In Conclusion: The Movies of 2017 - by Rob Braithwaite

Watching 366 movies last year kind of broke me. I only watched 104 movies this year. Here are some highlights. [Law and Order noise]

OPERATION: DYNAMO

I don’t know how or why but there were three movies this year that featured the rescue from Dunkirk in some fashion, and they fit together so well that I suspect Kevin Feige orchestrated it all.

Darkest Hour

World War II is in its dawn when the unpopular English Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain is replaced by the not-as unpopular Winston Churchill. Churchill is almost immediately pressured to reach out to the Germans to ask for mercy. It is a concept so foreign to him that even his body rejects the notion of nothing short of victory in the face of the rising fascist force.

The movie has a few classic biopic trips when information and backstory need known. But there are stunning scenes and sequences. The makeup work on Gary Oldman is nothing but award winning, as is his performance.

The drama of Darkest Hour is political and personal. The rescue at Dunkirk is an element of the story, however it isn’t seen. Thankfully, there’s…

Dunkirk

I expected this to be a three hour movie in which the first hour was filled with clunky get-to-know-them-so-you-care setups. Nope. Just two hours of action and tension. It’s amazing. The dogfights especially.

Some didn’t like Dunkirk because there is too little context or they didn’t care enough about the people. I disagree. But, for context there’s Darkest Hour. For the personal touch, there’s…

Their Finest

England is very much the WWII mix now. Their troops are back on the front lines, and their citizens are adapting to routine air raids. Morale is low. Here come the movies to make everyone feel better!

The Ministry of Information decides to make a film about the heroic deed of two sisters who stole their father’s boat to rescue soldiers from the Dunkirk shore. Problem is, their boat never made it to Dunkirk. Catrin Cole, still seeing their heroism, fights to tell the sister’s story as it happened. And yet, the propaganda machine continues to distort the truth.

Maybe the most interesting thing about Their Finest is that as myth takes over the sister’s truth, the myth of the romantic comedy genre is exposed as propaganda itself.

Ignore the forgettable title. Ignore the terrible trailer. Ignore the awful poster. See this little gem.

THIS SEASON ON SUPERHERO SHOWDOWN

Franchise moviemaking has got me down more than ever. It all feels like TV programming now, especially superhero movies. I don't get event anticipation anymore. Still, because I do like them, I see them.

Never mind the comic book source, Logan is a great movie. I got a little misty at the end.

Wonder Woman proves DC can make a great superhero movie. After seeing Justice League, I’m convinced they can’t. I’m sure Wonder Woman succeeded because no one at the studio thought much about it (“Oh, let them have their Wondering Woman.”), and Patty Jenkins & company went largely unchecked.

I’m not going to shit on Justice League. The movie does a great job of that on its own. But I would like to laugh at some horrible and frustrating product placement in it.

Bruce Wayne has successfully recruited Barry Allen. They both get into Bruce’s expensive car. Bruce says the “because I’m rich” line from the trailer and then the movie cuts to his hands gripping the steering wheel. The fingers of his right hand stretch out to pull up on a small lever. The car starts up, and the movie cuts to his expensive car driving toward the camera for all to see which brand had this ingenious feat of engineering.

I wasn’t expecting anything to happen -- they weren’t in costume or in any danger -- but it seemed like something was about to happen. Turns out they were just going… Where were they going? Jesus! They weren't going anywhere!

Spider-Man: Homecoming is fun. I like Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 more than the first one. I’m in the minority opinion of Thor: Ragnarok. It is mostly pointless and too jokey, I say. It would have been an amazing surprise had no one known Hulk was in it.  

IN OTHER FRANCHISE NEWS

There are parts of The Last Jedi that I love. And there are parts of The Last Jedi that I ignore. If you’ve seen it once, you could miss the first 45-60 minutes forever and enjoy it even more.

War for the Planet of the Apes closes out the rebooted property. Easily one of the best series of the 21st century.

Transspotting 2 and Blade Runner 2049 prove a quality sequel can be made decades after the original. My fingers are crossed for Remo Williams: The Adventure Continues.

John Wick: Chapter 2 raises the stakes on the hitman world built in the first one. I couldn’t be looking forward to Chapter 3 more.

Alien: Covenant balances its philosophical and action elements better than Prometheus did. There’s a great middle sequence and final moment.

REST MY WEARY EYES

Enough blockbusters. Give me a movie set in a natural and practical environment where people interact with each other.

