What Columbus Means To Me: My History In Ohio's Biggest City - by Jeremy Porter

Jeremy Porter and The Tucos will be performing at the Rumba Cafe in Columbus, Ohio, on Saturday, January 19th. Doors 7 pm. Jeremy and the band are on at 8 pm. Colin Gawel and the Bowlers follow. FREE SHOW.

Growing up in northern Michigan, far from Ann Arbor and that great rivalry, Columbus wasn’t even on my radar. We knew about Cincinnati because of WKRP and the stampede at that Who concert, we knew Toledo from M*A*S*H, and we knew that Cleveland was a place, but not Columbus. Then I moved downstate in the fall of `88 and overnight Columbus was a thing to be hated, in November at least. A few years later, the guy who ran our record label turned me onto a band from there called Scrawl, who did a cover of Cheap Trick’s “High Roller” that he knew I’d like, and I’d been hearing about a band called Watershed too, that was supposedly cut from the same cloth as I was, but I didn’t pay that any mind.

October 21, 1995 I was playing in a punk band from Detroit called SlugBug. We had just come off a couple years of playing a ton of shows, a couple Midwest and east coast tours, and a lineup change. We weren’t getting along all that well at the time and it was cold. We drove down to Columbus for a one-off at a place called the High Street Downunder. We thought it had to be a cool place because Scrawl had recently played there. Maybe it was, but you can’t even find it on Google today. I remember I was under the weather, and after load-in I had to go #2 (sorry, TMI) and there was NO WAY I was doing that in the disgusting men’s room, so our bass player’s girlfriend stood watch outside of the much more presentable ladies room for me. If memory serves, we played to a decent crowd but didn’t get paid, the other bands weren’t very nice, and it was a long, cold, depressing drive home though the frozen Ohio night.

September 27, 1997 I became obsessed with Keith Richards and The Stones in the late `80s and by `97 I was all in. I bought tickets in Ann Arbor, but for the Columbus show. I didn’t have to wait on line, because the Detroit show’s tickets had gone on sale an hour earlier. Seventh row center, right between Keith and Mick. I remember the marquee at Taco Bell on High Street said “Free Taco for Mick Jagger” and I loved that. I was feeling great as my wife and I walked across campus into the Horseshoe, and all the way down front. It was a beautiful evening and they were the best band on the planet that night.

November 9, 2003 I was playing in a powerpop band called The OffRamps. We got added to a show at Small’s in Hamtramck, MI being promoted by my friend Brian, supporting a band I really liked from Texas called Grand Champeen. Brian’s band Porchsleeper was playing too, but it was a Sunday night, so it was bound to be a disaster. Still, I was happy to play with both of those bands. A few days before the show a band I’d seen at The Elbow Room in Ypsilanti a couple of times called Two Cow Garage was added to the bill. That really annoyed me. I didn’t really like them much, and I hated the idea of a fourth act being added to a Sunday night show. But Brian said it was kind of a done deal because they were touring with Grand Champeen, so I went along with it….but they were playing first, dammit! After soundcheck their bass player went out of his way to sit next to me at the bar, extend his hand, and introduce himself as Shane. “Goddamnit,” I said to myself, “they’re really nice dudes too.” That was equally annoying. I had to begrudgingly admit that they were good that night, better than I’d given them credit for. Channing, the singer for Grand Champeen, was sick as hell, there was no one there, and it was otherwise a fairly miserable night. A few months later, Two Cow Garage released their second record, The Wall Against Our Back, and I got completely sucked in by the stripped-down production and balls-out execution of amazing songs that just completely resonated with where my musical mindset was at the time.

They’ve put out better records since, but I still have a soft spot for that one, and take some joy in prodding them even today to pull out one of those tunes occasionally (they never do). Over the next 16 years, I’d go see them when they came within an hour of Detroit, eventually weaseling my way onto most of their Detroit shows, and becoming dear friends with Micah and Shane (and Murph, Vanessa, Todd, George, and Jay), and I just think...God I was an asshole back in Hamtramck that November.

