Witnessing Rock & Roll History at the 9:30 Club: 13 Amazing Shows - by JCE

(editor's note: Much of the staff here at Pencilstorm has worked day jobs and played in rock & roll bands nights & weekends for most of their lives.  (There were/are no trust fund babies in the likes of Watershed, The Twilight Kids, Bava Choco and Armada.)  Many of those jobs were in retail and in service industries.  Nowadays - here in the comfort of Pencilstorm - we don't work nearly as hard, and essentially take a lot of December off work to concentrate on gigs.  So, we're gonna take this opportunity to: 1) Burn off some blogs that we never managed to fit in anywhere earlier in the year, beginning with today, JCE's excellent memoir of Washington D.C.'s 9:30 Club.....  2) Maybe rerun some of our favorite Christmas-related blogs of earlier years.....and  3) Relentlessly promote the December gigs of our friends & Pencilstorm associates.  Read on, and stay warm.)            

WITNESSING ROCK & ROLL HISTORY FROM A WINDOWSILL - JCE    

I grew up in Alexandria, Virginia.  As soon as I was old enough to drive, I would go to Georgetown to haunt record stores and to visit a punk boutique called Commander Salamander.  Commander’s as we called it was like our version of London’s Sex shop where the Sex Pistols were born.  More importantly, I would go to clubs like the Bayou, Desperado’s, Madam’s Organ, The Gentry, Columbia Station and the Psychedeli to see live rock n roll.  And oh yeah, there was a little club called the 9:30 Club.  Maybe you’ve heard of it…

The Nightclub 9:30 opened on May 8, 1980 at 930 F Street, NW in Washington, D.C.  The club has since relocated and remains a world-renowned establishment, but nothing will ever compare to the old 9:30.  It’s famous for its smell, it’s poorly placed column right in front of the stage, its horrible bathrooms and its long entrance hallway.  But it’s mostly famous for the bands that played there, and I saw quite a few of them.

You could go toward the back bar and find a place to sit, but for a view of the stage you had to stand.  But there was this huge window to the left of the stage.  If you got there early you could get the windowsill.  I like to stand at shows, not sit.  But the thing is, if you got the windowsill, you could sit and have a beer, and when the band came on, you could stand on the sill and see over everyone.  It was 20 feet from the stage, it was a perfect view.  I used to love to get that spot at the club.  Here are a baker’s dozen of shows I saw from the windowsill that have some great rock n roll history, at least in my opinion.  

1.     Tommy Keene with R.E.M.  Yep, that would be R.E.M. from Athens, GA opening for local power pop hero Tommy Keene (who I still like better than R.E.M.).  When I saw this show, I didn’t even know who R.E.M. was.  They had just recently cemented their name, claiming the rights to it from a local D.C. band who was also known as R.E.M.  According to the 9:30 Club book that is now out, the two bands agreed to each play a set and the best band would keep the name.  The D.C. version heard the boys from Athens play and they knew they were going to need a new name.  They became Egoslavia (ughh, they definitely lost big time on that one).  Anyway, I saw a great show by R.E.M. early in their career, and Tommy Keene was always spectacular.

2.    The Go Go's. You can laugh if you’re not a fan, but the Go Go’s started out punk, and even though ‘Beauty and the Beat’ had just been released when I saw this show, they were still pretty edgy and I really liked them.  Jane Wiedlin played a mean guitar, and she and Charlotte and Belinda were all looking great based on my view from the windowsill.


3.    The Professionals. This is one of my favorite bands all-time.  Steve Jones and Paul Cook were doing their best work with this post-Sex Pistols band.  These guys were heroes to me, so I’m just glad I saw them.  I do have to admit though, the show was so loud my ears were crackling and the music didn’t seem too crisp or clear.  Without a doubt, it was the loudest show I ever saw, period.

4.    Tru Fax & the Insaniacs with Jason & the Nashville Scorchers.  Tru Fax was a popular D.C. band that I loved.  I’m sure I saw them close to 30 times.  On this particular evening, the opening band was Jason & the Nashville Scorchers, before they later dropped the ‘Nashville’ and just went with Jason & the Scorchers.  They are one of my favorite bands now, but I had never heard of them at the time.  Their version of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” was so amazing that night, I can’t even describe it.  Warner Hodges on guitar was something special. 

5.    Johnny Thunders with Black Market Baby.  Black Market Baby were stalwarts of the D.C. punk scene and they made a perfect opening act- hard rockin’ and sloppy.  Johnny came out and played a great set of mostly Heartbreakers tunes, like “Born to Lose,” “Chinese Rocks,” and “One Track Mind.”  I’ve read so much about Johnny and his inability to hold it together when he was all strung out all the time, but on this night, Johnny Thunders was just fine in my eyes.