Lady Bird is a wonderful movie. I’m afraid it’s going to take away some attention from The Big Stick in the mind of people who give awards to things. Both are worth anyone’s time. The Big Sick does not let itself off the hook with an easy ending. Lady Bird will go down as one of the best director debuts, as will Jordan Peele’s debut, Get Out. He set the bar incredibly high for himself and his next movie.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri takes a brutal look at festering rage.

Marjorie Prime should probably be avoided if a loved one recently died or is suffering from dementia. Even without the recent experience of those things, this examination of memory and legacy is like a mule kick.

It Comes at Night and mother! both have trailers that misrepresent what really happens. I wouldn’t recommend mother! to many people, even though I do like it. It Comes at Night is an excellent story of how isolation can breed mistrust and paranoia.

The pace of Logan Lucky is unlike usual heist movies. It’s a little slower and not as flashy but no less engaging. The wealth of the community of characters reminds me of the comic Southern Bastards.

I’m a sucker for movies set in a single location. Ben Wheatley double downs on that idea with Free Fire by making a movie-length shoot out.

THE LESS YOU KNOW THE BETTER

Movie trailers don't respect you. You should pay them little mind. This year I tried not to watch trailers online. Very rarely has a trailer completely ruined a movie for me, but wouldn’t it be nice to see something in a movie you aren't expecting? If you trust me, watch these five movies without watching the trailers or reading more about them: 

Brigsby Bear. A 20-something guy is obsessed with a children's program. Co-written by and starring Kyle Mooney and directed by someone else from Saturday Night Live.

Better Watch Out. Christmas horror/comedy.

Colossal. A woman returns to her home town to get her life in order.

Good Time. Robert Pattinson received rave reviews in this crime drama.

The Girl with All the Gifts. Horror/thriller. I wish I could have seen it with that much information.

SOME OTHERS I LIKED A LOT

Split, Raw, Life, It, Murder of the Orient Express, The Disaster Artist, The Shape of Water.

THE OVERLAP

There are a few movies that open in select cities at the end of the year to be eligible for award season. They will receive a wider release in January. I, Tonya and Phantom Thread are the two I’m most interested in.

Here’s to movies in 2018!

My Favorite Christmas Movie - by Wal Ozello

Before I shut off the lights at the Pencilstorm office on Christmas Eve, I have one last assignment to finish: this year’s Pencilstorm Christmas blog.

While past years I’ve talked about telling my kids the truth about Christmas, that rock musicians make the best Santas or gratitude, this year I’d like to share my favorite Christmas Movie: Star Wars.

No, not the recent one, the original.  And by original I mean A New Hope.

It’s the perfect Christmas movie!  There’s gifts (Luke gets a lightsaber), a sleigh (Millennium Falcon), Christmas Magic (the Force) and even a Christmas Miracle (destroying the Death Star with a direct hit to an exhaust vent).

But to me, the most Christmasy part of the movie is when Luke Skywalker is standing over the burned down farmhouse of his uncle and aunt on Tatooine.  Right there is when he decides to be a Jedi and commit to making the universe a better place.  He has nothing at all but he decides there’s hope for a better tomorrow and he wants to be the catalyst for it.

Hope.  Christmas is about a new hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better than the current moment and the days past.  And with the year we’ve all had in 2017, can’t we use a little bit of it?

Ugh.  What a terrible year we’ve had!  Nazis. Sexual misconduct. Collusion with Russians. Major hurricanes. Wildfires. Mass shootings: Vegas, a Texas Church, a California school and lots others. Bombing at the Ariana Grande Concert. Train derailments. Ohio State Fair accident.

We gained President Trump and lost Tom Petty.

I’ve had some personal struggles, too, in 2017, as I’m sure many of you have had as well.

But here’s the thing: if some fictional character can stand over the fresh grave of his foster parents and somehow still having the strength to think he can save the world from evil, maybe I can stand over the grave of 2017 and vow to make 2018 a better time to live in.

So this Christmas, after dinner, I plan to sit down with the family and watch the best Christmas movie ever - A New Hope. When I’m done, I’ll figure out what I can do to make next year turn out better. And if everyone who reads this commits to making the world a better place for everyone, then maybe we can spread hope everywhere. (A rebellion against the evil empire, if you will.)

From all of us here at Pencilstorm, to you and your families, we wish you a happy holidays and hope that 2018 brings you everything you need.