June 28, 2012 For a few years I wrote for a now-defunct Detroit blog called Motor City Rocks. I was asked by a friend, Sue Summers, to do a book review for a new book by Watershed’s bassist Joe Oestreich. Sue was an early champion of my music around these parts, she knew Watershed early on, and she’d been telling me I need to hook up with those guys since I’d met her in 1990. The book really connected. The opening scene takes place in Small’s (the same bar we played at with Two Cow Garage nine years earlier), one dude is playing Cheap Trick deep cuts on the jukebox while another is washing down Percocets with PBR. Next thing I know, the protagonist is pulling giant bong hits with the guy who was currently producing our first record at the time. To say the book hit home is an understatement. So on this night, June 28, 2012, Watershed was playing Small’s (same bar, again) after a book reading. I couldn’t make the book reading, but I made the show, met Joe for the first (and only) time, and enjoyed the set.

April 4, 2013 Jeremy Porter and The Tucos play Columbus for the first time, at The Tree Bar, a cool little place down a scary, dark alley that looks more like back-woods Mississippi than the middle of Ohio’s biggest city. I don’t remember much about that night, but I remember Roni was our bartender and had a heavy hand. I know that we’ve played there a bunch and none of the shows were amazing but they were all fun, and there were always good people around.

February 26, 2014 The Tucos opened the first night of Columbus-based singer/songwriter/guitarist Lydia Loveless’ tour for her album Somewhere Else at a sold-out, converted Ponderosa restaurant in Pontiac, MI. Trust me when I say that “The Tucos” and “sold-out” rarely appear in the same sentence, plus I was completely mesmerized by that record, so it was a big deal for us. I said hi to Lydia and we talked about Shane and Micah for a minute, but I kinda hit it off with her guitarist Todd May, who was digging our set, and hit it off even more with her bassist Ben, who was selling merch next to us at the end of the night. We’d play with her again in 2016, when she was supporting Real (my #1 record of this decade so far), again up in Pontiac, and I’ve been completely mentally immersed in her amazing music for five years now.

July 14, 2015 Somehow I was asked to play guitar and lend some backups on two songs Watershed had recorded but not finished for a summer single. On this day I drove out to The Loft in Saline, Michigan (where they’ve done most of their recording) to add my parts over their songs. I came prepared, and Tim Patalan (reference the bong hits above) seemed excited as we tracked. I tried to act cool, but I was just beside myself to do it. The songs, “Best Worst Night” and “Hey Lydia” happen to be my favorite songs they’ve ever done, but I am biased. Damn, that was fun.

July 21, 2015 I was surprised to wake to an email from Colin Gawel - Watershed’s singer/songwriter/guitarist - thanking me for playing on the songs (I’d had no direct contact with the band about the session, and I hadn’t met Colin yet) and complimenting me on my work. I was still in awe that they’d asked, and to this day I’m super proud of it.

September 17, 2015 Another sparsely attended but heavily imbibed show at Tree Bar on the 17th, memorable only because Two Cow’s then drummer Murph and his girlfriend Erin were there.  We traded war stories with him all night, and Erin and I bonded over our love of hair metal, and I told her all about the Saxon concert Gabe and I had just attended two nights prior in Detroit. She requested a W.A.S.P. song during our set, which sadly we couldn’t deliver, and I may or may not have promised to learn “Love Machine” next time through. (Please don’t hold me to it this time!)

September 18, 2015 The next morning The Tucos stopped at Colin’s Coffee for a triple espresso on our way to Louisville. We traded coffees for a record, had a good long chat, mostly about Cheap Trick, and have since become good friends, albeit mostly through email, text, and rock & roll. After that we stopped at The Starliner Diner in Hilliard, strongly suggested by Murph, and that’s been a priority every single time since. Possibly my favorite breakfast spot on Earth.

March 11, 2016 This was the last time we played Columbus, at The Tree Bar, to about five people. We were on a run with a band from Lexington and a band from Cincinnati and I don’t think there was a local on the bill. We ate at a nearby sandwich shop before the show. Our then-bassist Patty and I got tomatoes on ours, drummer Gabe didn’t. Patty and I would spend the next 16 hours climbing over each other in and out of the bathroom of that horrible Motel 6 room. Goddamn tomatoes.