6.    Black Flag with S.O.A.  For those not versed in harD.C.ore, S.O.A. was State of Alert which was fronted by Henry Garfield.  Henry put on a show that was pretty impressive, at least as far as hardcore punk.  Black Flag came over from California and brought the West Coast punk penchant for violence with them.  Boots and chains were flying everywhere and blood was definitely spilled in the pit.  Legend had it that Black Flag was so impressed with Henry that they put him on the bus, he changed his name to Henry Rollins and became the lead vocalist for Black Flag that night.  That’s not actually true. He did go out to California to join Black Flag shortly after this show however and he did change his name.


7.    Mother Love Bone.  I forget who opened this show.  If you’re not familiar, Mother Love Bone was one of the rising bands from the Seattle grunge scene.  Their singer, Andrew Wood, was spectacular.  Unfortunately, he took his own life shortly after this show and was later replaced with Eddie Vedder.  The band became Pearl Jam and the rest, as they say, is history.  If you never listened to Mother Love Bone, check them out.  I so much prefer Andrew Wood.  I have never understood the love fest for Pearl Jam or Eddie Vedder.

8.    Simple Minds.  Early in their career, Simple Minds had a record called ‘Life in a Day.’  It was an excellent record.  Forget all the more pop styled hits you’ve heard, ‘Life in a Day’ was really good.  I don’t know what year it was, but on my birthday, my sister asked me what she could take me to do to celebrate.  So of course I said, “let’s go see Simple Minds.”  I’m really glad I did.  They were great, and it’s a memory I cherish, as I lost my sister way too early.  She had no idea who Simple Minds even were, but she was always game to try new things.


9.    Dead Boys with Obsessed.  You may or may not have ever heard of the Obsessed.  They later became a 3-piece doom metal band that absolutely sucked, but at this time they were fronted by Vance Bockis, who was one of my favorite punk/metal vocalists of all time prior to his death a couple of years ago.  With Vance in the band, they were astounding to watch, clearly taking influences from Iggy and from Stiv Bator.  I wonder if Stiv watched the openers on this night.  Anyway, it was Stiv and the Dead Boys.  That’s history being made as far as I’m concerned.

10.    X.  This was early X.  The Los Angeles record had just come out on Slash Records.  I couldn’t wait to see the band, because they seemed scary, dark and dangerous back then.  It was a great set. Exene got kicked and they had to quit playing for a minute while order was restored.  It was punk rock!


11.    Mother May I with Adam West and someone I don’t remember.  The 9:30 Club had a lot of nights where it was 3 bands for 3 bucks.  On this night, I discovered Mother May I, a band I love.  They got the major label deal, they made a record, they got dropped, they plugged on for awhile…  you know the story.  If you don’t know these guys, you should check them out.  Very comparable to Watershed, but they gave up way too soon.

12.    Dead Kennedys.  On tour supporting one of the greatest punk records ever, “Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables.”  Jello Biafra…  That’s all I need to say.


13.    The Dickies with Lou Miami & the Kozmetix.  There’s a long story behind this one, but I’ve gone on too long already.  The Dickies are just fantastic.  They played the theme song from the Banana Splits, which was my favorite TV show when I was little.  If you’re in my age bracket, you probably remember.

JCE

 

 

It's Been a Tough Month for this Tribe Fan - by Scott Goldberg

It’s been a tough month.  The World Series didn’t end the way I hoped.  Neither did the presidential election.  If I could choose to change the outcome of one, the Indians would be World Champs.  Call me irrational, a fanatic, or even unpatriotic, but I wanted this more.

As an Indians fan I go pretty far back.  Back to cavernous Municipal Stadium.  The only constant to today’s team is John Adams whacking his drum at the top of the centerfield bleachers.  Back then he was louder; perhaps it was because the sound reverberated off more hard surfaces as most of the time 68,000 or so seats were empty.

I go back to Charlie Spikes, No-Neck Williams, Frank Duffy, Buddy Bell, Super Joe Charbaneau, Rick Manning, Len Barker and Gaylord Perry.  Not a lot of Hall of Famers in that group.  I think Gaylord and his spitter might have snuck in?  I remember the Spring of 1987 getting the Sports Illustrated baseball preview issue with Cory Snyder and Joe Carter on the cover.  SI jinx at its finest.  Carter went on to be a World Series hero—for the Toronto Blue Jays and Cory faded away like so many promising players and teams before and after him.

And then we had the 90’s a baseball renaissance in Cleveland.  Beautiful new ballpark and so many great players fitting of the cathedral they now played in.  Thome, Ramirez, Belle, Baerga, Lofton and Omar.  And just enough strong starting pitching.  The only time I have witnessed a World Series game in person was Game 5 in Cleveland against the Braves.  Albert Belle of the corked bat and probably corked biceps took Greg Maddux deep in the first.  Eddie Murray stepped into the batter’s box next.  Maddux with his pinpoint control threw high and tight.  Murray didn’t like it and glared out at Maddux and Maddux glared right back.  Murray took a step toward the mound, both benches rose to the top step of the dugout.  Nothing more happened, but the moment was as electric as I have ever witnessed as a sports fan.  

