Darvish. What sort of work load can Darvish handle coming off Tommy John though? A.J. Griffin has been decent, but just off the DL himself. Martin Perez stinks. Does this assemblage beat the Tribe in the ALCS? No way.

Out in the pen they added Brewers closer Jeremy Jeffress. He won't close with Texas, at least not initially. He's had a decent year, but his strike out rate is pretty lame for a 9th inning guy.

Toronto Blue Jays

The Blue Jays are going to send Aaron Sanchez to the bullpen soon to save his arm and with that they've sent their hopes for a deep playoff run away with him. Sanchez is the real deal. Francisco Liriano (Pirates), Mike Bolsinger (Dodgers) and Scott Feldman (Astros) are not. 

As an aside, the Blue Jays gave up on Drew Hutchison yesterday, shipping him off to Pittsburgh in the Lirano deal. Yes he is frustrating, but he's still only 25 and has displayed great strike out stuff in the past. Pirates pitcher whisperer Ray Searage can't wait to get his hands on him, I guarantee you that. 

Los Angeles Dodgers

L.A. finally had enough of of Yasiel Puig's tired act and lack of production and acquired outfielder Josh Reddick and pitcher Rich Hill from trader Billy Beane and the A's. Reddick has some wallop from the left side, but what the Dodgers are hoping for most is a return to defensive form. Speaking of hope, if L.A. can somehow squeeze two months of starts and the post season out of oft-injured Rich Hill they'll be ecstatic. Hill is currently fighting a blister. Without Clayton Kershaw for an unknown period though the Dodgers will kneel and pray for Hill. 

San Francisco Giants

People are ripping the Matt Moore deal, but I still think Moore can be a really good major league pitcher. At 27 he's still youngish and pitching in that chilly and mammoth park out on the Bay can't hurt. Still, Matt Duffy and minor leagers were a lot to give to the Rays. 

Baltimore Orioles

I'm not sure what they're thinking bringing in Wade Miley from Seattle. Miley has shown flashes including this past Saturday in Chicago, but he's gotten pulverized this year too giving up an alarming 1.45 home runs per nine. Some of that is bad luck, but some of that is a 7% jump in hard hit rate. That won't play in Camden Yards at all. Still he's better than Ubaldo Jimenez I suppose. I'm better than Ubaldo Jimenez. 

New York Yankees

I won't pretend to be close to an expert on prospects, but I do know it was time. Time for the Yankees to bite the bullet and commit themselves to a real, lasting, youth movement. Hey they see the Red Sox all the time with Betts, Bradley Junior, etc contributing at their tender ages. The Cubs no doubt have made an impact on their thinking as well. You can't win by going shopping every January any more, not with every other club locking up their top young talent through their most productive years. The Yanks are living with that dumb A. Rod contract every day. Buying a team is over. Developing and keeping your own talent is the way. Stocking up by trading relief pitchers is brilliant. Smartest thing I've seen the Yankees do in a long time. You can find kids that throw 100 miles per hour and besides you kept Dillon Betances who is a straight- up witch. 

Seattle Mariners

Sigh. Another year sliding into the abyss. Oh well, almost Seahawks time!

Brian Phillips the morning drive time DJ for CD102.5 FM in Columbus, OH. He plays in three fantasy baseball leagues.