September 7, 2016 My first article for Pencilstorm, the Columbus-based blog that Colin runs, was published. It was a review of a fairly forgettable Ace Frehley concert in the parking lot of a Harley dealer in suburban Detroit. I’ve since written a bunch for the blog, participated in a KISS Non-Makeup-Era Song fantasy album draft, gotten photo passes for a Steve Earle concert, typed up a Grant Hart obituary, and more. It’s a thrill to be on the roster.

December 9, 2017 I played a small, sold-out solo acoustic show with Two Cow Garage’s Micah Schnabel and his partner Vanessa Jean Speckman’s pop-up art show at the AirB&B Loft above PJs Lager House in Corktown, Detroit. We couldn’t find a venue worth doing, and PJ saved the day with a great idea. It’s the only show they’ve had up there, and was the perfect setting. I wanted to bring my little amp up but Micah talked me out of it, and it was the right call. No amps, no PA. Solo acoustic shows can be hit or miss, to put it generously. This was a special night and I was so happy to be a part of it. (photo credit: Marlissa Shwarz, in front of Vanessa Jean Speckman art on the door to the Claddagh Loft at PJ’s Lager House, Detroit, 12/9/2017.)

This coming Saturday, January 19, 2019, we are playing at the Rumba Cafe with Colin Gawel & The League Bowlers. We are on at 8 sharp and it’s pay what you want. That means it’s cheap and you can go to bed early. It’s our first show with our new bass player Bob, who’s never been to Columbus before. I can’t wait for him to meet you all and take him to the Starliner Diner for breakfast. We’ll be avoiding tomatoes. Come and make this our best Columbus show yet. I’ve paid my dues here. Xo

Jeremy Porter lives near Detroit and fronts the rock and roll band Jeremy Porter And The Tucos.     
www.thetucos.com

Follow them on Facebook to read his road blog about their adventures on the dive-bar circuit.
www.facebook.com/jeremyportermusic  

Twitter: @jeremyportermi | Instagram: @onetogive & @jeremyportermusic

www.rockandrollrestrooms.com

F#(K Cancer: The Musical @ Shadowbox Live, January 17th-26th - by Ricki C.

(editor’s note: By the very nature of the show, and the title, this article will contain profanity, so it might not be for the kiddies…….)

First off, a coupla paragraphs of facts, then some of the usual senseless/nonsense Ricki C. commentary……..

Fact: The Shadowbox Live production of Fuck Cancer: The Musical returns beginning this Thursday, January 17th, and continues through Saturday, January 26th, ticket info and all that good stuff found here: Shadowbox Live, Fuck Cancer: The Musical.

Fact: Fuck Cancer: The Musical grew out of an idea by Shadowbox founder & creative mainstay Stev Guyer after he was diagnosed with cancer. There’s a really informative article from Columbus Underground about show author Jimmy Mak and the creation of the musical from when the show debuted last summer linked here, in case you wanna read all about it: Columbus Underground / F#(K Cancer: The Musical. (I LOVE links. As a lazy rock & roll roadie/blogger, they make my job SO much easier.)

Fact: You should go see this show. I will explain why in my commentary.

Commentary: I first heard about this production in a phone call from my good friend & brother in the rock & roll Ed Hamell (aka Hamell On Trial). Sometime in the spring of 2018 Ed phoned to say he was gonna be writing the songs for a musical about people dying of cancer for Shadowbox Live. “A musical about people dying of cancer?” I said to Ed, “That sounds cheery. I think you’re just the man for the job.” Hamell and Shadowbox go way back. In the late 1990’s – YEARS before I became Ed’s road manager in the early days of the 21st century – Shadowbox would book Hamell On Trial into their 2Co’s Cabaret venue on High Street in the Short North.

I have to say, though, at no time in the ten years from 2000-2010 that Ed and I crisscrossed these United States do I remember either of us saying, “You know what would be a KILLER (pun intended) career move? Writing the songs for a musical about people dying of cancer.” But here we are in 2019 and I have to admit, Fuck Cancer: The Musical is a pretty genius idea by both Mak & Hamell, and once the Shadowbox band & actors breathe life into the story and the songs, the whole deal becomes a genuine tour de force.