Nothing provides more sustained tension than playoff baseball.  It is simply the best, unless your team is involved and then it is just a form of Chinese water torture—if that actually exists, if not it is just plain torture.  Like the 2016 Cubs, the 1995 Indians were down 3-1 and won Game 5 at home.  No one left Jacobs (now Progressive) Field at the end of the game.  We cheered and danced and then took the feeling and party to the streets.  The Indians headed back to Atlanta for the final two games.  But unlike the Cubs , we never got to a Game 7 as Atlanta closed out the series in Game 6.  Glavine pitched eight innings of one-hit baseball and the Tribe lost 1-0.

It wouldn’t take these Indians long to get back to the promised land.  I won’t spend a lot of time revisiting the 1997 World Series other than to say the Indians broke our hearts.  A strike and out away from being World Champs, Jose Mesa couldn’t close it out and the Indians fell in extra innings.  Omar publicly blames Mesa for losing that World Series.  I loved Omar—best fielding shortstop I ever saw.  But he threw a teammate (not a great guy, but a teammate nonetheless) under the bus.  Both Mesa and Omar eventually left the Indians.  And to Mesa’s credit every time he faced Omar after that he threw at him.  I didn’t blame him one bit.

A generation later, the Indians found themselves back in the World Series.  This time with fewer stars except for its manager against a team with an even more pathetic World Series history and drought.  America’s darlings and loveable losers, the Chicago Cubs.  After splitting the first two games in Cleveland, the Indians won the next two in Chicago.  Those fans waited generations to witness a World Series at Wrigley.  Tickets were being sold for the price of a pretty nice mid-sized sedan.  I guess there was some pent up demand in Chi-Town.  And to see their sullen faces as the Tribe took Games 3 and 4 and a commanding 3-1 lead in the Series, was pure joy.  I had no sympathy for them.  This was our time—my time—to finally celebrate a World Series.

Yeah, yeah, I know the Cavs just won.  I love what LeBron has done for Cleveland, but this is different.  This is bigger.  This is Baseball.  It would be great to win the Series in Cleveland in front of its long-suffering fans in our own beautiful park.  But you win a World Series where and when you can.  In all sports and all elections for that matter, you let up at your own peril.  It is better to step on your opponents neck, give them no chance or thought that the outcome can be any different, because if you give them a glimmer of hope---shit happens.

As I replay the Series in my mind, one at bat stands out.  Game 5, eighth inning Indians down 3-2.  Chapman is on the mound with one out and Jason Kipnis at the plate.  Chapman had already gotten the last two outs in the seventh.  Rajai Davis—we wouldn’t know how clutch Rajai was until Game 7-- had singled ahead of Kipnis in the eighth.  Chapman’s first two pitches were close, but both called balls.  Rajai advanced to second with a steal on one of those pitches.  Tying run on second, one out, 2-0 count.  Chapman’s next two pitches were wildly outside, but inexplicably Kipnis swung at both.  Instead of walking, tightening the screws against Chapman with Lindor and Napoli to follow, the count is 2-2.  Kipnis continues to battle.  The count eventually goes full.  Kipnis fouls out.  Chapman settles back in and gets the next four outs with little more drama and gets an eight out, 2 2/3 inning save.  Chapman saved not just the game, but the Cubs season.
        

Back to Cleveland for Games 6 and 7.  If asked after Game 2 any Cleveland fan would have gladly taken coming back to Cleveland up 3-2.  But we are Cleveland fans and there was an uneasiness, even though we had home field advantage.  Except it wasn’t an advantage.  Using the DH was a distinct advantage for the Cubs.  But complaining about the DH or even that home field was decided by an exhibition game in July (coincidently the winning pitcher of which happened to be the Indians starting pitcher in Games 1, 4 and 7 of this World Series), is like complaining about the electoral college after your candidate loses.  Dem’s da rules.

Even worse was the fact that Progressive Field was not filled with just rabid Indians fans.  But somehow a good third of the crowd happened to rooting loudly for the Cubbies.  By Games 6 and 7 you could no longer trade in your well-appointed Toyota Camry for a pair of good seats.   Cubs fans had raised the ante, now you were looking at a year’s tuition at a pretty fine academic institution in order to get a pair of tix.  Cubs fans threw around cash and bought up the best seats acting like a greedy New York real estate developer.

The Cubs started hitting when they got back to Cleveland.  Zobrist may have been MVP of the Series, but it was Bryant and Rizzo who the Indians feared.  And rightfully so.  Rizzo—something about him reminds me of Phil Mickelson.  They both have just a hint of dimples that might be more pronounced if their faces were a little thinner.  Both have this smirk that seems to say-- even when things are going bad—I am so much better off than you it really doesn’t matter.