Wal Ozello is a science fiction techno-thriller novelist and the author of Assignment 1989 ,  Revolution 1990, and Sacrifice 2086. He's the lead singer of the former Columbus rock band Armada and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Clash of Champions: Full of Surprises, One of them Good - by Big Vin Vader

                                                       follow @bigvinvader

It's been hard to get excited about WWE for a while now.  Jinder Mahal's world title reign was interminable, sacrificing Shinsuke Nakamura and delivering the exact same title match every PPV.  They brought back the Punjabi Prison match, for God's sake, not to mention the Great Khali himself.  Those were just a few bad moments over a six-month run, and these things can really wear you down as a fan.  Even with quality matches on most of this year's PPVs, the late-season shows just seemed to pass by, with little that happened after SummerSlam feeling exciting or worthwhile.  It’s been an open secret all year that SmackDown was the superior program, but having Jinder in the top role for so long showed blatant disregard for the fan base and really hurt the product.  Things were so bad that even having AJ Styles beat Jinder and regain the world title didn't quite solve the problem.  And that brings us to Clash of Champions.

This is strictly a B-level show, and there wasn’t much to get excited over, even with the "every title on the line" theme of the PPV.  There never seems to be a real risk of any titles actually changing hands, and that was true for all but the US title.  Instead, the show's undercard looked to deliver the most quality-wise.  As always, Kevin Owens looked to be the MVP of the night, partnering with Sami Zayn to take on Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura.  The stakes were high, with Owens and Zayn risking being "fired" from the company if they lost, continuing the Owens/Shane McMahon feud.  Even more interesting was the opportunity to further develop the storyline, as both Shane and Daniel Bryan acted as special referees, and there seemed to be a divide brewing between the two.  Unfortunately, that match kind of sucked, with Bryan and Shane hogging the attention and leaving us with a mess.  That match, on paper potentially the most entertaining, was the only truly bad thing on the show.  Clash on a whole was just another case of WWE underperforming, delivering a handful of matches that were just fine, nothing more.  Only the US title match really delivered anything in terms of above-average quality, and that would hardly have stood out on a more stacked card.  Keeping things brief with only six matches on the show was a good call, even if several overstayed their welcomes, but it was hard to take much offense at the way the majority of things played out.  Overall, it was a quiet, not-too unsatisfying end to WWE's overstuffed PPV calendar.

One plus on WWE shows this year is that they generally started off on a strong note.  The US title match between Baron Corbin, Dolph Ziggler, and Bobby Roode was a great opener, all the more exciting because it looked so bland going into the show.  Ziggler has stumbled around for most of the year, having no chance to show the fire he did during last year's career-saving feud with the Miz.  Instead, he's been floundering as a heel, mocking other wrestlers' entrances, and feuding with Roode since the summer, which is a shame because is such a well-rounded worker who really knows how to get the fans invested.  Corbin's year has been rocky as well, being stripped of his MITB briefcase shortly after winning it as punishment for a backstage incident.  He regained some of the company's faith, winning the US Title in a very solid match at Hell in a Cell.  Roode has always been a solid in-ring performer, but has done little of note since his call-up from NXT, and his matches with Ziggler delivered middling to fair results.  In theory, this was the same as that series: full of potential but likely to be bogged down due to poor match planning and layout.  Instead, the three delivered an action-heavy, fast-paced match with a compelling story and which built on the existing rivalries between each man.  Roode wrestles like it's still 1986, methodical, NWA-styled work, pulls it off against the high-speed modern WWE product. Corbin is a decent, but unexceptional powerhouse, and Ziggler brings an exciting athletic style to the mix, which has failed to mesh well with Roode's style in the past.  This time around, everything clicked and the match delivered the sort of action that's been missing from all of their work for quite some time.  Definitely the highlight of the show, and even more notable for Ziggler hitting a double Zig Zag to steal the title from under Corbin.  Oddly enough, on the SmackDown following the show, Dolph seemed to vacate the title and possibly quit the company, so who knows what’s going on.  Still, it was a great moment of surprise to see him win since he was the dark horse of the match by a long stretch.

