Getting Crafty on Pencilstorm - by JCE

I am not really a crafty person (but I do like craft beers, if that counts). I’m not an artist by any means.  Even if I was, I have a high stress job, a beautiful family and I love rock n roll, sports, skateboards, and - did I mention - beer?  Who has time for arts & crafts?  Apparently, I do.
One day while delivering my trash to our local solid waste transfer station, otherwise known as the dump, I hurled a bag into the dumpster and noticed two well-used but perfectly good skateboards amongst all that trash.  I pulled them out and tossed in them in my Jeep for no particular reason, other than I like skateboards.  A few months later I ended up making some shelves out of them for a room in my basement where I keep my collection of about 100 vintage skateboards. I mentioned this skateboard shelf project to the guy that operates the solid waste transfer station and he agreed to ask his staff to start saving all of the discarded skateboards that end up there.  So now, I had achieved a supply line of skateboards to recycle.  I came up with the idea of combining two things I love - skateboards and beer - in order to start making….Birdhouses.  Yep, you read that right.  I’m making birdhouses out of old skateboards and craft beer bottle caps.  The supply line of skateboards is hit  miss, but the beer caps I have completely covered, no problem.  I build these in my basement with music blasting, so I’m really working with three things I love.

I built the first one in a pretty plain style, I left it really rustic with the old skateboard graphics and then shingled the roof with beer caps.  It turned out like this:
 

THE ORIGINAL

The second one was supposed to look less like a house and more like a shed.  During the construction process I took a beer break and discovered a brand new, fully-sealed beer bottle in my six pack that was totally empty!  It was a terrible tragedy, but I took it as a sign and decided to incorporate it into my birdhouse as a smokestack.  The front entrance got some spray paint as well.  Here’s birdhouse number two:
 

THE SMOKESTACK


My third birdhouse was inspired by the idea of a beach shack, or a tiki hut.  It turned out like this:

THE BEACH SHACK
  

Given that I now had three different models, I built two more as gifts, one as a Christmas present for my father-in-law (the man has everything, but he didn’t have a handmade recycled skateboard-beer cap birdhouse!) and another one as a birthday present for my brother-in-law’s girlfriend.  I’m thinking these are getting a little better as I go…  and there’s more and more spray paint involved.

FATHER-IN-LAW CHRISTMAS

BIRTHDAY PRESENT

So at this point, I think I’m developing a hobby.  I don’t think I’m doing too badly for a guy who has a 1970’s era jigsaw, some sand paper, a rechargeable drill, a hammer, a screwdriver and not much else to work with.  I don’t have a table saw or anything to cut any fancy angles.  The latest effort was made especially for my daughter at her request.  She’s a rocker, so I tried to give it some heavy metal flare with a flaming roof design.  It looks like this:

HEAVY METAL

Thanks for reading my Arts and Crafts Edition of Pencilstorm.  If you like these things, let me know, but don’t ask me for one, because it takes me so long just to pound out one of these, I’d have to charge at least $100 each just to earn a few bucks an hour.  -  JCE
 

Ben Galli Answers Yours (and ours) 2nd Round NBA Questions

follow on twitter @bengalli33

The first round is officially over and it’s starting to get serious.  With some teams’ seasons over and some teams’ championship aspirations just starting (so you’re saying there’s a chance!), there’s a lot of questions to ask and I’m here to try and answer them.  These are some real questions from some real people with some real concerns.

1. Russell Westbrook and his triple double stats seem to be a lock for the MVP. However a quick comparison of the first round of NBA playoffs is rather disturbing for fans of Russ and his gaudy numbers.

First round: LeBron was 50-92 from the floor. Russell was 59-152. It took him 60 extra shots to make 9 more buckets. It's even worse from beyond the arc where Westbrook needed 29 extra shots to get just 4 more triples than LeBron.

So my question is:
Does Russell Westbrook suck?
Should OKC be excited or terrified if Westbrook wants to sign a long term extension?
Would any top player want to be teamed with Westbrook?