The Tribe moved most of its team to the right side of second base when Rizzo batted.  Yet, when he wasn’t sending laser foul balls that made fans scatter, the fair balls improbably reached the outfield wall slicing between all those well-placed defenders, the way a pinball slides between your flippers before disappearing down that hole.  To my eye, Kris Bryant was the Cubs MVP.  His stats may not bear that out, but to me his hits and home runs either set the tone for the game or slammed the door shut on any hope the Indians had for a comeback.  He did make some errors, but as the last ball of the Series rolled his way, you could see in his face that the Cubs were World Champs.  The bastard was smiling even before the ball met his glove.  As I watched my hopes fade, I knew this was not a guy about to choke.  And he didn’t.      

Other than that Game 5 at bat, I don’t look back at the Series with regret.  We didn’t get out-managed, or out-played, or out-pitched.  Almost everyone did their job.  Some exceeded expectations—Rajai Davis’ game tying homer sent me sprinting around the house in which all other inhabitants had gone peacefully to sleep.  “He tied the game, he tied it up,” I screamed in utter disbelief.

Some disappointed. Mike Napoli didn’t hit, but that happens.  I know Tyler Naquin is only a rookie, but he is also a big league (bigly?) outfielder.  Go get the ball and take charge. That is your job in centerfield.  Game 7 was too big for him.  I hope he will have a chance to redeem himself, but he was the Game 7 goat and I mean that in the old-school sense.  Just a few thoughts on Francisco Lindor.  Omar Vizquel is certainly the best Indians shortstop of my lifetime and perhaps a Hall of Famer soon.  But if I could have the 2016 Lindor or Omar in his prime, I choose Lindor.  He’s no Omar in the field, but he is a Gold Glover.  And the kid can hit.  Solid at bat after solid at bat all Series.  But all that pales in relation to his temperament.  I know we have all heard more than we care to about temperament.  But Francisco plays with such joy, his smile is so infectious, he just pulls you in.  He keeps his teammates loose; he is a reminder that this is just a game and it’s supposed to be fun.  He gets thrown out trying to steal second and he smiles as if to say—“you got me, but I’ll be back.”  He jokes with the Cubs at second base like it’s a spring training game.  And even though I have been waiting a lifetime to win this thing, the kid puts things in perspective.  He enjoyed every minute of it---I love and envy him for it.

In four years we will have another election.  I hope by then I will view those with opposing perspectives from my own with the same good will that Francisco Lindor brings to the ballpark every day.  I hope by then, the Indians will have won a World Series, but I am a Cleveland sports fan and am prepared for disappointment.  In the meantime, I’ll root for our Country and President Trump (that is hard to type) to do well.  But the truth is he is not a likeable guy.  Trump is a thin-skinned jerk—in short, he is a nasty man.  I hope he proves me wrong and does great things for our Country.  He is everything our current President is not.  And for those who voted for him that may be the point.  

It’s been a tough month.  I am ready to move on.  The Browns have me thinking about spring training and the start of next season.  Now if Brantley is healthy and they get another bat and the pitching holds up… this could be the year.

Buggy Eyes and a Big Butt, part sixteen, Movies 288-314

Pencilstorm contributor Rob Braithwaite is watching 366 movies this year, so you don't have to: Here is part thirteen of his continuing 2016 rundown......

Q&A Intro, 1-17, 18-36, 37-51, 52-66, 67-74, 75-87, 88-103, 104-120, 121-131, 132-152, 153-173, 174-187, 188-221, 222-255, 256-287, 288-314, 315-341, 342-366, Index

Ratings key:
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ = I can’t see giving anything that I’ve seen once five stars
★ ★ ★ ★ = get to the theater / move it up in your queue
★ ★ ★ = “three stars is a recommendation” - The Empire [magazine] Podcast
★ ★ = if the remote is too far away, you could do worse
★ = if the remote is too far away, get someone to move it closer then throw it at the TV

288
Hateship Loveship (2013) ★ ★ ★
stars: Kristen Wiig, Guy Pearce, Haliee Steinfeld
director: Liza Johnson

Sabitha plays the part of evil Cyrano de Bergerac between her addict father and new housekeeper.

This has to be the most awkward love story I’ve ever seen. It’s sweet in its way. A fairy tale for misfits.

Wear your patient pants. The movie is in no hurry.

double feature pairing: You Can Count on Me

289
The Blob (1988) ★ ★ ★
stars: Shawnee Smith, Kevin Dillon, Donovan Leitch Jr
director: Chuck Russell

A blob of stuff eats its way through a small town.

*sigh* hooray. the government is here. we are saved.

Some impressive special effects mix with ones that remind you of the original.

double feature pairing: The Absent Minded Professor

290
Slums of Beverly Hills (1998) ★ ★ ★.5
stars: Natasha Lyonne, Alan Arkin, Marisa Tomei
writer/director: Tamara Jenkins

Vivian is in desperate need of a mother figure. Thanks to her scheming father, her older cousin comes to live with them and her two brothers.

