KISS Kountdown Starts April 1st. Ten Days of Kiss. In the Meantime Enjoy Paul Singing a Folgers Commercial

Love em' or hate em', and here at Pencilstorm we have people on both sides, KISS is finally getting inducted into the rock n roll hall of fame. The ceremony is set for Thursday April 10th, so starting Tuesday April 1st, Pencilstorm is surrendering to a full Kiss take over. Nothing but Kiss stories highlighting the good, the bad, and the ugly for ten straight days. Spread the word fellow members of the KISS Army. And you KISS haters too. Or should I say, Shout it, Shout it, Shout it Out Loud. P.S. submissions welcome. - Colin G.

For a taste of what is to come please click here to enjoy "Kiss Rocks vs Kiss Sucks" by yours truly. 

And without further adieu, here is everybody's favorite Starchild singing a Folgers commercial. (Shout out to Aaron Beck for sharing this)    And below that, a secret bonus track. Paul's vocal timeline on the song "Love Gun"

More News You Missed While Hearing About The Plane

This continuous reporting of the missing plane in the Indian Ocean reminds me of an eight year old giving me updates on the progress of their video game.  It seems like every 5 minutes I get a new report about meaningless progress they are making.  Listen folks, when you get to Level 12, beat the game, and actually find the plane, let us know.  Until then, let us know about some real news.

Sure, I'll give you guys kudos for starting to shed more light on the Mudslide in Washington.  But it took you three days to bring the story to the forefront and now all you're left with is interviews with family members looking for their loved ones.  Oh.... and a running tally of how many bodies they found.  Thanks for turning this sad news story into a sensational reality show.

As I was flipping through all the news stories last night, I was shocked to see another important news story buried beyond the plane, mudslide, government, Russia, etc. stories.

Did you know there was an oil spill in Lake Michigan the other night?

Yep. Seems like BP did it again. You can read about it here. Affected about a half a mile of Lake Michigan just above Indiana.

You know what's most pathetic about all this? Pencilstorm is starting to be your news source for real information. Hopefully, tomorrow I can get back to blogging about something fun.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Learn more about Wal Ozello and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here

Ricki C.'s Rock & Roll Videos You Oughta See, part the first: Sparks / "This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us"

(Ricki C.’s Rock & Roll Videos You Oughta See will be a continuing feature in pencilstorm, at least until Ricki gets bored or the readership finds a way to make him stop.  Videos will be mainly little-seen or off-the-beaten-rock-&-roll-path, except for weeks when maybe Bruce Springsteen plays in town and we goose up the juice a little bit to hype the shows. 

Ricki will provide an intro to the videos of not-more-than-500 words, because we all know it’s impossible for Ricki to try to tell a simple story without going off into 10 different tangents and then forgetting altogether what he’s talking about.)

Sparks started life as Halfnelson at the end of the 1960’s in Los Angeles, with brothers Ron & Russell Mael desperately wishing they were, say, Ray & Dave Davies of our Hallowed Kinks, or members of The Who, Pink Floyd or The Creation; wishing they were just about anybody ENGLISH, and nobody who played laid-back, stoned country-rock with patched jeans or downed-out heavy-metal with copious amounts of facial hair.  

They started out with three other L.A. boys (including Earle Mankey, later engineer & producer for The Beach Boys), but by 1973 were safely ensconced in their beloved, adopted England, with three sharply-dressed & coiffed, non-bearded British sidemen, and produced this, their masterpiece – “This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us.”

Reasons They Never Made It In America – Too smart, too pretty, too many lyrics, not enough qualludes, not Kiss enough.  (editor's note: Queen opened for Sparks back in 1973, NOT the other way around.) 

Optional Extra-Credit Additional Viewing – Enter "Sparks" plus “Wonder Girl” on YouTube. 

Mudslide in Washington? More Like An Avalanche of Dirt.

A buddy of mine at work said to me today, "Did you hear about the mudslide in Washington?"

Yeah... I had heard about it on CNN.  It was a :30 second clip wedged between the Chinese Satellites finding debris in the Indian Ocean and a graphic of a spotter plane flying in and out of Australia. 

"It was a square mile," he explained. "There's a shitload of people missing."

How big could a mudslide be?  CNN explained eight were dead.  I thought it was small news until I googled it and found out how big of a story it really was.  Eight people dead already, but another 108 are missing.

So how big is a square mile?  Let me put it in perspective. If you've ever been in downtown Columbus, Ohio, it's the distance between the river and US 71 and Spring Street to US 70. Or, that's about as half as wide as Manhattan from 59 street to 34th. We're talking practically the size of Put N Bay Island. And if you don't have an understanding yet, it's about the size of 485 football fields.

And don't really think about it as a mudslide.  Think about it as a side of a mountain collapsing and sending earth and water down the hillside in an area that's 485 football fields.  It's a massive avalanche except it's dirt not snow.

So take a moment and stop listening to all the crazy theories about where the plane landed and read this New York Times article. You'll be shocked, amazed, and saddened by the loss of life.

Learn more about Wal Ozello and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here

Hall & Oates Before Journey In The Rock Hall? Really? By Wal Ozello

Okay… it’s time for me to come up for air while editing my second book and address something that’s been bothering me for the past several months.

How the heck are Hall and Oates getting inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame before Journey?

Seriously.