Full disclosure: At the time Ed and Jimmy were collaborating on the writing of the show, both my beloved sister Dianne and my dear friend Mike Parks – the lead guitarist of Colin Gawel’s band The League Bowlers – had just died of cancer. (My brother had also just then passed away from complications of heart disease.) Given those realities, I can’t really say I was prepared to actually ATTEND the production when it debuted in June, 2018.

In actual fact it took me until late summer 2018, to buck up and go to the show on August 26th, the very last day of the first run of the musical. Ed had come into town to see the show for the first time, to witness the culmination of the songs he had written but had never actually seen staged since the early rehearsals back in April or May.

By the intermission of the show, I truly, truly regretted waiting until the very last day to see Fuck Cancer: The Musical, because it meant I couldn’t go see it again the next day; it really was THAT great, and THAT powerful. Jimmy Mak’s book and Ed’s songs melded into a truly heartfelt, moving story. I fully admit, I was initially concerned that the show might be cloying, or overly sentimental, or – at the other end of the spectrum – too cutting, and therefor painful to watch.

In the end, Fuck Cancer: The Musical was none of those things: it was simply wonderful, and moving, and simultaneously heartfelt AND heartbreaking, in the best possible way.

And the best thing? This Thursday, I get to go see it again. If you haven’t seen the show, I gotta say: GO! If you’ve seen it before I’m betting – like me – you’ll wanna go again. Do it. – Ricki C. / January 14th, 2019.

Shadowbox Live's® original musical celebrates the stories of triumph, the pain of loss, and the hope we find during our battles with our greatest common enemy. Go to www.ShadowboxLive.org for show info!

Ten Albums That Changed My Life - by Pete Vogel

With gratitude to both JCE (whoever that is) and CG, I am happy to share with Pencilstorm readers the top ten albums that changed my life. I could literally write a book on the subject, but I’ll keep it as brief as I can.

The reasons why I’d call these albums “life-changing” is because they helped form my soul during times of inner turmoil and confusion. Being raised Catholic—and attending Catholic schools for twelve years—was often oppressive. Catechism taught us one thing, family dynamics something else, and music became a third teacher.

Mom had a small collection of albums she bought when we were young: they included works by Carole King, Tom Jones, Jim Croce and James Taylor. But two albums she also had—and got the most attention—were The Nutcracker and Jesus Christ Superstar. They enjoyed a ton of spins from all four of us children and to this day I get emotional listening to them. At the time they represented a liberating freedom from the stifling conformity of Sunday mass and a disciplinarian father who reared his children after his role models: Woody Hayes and Bobby Knight. Dad wanted athletes and cheerleaders—I wanted a father who wasn’t a drill sergeant.

Per mother’s request, I took piano lessons in the second grade and hated it: joyless instructor, boring classical pieces and stuffy recitals. But mom purchased Elton John’s Greatest Hits and I didn’t know playing piano could be so much fun. I obviously didn’t have the talent to play like him, but to listen to his joyful glissandos gave me fodder for trying.

My older brother Jim was the braintrust to our siblings’ exposure to new music. He brought home Chicago VI around 4th or 5th grade and we played it nonstop on our record player. Between the vocals, horn section, great guitar riffs and impeccable drumming, I was hooked. I still remember listening to “Feeling Stronger Every Day” for the very first time. Life changing.

Every few months Jim would bring home a new album and expose his sibs to its magic. The next to have such an impact was the debut Boston album. I remember hearing “More Than A Feeling” on the radio and was immediately struck by the acoustic guitar, vocals, harmony guitars & undulating drums. I was hooked from the first stanza. The album was every bit of that and more. ”Foreplay/Long Time” was the first song I ever heard that I considered an anthem.

Around the same time Jim brought home Led Zeppelin IV and that had a similar impact. Who doesn’t remember the first time they heard “Stairway to Heaven”? Every song on that album was a masterpiece.

The next album Jim brought home was Yessongs. It was a live album and too “out there” for my tastes and I didn’t understand the songs at all. Too garish for my tastes. But Q-FM-96 became our favorite radio station at the time and “Roundabout” was on steady rotation. I fell in love with this song and eventually talked Jim into buying Fragile. To this day there is nothing that moves me quite like Yes music. It remains its own genre.