- Colin G. (no relation to Ali G.)

Russell Westbrook does not suck.  For one, that's a comparison to the best player in the world who has a lot more help and two, who doesn't have to take very difficult shots (or a lot of them) to give his team a chance.  OKC should be super excited that they were able to extend Russ in the first place and should be so happy if he signs a longer term deal that they should look in the mirror and ask themselves if they really deserve it.  

There’s no indication that Russell’s not a team guy so I don’t think other stars will have a problem but there is the question of fit on the team.  Russell is going to control the ball.  If a star/superstar feels they need the ball in their hands to truly play their game, then playing with Westbrook will probably be a negative.  

2. Any hope the Cavs can play good enough defense going forward? It's been pretty ragged.
Don't those dopey OKC fans just want someone like Westbrook that they can see on Sportscenter?
Would the Sonics have won their second NBA title by now had those thieves not stolen my team and taken it to the middle of a God damned oil field?
When David Stern dies will he go to hell?

- Brian P. (allegedly no relation to Master P.)

I'm taking a wait and see approach on the Cavs improving their defense.  Facing the Raptors will be a nice test for that aspect of the Cavs that's been their biggest question mark going into the season. These teams know each other and we'll get a better idea of the Cavs chances during this series.

I think the Sonics would have a better ownership group (well, maybe not the one that sold the team from out under the fans and the city) which would have led to putting a bigger priority on winning chips as opposed to making money (hello Clay Bennett).  They would have done what they needed to do to re-sign James Harden.  Harden wouldn’t blossom into a top 5 player like he has now on his own team, but he would be the number 3 (arguably number 2) on one of the all time big 3’s in NBA history.  After David Stern super unfairly nixed the Chris Paul to the Lakers trade, I would simply wish him well wherever he ends up in the afterlife and just sip my cup of tea.

3. Are Cp3 , Deangelo, P. George, Ingram and t.moz good enough to bring a title back to the purple and gold?
Are the thunder a top 3 seed with Blake Griffin?
You get one of these 2 players moving forward: Devin Booker or Lonzo Ball, who's it gonna be?

- Big $, (larger cousin to small money)

To respond to the first 2, the West is loaded. In that Lakers lineup (which is very possible by the way), there are 2 superstars and 2 guys that have disappointed a little but still have very high ceilings.  If Russell and Ingram develop to 75% of their potential, these Lakers are going to be nasty.  But they won’t be nasty next season. It’s going to take a couple years with this lineup to really contend for a title.

It’ll matchup nicely with the Warriors not being able to afford their big 4 and LeBron getting older (possibly).  I don’t know about that guy, Poncé de LeBron.  Blake by himself doesn’t make the Thunder a top 3 seed but if they upgrade Roberson and either do the same with Oladipo or he takes the next step, then I can see it.  They'd be right up there right away though.

To answer the 3rd query, no one likes Lavar Ball and he’s hurting his son’s chances of a nice endorsement deal.  But Lonzo’s talent will overcome the sins of the father and he will be highly drafted.  And Devin Booker is quickly becoming one of the best scorers in the NBA and he’s only like 20.  But in the NBA nowadays, the faithful are flocking to the Point God and because of Lonzo’s very high ceiling in that area, I’d take him over Booker.  Is it greater to be able to create one’s own shot or create shots for others?

4. James Harden - basketball genius or a cheating punk that would get beat down if he tried all that drawing a foul crap in a pick-up game?

- James B. (no relation to Lil B who has placed a curse on Harden)

I prefer the term savant for Harden.  A basketball genius wouldn’t completely avoid the 2nd most important aspect of the game.  But Harden’s a savant because he has not really developed his defense but man, oh man has he developed everything in his offensive repertoire.  His shooting, ball handling, ball fakes, and passing are top notch as is his ability to draw a foul.  

