The Spring Game, the QBs and “If you were Urban…” - Baver Answers Colin’s Questions

Follow @baverbuckeyebag and listen for him on the CD1025 Morning Show with Brian Phillips.

Colin: Do spring games tell you anything? I mean, if they did…wouldn’t Bam Childress have ended up with a couple of Heismans?

Baver: Indeed…..ha. You don’t get much from these things. The halftime races and QB throwing contests they have now are often more entertaining than the actual scrimmages. But I do like to see the freshmen that arrived early and those frosh that redshirted the prior year, at least to see what they bring to the table athletically. And it’s nice to see the Buckeye QBs in scrimmage action, especially if they haven’t played much. And to be honest, I think that watching Bam Childress go off once a year in April was actually pretty cool.

Colin: If you were Urban, would you tell Ohio boy Joe Burrow he has no shot and have him transfer or lead him on as insurance?

Baver: I really don’t think that’s the case….that Burrow has no shot. I think Burrow was likely your #2 guy before his hand injury last August. But Haskins held his own in mop time, and more than held his own leading OSU to the comeback win in Ann Arbor. And there are whispers that Haskins has the backing of the rest of the team more so than Burrow. So I agree Haskins has the leg up, but Burrow is the more accurate of the two, and will do more with his legs than Haskins will. But to try to answer your question, I don’t think anyone outside of the coaches’ room will know of Urban’s pecking order at QB anytime soon. If Burrow transfers, he may end up at Nebraska or even worse, heading 4 hours north of us to play, and playing immediately. UM would be a longer shot with them likely getting a waiver for Shea Patterson to play this fall, but it’s not out of the question….and Urban is well aware of that.

Colin: How does Tate Martell play into the QB equation?

Baver: I see almost no way Meyer names Tate Martell the #1 guy, as he risks having Burrow and Haskins both transfer. They can probably satisfy Tate by promising him legit playing time, and in packages with Haskins or Burrow on the field with him at the same time. I do struggle seeing Tate as a true #1 QB at OSU at any point in his career. He is much smaller than two other guys he is being compared with – Johnny Football and Baker Mayfield. But Tate appears to be a gamer and a guy that can cause college defenses a lot of problems if you utilize him the right way. The kid is going to see quite a few snaps this fall, and not just playing the mop-up roll.

Colin: Seems like a lot of question marks on this team…at least for a team you expect to win 11+ games every year. What’s your gut telling you about this ’18 team?

Baver: Urban has had the Buckeyes, at a minimum, on the playoff bubble each of the four years the CFP has been around. I fully expect them to be there again.  With the last two recruiting classes, Urban and co. are on the verge of stockpiling talent at every position the way Bama has done it for years. I haven’t said that in the past, as I always considered Bama a clear cut above the rest in talent level (and everything else for that matter). But you are right, there are a lot of questions. Replacing both OTs and a Remington Award winning center is rough. Tons of talent at linebacker, but not sure who will be manning any of the three specific LB positions come September. There was a clear drop-off after Denzel Ward at corner last year, and now he’s gone. Again, plenty of talent there but no proven star, and no tutelage from Kerry Coombs anymore. Still, Ohio St will be fine at QB and WR, and are loaded at running back. They also, of course, have another elite D-line. This team should go 10-2 or 11-1, and maybe make another legit run

 

Your Marah Primer: Five Songs You Need to Know - by Joe Oestreich

Marah (Bielanko Brothers Acoustic) w/Colin Gawel Friday April 20th at Hogan House Productions.

Your Marah Primer: Five Songs You Need to Know  -  by Joe Oestreich

Of all the bands that got lumped into the imprecisely named ‘90s alternative country movement, Marah is my favorite. Sure, they were once signed to alt-country godfather Steve Earle’s E-Squared label, but Marah isn’t country. Marah is city. Less honky tonks and bass boats and more cheap Chinese joints, Vietnamese barbers, and muddy rivers that spit out Colt .45 bottles and bags of dead kittens.

The specific city in the case of Dave and Serge Bielanko—the brothers who started the band—is Philadelphia, but we’re not talking about the clichéd boxing-and-cheesesteaks Philly, about Balboa v. Creed and Pat’s v. Geno’s. Marah sings about the true Philadelphia, or at least a Philadelphia so dense with unexpected and raw detail that when listening to their records I assume it to be true. But even if it’s not, Marah’s melodies and lyrics are so freaking great, I’ll happily take the Bielanko Brothers’ word for it.