I liked it a lot.

double feature pairing: Little Miss Sunshine

291
Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015) ★ ★ ★
stars: Lin Shaye, Stefanie Scott, Dermot Mulroney
director: Leigh Whannell

It’s the story we all wanted! How did that amazing ghost busting team from Insidious 1 come together?

[LOUD NOISE]

This is a pretty typical demon possession tale. [LOUD NOISE] Insidious has learned a lesson from The Conjuring. The victim isn’t the series thread; it’s the medium. The next movie can be about anyone anywhere. As long as you get Lin Shaye and the other two, Insidious can go forever.

Anyway, the movie is fine. Much better then the second one. But it relies too much on jump scares instead of creating actual horror or suspense.

double feature pairing: Rear Window

[LOUD NOISE]

292
Night Owls (2015) ★ ★.5
stars: Rosa Salazar, Adam Pally, Rob Huebel
director: Charles Hood

A one-night stand becomes an all-night nightmare for Kevin when he learns that the girl is his boss’s jilted mistress.

The power dynamic shifts in interesting ways. The leads are really good. …uh, I rated this when I saw it. Now that I’m writing about it weeks later I can’t remember why I edged it just under a recommendation.

[LOUD NOISE]

Maybe it was for one too many contrivances. Maybe because I thought it was fine but not good enough. Well, I’m sure it was for a reason.

watch The Apartment instead

293
Submarine (2010) ★ ★ ★.5
stars: Craig Roberts, Yasmin Paige, Paddy Considine
director: Richard Ayoade

Oliver navigates his first romantic relationship as his parents’ marriage is threatened.

Humorous and highly enjoyable. The original songs were written by Alex Turner, lead singer of Arctic Monkeys.

double feature paring: Magnolia

294
Wild Bill (1995) ★ ★ ★
stars: Jeff Bridges, Ellen Barkin, David Arquette
director: Walter Hill

After a life of legend, Wild Bill Hickok settles in Deadwood.

The movie is bookended by one of my most hated narrative devices: folks ‘memberin’ things by a grave. To make it even worse, it sets up an unsure color pattern. The current scenes are in black and white. When folks get to spinnin’ a yarn, you’d think color’s a’comin’. Nope. Still black and white. It’s only when it flash forwards from the flashback, but not so far as to return to the grave site, does it become color. Take out the unnecessary bookends and there isn’t a problem.

One of the source materials was Thomas Babe’s play Fathers and Sons. The last third feels like a play. It’s unique for the genre.

double feature paring: Drugstore Cowboy

295
The Take (2016) ★ ★.5
stars: Idris Elba, Richard Madden, Charlotte Le Bon
director: James Watkins

A CIA agent teams up with a pickpocket to thwart a terrorist attack in France.

A very familiar action thriller that doesn’t ask much from itself or the viewer.

watch Die Hard with a Vengeance instead

296
The Meddler (2015) ★ ★ ★
stars: Susan Sarandon, Rose Byrne, J.K. Simmons
director: Lorene Scafaria

Marnie moves to L.A. after her husband dies to be closer to her daughter. A little too close for her daughter’s taste.

Grieving takes many forms. Some busy themselves with others. Some need time to breathe on their own.

There is a conversation that hilariously takes a shot at my biggest pet peeve in the movie world: Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, the needless title change to make all the Indiana Jones movies, I don’t know, start with “Indiana Jones”? True, the title remains the same within the movie — only the video cases were changed from Raiders of the Lost Ark to a title that incorrectly separates Indy from the other raiders — but it still burns my bacon when I see it. (and I’ve gotten over the Star Wars prequels.)

double feature pairing: Mother

297
Trumbo (2015) ★ ★ ★.5
stars: Bryan Cranston, Diane Lane, Helen Mirren
director: Jay Roach

Screenwriter Dalton Trumbo is arrested for being a Communist then blacklisted from working for 10 years.

I originally stayed away from this because of the trailer. A movie about the movies in time for Oscar consideration with Bryan Cranston affecting a distracting accent? Pass. I was wrong. It’s well done despite too many speeches belaboring the point in the end. And that accent? Well, every other person is talking funny so it isn’t that distracting.

double feature pairing: Matinee

298
Rio Bravo (1959) ★ ★ ★.5
stars: John Wayne, Dean Martin, Ricky Nelson
director: Howard Hawks

Bad guys aim to break their fellow bad guy out of jail. The sheriff is set against it. Luckily a drunk, an old man and a teen idol have his back.

Angie Dickinson, once again, plays “the girl” with very little consequence to the story. It’s a classic western in that respect and many others.

double feature paring: Assault on Precinct 13

299
Drillbit Taylor (2008) ★ ★ ★
stars: Owen Wilson, Nate Hartly, Troy Gentile
director: Steven Brill

Three high school freshmen post an add for a bodyguard to protect them from bullies.

It’s a comfortable formulaic comedy, perfect for those days when you need something light and undemanding.  There’s a nice My Bodyguard reference, and I wonder how many people got it.

double feature pairing: The Professional

300
The American Friend (1977) ★ ★ ★.5
stars: Bruno Ganz, Dennis Hopper, Lisa Kreuzer
director: Wim Wenders

An American dealer of forged art ropes a German frame maker into the world of contract killing.