And yes, he would be the most annoying player ever to play a pick up game with.  He’d hold on to the ball forever, making 15-20 head fakes and then shoot up a shot while flopping midway through and calling foul, whether touched or not.  Those guys are douches.  I played with one in junior high.  One day he wore a shirt with the confederate flag on it that said “You wear your X, I’ll wear mine.”  Nuff said.

5. Who’s most relieved Dion is not in the playoffs?

- Mike Y. (perhaps as a proxy for Dion W.)

I’m going to say the 2 most recent teams he’s been on since he got to the Heat.  That would be the Cavs and the Thunder.  Probably the Thunder more so because they did not re-sign him and the lack of scoring talent around Russ is glaring.  I put the Cavs here because I can see Dion really getting up for games against them and tipping the scales in a game or two in his team’s favor (although it’s just as likely to be the other way around).

6. What are the chances Blake Griffin ends up in OKC next year?
Where does Carmelo end up next year?
If the Cavs don’t win the finals, who do you see them trying to add?

- Kovic M. (because everyone has Russian connections)

I don’t think there’s a very good chance Griffin ends up in OKC next year.  All indications are that he likes the big city limelight and the draw of home doesn’t draw him.  OKC would also have to work wonders to get the necessary cap space. I think the Lakers, Knicks, and Heat will be bandied about as possible destinations but this early into it, I feel he will re-sign with the Clips because he likes L.A.

At this point, most of us would be shocked if Melo stayed in Phil Jackson’s doghouse.  The Lakers per usual will be brought up but I think their new front office will stay away from this aging superstar.  I see a battle between Miami, Chicago, and the L.A. Clippers for Melo’s still considerable services.

As far who the Cavs will add, it will be another round of: Who wants to chase a ring with LeBron?  The Cavs will want to get younger and more defensive while still retaining shooters.  Here’s a list of the impending free agents for this summer.  (look at that top 3!).  I can see the Cavs having an interest in some lower-tier vets like Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Mason Plumlee, or James Johnson. If these players take pay cuts, I can see the Cavs going after Danilo Galinari and Wade or Vince Carter trying out a year here.  

And some final thoughts on the Conference Semi-Finals and the 1st Round:

I had Cavs over Pacers in 5 and they did better than that although too many of the games came down to the final seconds.  I hit on my Raptors over Bucks in 6 prediction but I hope you're as excited as I am for the Bucks next season.

I'd picked the Celtics to sweep the Bulls but you never know what Bulls team you're gonna get and they extended Boston to 6 after winning the first 2.  In my defense, Boston swept after that.  I picked Wizards in 5 but it was Wizards in 6 because you can never trust Atlanta.

Over in the best conference, I got 3 of the 4 series right.  I'd picked Clippers in 6 but Utah bebop skedaddled to a win in Game 7, granted Blake Griffin missed most of the series with an injured toe.  I'd picked the Warriors and Spurs in 5 but Golden State swept impressively while the Grizz grinded to 6 games before falling.  They weren't gonna get rooked. And in the most anticipated 1st round matchup, I'd picked Houston in 6 but they usually dominated and won in 5.

Raptors-Cavs:  I still don't think Cleveland is going to struggle much here and I see them winning in 5 or 6.  It went 6 last year in the Conference Finals but I'll say Cavs in 5 this time around.

Wizards-Celts:  In my preview, I said Washington would upset Boston in this round.  Boston had an impressive come from behind victory on Sunday to take game 1 of this series and the Wizards depth weaknesses were exploited especially after Markieff Morris went down.  I will say Wizards in 7 in what should be a very intense, back and forth series.

Warriors-Jazz - This Jazz team is well coached and on the up and up but they're not on G.S' level.  Warriors in 5.

Spurs-Rockets - This should be a fun series and Houston has a decent shot to upset.  But I pick Spurs in 6.