Should you go see Marah  play an acoustic house show in Columbus of Friday April 20th? Absolutely. (Click here for event info) Could I possibly write anything that would convince you that you should go? Maybe not. For nearly fifteen years writers far more accomplished than me have been trying to get people to queue up for Marah.  

Exhibit A: Nick Hornby writing for The New York Times .

Exhibit B: Stephen King (Click here for his favorite record of 2005)

So, yeah. You should go. But if you’re not yet ready to commit—if you’re still just Marah-curious—here are five songs you might consider when weighing your options.

1. “Christian Street” from Kids in Philly

Perhaps the most Phila-centric song on their most Phila-centric record. You get the sense that the Bielanko Bros. have a complicated relationship with their hometown. After all, they eventually moved away, relocating the band to Brooklyn for a time. Then again, judging by the street-level detail in this song, it’s clear that while they were living there, they were paying attention. And as Sister Sarah Joan says to Lady Bird in last year’s Oscar-nominated film, isn’t paying attention the same thing as love?

2. “What 2 Bring” from Float Away with the Friday Night Gods

For the follow-up to Kids in Philly, Marah moved about as far away from alt-country as they could, geographically (to London), artistically (the big shades and bubble gum on the album cover), and musically (the mega-chorus power pop of this song). This album pretty much tanked, but it made me love Marah for their disco ball-sized gonads.

3. “Pizzeria” from 20,000 Streets Under the Sky

Serge Bielanko’s doo-wop influenced ode to a slice shop that turned Chinese. If you can’t taste the garlic powder after listening to this song, then you obviously have no soul (or maybe it’s just because the sound quality on this video ain’t so hot).

4. “The Closer” from If You Didn’t Laugh, You’d Cry

This is Dave Bielanko applying to Brooklyn that same eye for detail he once employed in cataloging Philadelphia. But now with added playfulness. Stick around to the end to find out how much it costs to have a Mississippi pickle applied to your Brooklyn buns.

5. “Angels of Destruction” from Angels of Destruction!

My computer is right now telling me that this is the thirteenth most-ever played song in my iTunes. More significantly, this song features perhaps the most honest and true lyric in rock history: I love you so much. Now let’s get something to eat.

Bonus! Exhibit C: Bruce Springsteen. In case the tunes above aren’t doing it for you, here’s an additional celebrity endorsement, straight from the rock and roll CEO.

Clearly, not going to the Marah’s Columbus show would amount to insubordination. I can’t speak for you, but I wouldn’t want that on my permanent record.

Joe Oestreich is the bass player for Watershed and the author of four books, including Hitless Wonder: A Life in Minor League Rock and Roll and Waiting to Derail: Ryan Adams and Whiskeytown, Alt-Country’s Brilliant Wreck (co-written with Thomas O’Keefe), which is forthcoming in June.


 

Pencilstorm is Going to WrestleMania 34 in New Orleans!! - by Colin Gawel

Say what you want about Vince McMahon and the WWE, but they know how to take care of the press. Pencilstorm WWE writer Big Vin Vader was invited down to the Big Easy to cover Wrestlemania 34 and as editor I insisted on being his + 1 in the name of journalistic integrity. No fake news in our professional wrestling coverage. It's all serious business.

We fly out from Columbus Sunday morning and I will be sure to post a picture on the Pencilstorm facebook page from the Superdome or some place cool. Big Vin Vader will have his recap of the show posted next week right here at Pencilstorm. - Colin

My KISS Record - by David Martin

To see full Unmasked draft results click here. Click here to see records selected by Colin Gawel and Scott Carr.

My KISS Record - by David Martin

Side One

King of the Mountain (Round No. 3)

Heaven's on Fire (2)

Betrayed (7)

When Your Walls Come Down (9)

Gimme More (8)

God Gave Rock and Roll To You II (5) 

 

Side Two

Lick It Up (1)

Under The Gun (4)

Trial by Fire (6) 

Bang Bang You (12)

Radar for Love (10)

You Love Me To Hate You (11) 

 

Comments

I was pleased "Lick It Up" was available with the sixth pick. Kiss lyrics are generally terrible, but "Don't want to wait till you know me better" is a great opening line. I should have taken "Tears Are Falling" with my next pick. My Gene songs are generic: "Trial by Fire" is a toe-tapper, but "Betrayed" is pretty forgettable.

I like the history of "God Gave Rock and Roll To You" more than I like the actual song. One of the flaws with my album is that "God Gave" is the only song from "Revenge" that I drafted. 

