Browns Kickoff Party at Four String Brew with The League Bowlers

The Cleveland Browns will be kicking off the season at 1 pm on Sunday September 11th  against the Philadelphia Eagles. To celebrate the occasion, Pencilstorm Browns bloggers The North Coast Posse will be converging on the Four String Brew Taproom (985 W. 6th) at noon to begin their annual tradition of heavy self-medication to survive another Browns campaign. Four String Brew will be the NCP home of the Browns for the 2016 season.

Follow @northcoastposse (The NCP were named a Top Five follow by the actual Cleveland Browns)

As if watching two of the NFL's worst teams play while day drinking wasn't enough, The League Bowlers (featuring Four String Owner Dan Cochran on the 4 string bass, duh) will be performing a set of rock n roll at noon. The event is FREE. See you there!

Space Ace at the Motor City Food Fest - by Jeremy Porter

Concert Review: 
Ace Frehley - Motor City Food and Music Fest
Farmington Hills, Michigan
Sunday August 28, 2016
By Jeremy Porter

On a warm & humid Sunday night in the Detroit suburb of Farmington Hills, Michigan, the Spaceman himself - original KISS guitarist Ace Frehley - landed with his band to close out the first Motor City Food and Music Festival. The setting was the parking lot of an old Sam’s Club that has now been converted into the shiny, slick, enormous Motor City Harley Davidson store, and the festival served as the grand opening celebration. Those driven to purchase VIP seating enjoyed rows of folding chairs in a fenced-in area in front of the stage, while those of us less-convinced it would be necessary stood behind, about 25 yards back. It didn’t seem to matter much - the vantage point proved adequate and our sightlines were fine. The 4-year old blonde kid with a mohawk and full Spaceman face paint, however, was glad to be up front with his dad, both clearly loving every moment.    

Just after 7:30, Fractured Mirror, the instrumental closing track from Frehley’s 1978 KISS “solo” album (his career high-watermark), faded in over the PA as he & his band gathered behind the stacks and walked out on stage. “How ya’ doin’ Detroit Rock City?” he asked in his trademark New York accent as they broke into Rip It Out, the opening track from the same record. OK, I’ll confess: I had goosebumps. I spent YEARS of my early youth locked in my bedroom listening to that album and the KISS records that preceded and followed it - over & over & over again. Ace was always our favorite - my friends and I. We liked The Demon too, and the Catman and the Starchild a little less, but Ace was the coolest. 

Opening with Rip It Out set the bar pretty high and established a momentum difficult to maintain. The set was a bit of a roller coaster ride - with other peaks like the Alive II-side 4 studio gem Rocket Ride and the unexpected Strange Ways from 1974’s Hotter Than Hell, and a coupla stinkers too, like the terrible song Toys from the 2014 Space Invader record and an unnecessary, extended bass solo integrating bits of God of Thunder, Black Sabbath’s NIB, and the theme from Halloween. I was probably in the minority, rolling my eyes when they went into classic KISS songs like Deuce, Love Gun and Detroit Rock City. All fantastic songs and crowd favorites - but none written by Ace or executed with the tenacity they deserved. All of this fluff was especially disappointing when there are several other options he could have pulled from his own catalog - including the great track Cold Gin, which Gene always sang, but Ace wrote, and other gems from that '78 solo album like What’s On Your Mind or Speeding Back to My Baby. 

I'm not sure that drumhead would have been approved by Sean Delaney. -Colin G.

Ace always had the look and the guitar chops, but he never had the vocal pipes of Stanley or Simmons. His voice always worked when called upon, though, thanks to a charm and character that matched his goofy, fucked-up personality. On this night, however, his vocals often came across as weak and tired, almost spoken at times, compared to the more energetic performances we’re familiar with from albums past. Maybe it was exhaustion from the road, or perhaps at 65 he (understandably) just doesn’t have the wind he once did, but it seemed like a little more effort at the microphone would have gone a long way. The drummer sang a few songs and had a more traditional and energetic rock and roll delivery (think Derek St. Holmes meets Paul Stanley), but less historical correlation and therefore less ultimate command of the material than Ace.    