Some of WWE's best matches of the year have been tag team contests, and a number of those were part of the New Day/Usos feud.  The Usos are some of the most convincing heels on the roster currently, and their newfound ruthlessness has put them at the top of SmackDown’s tag division.  The New Day are always to be over with fans, and this feud has brought their in-ring work up several notches, showing their all-around potential.  All three members are putting in some of their best performances in a long while, and their natural chemistry with the Usos has kept the rivalry fresh far longer than expected.  That said, their great match at HIAC should have put an end to the feud, and it would have felt stale to offer that same pairing yet again.  Of course, a four-team match for the titles isn't the solution I would have personally suggested.  Having that many bodies in and around the ring at one time is distracting and confusing, and half of the time I wonder where I should be focusing.  It was also puzzling to include two teams who are pretty much cobbled together in the other two corners, and at no point did it really seem like the Usos were at risk of losing their titles.  Rusev is one of WWE's most underrated wrestlers, and he was my pick for MVP in the match, showing off his surprising athleticism and begging for another singles title run.  It's funny how pairing him with the obnoxious Aiden English has practically turned Rusev face for the crowd.  Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin are both amazing wrestlers, but are both somewhat lacking on the mic.  They clearly were paired with one another for those similarities, and also because creative has no other plans for them at the moment.  Much as I enjoy watching them work, they never seemed like credible threats to the Usos, and did nothing extraordinary in this match.  The whole thing was about as exciting and predictable as I've made it sound, and there were no surprises, especially when it came to the Usos retaining.  Again, this wasn't a bad match, and the wrestling itself was very solid and dependable.  Something was just missing though, and it was hard to get too excited when it seemed like WWE was treading water.

Up there with the let-down of the Owens/Zayn match, another big disappointment was the underwhelming Women's Title Lumberjack Match between Charlotte and Natalya.  Lumberjack matches are kind of useless, and I don't think I've seen one I truly enjoyed.  In the end, you know that the competitors are going to try and get their opponent out of the ring and waste match time by having them beat down by the lumberjacks.  Charlotte and Natty can flat-out go in the ring when they're given the opportunity, and they have all the potential in the world to deliver a technical classic.  They've done it on a number of occasions in the past.  This particular iteration of their rivalry, however, has been anything but a success, and I really miss the days when smiling babyface Natalya tried and failed to best ruthless heel Charlotte.  Their last PPV match at HIAC was a mess, a one-sided beatdown that saw Natty get herself disqualified after several unsatisfying minutes.  For some reason, each of the lumberjacks got their own entrance, which ate up even more unnecessary time.  As expected, it seemed like more than half of the match had either of the wrestlers being tossed out of the ring and getting stomped on the floor by the crowd of lumberjacks.  All of that stop-and-start action kept them from putting on any sort of cohesive clinic in the ring, and the focus seemed to be on the lumberjacks as much as the two in the match itself.  Probably the weirdest point was when Naomi, one of the lumberjacks, hit a flying cross body to break up a scuffle.  I didn't know lumberjacks were allowed to hit high flying moves.  In the end, after maybe five total minutes in-ring, Natty tapped to the figure eight and Charlotte retained the title.  That was the right call, Charlotte is the sort of wrestler who adds to the prestige of a championship while she holds it, and she was definitely in worse shape the majority of this year when she didn’t have a title around her waist.  If only they would turn her heel once again, and let her put on serious matches unfettered by ridiculous stipulations, she could easily return to her former place as the best female wrestler in the company (Asuka's booking will determine if she can claim that spot).
The squash match between Breezango and the Bludgeon Brothers was everything it needed to be: a quick, decisive win for the newest incarnation of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, allowing them to look dominant.  Luke Harper is even more underrated than Rusev, a big man who can move fast and keep pace with nearly anyone on the roster.  His year has been very up-and-down, barely appearing in the earliest and middle months, while also looking like a serious potential challenger for Bray Wyatt's world title at WrestleMania.  This current repackaging is hardly flattering, and the name is pretty godawful, but he and Rowan seem to be getting a somewhat decent push as monster heels, so I can't complain as far as that goes.  No sub-two- minute match is going to be a classic, and this was no exception, but it was perfectly to the point.  Breezango lost nothing in their defeat, especially since they're one of the few exceptions who actually thrive more as entertainers than athletes, and they have their roles down.  There wasn't a whole lot of substance to this match, and that's fine.  It accomplished what it needed to and didn't overstay its welcome.