This isn’t the non-stop pulse pounder the American remake would have been. It’s much more delicate but not without tension.

I never noticed how alike Dennis Hopper and Owen Wilson could be. Maybe because I watched Drillbit Taylor before this. Hopper’s cowboy hat and his existentially somber mood reminded me of Wilson in The Royal Tennenbaums.

double feature paring: The Matador

301
Clifford (1994) ★ ★
stars: Martin Short, Charles Grodin, Mary Steenburgen
director: Paul Flaherty

A 10 year-old problem child is dumped on his uncle to handle.

Martin Short makes me laugh. So does Charles Grodin. Short’s kid schtick is wasted on a bad script. And Grodin is phoning in a terrible Charles Grodin impression. All the yelling…

watch Cabin Boy instead

302
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) ★ ★ ★
stars: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Colin Farrell
director: David Yates

Magic, magic everywhere! oh, and the wonder!

I liked it more than any of the Harry Potter movies*.

*not a big fan of the Harry Potter movies.

double feature paring: The Manchurian Candidate

303
Monster (2003) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Charlize Theron, Christina Ricci, Bruce Dern
writer/director: Patty Jenkins

The dramatization of Aileen Wuornos’ murder spree is handled with compassion and understanding without excusing her murderous actions.

double feature pairing: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

304
The Counterfeiters (2007) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Karl Markovics, August Diehl, Devid Striesow
director: Stefan Ruzowitzky

Imprisoned in a German concentration camp, a Jewish forger is enlisted for Operation: Bernhard, which became the largest money counterfeiting operation in history.

An incredible story that explores the line between resistance and survival.

double feature pairing: To Live and Die in L.A.

305
War Dogs (2016) ★ ★ ★.5
stars: Miles Teller, Jonah Hill, Bradley Cooper
director: Todd Phillips

A couple of bros become gun brokers for the U.S. government.

The trailer leans heavy on the humor element. The overall tone is much more dramatic. The narration and editing is under the influence of Goodfellas.

double feature pairing: The Wolf of Wall Street

306
Ratcatcher (1999) ★ ★ ★.5
stars: William Eadie, Mandy Matthews, Tommy Flanagan
writer/director: Lynne Ramsay

A slice-of-life tale during Glasgow’s garbage strike in 1973. James tries to make the best of his diseased environment and dreams of something better.

Absolutely heartbreaking.

double feature pairing: Mousehunt

307
Sour Grapes (2016) ★ ★.5
stars: wine snobs, con men, federal agents
directors: Reuben Atlas, Jerry Rothwell

A bunch of snooty ascots are swindled by a con man selling fake wine.

Wine snobs are the most insufferable people. Maybe I mock what I don’t care about. But, good god, they are the worst.

The movie does a good job of showing how con man Rudy Kurniawan charmed people and the system into accepting his forgeries. However, it doesn’t seem to have a strong grasp on how his operation worked. Connections are made, but the presentation isn’t confident.

watch My Kid Could Paint That instead

308
The Frontier (2015) ★ ★.5
stars: Jocelin Donahue, Jim Beaver, Kelly Lynch
director: Oren Shai

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: two crime noir stories walk into a diner…

Both are played effectively suspenseful in the beginning. Then there are questionable events. Then the contrivances become too much to overlook. Still, it was almost great.

watch Blood Simple instead

309
Evolution (2015) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Max Brebant, Roxane Duran, Julie-Marie Parmentier
director: Lucile Hadzihalilovic

There is an island of women and preteen boys.

I have no other way of describing the plot that wouldn’t ruin your discovery of a story that could be categorized as science fiction, maybe even biological horror. It’s largely absent of dialogue, an incredible display of visual storytelling. If there was a loop of the first several minutes, I don’t think I’d have another anxious day in my life.

double feature pairing: Under the Skin

310
Central Intelligence (2016) ★ ★ ★
stars: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Amy Ryan
director: Rawson Marshall Thurber

Old schoolmates reunite for some secret agent shenanigans.

Funny is as The Rock and Kevin Hart does.

double feature pairing: The Nude Bomb

311
After the Wedding (2006) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Mads Mikkelsen, Sidse Babett Knudsen, Rolf Lassgård
director: Susanne Bier

Jacob manages a struggling orphanage in India. He travels to Denmark to meet a potential investor. He couldn’t imagine how his life is about to change.

Wonderfully acted. Emotionally complex.

double feature pairing: The Deer Hunter

312
The Fan (1981) ★ ★.5
stars: Lauren Bacall, Michael Biehn, James Garner
director: Ed Bianchi

There’s a guy who likes a Broadway actress a little too much. Muderously too much.