As much as I loved the edgy guitar riffs and powerful drums of Zeppelin and Boston, I always tried to nurture a softer side with my musical tastes. One band that thoroughly watered my soil was Electric Light Orchestra. I remember buying A New World Record at the Ohio State fair and coming home to share the album with my family. It was the first time that I introduced an album to the family, so you can say it was my first official step into autonomy.

But everything changed in 1978. Jim came home from school one day and brought me into the living room. “Listen to this,” he said. He put on Side II of The Kids Are Alright and my music crush became an obsession. “Baba O’Riley” was the song he chose and I was dumbstruck: bass, drums, angry guitar chords and the masculine rage of Roger Daltrey’s vocals. From that day on, I followed The Who like a jealous stalker. I was not right in the head.

It’s hard to say which of the following albums impacted me the most after The Who: there are so many albums that resonated with me that it’s hard to select just one. I’d have to say my tenth pick is actually a toss-up between a host of albums, chief among them: Never Mind the Bollocks (The Sex Pistols); Hemispheres (Rush); Live at Leeds (The Who); Quadrophenia (The Who); Close to the Edge (Yes); Grand Illusion (Styx); Misplaced Childhood (Marillion); Van Halen I (Van Halen); The Wall (Pink Floyd) and Out of the Blue (ELO). These albums transformed my life in ways that I never recovered from, and this is why I still stubbornly pursue a music career well into my fifth decade.

Thanks for reading. Looking forward to others’ posts!

Bp Divisional Round You Tube Dumpster Dive - by Brian Phillips

Well crap. I went 1-3 last week! Why? 1. The Chargers learned a lot from their first go at the Ravens. 2. The run wasn’t working, but the Seahawks didn’t let Russell Wilson go out and win the game for them. 3. Nick Foles can’t keep doing this can he? Also, “doink!”

Oh well. Gotta shake off the loser dust and more importantly find some cool throwback You Tube video so you have something to do at half time.

Indianapolis Colts at Kansas City Chiefs

Saturday January 12, 2019

Holy crap! Look what I found! The entire second ever Monday Night Football telecast from September 28, 1970. It was week two of the merged NFL and AFL. Keith Jackson, Howard Cosell and “Dandy Don” Meredith on the call. At the six minute mark is a real Marlboro TV ad. Cigarette ads had already been outlawed earlier in 1970. The ban would take effect the following year. I’m betting Marlboro bought a lot of T.V. time while they still could.

Speaking of legends and cigarettes this is Len Dawson vs Johnny Unitas. Dawson was coming off a Super Bowl where he smoked at half time, downed a warm Fresca, and then beat the Vikings 23-7.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of today’s pampered professional athlete. Fucking Dawson pulled up his own rusty chair, popped a soda loaded with cancer-causing Saccharin using Buck Buchanan’s teeth, and blazed up a heater from a pack he had hidden in his shoulder pads.

I love the pre-game interview where Johnny Unitas goes into unimaginable detail on his bum knee and exactly how the Chiefs could fuck him up during the game. Can you imagine Tom Brady answering that question?

My Pick: Colts 38 Chiefs 35

Dallas Cowboys at Los Angeles Rams

January 12, 2019

This seems like perhaps the easiest match up to find on You Tube from back in the day. In the ‘70’s both of those clubs were powerhouses. Before I do that though I want to show you a different Rams playoff game I found last weekend: The Mud Bowl!

The LA Coliseum was a swamp. You’ll never see this again. Drainage technology is just too advanced now. As an aside it’s also really cool to hear Vin Skully do football and reference a game from 1949 in the opening. Hell, why not, he was there! The Vikings would win the game 14-7 despite quarterback Fran Tarkenton sitting out with an injury. His understudy Bob Lee was actually born here in Columbus and was a proud 1968 17th round draft pick out of Pacific. (A school that no longer has a football team.) Thank God the draft doesn’t last that long any more. Cripes!

Speaking of Vin he was behind the mic two years later for one of the biggest plays in Rams history. Vince Ferragamo to Billy Waddy as 9-7 L.A. stunned the mighty Cowboys on the road. The Rams would make it all the way to the Super Bowl before losing to the Steelers.

Dig the now illegal cut block at the :54 second mark. ‘70’s guys did not give a shit about your knees. Not that it matters to Randy White, who jumped up in a vain attempt to swat that fateful pass anyway.