We were 15 years old when "Animalize" was released, so we may not have fully comprehended the line in "Under the Gun" about hitting the highway doing 69. I remember Joe Oestreich joking that he used to listen to the song and think, "Sixty-nine? That's not that fast."

"Bang Bang You" was the worst song on the worst set list Kiss ever took on tour. 

Bold Predictions for Every MLB Team - by Brian Phillips

Our editor asked me to come up with five bold predictions for the upcoming baseball season. I'll do you better boss. Here's one for every team:

Arizona Diamondbacks

It's been the talk of the off season among fantasy nerds like myself. The D-Backs are installing a humidor to make the balls heavier to help out their pitchers. When they struggle offensively that contraption will be gone by June.

Atlanta Braves

A.J. Minter will be closing by mid season. Fastball at 96. Wipeout slider that garners a 23% swinging strike rate. If he can prove he's tamed the walk beast he's in.

Baltimore Orioles

On their way to a last place finish the O's look to replenish a weak farm system by trading Manny Machado. The Yankees offer a package that includes top prospect Miguel Andujar. Holding their noses about trading with a division rival, Baltimore pulls the trigger. New York gives Machado a 6 year deal in the off season.

Boston Red Sox

Mookie Betts goes 30/110 with 25 steals and hits .320 to win AL MVP. A deep dive into his 2016 reveals he may have been the unluckiest regular in the league last season. A .268 batting average on balls in play will do that. Everything else looked normal.

Chicago Cubs

In his first full season on the northside Jose Quintana has a career year. 18 wins in 32 starts. 200 innings. 220 strike outs. Seriously considered for NL Cy Young.

Chicago White Sox

Struggling to maintain a .280 on base percentage, shortstop and lead off hitter Tim Anderson is moved to 9th in the order and eventually optioned to triple A to learn plate discipline.

Cincinnati Reds

Jesse Winker wins a regular starting job. Seizes lead off spot. Hits .310 and scores 85 runs. His on base percentage is sabermetric porn at .380

Cleveland Indians

With Jason Kipnis going on the DL.... again... The Tribe call up #1 prospect Francisco Mejia. Though he's a catcher by trade Cleveland has been working him out at third. Jose Ramirez moves to second full time. Meija talks over at the hot corner and rakes. With a cannon arm he grows into the position and remains a fixture at 3rd for the next several years.

Colorado Rockies

The trade deadline arrives and Colorado has been unable to deal Carlos Gonzalez. Cargo is mired in his second straight terrible season. David Dahl has long ago taken his place in right field. Gonzalez is DFA'd. The Yankees acquire him after he clears waivers for a single A pitcher. Gonzalez pinch hits in game five of the divisional round and hits a series winning home run because Yankees.

Detroit Tigers

Nick Castellanos is a bright spot for an otherwise bleak rebuilding season. He goes 32/110 and hits .290, out producing Miguel Cabrera.

Houston Astros

Free from Pittsburgh Gerritt Cole is given his full arsenal of weapons. Allowed to work his breaking stuff Cole wins 17 games and posts a sub 3.20 era. He starts game one of the World Series.

Kansas City Royals

Jake Junis (who?) leads the club in starts, wins, strikeouts and ERA. Represents KC at the All Star Game.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Crushed by the pressure of trying to be a two-way player in the best league in the world Shohei Ohtani has his last at bat before the end of May.

Los Angeles Dodgers

Beset by injuries the Dodgers fail to win the division title.

Miami Marlins

At the trade deadline the Marlins trade Cameron Maybin to the Yankees for cash considerations. Next season Maybin announces he's signed a three year deal with the Nippon Ham Fighters.

Milwaukee Brewers

The Brewers have the highest team batting average and the highest team ERA in the National League.

Minnesota Twins

Fernando Rodney loses the closer job by May 1st. Gets it back June 1st. Loses again August 15th.

New York Mets

At one point during the season Yoenis Céspedes, Noah Syndergaard, Matt Harvey, Michael Conforto, and Seth Lugo are all on the disabled list at the same time. Adrian Gonzalez gets 550 at bats.

New York Yankees

Aaron Judge strikes out 220 times and sees his batting average crater to .230. Giancarlo Stanton spends at least four weeks on the disabled list.

Oakland Athletics

Having hit 24 home runs in just 59 games in 2017 Matt Olson slams 52 and leads the American League in 2018.

Philadelphia Phillies

Weary of his underachievement, the Phils bench third baseman Mikel Franco by the end of May and insert top prospect Scott Kingery at the hot corner. Franco is traded to the Dodgers at the deadline because Justin Turner cannot stay healthy.