Instead of a fast-paced classic, the Zayn/Owens vs. Orton/Nakamura "firing" match was a sprawling twenty-minute mess bogged down by stupid antics from special refs Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan.  Given the talent of the wrestlers involved (it's not a bad thing when Randy Orton is the weakest link in a match), this one should have been the easy match-of-the-night winner.  Instead, it was on the lesser end of the spectrum by far, grouped in with the women's title match because its goofy stipulation got in the way of telling a satisfying story in the ring.  Owens and Zayn are the best heels on the SmackDown roster, the perfect team to spit in the face of SmackDown's establishment and shake the brand up.  Nakamura has been terribly mishandled since debuting, wasted in weak feuds and sacrificed to the Jinder Mahal experiment.  That said, he’s still the most uniquely charismatic star on the roster, and the crowd has taken to him like nobody else, so he can still be salvaged.  Beyond that, he and Zayn had a barn-burner of a match last year in NXT, and Owens showed himself to be equally as compatible with Shinsuke on last week’s SmackDown Live.  Given all of that, the action that took place in the ring was perfectly fine, smooth and professional with a number of pleasing spots and exchanges.  But it was all touch and go, and Shane and Bryan kept getting in the way as they teased out their tense relationship.  McMahon was firmly against Owens and Zayn, and Bryan was reluctantly in their corner for the sake of fairness.  They argued constantly and got in the competitors’ ways as they bickered over whether something really was a three count and complained about one another’s calls.  The finish was the low point, as Shane refused to count a pin from Zayn beyond two, so Bryan took it upon himself to fast count it an instant later.  A cheap ending that had nothing to do with the people actually wrestling the match, and made everything that came before it feel like a major waste of time.

Jinder Mahal winning the title was as terrible a moment as AJ Styles finally beating him for it was a great one.  Thing is, as ill-advised as the whole Jinder experiment turned out to be, it wasn't necessarily a creative train wreck as far as the wrestling itself went.  Sure, there were racist promos against Shinsuke, and way too many Singh brothers interference spots, but for a former enhancement talent Jinder did fine.  Not world champion fine, but none of his matches have been outright duds (save maybe his SummerSlam match with Shinsuke).  They've just been plodding, overlong, and uninteresting contests, repeating the same formula time and again, making the predictable outcome even more frustrating each time.  As amazing as he may be, AJ Styles does not share Bret Hart's gift of being able to carry far lesser workers to great matches, or at least not in Jinder's case he doesn't.  I don't really have much to say about this match, other than it felt incredibly long, and was worse to watch live than it actually was when considered as a whole.  The Singh brothers interfered, dispelling the notion that Jinder had severed ties with them, and AJ took them out quickly.  Styles was pretty much flawless, as he always is, but that was all his own doing, and even such sterling work couldn't turn this into anything memorable.  The only positive thing I can really say is that they gave AJ the win and kept the world title on him.  Hopefully this marks the end of the Jinder experiment and he finds himself shunted back down to the undercard.

Frankly, Clash of Champions was kind of a mirror of Jinder's world title reign itself: seemingly a lot on the line, but no real risks posed to anyone.  Even more reflective, it was neither good nor horribly bad, just underwhelming and fine.  It was just kind of there, unassuming and inoffensive.  It really wasn't a bad end to the PPV year, especially considering the Royal Rumble was one of the stronger shows at the very top of the year.  The quality was consistent throughout 2017, although there were a number of depressing lows that really made me question why I was watching.  Nothing on Clash was quite that bad, although large portions of the women's and Zayn/Owens match had me scratching my head.  Maybe I'm just burned out by so much content this year, and 2018's reduced PPV calendar is the solution I need.  I’m excited for the Royal Rumble, if nothing else.

Big Vin Vader cover WWE for Pencilstorm. Follow @bigvinvader

A Public Service Announcement for KISS Fans: Mandatory Holiday Viewing - by Anne Marie

My son is a huge James Franco fan and he recently suggested Why Him? for family movie night.  Why Him? came out last December.  Set at Christmas time, it features Bryan Cranston as Ned Fleming, Hollywood's version of a Midwest normal dad, going out to California with his wife and son to spend the holiday with his daughter at Stanford to meet her new boyfriend.  As a comedy, it's pretty much a ripoff of the Meet the Parents storyline, but it has some funny moments and I especially liked Keegan-Micheal Key's character, Gustav.