The band was loose, occasionally to a fault, sounding at times a bit unrehearsed and sloppy. At their best they cast a very New York sleaze-rock shadow and came across as a cool, modern version of the groups that defined that city’s punk-glam sound in the '70s. Ace’s 3-pickup Les Paul cut through the mix nicely and he brought out the smoldering, smoking guitar for his extended solo and worked in bits of his Alive II Shock Me solo to the crowd’s delight. For a brief moment, I was myself transported to the upper deck of the Houston Summit in 1977, looking down through the clouds of marijuana smoke at this alien being from outer space ripping an amazing lead from a guitar about to explode in front of 16,000 fans.  

Despite the super-fan dissection of the setlist and the at-times lackluster and sloppy performance, it was a fun set. I mean, who doesn’t get a little nostalgic when their childhood hero is a few feet in front of them for the first time (I never saw KISS with Ace), or nod their head forward and back to the opening chords of New York Groove? Can’t say I’d go too far out of my way to see him again, or pay that $30 to be 15 feet closer, but it was a beautiful Michigan night, the price was right, and those familiar songs and great riffs are just ingrained into my blood.

Setlist:  

Fractured Mirror (Pre-recorded)
Rip It Out
Toys
Rocket Ride
Parasite
Love Gun
Emerald (Thin Lizzy cover)
Rock Soldiers
Bass Solo
Strange Ways
New York Groove
2 Young 2 Die
Shock Me
Ace Frehley Guitar Solo
Detroit Rock City
Deuce

Jeremy Porter lives near Detroit and fronts the rock and roll band Jeremy Porter And The Tucos. Follow them on Facebook to read his road-blog chronicling their adventures and see his photo series documenting the disgusting bathrooms in the dives they play. He's a whiskey snob, an unapologetic fan of "good" metal, and couldn't really care less about the UofM - OSU rivalry since he once saw The Stones at the Horseshoe. Still, go blue.     

www.thetucos.com
www.facebook.com/jeremyportermusic
@jeremyportermi
www.rockandrollrestrooms.com

Tuesdays With Ricki - week one / Rock & Roll Stars Selling Their Songs (and Souls) in Commercials

When I first came up with the idea for Tuesdays With Ricki – in which I will endeavor to entertain and/or bother the Pencilstorm readership with a semi-regular Tuesday column – I ran the title “Tuesdays With Ricki” past my lovely wife Debbie, saying, “It's a play on Tuesdays With Morrie, that John Steinbeck travelogue book.”  (Steinbeck is one of my three favorite authors.)  Debbie just looked over and said, “John Steinbeck didn’t write Tuesdays With Morrie.  That book was about a sports writer visiting his old professor.”  “Uhhh, I don’t think so,” I replied, “I’m pretty sure it was Steinbeck.”

It didn’t take Google long to straighten me out that I was thinking of Travels With Charley by Steinbeck, and the professor in Tuesdays With Morrie is losing his memory, so I’m probably definitely closer to Morrie than Steinbeck.

Anyway, Tuesdays With Ricki will be a hodge-podge of topics – my late-night TV rundown (literally), some music, some books (the Springsteen auto-b comes out September 27th, I’m hyped for that), movies, rock stars selling their asses to the highest bidder to get their songs into commercials (obviously a continuing boil on the skin of my universe), some Ricki C. rock & roll stories, etc. – whatever I feel like babbling about that week.  Let’s see how many Tuesdays I can get in before I drop the ball or Colin decides he’s had enough of my guff.

Rock & roll stars selling their songs (and souls) in commercials.

It’s getting so I can’t get through a single evening of television viewing without being confronted with my favorite rock & rollers selling out their birthright to the Lowest Common Denominator of network commercials.  Actually, in the case of The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy For The Devil” being used by fucking PETSMART for God’s sake, we’ve actually found a way to go BELOW the Lowest Common Denominator – something my fifth-grade math back at St. Aloysius tells me is impossible, but here we are.

I fully realize I’ve bored readers with this subject before, but now it’s not just alt-rockers & pop stars peddling their asses to the Highest Bidder, it’s the BIG THREE of bands I formerly loved – The Rolling Stones, The Who and The Clash – offering up their tunes on the altar of the Big Bucks.  Of course this is nothing new, Pete Townshend has been selling out The Who tunes for DECADES (and, in fact, called an album The Who Sell Out back in 1967, but back then he was being all arty & ironic, it's only now we realize he was merely peering into his future).  Just last night in the course of one evening of TV I caught “Eminence Front,” “Baba O’Riley” and “Won’t Get Fooled Again” being trotted out to sell Disposables to The Masses.  Even by Pete’s rather dubious commercial standards, this might be approaching overkill.