Pittsburgh Pirates

Cancer survivor Jameson Taillon makes 30 starts and strikes out 200 in 185 innings of work.

St. Louis Cardinals

No longer able to hold him back, late bloomer Jose Martinez is a regular at first base just weeks into the season. Matt Carpenter logs extended time at 2nd and 3rd to make it happen. Martinez hits .300 with 25 home runs and is a National League All Star.

San Diego Padres

Jose Pirela will hit .285 with 20 homers, 80 RBI, 85 runs and 15 steals and represent the Pads at the All Star Game.

San Francisco Giants

Beginning the season without Madison Bumgarner and Jeff Samardzija the Giants find themselves in a deep hole by June. An already aging roster will not be able to staunch the bleeding. The Giants finish last and manager Bruce Bochy is fired.

Seattle Mariners

All the way back from Tommy John surgery Cardinals 2013 #1 pick Marco Gonzalez will log 180 innings with an ERA of 3.20, 15 wins and a strikeout per inning.

Texas Rangers

Joey Gallo and Rougned Odor combine for 80 home runs, and between them a .210 average.

Toronto Blue Jays

With only Curtis Granderson holding him back, one time Astros prospect Teoscar Hernández forces his way into the starting line up. Hernandez strikes out a lot, but with a 50% flyball rate and loads of hard contact he hits 30 home runs.

Washington Nationals

By May 1st 20 year old top prospect Victor Robles is a fixture in center field and goes neck and neck with the Braves' Ronald Acuna for National League Rookie Of The Year.

 

My Picks:

American League Division Winners: Yankees, Indians, Astros.

Wild Cards: Red Sox, Mariners.

National League Division Winners:   Nationals, Cubs, Rockies

Wild Cards:  Dodgers, Brewers

World Series:  Nationals/Astros

World Champions:   Houston Astros

Brian Phillips hosts the CD1025 Morning Show in Columbus,OH. Tune in or stream it at CD1025.com .



























 

Reds Opening Day at The Library Bar: A Tradition Unlike Any Other - by Colin Gawel

*** Reds Opening Day Rained Out! Rescheduled Friday March 30th. All bets are off but hope folks can make it. 

Join your favorite Pencilstorm writers for MLB Opening Day at The Library Bar on Thursday March 29th. First pitch for the Reds vs Nationals is 4 pm and I wouldn't be  late if you plan on catching Homer Bailey on the hill as he might be headed for the showers by 4:30.

The Tribe open the season later that evening on the West coast against Brian Phillips and the Seattle Mariners. 

Reds Win Total 73.5?  It's funny. The Reds have been awful the past few seasons but they have been a surprisingly fun team to watch. When future hall of famer Joey Votto is locked in, every AB is must watch TV. And he is locked in most of the time. Billy Hamilton ABs are must miss TV but the guy is a human highlight reel on the base paths and especially in center field. (Watch This)

I want to say the team will improve in 2018 but the pitching once again looks historically bad. How bad? The Pencilstorm fantasy baseball league drafted 360 players. Exactly three Reds pitchers were chosen. Luis Castillo, Raisel Iglesias, and Homer Bailey. Actually, I chose Homer as my last pick and he isn't even starting for my fantasy team despite being the Reds opening day pitcher. That's rough.

If Reds manager Brian Price had any sense and/or balls, he would read Chapter 9 in Brian Kenny's amazing baseball book Ahead of the Curve and just eliminate the starting pitcher for 2018. Every pitcher goes through the line-up one time and they all pitch roughly equal innings. This would mathematically guarantee to improve the team's win total. But who wants use numbers when you can rely on tradition? Price's inability to accept reality and think outside the box will finally cost him his job this year.

That reminds me of a story I once wrote: What if Dusty Baker was Bryan Price?

And.......        The Reds Will Remember the Dusty Baker Years Fondly.

Anyway,  I'm an optimist so I like the Reds to combine dumb luck with magic to get 74 wins. 

Cleveland Indians 94.5 wins. The only thing not to like about this Tribe squad is that everything looks too good. Nobody in the AL Central can touch them so it's all about knocking off the Astros or Yankees in the playoffs. Payroll reality sets in next year so it's do or die time on the North shore. I'll take the over. 98 wins.

Colin Gawel wrote this at Colin's Coffee in between serving customers. Excuse the typos please. Colin and The Bowlers are playing Little Rock Bar Sunday April 29th 2-5pm.