Now I’m sure if Colin was here he’d be arguing that Cheap Trick should be getting in and I’m sure Ricki C. threw up in his mouth a little bit when I mentioned Journey.

But here’s the thing:

Journey falls into the category of “Aren’t they in the Hall of Fame already?” and Hall and Oates falls into the category of “Have they run out of A-list artists so they’re inducting them now?”

We all thought the Rock Hall was coming to their senses last year when they inducted Rush. But inducting Hall & Oates before Journey is evidence that still have their heads up their own ass.

Let me build my case:

Don’t Stop Believin’ is the most downloaded song on iTunes ever. Not last week. Not last month. Not last year.We’re talking the most downloaded song in the history of iTunes.Think about that for a moment.It’s been downloaded more than Stairway To Heaven, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, Imagine, Hey Jude, Shook Me All Night Long, Beat It, You Really Got Me, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Where The Streets Have No Name, and every other song written – including She’s Gone (which a Hall & Oates’ song).

Anyway You Want It is a turn up the radio song.You know those songs: Tom Sawyer, Born To Run, American Idiot, Push It, Whipping Post, Fight For Your Right To Party, Jack & Diane, and that one song by C&C Music Factory that no one knows the name to but if you heard it you'd recognize it.  These are songs that when they come on your car radio you instantly crank up the volume and start banging on your dashboard to the beat.  Rich Girl  and Kiss Is On My List  are change the channel tunes (those are Hall & Oates songs).

By now you may be preparing the argument that Hall & Oates have talent and that’s what got them into the Rock Hall. Journey has them beat on talent tenfold.

Name one person in modern music that has a better voice than Steve Perry. Okay… for those of you that had the brilliance to respond with Freddie Mercury here’s what Queen guitarist Brian May said, "Perry is a truly luminous singer, in my opinion—a voice in a million." Steve Perry’s nickname is “The Voice.” And if you’re arguing that Daryl Hall has a more bluesy voice than Perry, listen to this video comparison of Steve and Sam Cooke:

But here’s the thing… Steve’s not the only talent in the band. Check out this guitar solo from Neal Schon.

And Jonathan Cain is an amazing keyboardist. Folks, that’s the guy that wrote Faithfully, Don’t Stop Believin’, Who’s Cryin’ Now, and Separate Ways. For a better keyboard player you’d have to probably chose Gregg Rolie – the original Journey keyboard player. Both these guys have more talent in their pinky knuckle than Daryl Hall does in his whole hand when it comes to playing keyboards. Listen to this whole solo – it’s got rock, classical, and blues all mixed in:

Journey has had many extremely talented members weave in and out of their ranks over the years – a total of 13 people. Heck, they were founded by the members of Santana!

Now here’s the thing that I think is the capper: Journey’s music is a soundtrack to our lives. Don’t Stop Believin’ is the most amazing pick me up song. Several national baseball teams have used it as their anthem! Could you imagine Maneater as a baseball song (that’s a Hall & Oates song). More people have danced to Faithfully at their wedding than Sarah Smile (that’s a Hall & Oates song). More people have used Who’s Cryin’ Now or Send Her My Love to get over a bad breakup than any of those Hall & Oates songs. And think about all those people who got laid because of Any Way You Want It or Stone in Love.

Just look at Journey’s discography and you’ll see dozens of songs that last a lifetime. I bet the average person can’t even name five Hall & Oates songs that bring back a vivid memory of their high school years.

One last point. Some people may make the argument that Journey is corporate rock and doesn’t belong in the Rock Hall because they are too commercial. If that’s the case, what are they doing letting in KISS?

To all the members of Journey who got snubbed again this year and their fans, take listen to this song and hope for next year:

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

The Last Time Upper Arlington Played in the Final Four, Hitler Was Still in Power

This weekend, the Upper Arlington Golden Bears will be making their first appearance in the men's basketball final four since 1939. Back then, Hitler was chancellor of Germany while FDR was battling dust storms and the Great Depression here at home. Frank Lloyd Wright was building "Falling Water" and the Golden Gate Bridge had just opened. That year, the Golden Bears blew up like the Hindenberg in an electric storm burning up the competition and winning the Ohio high school Championship. But just as suddenly, the program disappeared like Amelia Earhart over the Pacific before finally returning to the big dance this year.

Having lived and worked in Upper Arlington for the past 17 years, I just had to make a note of what an amazing accomplishment this season has been. I can't imagine how much work these players and coaches have put in to get to this point.  It's been even more fun watching through the eyes of my ten year old son Owen. He takes his basketball to school everyday and sports his UA basketball gear with pride. To kids Owen's age, players like Kevin Vannatta and Danny Hummer (and Logan, Harrison, Wes, etc.) are rock stars on par with Aaron Craft and Andrew Wiggins. 

Just for some perspective, here are things that did not exist the last time UA made the final four in basketball:

Body Deodorant / Electric Hand Dryers / Tupperware / Twist Ties / Soft Serve Ice Cream /  Felt Tip Markers / Credit Cards / Lint Rollers / WD-40 /  

When the guys weren't practicing perhaps they were reading the latest new books "The Hobbit" or "Of Mice and Men" or catching "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" at the moving picture show. 

Anyway, win or lose, congrats to the Upper Arlington Golden Bears for an amazing season!

Colin Gawel owns Colin's Coffee in UA and writes things like this on slow mornings.  You can read all about his life in the best selling book "Hitless Wonder - A Life in Minor League Rock n Roll".