Main Course: The Fags (with a side of Watershed) - by JCE

Watershed will be opening for The Fags at Small's Bar in Hamtramck, MI, this coming Saturday night, October 8th.    

TEN YEARS AGO, AN AMAZING RECORD WAS RELEASED.  IT WAS ALMOST PERFECTION, EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE MAJOR FLAW…..

It’s been almost exactly 10 years since the release of one of my favorite records on the planet.  I learned of this anniversary by total coincidence as I sat down with an idea to write about some (any) great, great record that had one flaw that bothered me. I thought I might write about London Calling by The Clash having both records crammed into one jacket and not listing the song “Train in Vain (Stand By Me)” on the back but that really doesn’t bother me that much.  I’m a little OCD, but come on, it’s The Clash so who cares?  It didn’t take me long to figure out what record was the perfect fit; that one record that is so perfect and yet has that one fatal flaw.  The amazing record I decided to write about, which as it turns out is going to be 10 years old on October 31st, is called Light ‘Em Up by The Fags.  This is one of those records on which every song is spectacular.  The artwork is edgy and I like it a lot.  The record title is perfectly rock ‘n’ roll.  The name of the band is…..unfortunately horrible.

The Fags were (are) a band from the Motor City, Detroit, Michigan.  The band is fronted by the excellent John Speck.  The Fags came along after John’s mildly successful band Hoarse, which was not remotely as good as The Fags in my opinion.  Watershed fans will remember a split single with Hoarse from around 1997.  Watershed fans also will know that Fags bass player Tim Patalan has been a valued collaborator/producer for Watershed.  So anyway, I had this theme and this band in mind – great record, one fatal flaw – and by pure coincidence, the record is being celebrated with a live show to commemorate its tenth anniversary, and Watershed is opening.  Damn I wish I was a few hours closer to Michigan so I could see that show.

But let me talk more about Light ‘Em Up.  This record did not go totally unnoticed.  Spin Magazine listed it as one of forty great records in 2006.  I haven’t seen the list, but I guarantee Light ‘Em Up was better than probably every one of the records they listed, whatever they were.  The record had eleven songs on it.  I’ll get to my favorite in a minute, but let’s start with “Truly, Truly.”  That song could have been a big radio hit, but I’m willing to bet that there were a lot of radio stations passing on playing a song by a band called The Fags.  I should say that I don’t know why they chose that name for the band, maybe there was a great reason for it, but I wish they hadn’t.  I read an article that seemed to suggest that they were just messing around when they did a gig as the Smokin’ Fags and after that it just stuck.  That’s a shame.  My personal favorite song on the record is “Mistake.”  The song just oozes regret: “I just can’t help thinking we’re making a big mistake.”  That line and the way it is sung gives me a chill even now.  My favorite lyric on the record (also from “Mistake”) is “I try to do what’s right, but what’s left keeps egging me on / It may end up on my face, that’s the risk that I take.”  I also can relate to the line “The radiator hisses in a soft assuring way.”  

The song “List” is right up there, as is “Rockstar.”  “List” has that great line “I sat down to write a list of every girl I ever kissed / I couldn’t remember them all, I guess it’s a case of selective recall.”  And “Rockstar” just makes you feel good—“Grab the keys off the counter, check the mirror on the way out….You’re a rockstar on a Saturday night.”  The title track is an instant classic as well.  I could make a good case for the brilliance of every track.  Light ‘Em Up is just a great rock and roll-power pop-whatever you want to call it record from start to finish.  It should have been HUGE.  Light ‘Em Up was actually completed in 2005 but sat on a shelf for an extended period.  Just like Watershed and countless other great bands, the recording industry completely failed The Fags, but their name almost certainly had something to do with their fate. 

If you go to the anniversary celebration show at Small’s Bar in Hamtramck, Michigan on October 8th please tell me how it was.  A chance to see Watershed and The Fags at a small club together on one night is a chance not to be missed.  And it’s on a (Rockstar) Saturday night!  I really should be flying up there from Virginia.  I wish that John and Tim and drummer Jimmy Paluzzi would extend their reunion after this show, change their name and give it another shot.  At the very least, I wish they would go on a tenth anniversary tour down the east coast (and bring Watershed with them of course).  