“Won’t Get Fooled Again” was formerly my FAVORITE rock & roll song of all time.  I find now I can’t even listen to it when it comes on oldies radio in the car, let alone put it on my stereo at home.  And I fully realize that many Pencilstorm readers will say, “Jeeez, Ricki, it’s just a commercial.  It’s only rock & roll.  Lighten up.”  But I find as I grow older I find I CAN’T lighten up on this topic.  It’s hard to explain to regular people just HOW MUCH these songs once meant to me, and HOW HARD it is to hear them being used to sell dog food.  “Sympathy For The Devil” for Petsmart?  HOW BADLY could Mick Jagger & Keith Richards have needed that money?  It’s one thing for Mick & Keith to sell “Satisfaction” to whatever commercial that’s in, it’s quite another to peddle their paean to The Prince of Darkness to Petsmart.  What do cute cartoon puppies, “The Secret Life of Pets” and Satan have in common?  How many millions is too many millions?     

Which brings us to the next point: I’m thinking that all of a sudden we’re hearing Clash tunes – “Should I Stay or Should I Go,” “London Calling,” etc. – in commercials because Mick Jones and whichever widow of Joe Strummer’s has control of his publishing have finally signed on the dotted line.  I still have a problem with The Clash – who actually BACKED UP their early radical political leanings with action, the Rock Against Racism shows & such – being used as fodder for hotel reservations, but someone who married Joe Strummer probably still has his kids to raise, so maybe that woman gets a pass.  Do I believe we would have heard these songs on commercials if Joe Strummer were still alive?  Lord God Jesus, I hope not.  

Okay, one of my self-imposed limits on Tuesdays With Ricki is that no post will go over 750 words and we’re coming perilously close that barrier so let me just say two things: 1) Artists are fully entitled to do whatever they want with their creations, but just don’t come crying to me for my Concert Buck after you do.  You made your money, you lost my respect, I guess we’re even.  2) The Rolling Stones, The Who and The Clash all used to believe in something – the righteous power of rock & roll – and now they don’t.  I still do.  How quaint.  – Ricki C. / September 4, 2016.

Why Is Michigan Getting So Much Love? Is Harbaugh Nutz? Baver Answers and Picks Some Winners.

Colin: Why Is Michigan getting so much love? Who is their quarterback anyway? 

Baver: Michigan probably deserves more respect than Buckeye fans are giving them. But they need to beat at least one of Ohio State or Sparty on the road this year, two schools that absolutely own them, to deserve the love they are getting. As for the QB, Harbaugh is of course doing things in atypical fashion, not naming a starter in fall camp for the 2nd year in a row. But it looks like Wilton Speight will get the first shot. He played against the Bucks last year and did not impress. It’s either Speight, Houston transfer John O’Korn, or a combination of both of them against Hawaii tomorrow. The Wolverines are suspect at QB, RB & LB, but look strong everywhere else, and actually upgraded with Defensive Coordinators with Don Brown replacing DJ Durkin.

Colin: Harbaugh seems to be acting a little extra crazy these days and a couple of recruits have recently jumped ship. Is his act going to fly or do you think his eccentric behavior could become a problem with recruits sooner than later?

Baver: Colin, usually it’s you shooting from the hip and me sugar coating it. It’s not eccentric behavior; it’s a complete freak show with Harbaugh. I watched his interview with the BTN media guys at the Big Ten Media days…and the guy is out there. He didn’t say anything crazy in that interview, but his facial expressions, his delivery when he talks….he is just a bizarre guy. The guy can coach; I’ll give him that, but his strange ways don’t help him in recruiting.

Colin: How would you rate the Big Ten compared to other conferences? What teams have a shot at making the playoff?