As we watched it, and repeated reference was made to the fact that the Flemings' favorite band was KISS, and KISS was on the soundtrack and worked into the very fabric of the plotline, I thought, "How has Colin not mentioned this? This must be on his annual holiday watch list."  And when I asked him, I was floored when he responded, “I don’t know that one!  You have one-upped me on KISS!  How is that possible?”

How is that possible?!?  This is the dude whose blog has more than 30 articles devoted to KISS, who has himself written multiple articles about the band, one in which he describes an entire Sunday morning devoted to Googling Kiss setlists and then watching the videos on Youtube and another in which he compares the finer points of Paul and Ace’s respective solo albums, and who can expertly steer any conversation towards the band, to wit this recent Facebook discussion which began as which Rock Hall nominees would become inductees in 2018, and then became which bands were fully formed on their debut album, and then somehow became an all out KISS-o-mania celebration:

James Baumann I always think of The Pretenders and The Clash as the answers to this question. R.E.M. is a good choice as well.

Colin Gawel Scott Carr I don’t think they really hit stride until Heaven Tonight. Love the debut but it’s pretty quirky.

Matt Walters KISS’ debut is pretty hard to beat, although they weren’t really “fully formed” in the sense they weren’t a whopper with cheese yet. 😉 The Jam, The Beastie Boys, Exploding Hearts (RIP), Television all have 5/5 debuts, too. I might also throw Franz and TVOTR in there too. Also You Am I but nobody’s ever heard of them.

Peter Nichols Colin Gawel Sh*t, I forgot "Get The Knack".

'Twas brilliant!

Peter Nichols I mean, the drumming alone deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

James Baumann Matt Walters Love me some You Am I.

Steve Elshoff Van Halen.

Steve Elshoff Jeff Buckley.

Colin Gawel Matt Walters KISS is but sonically it just doesn't have the goods. Alive is really the record in my opinion.

Colin Gawel Van Halen ! duh. Facepalm.

Kyle Siegrist Metallica Kill 'Em All

Kyle Siegrist Colin Gawel IMO the Kiss debut lp is their best, but I agree Alive put them on the map.

Colin Gawel Kyle Siegrist best songs no doubt but I always play Alive for folks. Actually, they probably hit their peak on Destroyer. Artwork - sound - songs - all that jazz.

Colin Gawel Or possibly Crazy Nights.

Scott Carr Rock And Roll Over beats Destroyer all day long.....

Colin Gawel Scott Carr now you are just trolling me. Everybody knows I’m a Destroyer guy.

Scott Carr hehe....

Kyle Siegrist Remember I'm not really a Kiss fan like you or Scott. For whatever reason I personally just like thier debut best. I also really like The Elder.

Colin Gawel In other KISS related news I guess the greatest book ever written is being re released and I’m not talking about the Bible.

Scott Carr Colin Gawel I thought you were a Crazy Nights guy????

Scott Carr that book is anazing...

Colin Gawel Guess the author was on Eddie Trunk and an updated version coming out. And rumor has it Vinnie Vincent is on the cover. Seriously.

Matt Walters vinnie's also on the back cover! It's a commemorative edition specifically highlighting how overrrated he is by certain fans of the band ;)

Matt Walters I think this discussion about KISS vis-a-vis the "fully formed on the debut" comment is really interesting. On KISS boards, the debut typically is a solid #2 among fan aggregate polls (behind RARO - usually Hotter than Hell is third and Destroyer is f...See More

Colin Gawel Kyle Siegrist I think reasonable people can agree The Elder is better than The Wall.

Rick Kinsinger Am I the only one who suspects that Colin's motive for this entire thread was to turn it into a discussion about the KISS discography?

Kyle Siegrist Colin Gawel yeah that's a no brainier

Nate Puderbaugh Oasis "Definitely Maybe"

Pete Vogel Some of my fave debut albums: VH, Boston, Foreigner, The Cars, Tom Petty, Led Zep. All broke new ground, IMO.

Scott Carr Rick Kinsinger isn't that why all Facebook threads are started?

Colin Gawel Matt Walters I can't find pre order for updated KISS touring history? Can you help a brother out?

Scott Carr ColinGawel I think the only place they are taking orders is through pledge music.....

Colin Gawel Scott Carr good tip. Stumbled on many other Kiss books in my quest. You read that Elder one?

Scott Carr yeah The Elder one is good. If you have the solo album book, it's done by the same guy. Lots of info....