BREAKING NEWS:  The Fags are planning to release a new record containing some old demos and outtakes, and you can get in on funding that now! – JCE

Keep hope alive! The North Coast Posse tackles your questions as the Browns head into a week 4 match-up with Washington.

Keep hope alive!  The North Coast Posse tackles your questions as the Browns head into a week 4 match-up with Washington.

Q:  The Browns are 0-3, have played four QBs in three games and lost their 1st round draft pick to injury, yet I am still enjoying the season immensely.  Did I smoke some of Josh Gordon’s weed?  What gives?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  During the fourth-quarter of last week’s game, I definitely could have used some of Flash’s ganj to take the edge off.  You are right, though.  This season has been exciting and heartbreaking so far.  If not for poor special teams, the Browns could easily be 2-1.  Going into this season, we said that the record might still be ugly, but that the team will keep you watching all year.  That is because—despite the facts that they are down to a rookie, third-string quarterback, have lost their starting center and two rookie starters to injury, and their best offensive weapon just checked himself into rehab—this is not the “same ol’ Browns.”  There has been a lot of turn-over on the roster, which is now teeming with young and hungry players.  Also, the coaching staff has shown creativity on both sides of the ball, which has leverage the strengths of the players that they do have.  No, my friend, this truly is a new era for the Browns.  They still kind of suck, but it is a team with pride, and it is on the rise.

Big $:  I’m right with you, mainly because we’re getting to see ex-Buckeye Terrelle Pryor transform into an NFL tour de force.  However, I’m also impressed by the effort shown by the young players and coaching staff.  It would have been real easy to fold after Kessler’s 1st couple series last week (see Johnny Manziel’s 1st start).  But adjustments were made and they battled (forgive the Pettine-ism) on.

Q:  Speaking of Josh Gordon, breaking news is that he is headed to rehab. Couldn’t he have done this anytime in the LAST TWO years while he was suspended instead of right before he is actually able to finally play again?

Big $:  I’m concerned that our fan base learned nothing from Johnny, and are again willing to apply martyrdom to a guy who refuses to get his life together, even with all the supports he has in place. This guy has serious issues that expand beyond weed, and I hope they are identified and replaced before he hurts others.

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  Dude apparently hasn’t hit his bottom yet.  Cris Carter has said a million times that the best thing that happened to him was his release from the Eagles.  That was when he realized the real impact his substance abuse was having on his life and those around him.  I was very excited for Gordon to return, but the Browns just need to send his ass packing now.  If not for his own sake, then because the fans can’t take this anymore.  When I heard the news that he was entering rehab, I looked to the heavens and wailed, “Why do the righteous suffer?” just like Job.

Q: Hugh Jackson’s game plan against the Dolphins was inspired. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons. What do you think of the new coach so far?

Big $:  I’m head over heels for this staff. The vision and creativity they have shown will start to pay serious dividends as the young players gain experience and more talent is acquired.

Q:  Meanwhile, Terrelle Pryor couldn’t make the team last year, now he is the best player on the field for either side against Miami. Is that Paul Depodesta finding value where the previous regime couldn’t see it?

Big $:  I’ll say this, watching what Theo Epstein is doing in Chi town, makes me believe this is a good time to have ivy leaguer analytic freaks run your organization.

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  I don’t know if it takes a genius to see that Pryor is one of the most physically gifted athletes in the league (let alone that you could pick him up for a song).  I think the emergence of T.P. says more about his new-found maturity and the work he has put in to become a legitimate receiving threat, than it does about the front office.

Q:  As crazy as it sounds, should the Browns lock down T.P. with a contract extension ASAP?

Big $:  I tried to find the “hell yes” font, but caps will have to suffice HELL YES.  As a full offensive weapon,  he has only scratched the surface.

Q:  The defense has improved every week. What is up?

Big $:  It’s documented that I am no fan of defensive tackle Danny Shelton, but he’s playing like a pro lately. Dude is steppin’ up. It’s a good time to 2 be a Huskie.

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  I agree that the defensive line has played much better than expected, but they are getting solid production from everyone.  The run defense, which has ranked at the bottom of the barrel the last couple of years, is currently ranked in the middle of the pack, and the defensive backfield has really improved.