My Pick: Rams 28 Cowboys 24

Los Angeles Chargers at New England Patriots

Sunday January 13, 2019

Damn, did I have a hard time finding something cool connecting these two…. until…. I found a three minute highlight film of the 1963 AFL Championship. Not that exciting actually as the heavily favored Chargers crushed the 7-6-1 Pats 51-10.

My Pick: Chargers 34 Patriots 30

Philadelphia Eagles at New Orleans Saints

Sunday January 13, 2019

Not easy to connect these two either until you get to their 1992 Wild Card playoff match up. What a bummer for the Saints. They went 12-4 that season, but finished 2nd to the 14-2 49ers in the NFC West. (Yup, the Saints were in the west.)

Randall Cunningham and the Eagles scored 26 points in the fourth to beat New Orleans going away 36-20. It would be another 8 years before the Saints would finally win their first ever playoff game.

My pick: Saints 35 Eagles 23

You Say You Want a Resolution.....(2013) - by Colin Gawel

This story was originally published at Colingawel.com while the Earth was still cooling. Not long after, Pencilstorm was created so my smart friends could post their stories, too and make it more of a team effort. To be honest, I couldn’t remember if I had actually written a story about New Year’s resolutions or just thought I had. After 10 minutes of googling.. I found it. From January 3, 2013 …- Colin G. (2019)

_________________________________________________________________

Thanks to everybody who read "Hitless Wonder" or listened to "Brick and Mortar" in 2012. For reviews, the NPR story and basically a review of all the cool things that happened in the past year click here . It's cold out and "Superior" is edging towards 10,000 views. Watch it here   

You Say You Want a Resolution, Well You Know, We All Want to Change the World.

People often ask me, "Colin, how do you manage to juggle so many things and do them all so well? What is the secret to your success?"

Actually, that isn't exactly true. It's phrased more like, "Colin...Jesus, you look exhausted, are you OK?" 

Still, with a new year ringing in my ears along with the tinnitus, I would like to share my thoughts on successful habits and the value of New Year's Resolutions. 

"From Small Things, Big Things One Day Will Come", isn't just an under rated Bruce Springsteen B-side, it is also a phrase that is coincidentally the backbone of my personal survival strategy. I'm not one for resolutions in the traditional sense. I don't enter a new year and proclaim, "This is the year I finally finish my screenplay, slash my online porn consumption and run the Boston marathon!". No sir, not me. While big goals are dandy and may work for some, I've come to understand that for myself, If I achieve small goals on a semi- daily basis, eventually some form of productivity emerges from the rubble of the Holiday season. In the New Year I re-dedicate and tweek my system to focus on goals to help me create things I enjoy. Off the top of my head and in no particular order this year I would like: To write good songs, Compile all my solo recordings and release as a full length, start a band called "Why Isn't Cheap Trick in The Rock n Roll Hall Of Fame" that plays Cheap Trick covers and calls attention to this gross injustice, record new Watershed music and play a show in Minneapolis, make a Willie Phoenix Wiki discography page and write a really long, stupid essay about KISS. If I hope to accomplish just one of these worthy goals, I need two things: Energy and Time Management.

 Goal#1: Energy is everything. And I'm not talking about some sort of vague hippy energy or positive vibes or anything groovy like that. Or green energy or coal energy or energy drinks. No sir, I'm referring to actual "I'm not tired, I have some physical energy" energy.

See, "The Man" demands most my time working to break even at the coffee shop. As "President" of Colin's Coffee, my number one responsibility (outside of keeping the women's restroom clean) is to work as many hours for free as possible so everybody else gets paid. Once the bank, landlord, suppliers, utilities and employees are satisfied, I can continue working for free for another month. After the shop, my most important duty begins when I pick up Owen from school and give him some quality time doing whatever fun stuff he enjoys. You only get to be a parent once and I try to bring my 'A' game when the little guy and myself are together. Certainly, I'm not bringing the 'A' game to his college fund so some weekly trips to the zoo, one on one basketball, COSI and Dirty Frank's are the least I can do.