Baver: I think it’s the SEC and then a bit of a drop-off, as much as I hate to admit it. The other four Power Five conferences are all neck and neck in my mind – I could see the Big Ten finishing anywhere from 2nd to 5th in terms of conference computer ratings at year-end. I think Michigan and Ohio State have legit shots at the playoff, and maybe even Sparty. But Sparty isn’t going to win any tie-breakers from the committee after laying the egg they laid against Bama in last year’s playoff. Iowa has a longer shot at the playoff, but does play all of their big games at home

Colin: If Pencilstorm could send you to cover five games anywhere in the country this season, which five would you pick?

Baver: I don’t need to necessarily leave Columbus for all of ‘em do I?  Because OSU-Michigan in the ‘Shoe goes without saying; LSU-Bama down on the bayou; Clemson-Florida State at Doak Campbell Stadium.  Ohio State-Oklahoma in Norman (and I was actually there with my old man in ’83, and remember it like it was yesterday). And Bama-Tennessee in Knoxville. When is my prepaid expense check coming?

Colin: Looking around the country, do you have any dark horse picks for the CFB playoff or do you expect the usual suspects?

Baver: I like Clemson to win it all. On paper, they are a top-3 team in the country (in my mind) and have the easiest road to the title of all the big boys. As a dark horse, I think Louisville is worth a flyer, and I said that before Lamar Jackson put up video game highlights last night. I’ve got Clemson & LSU in the title game. I think this is Les Miles’ best team since his ’07 team that beat Ohio State in the title game. I think Bama’s schedule probably puts them in the loss column twice this year, but it of course wouldn’t shock me to see them win their 5th title in 8 years.

Colin:  Some interesting match ups in week one. Which games will you be keeping and eye on and who would you put $ on if you did that sort of thing? If I remember right, you lit it up against the spread last year, right?

Baver: 24-14-1 against the spread a year ago, but I am due for some duds this year after knocking ‘em down two straight years. I like Florida State laying 4 ½ as the best play on the board. They’ve got so much coming back and Ole Piss is breaking in a new team that won’t be ready in Wk 1. I like Clemson (-7 ½) to win and cover at Auburn, despite Clemson struggling a bit on the road (ATS wise) last year. I like LSU (-11) to roll Wisconsin in Green Bay. And I picked Bowling Green to cover the 28 against our Buckeyes in the OSU Q&A we had, but I think that spread is pretty sharp.

How Do You Attack the OSU Defense? Baver Answers This and More.

Colin: With all these rough road match-ups, is J.T. Barrett the most important QB since Art Schlichter? How hurting are we if he goes down? 

Baver: I'm not sure if we have to go all the way back to Schlichter, but JT is pretty damn important. Joe Burrow would bring a different set of tools to the Buckeye offense. I like Burrow’s upside, but I think the offense would have to change too much if they had to make the switch. Compare that to JT replacing Braxton in 2014 where the two QBs had similar strengths that they brought to the table. You didn't have to revamp the offense much to make that switch. Also you mention the road games…JT was a man possessed in overtime at Penn State in 2014. He had a sprained knee, but no one had any luck convincing him to come out of the game, and I think he willed Ohio State to victory in the two overtime periods.

Colin: How would you attack the OSU defense?  

Baver: Hard to answer at this point with all the new guys, and with Schiano now making the defensive calls. It will probably be the most athletic defense Ohio State has ever fielded. Prevailing wisdom says: run at the speed, as opposed to away from it, right? Oklahoma has two backs custom built to do just that…..Samaje Perine and Joe Mixon…that’s a 235-pound RB backed up by a 226-pounder. And, Ohio State lacks that 310-pound-plus nose tackle that most teams have now a days.

I tend to think OSU's pass D will be the teams #1 strength, with the key defenders being ready to play right out of the shoot. As good as Baker Mayfield is, I am not sure he wants to test OSU’s secondary too much….especially when you have the Perine/Mixon combo to pound away with. 

So, that's at least how I would attack OSU's D if I'm Oklahoma.

Colin: What players do you think will break out on offense? 

Baver: I’ll say the #1 breakout guy will be Curtis Samuel, followed by Noah Brown. I’ve seen enough flashes out of Samuel to take him over Noah Brown, a WR that has one catch in his career here. But you know what “they” are saying once again this August….that Brown has been a beast in practice. The other guy that could get there is Corey Smith, but he again seems to found his way into Urban’s dog house….not a place where I would want to hang out for too long. 