Q:  Who on offense impresses? 

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  Cody Kessler played surprisingly well last week once he got settled.  He showed good-decision making, and I think he will continue to improve with more practice reps, as well as game action.  There are questions about his arm strength, but he throws an accurate ball and keeps a cool head.  I think they need to keep starting him even after Josh McCown is ready to return.

Big $:  Obviously I love T.P., but I’m also impressed with The Crow’s burst through the line. Feed him more.

Q:  Who should LeBron start for this week?

Big $:  You know what, I feel good for once.  Let LBJ focus on the preseason and developing chemistry with Mike Dunleavy, Jr. (aka the most underrated off season acquisition in the NBA).

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  I want LBJ to take over as Josh Gordon’s drug counselor.  LeBron is easily the most upstanding sports megastar since Wayne Gretzky.  I mean even Peyton Manning is accused of giving a female athletic trainer a Roman helmet when he was in college.  Flash could use LeBron’s positive influence and solid advice in his life.   

Q:  What games suddenly look like we might have a shot to win?

K-Dubs, the Soldier:  I think they get over the hump this week against Washington.  The Browns should be competitive in most of the rest of the games, with the best chances to win in road games against Tennessee, Baltimore, and Buffalo, and in the home finale against San Diego.

I Can't Think of Anything to Ask About Rutgers? Baver Answers Anyway

Colin: How much time do you think Urban spent preparing for Rutgers on bye week? Do you think they are already looking ahead to tougher match-ups?

Brent: He probably spent more time than you would think preparing for Rutgers. Urban is now 38-10 against the spread when he has more than 7 days to prepare for an opponent. So, during bye weeks, Urban has to have some real focus on his upcoming opponents no matter how bad they are. But, I am sure there was some time spent planning for Wisconsin, Sparty, and Michigan, as well.

Colin: I really can't think of anything to ask about Rutgers. Is there anything we should be concerned about?

Brent: They’re #1 playmaker (basically their only playmaker) on offense and special teams, Janarion Grant, just went down for the year with an ankle injury. And one of their better defensive players, rush end Quanzell Lambert was also just lost for the season. I don’t know how this Rutgers team was going to compete if these guys were healthy. Their best hope is Meyer having mercy on his former defensive coordinator Chris Ash.

Colin: Notre Dame loses at home to Duke and LSU fires Les Miles? How big of trouble are those programs in?

Brent: Duke has been solid the last 5 years or so, but had looked horrible this season prior to the Notre Dame game. Losing to Duke on your home field is a disgrace. They are probably looking at a 5+ loss season.

LSU may be looking at a 5+ loss season as well, still having to face Florida, Ole Miss, Bama, Arkansas and A&M. We’ll see if Ed Orgeron can get more out of their talent than Miles did.

Colin: How good are Wisconsin and Michigan?

Brent: Wisconsin is definitely a top-25, maybe a top-15 team, but the final score against Sparty doesn’t tell the whole story. Two turnovers translated directly into two of Wisconsin’s TD’s. But I am a bit concerned about the Buckeye’s night game in Madison; that place will be insane.

Michigan is the real deal. Speight is looking good, and their defense is top-notch. Brady Hoke offenses didn’t score more than 34 points in any of his last 11 games at Michigan, and Harbaugh offenses have scored 45+ in all four games this year.

Colin: How bad are Iowa and MSU?

Brent: Iowa looks like their reverting back to being Iowa, with last year’s 12-0 regular season looking like a mirage. They are mediocre at best. Michigan State, as mentioned above, isn’t as bad as the score indicated against Wisconsin. But….this isn’t one of Sparty’s better teams, I don’t think.

Colin: Earle Bruce is dotting the I this Saturday at the shoe. An honor well deserved but how good of a coach was Earle compared to his Buckeye contemporaries?

Brent: I wasn’t a huge fan of Earle as a coach, but have become a much bigger fan of his with the loyalty he has shown Ohio State. But as a coach, he didn’t recruit well and really left the program in bad shape for John Cooper. I would probably put him at the bottom of the list of coaches that have been here in my lifetime, behind Woody, Coop, Tress and Urban.