These playoffs have almost been overshadowed by the incredible post game pressers and this is the best one in years.  Because it worked! Coach David Fizdale of the Memphis Grizzlies:

Juliana Hatfield and Paul Westerberg are The I Don't Cares - by Colin Gawel

Juliana Hatfield is playing Ace of Cups Columbus, OH Sunday April Sunday April 30th at 6:30 pm. 

I don't know much about Juliana Hatfield except this:

1) Every woman I have ever dated (4) cranks up the song "My Sister" at some point after too many drinks. 

2) Everybody references how she was once the lead singer in the Blake Babies and that is very cool. 

3) Nobody has seen the Blake Babies or heard any of their music. 

Yet still, for no solid reason I've always had Hatfield filed under: Cool beyond reproach. Though if you cornered me in a bar, I couldn't defend that position. I would likely just put a finger in your chest and scream "What's that one song... uh.... you know the one.. SPIN THE BOTTLE? People love that. and..uh....WHAT ABOUT THE BLAKE BABIES? What is ya, ignorant? HUH? HUH?" 

It took until the year 2016 for my head to catch up with my heart. That was the year Juliana and Paul Westerberg formed the I Don't Cares and released the amazing garage rock opus Wild Stab.  Not many things hipper than teaming up with Paul Westerberg for a super underground, double secret probation, so cool we hope nobody ever hears it slab of semi low fi rock. The promotion of this record makes Guided By Voices look like Michael Jackson History.  At least GBV keeps the same name. Wild Stab is basically a side project of the Westerberg side project grandpaboy. Yes, a side project twice removed.

Except it's not that far removed. It's basically a grandpaboy record where Paulie gives about 50% more a shit than usual and that makes it pretty damn amazing. I can only assume the presence of Juliana Hatfield helped push him over the finish line. Bottom line, two major talents joining forces for a common cause. Rock n roll.  Dig this!

Minneapolis, Feb 2016.

Now I know five things about Juliana Hatfield:

4) She is a member of The I Don't Cares and I love that band.

5) I need to quit being such a lazy bastard and spend some quality time checking out her new record Pussycat and back catalog. Maybe even the Blake Babies. 

Colin Gawel plays in the band Watershed and you can read about him in the book Hitless Wonder. He was rushing to finish this story before Juliana's show at Ace of Cups. Just pretend Guided By Voices wrote the story. The flaws and laziness make it awesome. He also needs to wrap it up and finish mopping Colin's Coffee. 

"Dale" Westerberg gives a lesson on songwriting. ------ SUBSCRIBE to Pitchfork.tv: http://bit.ly/yK2Fbp ------ FOLLOW Pitchfork.tv on Twitter: http://bit.ly/KJ2PhP ------ For more videos from Pitchfork TV: http://bit.ly/M1lvs8 Like Pitchfork on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pitchforkmedia Check out Pitchfork on Tumblr: http://pitchfork.tumblr.com/ The I Don't Cares - "Whole Lotta Nothin'" (Official Music Video)

 

 

NCP Draft Preview: Big $ Attacks His TV if the Browns take Deshaun Watson

Did you know that Pencilstorm's own North Coast Posse are considered a top five twitter follow by the actual Cleveland Browns? Well they are. Follow their draft coverage @northcoastposse . I recently met up with Big $ at the India Oak bar to get his thoughts on the upcoming NFL Draft. - Colin Gawel

CG) Let's address the elephant in the room. Are there any quarterbacks in this draft that can be the next Bernie Kosar and if yes, how will the Browns land him? 

 Big $: My initial thought was a definitive no, then my phone kept autocorrecting Kosar to "Kizer" and I thought it may be a sign. Then I thought about D. Kizer's questionable mechanics and Ohio ties and how they are both Kosar -esque. Then I escaped the daydream and recalled the several N.D. games I witnessed and how there is very little chance Deshone Kizer is going to succeed in the NFL. Shooting for Bernie II may be a stretch, I'll take a freaking Eric Zeier at this point.

CG) Is Garrett the next JJ Watt or the next Courtney Brown?