Creative time comes last. It may just be 45 minutes to work on a new song or essay about resolutions, but this is when I need some energy to do something worthwhile. If i want to write songs or stories or anything, it is my responsibility to make it happen. Sure, I had more time in my youth, but I do better work now ( I think) because I don't take free time for granted. For me, it is the 45 free minutes each day where the battle for an interesting life is fought. 

ENERGY = Sleep + healthy food + Working out.

SLEEP:  Be in bed reading a book by 9pm four nights a week so when I wake to go to the coffee shop at 5:30 am, i am semi rested for the upcoming day.

Healthy Food: when at the shop, no salt, sugar, bread or fat before noon. water, coffee, oatmeal, beans, veggies, etc. 

Working Out: I have to pick up Owen at 2:50pm so from 1pm until then I hit the gym even just to break a sweat. something is better than nothing. It's not like I'm going to be an Olympic poll vaulter or anything.

Or put another way: Starting at 9pm and stretching over a 24 hour period to the following night when I go back to bed at 9pm. I figure I have slept, eaten right and exercised for 20 of the 24 hours. That is a pretty good percentage in the big scheme of things. By 5 pm my will power is shot and I usually take one small sip of red wine and a tiny hit of crack. Actually, I drink a beer or five, cook dinner and write things like this.

Life is Long.  Time Is Short.

 Like most, I'm a flawed person who enjoys giving into temptation as much as the next. The idea that I am going to do a month long body cleanse or give up something "forever" is laughable. At this point, I know myself pretty well and safe to say forcing any such scheme would surely antagonize the devil in me to likely produce the exact opposite result I was striving for. Besides, did you know that some egghead genius types claim, "willpower is a limited resource you have to conserve?". Well they do. Read it here

I try to break each day into 24 hours and then win 20 of those hours.  

Goal #2-USE TIME SEMI WISELY: Maybe it was my Mom dying when I was relatively young or my life long infatuation with disasters, but I really don't take living for granted. I could die tomorrow and so could you. Tornado season is right around the corner. Shit happens. Would I like to spend my final hour listening to local sports talk radio? maybe. But I could probably do better. I've been trying to incorporate audio books to my workouts and drive time in the car. When there is free time at the coffee shop I try to hop on the computer and work on an essay or read a good book. Go hiking or take a walk when possible. I make an effort to stay offline and off the grid whenever possible. No matter how much fun, this is the #1 killer when it comes to spending time wisely. Airplane mode baby. To provide content, I can't spend all day scrolling through it. Exposure to art is good. Exposure to twitter ??

Resolution # 9......#9.......#9........#9..........#9.........#9.........#9..........#9........#9........#9.........#9.........#9

That doesn't mean anything but just going with the Beatles theme....

Reading back over this essay I am struck by two things: One: this is pretty boring and two: I think I make it sound like i actually execute this plan regularly. I don't. This is the goal, not the reality. Just last night I stayed up until 10:15 watching episode four of Homeland. Sunday I was drinking beer at band practice at 1pm.  Still, having a plan is better than no plan at all.  

To Recap  -   1) Bed by 9pm- 2) no sugar, salt, bread or fat before noon- 3) break a sweat -4) stay offline 5) play audio books when driving. 

Alas, that is the glory of the New Year Resolution. It provides all us weak-willed sinners a second chance to become our ideal selves. Isn't that what life is all about anyway? No matter what you have done in the past, it is always possible to have an outstanding day. And if you can have one, you can have two and from there you don't feel as guilty about the inevitable bender just over the horizon. Wishing us all good luck in 2013! - Colin

Colin Gawel is probably the last person on Earth who should be talking about resolutions. He has failed so spectacularly that a best-selling book "Hitless Wonders" was written about him and his band Watershed due to their historic lack of success. Yet, they happily press on. He is a father, husband, songwriter and coffee shop owner. He is currently trying to book his side band "Why Isn't Cheap Trick In The Rock n Roll Hall Of Fame?" at the Beachland Ballroom Thursday, April 18th, though the band, as of now, only exists in his head. Check out his music and more at www.colingawel.com 

Bp Wild Card Picks... Ok, But The Real Fun Is The NFL YouTube Dumpster Dive! - by Brian Phillips

The NFL playoffs are upon us, and I thought I'd pair my Wild Card round picks with one of my favorite time wasters: Dumpster diving into You Tube looking for some sweet vintage NFL content. Let's see what we can find!