Colin: Give us an update on your picks so far and what games and lines will you be watching this week?

Brent: Awful…4-9 ATS. Had a feeling the luck may be running out after being well over .500 picking games ATS here each of the last two years. I think you take Ohio State laying the 38 ½. The game is a mismatch, and with Janarion Grant out, Rutgers may get shut out. I like the Bucks 48-7. You have to take Clemson at home, I think, getting the 2 points against Louisville. Tough to get in front of the L’Ville freight train right now, but Clemson has to feel very disrespected getting points at home. I had Louisville as a playoff-team a week ago, but now lean Clemson as the ACC’s playoff team. And I think things fall apart for Wisconsin this week, with their 2nd straight big road game. Take Michigan laying the 10 ½ against the Badgers.

Watch This Interview with Colin on the Not So Late Show.

If you haven't had a chance to check out The Not So Late Show hosted by Johnny DiLoretto, you are missing out. Along with co-host Sommer Sterud and house band MOJOFLO, Johnny interviews all sorts of interesting folks from the 614. Taping is the last Thursday of the month at the Shadowbox Bistro, advance tickets are available or you can just show up at the door. The next show is Thursday, September 29th. Click here for more details. Below is an example of the good times rolling with Pencilstorm's own Colin Gawel.

Colin Gawel is the front man for WATERSHED. Johnny interviews Colin about his latest book and the significance Columbus has on the music industry. For more information about the show, please visit our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/JohnnyDiLorettoNSLS/ Show held at Backstage Bistro, Brewery District, Columbus, Ohio.

"Dad, That Wasn't a Celebration, That Was a Tribute" - by Colin Gawel

Last year, my son Owen suddenly announced he wasn't going to play flag football anymore. I was mildly surprised, as he had always enjoyed it  but could understand that with most of his friends now playing tackle ball at middle school, it probably wasn't very cool anymore. And yeah, compared to the other sports he plays like basketball and baseball, flag football is a pretty loose ship. Everybody on the team plays the same amount and everybody has to get mostly equal touches. They don't even practice during the week. So for a kid like Owen who is "in it to win it" as they say, I could understand his decision.

So I was surprised this year when he suddenly announced, "I think I want to play flag football again."After all,  we do live in Columbus, Ohio, home of the Ohio State Buckeyes so I guess he figured after a year off, SOME football is better than no football. We signed him up past the deadline and lucky for us they had room to add him to a team.

Last Sunday, he caught a ball in the flat, made a couple of moves and took it to the house. Once in the end zone, he assumed a position like he was a baseball pitcher, did a full wind-up, dropped the ball and followed through with his arm motion. He gave a big strike sign like an umpire and then dropped to one knee and pointed both hands to the sky.

I thought, "That's a pretty good one." Most kids in flag football do some kind of dance or celebration after they score, so I've seen the dab, superman & others many times. And it isn't like the kids are showing off. Like I said, flag football is all about fun. In fact, Owen's coach this year has a rule that celebrations are mandatory if your score. 

So later that night, watching WWE Clash of Champions at home he said, "Dad, what did you think of my tribute today." "What do you mean?" I asked. "You know, after my touchdown?" Owen replied.

"Oh, your celebration. Yeah, that was a pretty clever one."

He muted the sound on the TV: "Dad, that wasn't a celebration, that was a tribute." I paused. "I guess I don't understand." He explained, "I told myself that if I scored a touchdown today I was going to do something to honor Jose Fernandez." For those who don't follow MLB, Jose Fernandez was an all-star pitcher for the Miami Marlins who was tragically killed in a boating accident the night before. He was only 24, full of talent and loved by fans and teammates.

"So that wasn't a celebration. That was a tribute because I'm sad Jose Fernandez died and I was thinking about him. We are both pitchers you know."

How stupid I am? I didn't even recognize what he was doing with the fake pitch and the point to heaven. "Owen, that's about the nicest thing I've ever heard. I'm sure Jose appreciated it."

We went back to watching wrestling. 

Colin Gawel owns Colin's Coffee and plays in the band Watershed. You can read about him in the book Hitless Wonder or see the band in Detroit Saturday October 8th. He is currently reading the latest book by Chuck Klosterman. 