Good for its day. But what captured my attention was the deranged fan’s letter writing campaign. He’d write letters. Her secretary would respond in kind, until she ignores them. The more agitated he became, the more his understanding of how the post office works would slip away. One letter said that if he didn’t receive a response by tomorrow… Tomorrow? So he mails it that day. And let’s say the letter is received the next day, aka: tomorrow. The best scenario is that the secretary isn’t swamped and could immediately respond. If she gets that letter posted in time, and the New York City postal service can get a regular letter delivered next day… we’re talking the day after tomorrow, at best! Sometimes when you go crazy, reason goes with you.

watch Play Misty for Me instead

313
Allied (2016) ★ ★
stars: Brad Pitt, Marion Cotillard, Jared Harris
director: Robert Zemeckis

Two spies fall in love during World War Two. One spy might be a spy.

If you’ve seen the trailer, or read those two lines, there is nothing in this movie to see but the resolution. And even that isn’t interesting.

watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith instead

314
The Edge of Seventeen (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★
stars: Haliee Steinfeld, Haley Lu Richardson, Blake Jenner
writer/director: Kelly Fremon Craig

A socially awkward teen spins a little more out of control when her only friend starts dating her bother.

It’s great.

double feature pairing: Wonder Boys

Counters:
314/366 movies (21 movies off pace)
46/52 movies directed by women

TOP THREE

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Baver 18-6 ATS Picking Bucks Past Two Years. How Does He See OSU v Mich?

Colin: Where does this rank in the all-time OSU v Michigan match-ups?

Baver: The Ten Year War saw unbeaten, untied OSU & UM teams face each other in ‘70, ‘73, and ‘75. Then you had the #1 vs #2 match-up of unbeatens in 2006. Does it rank up there with those games? Ask me after we know the outcome of The Game tomorrow, LOL.

Colin: What is the best-case scenario for Ohio State in this game?

Baver: 1) Ideal weather conditions; 2) JT Barrett clicking with his WR’s and getting Ohio State’s vertical passing game in gear. 3) The OSU defense completely shutting down De’Veon Smith and Chris Evans; thus, leaving it up to O’Korn or Speight having to beat Ohio State, the nation’s leader in pass defense efficiency, through the air. 4) Mike Weber letting loose.

Colin: What is the worst-case scenario for the Buckeyes?

Baver: 1) The weather unexpectedly turning bad; 2) UM’s offense hitting the Bucks with several big plays, similar to the way Sparty did this past Saturday; 3) Jabrill Peppers having a Charles Woodson kind of game. 4) The turnover margin favoring Michigan to the tune of +2 or better. 

Colin: What is your best guess, realistic scenario for this game?

Baver: With expected mild November weather, I think the Buckeye offense will probably have more success against the vaunted UM defense than most are expecting. I think JT bounces back, and throws the ball much better tomorrow. And I think it will be tough sledding for a UM offense that will likely be missing Wilton Speight. But I think we’ll see a tight game headed into the 4th quarter. Then, I foresee Urban Meyer and this Buckeye team doing what they usually do in tight games….making big plays late and getting it done.

Colin: Which Wolverine should the Buckeyes fear?

Baver: Buckeye fans are probably sick of hearing this, but it’s Jabrill Peppers, far and away.  Is he Heisman-worthy? Probably not, but if Michigan is to break the Buckeye jinx, he will have a big part in the upset. I think he worries me most on punt returns, but he also has 16 tackles for losses on the season, which is pretty crazy.

Colin: Which Buckeye should SCuM fear?

Baver: JT Barrett. Everybody and their brother and sister, myself included, has commented about his inaccuracy this year, and I am guessing UM will underestimate him. As I mentioned, the weather conditions for Saturday look to be mild for late November, and my guess is that JT brings it tomorrow…with his legs and his arm. If he does, Michigan does not win this game.

Colin: What is your favorite Dead Schembechler song?

Baver: “Chad Henne”, without a doubt. Seems like yesterday, the entire crowd at the Newport sang the backup vocals on that one in November 2006. Can’t believe it’s been 10 years. “I Hate Michigan” comes in at #2. Classics. 

Colin: Will you be watching any other games this weekend? And give us an update on your picks.

Baver:  Not a good year outside of Buckeye games (18-19-1 overall), but I continue to have the pulse on the Buckeyes. I’m 8-3 on the season, 18-6 over the last two seasons, and 26-12-1 picking OSU games against the spread over the last three seasons. I have spent the whole week obsessing about The Game and haven’t dove into Vegas spreads yet on any other game. I’d probably stay away from betting this one, but having to make a call, I’ll take the Bucks laying the 6 ½. Urban lives for big games and I stopped doubting him in marquee matchups after the Bama upset in the 2014 Playoff. The call: Ohio State 27 Michigan 17.  

Big Vin Vader Previews and Answers your WWE Survivor Series Questions

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1) So explain who is battling and why is this different than previous Survivor Series?