Colin: How does the OSU-Bowling Green game play out? 

Baver: Bowling Green has the best set of LBs in the MAC and may have more success than you might think defending Ohio State's offense. And I think the Buckeyes will replace their defensive stars better than BG will replace their All-MAC departed QB Matt Johnson. If you sync the games over/under (64 1/2) with the 28-point spread , Vegas sees the Bucks winning this one 46-18. Both team totals seem high, and I tend to think OSU will commit some turnovers on offense with 8 new starters. My best guess is Ohio State wins by an approx score of 38-14…so I have BG covering the 28. Probably smart to stay away from this game though if you are a bettor…just too many first-time starters and too many new (key) coaches for both teams.

Colin: What are your best, worse and most realistic case win totals prediction for this year's Ohio State Football team? 

Baver: 11-1 tops, 8-4 the worst, and 10-2 the most likely scenario.

Are the Buckeyes Headed for a Rough Season? Baver Answers the Question.

Colin: I can't remember the Buckeyes losing this much talent in one season. Everybody assumes we just reload but the 1999 team was set to "reload" with Ken Yon Rambo and Reggie Germany and went 6-6. The 2004 squad featured Troy Smith, A.J. Hawk and Ted Ginn and... started the season with losses in three of their first six games. Why is this team going to be different? Or are they? 

Baver: This year’s team will be better than both of those teams. Troy Smith was not ready to play QB until late 2004, while JT is ready to go right now. In fact, both 1999 and 2004 featured first-year starters at QB. Steve Bellisari was bad all three years that he started here, and was “really” bad in 1999. And need I remind you that Austin Moherman was the starting QB in the 1999 opener?  

But point taken anyway. This “automatically reload” mentality of many OSU fans is over-the-top. It’s going to be ugly at times early on this season, and this team could easily lose three games, maybe more if they can’t catch many breaks. And even if the talent is every bit as good as a Buckeye homer thinks it will be, you don’t just push a button and gain experience overnight.

Colin: To sum up this team in a nutshell, we sent one of the best runners in OSU history to the NFL and have replaced him with a guy who has never played in a college football game. I mean, that has to be a drop off in production, right? 

Baver: Yes, maybe a huge one. And I am taking a wait and see approach on Mike Weber. As much as I hear he is a star in the making, I still hear other whispers that he has a long way to go. I feel much better about replacing Joey Bosa than I do Ezekiel Elliott. You said “one of the best runners” in OSU history….that’s an understatement. I think you can make a strong argument that Zeke is the best back that ever came through here when you think about the run/block/catch combo he brought to the table.

Colin: I'm a big Curtis Samuel fan but sometimes it feels like when a guy gets labeled "best playmaker" that is code for, "we don't have role for him". Any concern Samuel gets lost in the shuffle they way Braxton Miller did at times last year?

Baver: Good point about playmakers and true roles. I have never thought of Samuel as an every down running back and he is certainly not a true wide receiver either. But like you, I like him too....and I am drinking at least some of the Kool-Aid. Lots of talk that Samuel was never really 100% last year, and that he is about to explode. There is so much talent on this team, yet most of the coaches point to Samuel as being the guy most likely to take the next step on the Buckeye offense and special teams.

But, if Samuel does little in these first two tune-up games, this offense could be in for some rough times ahead, against some very good defensive teams on the Buckeye’s schedule this year.

Colin: As you mention, the schedule is rough. Oklahoma game #3 is looming. What areas do we need to square away ASAP to have a shot down in Norman?

Baver: Every offensive position except QB, where OSU should be fine if JT stays healthy. The Sooners have a great secondary, and I don’t think the Buckeye WRs will be fully in sync with JT that early in the season. And Zeke wasn’t really ready in game #3 of 2014; will Mike Weber be in game #3 of 2016? I tend to doubt it. And remember OSU’s young offensive line in game #2 of 2014 against Va Tech? A nightmare. What was it, 7 sacks? Gotta get these things in order very quickly or the Bucks are in big trouble at Oklahoma. 

You didn't ask about the flip side, but I now think the Bucks are in pretty good shape on defense. They will of course have their problems containing Baker Mayfield and Samaje Perine, but so will everyone else on OU's schedule.