Why Veep and Hamilton Matter More Now than Ever - by Amber Huston

Politics of the Present, the Past, and the Performing Arts: 
Getting Confused about 2016

If you are an American, you are probably tired of hearing about politics right now. I am an American and constantly surrounded by it, so it’s something on my mind, and so something I’m going to talk about. So read at your own risk.

I suppose I am bringing this upon myself, though. I’ve immersed myself in politics - besides just trying to keep up with the current election drama, I’ve also been into politics historical and fictional. I have been listening almost constantly for the past four months to the cast recording of the hit Broadway musical Hamilton, a show about none other than our very own first treasury secretary of the United States, Alexander Hamilton. On top of that, I’ve been religiously listening to the podcast Pod4Ham, in which groups of people break down each individual track from the cast recording. Yes, spending like 30 minutes discussing a 2-minute song.  I’ve also been binge watching the HBO series Veep, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus. It’s basically about modern U.S. politics, but in an alternate universe.

When I was walking the other day, listening to Pod4Ham, mulling over it all in my brain, I had a strange experience. It was subconscious, so I don’t remember what it was about specifically, but basically I started thinking about the historical American politics that happened at the time of Hamilton in terms of current U.S. politics. After I realized this, I also realized that while I watch the TV show Veep I’m doing the same thing. Basically I am getting confused. Which is an easy thing to get while thinking about US politics this year.

I think it’s happening because there are a scary amount of parallels between our current political climate, the political climate of two centuries ago, and fictionalized political climates people make up for the purpose of humor. 

That’s what is really getting me. Veep, a show that - when you get down to it - is really just trying to make you laugh, seems realistic. Julia Louis-Dreyfus has said in multiple interviews I’ve listened to [I’m not obsessed with her, I swear!] that if she had proposed some of the events that have happened during this election cycle as a storyline to the show creators, they would have said it is too ridiculous and unrealistic. And yet, here we are. She’s also said that folks in Washington claim it’s the most accurate portrayal of the world inside U.S. politics they’ve ever seen in mainstream media. This should be concerning to anyone who watches the show. 

All of the drama in the show has also given me a little bit of sympathy for our leaders. Although the storylines are completely fictional, you can see how these situations could manifest in some form in the real world, how politicians are constantly scrutinized and how they somehow have to please everyone to keep themselves afloat. 

I love Veep because it satirizes our entire political system. The folks working on the show make a point to not assign her to a specific political party, just put her out there as a politician.  [I figure she is definitely a Democrat, but that’s a think piece for another day.]  As much as I appreciate satirizing the opposite end of the political spectrum of me, I find it wonderful that this show can connect with people on both sides of the aisle. Those on the left think it’s about those on the right, and those on the right think it’s about those on the left. It proves that all politicians are universally slimy. What a pleasant sentiment. 

Are we hopeless? How did we possibly get to this point where our current politics are literally stranger than fiction? That’s where Hamilton comes in to ground us. While we are currently a mess, this is nothing new. Don’t worry, America is not going to hell, we’ve always been like this, we’ve always been on the brink. We had an especially rough start. *Spoiler alert,* but Hamilton is killed in a duel with the Aaron Burr, the Vice President of the United States. That really happened folks, the VP killed a man. And didn’t even get in trouble for it. They threatened each other, they blackmailed, they back-stabbed. It’s just the nature of politics, the nature of humans, really.

With that said, I don’t mean that this isn’t a scary time, because it is. I’m just hoping that since we’ve made it this far, we’ll find a way to unite [enough] and get out of the messy situation we’re in now.  

All the while, I would recommend to anyone who hasn’t delved into Hamilton or Veep to do so, especially now, while they are more relevant than ever. Hamilton is probably the most brilliant piece of art I have listened to in my life, and Veep is just downright hilarious. And maybe some of the current American politics will start making sense to you too.

Amber Huston is a graduate student studying geology at Kent State University, having completed her undergrad at Thee Ohio State University. When not outdoors playing with rocks, she is hosting her show on Black Squirrel Radio [listen here: http://blacksquirrelradio.com/ ] or wasting time on the internet [follow on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/TheeAmberH uston]. She loves to travel but is restricted by the fact that - as a student - her net worth is a negative number.