   The majority of the matches are the traditional Survivor Series Elimination matches.  This year round things are different due to the brand split, which pits the wrestlers on RAW against the SmackDown roster.  First up are the men’s teams, with Kevin Owens, Seth Rollins, Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, and Roman Reigns representing RAW.  Team SmackDown is composed of AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, and Shane McMahon.  
    The women’s teams are: Charlotte, Bayley, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks, and Alicia Fox representing RAW.  SmackDown has Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, Nikki Bella, Naomi and Carmella in its corner.
    The final Elimination match is the Tag Teams.  RAW has The New Day, Gallows & Anderson, Sheamus & Cesaro, Enzo & Cass, and the Shining Stars.  SmackDown’s team features American Alpha, Rhyno & Heath Slater, The Hype Bros, Breezango, and the Usos.
    The singles matches sound even more interesting, with Brian Kendrick (RAW) defending the Cruiserweight title against Kalisto (SmackDown).  SmackDown’s The Miz is set to defend his recently-regained Intercontinental belt against RAW’s Sami Zayn.  And the big marquee match, of course, is Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar.
    This year’s Survivor Series is different for a number of reasons.  Mainly, the pitting of each brand against one another stands out.  WWE has been playing up some imagined rivalry between the two programs, but with the realization of these matches, things are finally being demonstrated physically.  There’s also the notability of Goldberg’s return to the WWE for the first time in over a decade, which places even higher stakes on his rematch with Brock Lesnar.  The fact that each brand has a title on the line, and could lose a belt to their rival brand is pretty significant.  Also, the whole thing is scheduled for four hours, which is usually reserved for the Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, and Summer Slam. 


2) What is at stake for each team and some of the individuals?


    The biggest stakes are the bragging rights/supposed superiority of one brand over the other.  Interestingly, no world or universal titles are at stake on the card, which keeps the focus on the RAW vs. SmackDown rivalry rather than any brand-specific contenders to titles.  This whole idea finally gives some weight to the idea that the brands are in competition, and are physically settling the matter in a ring.  Also worth considering is the total shaking up of the face-heel dynamic achieved by pitting oppositely-aligned rivals (especially Sasha and Charlotte) on the same teams in the name of brand representation.  We’ve seen conflicts between team members in the past, and now that sworn rivals are forced to cooperate against a supposedly common foe, it’ll be interesting to see how the wrestlers work together.
    The biggest stakes, however, rest on the singles matches.  Firstly, the Cruiserweight and Intercontinental titles stand a chance of switching brands, which could alter each’s program’s roster and overall presentation.  The Miz winning back the IC belt was a surprise, and it seems like they really want to keep it on him.  However, RAW wouldn’t be undeserving of the title, and Sami Zayn is exactly the type of performer who would benefit from the win.  Zayn is incredible in the ring, and is exactly the type of wrestler the belt used to help: not main event status, but an impressive mid-card worker.  Plus, he hasn’t won any titles since making it to the main roster, which stands at odds with his NXT credentials.
    The Cruiserweight match is similar, especially with the threat of the title changing brands.  There was debate that the division should have started on SmackDown, and that’s hard to argue with, given the back-seat treatment it’s been given on RAW.  This would be a good opportunity to switch things up and give the cruiserweights the chance to shine.  SmackDown has the thinner roster of the two brands, so it would be a wise move overall to move things over to them.
    Goldberg vs. Lesnar is a mixed bag.  Goldberg’s return has been teased for months, and anytime Lesnar gets in the ring the company makes a huge deal out of it.  So this is actually a huge marquee match.  The problems lie in its build-up, which has only been a few weeks.  They could have taken time to ratchet up the anticipation, but a quick payoff seems more in line.  Also, their previous match at Wrestlemania XX was abysmal (words really can’t sum it up), so you have to wonder how they’ll handle that knowledge.  It’s a huge draw, and should be worth watching, but something just doesn’t feel right about the whole thing, especially if this is a one-off for Goldberg as has been rumored.


3) Will this have any impact on the Wrestlemania Card? 


    The build to Wrestlemania has definitely already started, and there are a number of things to pay attention to here.  First is the Undertaker’s return on the SmackDown go-home show, which definitely starts the build to his next opponent (if he’s to be featured at all).  Plus, there’s the chance that he’ll make an appearance at the PPV Sunday.
    There are also rumors that the company is planning to kick a major storyline into motion at Survivor Series, which undoubtedly seems like a nod to the biggest event of the year.  People have been saying that Lesnar’s Wrestlemania opponent has been locked-in for some time, so maybe we’ll finally get an inkling of who that specifically is.  Maybe Goldberg’s return will be revealed as more than a one-time thing, and that potential Undertaker match could take place.
    If either the Crusierweight or IC belt were to change hands, it seems likely that a long-term rivalry between brands to regain their “rightful” property would be set in motion.  What better place to settle that dispute than at Wrestlemania?
    Less concrete is the idea that among the brand-specific teams there’s likely to be continuing animosity.  So any mistake or wrong move could set a new feud into motion or prolong a current one, possibly into the Wrestlemania season.