Matt Walters Colin Gawel I believe it sold out. Let me check the FAQ

Scott Carr Colin Gawelhttps://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/alive-forever

So if you, like Colin, are a KISS fanatic who hasn't seen Why Him? yet, or if you are just looking for another Christmas-themed raunchy comedy to pass a couple of hours, Why Him? is currently on demand.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

* * *

DO NOT EVEN GLANCE BELOW HERE OR WATCH EITHER OF THE VIDEO CLIPS IF YOU WANT TO BE FULLY SURPRISED BY JUST HOW KISS "PLAYS" INTO THE MOVIE.

Attention World: Colin on Andymanathon Saturday Morning. Stream It!

Watershed and myself have a lonnnnnng history with the annual CD1025 Andymanathon charity for the kids. The late WWCD program director Andy Davis started the tradition 25 years ago when he would stay on air for 48 straight hours and play requests in exchange for donations for children's charities. Though sadly he has left us, his tradition remains alive though the current staff widely divide up the two day event among themselves.

With that is mind, I will be on air with Brian Phillips Saturday December 16th from 8-10am. (Or from after I drop off Owen at basketball practice until 10am.) The good thing about that time slot is that if you call in, and make a request-donation it usually goes on air very quickly. So, please tune in or even better, stream the show at www.cd1025.com and request your favorite Watershed-League Bowlers-Lonely Bones song. You will be glad you did.  

Call 614 221 1025 and tell Brian and myself "hello" and play a song for the kids. 

Elf Anxiety - by Andra Gillum

Elf Anxiety by Andra Gillum.

Every year just after Thanksgiving, I look forward to unpacking all our Christmas decorations.  I pull out the boxes, and the kids and I put everything in its proper place.  I must admit, however that there is one holiday decoration I wish I could leave in the bottom of the box.

The Elf on the Shelf triggers my anxiety.  I hate to admit it, but this little guy really knows how to push my buttons.

As I said, I love almost everything about Christmas.  From the decorations to the lights to the music and traditions, I l really do love it all.   It’s just that darned Elf!

It’s not that I dislike elves in general.  The movie Elf is a classic.  I love that Buddy the Elf and his Pop-tart pasta with syrup.  And how could you not root for the little misfits: Herbie the dentist and his friend Rudolph?

It’s just the Elf on the Shelf who makes me twitchy.  The holiday season is busy enough, and the stress he adds just pushes me over the top.

Every night, I’m expected to come up with some clever thing to do with the Elf, or some funny place to put him.  There are photos and ideas all over the web about it.

Somehow, I’ve gotten on an email list that sends me ideas an inspiration for my elf.  When they suggested that I soak the elf’s feet in a bath of marshmallows and call it a spa day, I decided that I’d rather leave the elf on his shelf and have my own spa day.

My kids show me You Tube videos of all the clever things that other elves do.  Someone’s naughty elf actually wrapped their entire Christmas tree in holiday paper.  I’m lucky to get all the gifts wrapped.  Never mind ribbons and bows.

Then there’s the Elf Shaming.  My daughter comes home from school with stories of all the silly and clever things that her friends’ elves did.  She tells me how bad she feels that she has nothing to share. Mom guilt.

Plus, the pressure goes on all month long!  That means 24 nights of anxiety.  24 days of trying to think of something new and different.  

There have been nights when I have finally climbed into my warm bed after an evening of wrapping gifts.  I’m half asleep when I am jolted awake by the realizations that I have forgotten to do anything with the elf.

I’m certain that I am not the only one with elf-anxiety.  A friend posted a funny picture on You Tube of an elf wearing a full leg cast.  He left a note for the children saying that he wouldn’t be able to move from the shelf for 2-3 weeks.  That’s one smart mom.  

I hate to come across as a Grinch because I really do love Christmas, and all the fun traditions for our kids.  Maybe we can just shorten the elf’s visit from the North Pole?  How about a nice, 3-day weekend?  Who’s with me?

I mean no offense to any Elf lovers out there.  I applaud your enthusiasm and perseverance.  We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

So, whether you love the Elf…or count down the days to his departure, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  

Andra Gillum is a Pencil Storm contributor and the author of the children’s books “Doggy Drama” and “Puppy Drama” and “Old Doggy Drama”.  Learn more or order online at www.doggydrama.com.  Like us on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/doggydrama.   

If you work for a school, or know of one who would be interested in an author visit, please contact Andra at andrag@wowway.com.  Follow Andra on Twitter @GillumAndra