 Big $: The player I most align Garrett with is Jadaveon Clowney. The one thing that separates Myles from Clowney is that he put up 10 more reps of 225 at the combine than the former Gamecock. Not only is this a plus as it relates to strength, it shows that he is ahead in dedication category as well. I have a hard time believing the ultra grizzled Gregg Williams is not going to demand the Aggie phenom at #1.

CG) What players and needs would you like to see addressed?

Big$: Real talk, there is not one position I think is a legit strength on the Browns at this time. They need to ensure that they get solid contributors across the board in at least the first 4 rounds

CG) What pick would make you throw something at the TV, hold your head in your hands and scream, "Oh my God, Nooooo"

Big $: I will literally attack my t.v, if I hear that the name  "Deshaun Watson" is coming to Cleveland. The dude has a historically low exit velocity. With the tight Windows and super heroes playing defense in the NFL coupled with the lack of anticipation needed to run the Clemson spread, he is a disaster waiting to happen.

CG) Vegas has started betting on the NFL draft. Seems like a blatant attempt to bring Browns fans to Vegas once a year since they don't make the Super Bowl junket. Does betting on the draft hold any interest for the North Coast Posse? 

 I would love, love, love to hunker down at a Vegas sportsbook and bet on picks all weekend. Who will have more first picks, Big10 or Pac12? Christian Mcaffrey pick over/under (8.5) etc etc etc. I'm salivating just thinking about how awesome this would be.

CG) If not in Vegas, where are you guys watching the draft and what will you be drinking?

Big $: Im waiting on an invite to the Trubisky party, but as a native west sider, I expect I'll get the cold shoulder from the Mentor crew. Thus, I'll probably crack some 4 string brews and kick back in my living room.

Big$ and K-Dubs the Soldier are the North Coast Posse. Browns beat writers for Pencilstorm.

Your Abbreviated C-Bus Record Store Day Preview

Record Store Day 2017 is upon us. Make plans now to throw some cash at some tasty new platters and support your local record store. Click here for the complete list of all Record Store Day releases.   Below are some choice picks from a handful vinyl junkies. 

Jim Johnson - Sales & Mktg. rep for AllianceEntertainment. Drummer.
Drive By Truckers-Electric Lady Sessions
Doors-Live at the Matrix '67
Ramones-76-79 Singles Box set
U2 picture disc of Red Hill Mining Town
NRBQ 50 year retrospective
Cars-Live at the Agora(Cleveland)
Dennis Wilson- double LP
Springsteen-Live Hammersmith '75 (4 LP set)

Brett Ruland (Spoonful Records)
Atomic Bomb Band (Performing The Music of William Onyeabor)
Shocking Blue - At Home
The Meters - A Message From The Meters
David Bowie - BOWPROMO
Luna - Penthouse Deluxe

Click here for Spoonful Records RSD event page.

Kyle Siegrist (Lost Weekend Records)
Fleetwood Mac - Alternate Mirage
Son House - Oberlin 1964
Grateful Dead - Vancouver 1966
The Cure - Acoustic Greatest Hits
Columbus Blood 4 Compilation

Scott Carr (Lost Weekend Records)
Cheap Trick - The Epic Archive Vol. 1
David Bowie - Cracker Actor (Love In Los Angeles 1974)
The Cars - Live At The Agora 1978
Big Star - Complete Third Vo. 3 - Final Masters
Ramones - '75 - '79 Singles Box

Lost Weekend has all kinds of cool RSD events going on including portable screen printing and live performances including Lydia Loveless. Click here for the Facebook event page. 

And don't forget to visit Used Kids Records. Click here for their list of events. 

Pat Dull - this year I am looking forward to the Cheap Trick 2x lp of *somewhat* rarities (many already on CD bonuses), and anything on Parlophone! In the future, the Steve Abini re-recording of In Color would be the perfect RSD release!  Also the legendary 2x lp version of Combat Rock (my least favorite Clash LP tho) called "Rat Patrol From Fort Bragg."