Saturday 1/5/19

Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans.

The Colts were once in Baltimore, kids. The Texans were an expansion team awarded to Houston after their beloved Oilers moved in 1997. Fun fact: For two years they were the Tennessee Oilers. Our own Eddie George was actually part of the final team to play in Houston and the first in Tennessee. Here's proof!

Anyway let's see what else we can find.... 

Look what we have here! Monday Night Football November 1, 1976. Houston Oilers at Baltimore Colts!

The Oilers had some dudes! Billy "White Shoes" Johnson and stalwart Ken Burrough at wide receiver.  Curley Culp and Elvin Bethea on the d-line. How did this team go 5-9?! Bum Phillips was the damned head coach! I don't get it.

Perhaps my memory was clouded by all those awesome White Shoes TD dances. We used to pretend we were him on the playground.

On the other hand this was a damned good Colts club. 11-3 on the year. Sadly they were creamed in the divisional round against the Steelers that year. 

At any rate Bert Jones was on point with a 60% completion rate paired with 24 touchdowns and only 9 picks. Lydell Mitchell was a baller with his 1,200 yards on the nose paired with 60 catches for 555 yards. A truly underappreciated player of his era. 

Final score on 11/1/76: Colts 38 Oilers 14

My 2019 pick: Indianapolis Colts 27 Houston Texans 24

Saturday 1/5/19

Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys

Sorry, there's only one highlight. January 2007... playoffs... Ah shit!

As a life long Seahawk fan this is one of my favorite memories. Hardy har har har. As you can see Jason Garrett was not actually the coach. It was Bill Parcells. Weird right! It seems like Garrett took over in like 1996. 

This year? I can't go against Russell Wilson in this spot. He’s been dropping dimes all season!

My 2019 pick: Seattle Seahawks 30 Dallas Cowboys 27

Sunday January 6, 2019

Los Angeles Chargers at Baltimore Ravens

Well it shouldn't be difficult to find the San Diego Chargers facing the Baltimore Colts. 

Damn! We're back in 1981 and dumpy Memorial Stadium in Baltimore. Look! The baseball infield is still there! That was a real NFL field kids.

In 1981 we were at the height of Don Coryel's famed high flying Chargers offense with the great Dan Fouts at the helm. They weren't all pass though. Chuck Muncie rushed for over 1,100 yards and James Brooks over 500. 

The story of this team though would be told in the playoffs. The divisional round will always be remembered for Kellen Winslow and the "Epic In Miami." Playing hurt Winslow caught 13 for 166 and a touchdown in San Diego's 41-38 overtime win. Truly one of the NFL's all time great games.

Of course the following week San Diego would have to contest the AFC Championship game in Cincinnati... The infamous “Freezer Bowl” game. The Chargers went from 76 degrees in Miami to -9 and a stunning -59 windchill a week later in the Queen City. They didn't stand a chance. Has any club ever had a weirder two game run in the playoffs? I don't think so. Hey it was sunny that day!

Imagine how hard that carpet at Riverfront Stadium was! How tough were all these motherfuckers. Did anyone die? Possibly. It was a long time ago. 

Final score that day: Bengals 27 Chargers 7

My 2019 pick: Baltimore Ravens 21 Los Angeles Chargers 13

Sunday January 6, 2019

Philadelphia Eagles at Chicago Bears

When you talk about these two in the playoffs you can only reference one game, and it was 30 years ago this past New Year's Eve. THE FOG BOWL!

It was a strange day indeed. Warm and cold air colliding in a 15 block area around Soldier Field created a thick fog beginning in the second quarter. Players complained they couldn't see the sidelines. It was so bad CBS had to rely on sideline cameras so we could see anything! I'm looking at the one hour thirty six minute mark right now. I have no idea what’s going on.

Buckeye Mike Tomczak was at the helm for the Bears. He had a really terrible day, but so did Randall Cunningham for the Eagles. The Bears would do enough in a 20-12 win. 

This Sunday's forecast? Clouds and 39. 

My 2019 pick: Chicago Bears 20 Philadelphia Eagles 9