Surrealism in the Art of Honore Sharrer - by Anne Marie

A DANGEROUS WOMAN: SUBVERSION AND SURREALISM IN THE ART OF HONORÉ SHARRER is on display at the Columbus Museum of Art until Sunday May 21st. Click here for more info.

On Mother’s Day after brunch, we headed to the Museum Shop at the Columbus Museum of Art because the kids wanted to buy me a present of their own and I can usually find cool earrings, a necklace or other unique things I love in museum shops. Cameron asked whether I had seen the exhibits and I told him I had seen all but the main exhibit and we decided to go see A Dangerous Woman: Subversion and Surrealism in the Art of Honore Sharrer.
Good call. This is a must see exhibit, on view only through May 21!

This is the best curated exhibit I have seen at CMOA.  None of us had ever even heard of Honore Sharrer prior to entering, and yet the exhibit provided everything we needed to understand and appreciate her art as a reaction to a world which tried, luckily unsuccessfully, to subjugate her.   
I found her social, political and religious commentary to be deliciously biting!  I had so many favorites that it’s hard to narrow the field but “Reception”, “Before the Divorce” and “Resurrection of the Waitress” are a few I recall in extreme, glorious detail.  “Reception” was particularly subversive because Honore, who, together with her husband, had been forced to leave the United Stated States and live in Canada for a period due to their left-leaning politics during the Cold War years, places Senator Joseph McCarthy, FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover and Cardinal Francis Spellman at an opulent reception, all the while softening the effect by adding various birds throughout.  “Who me?  Be subversive?  I’m just a housewife painting a party with beautiful birds.” Cameron found “Mother Goose”, her painting of three teenage boys so caught up in their posturing in the foreground that they completely miss a young, naked Mother Goose flying by in the background to be so dead on that he marveled at a woman’s ability to capture that feeling.  
CMOA asks viewers why they think Honore Sharrer was considered such a dangerous woman.  The exhibit’s notes throughout suggest that Sharrer’s art was thought-provoking and disruptive. Sharrer’s willingness to poke fun at, and even mock or deride, established institutions was challenging for Cold War society, and especially so coming from a woman.

If you can make it down to the CMOA by May 21st, you will not be sorry!  Museum admission is free to members on Sundays. - Anne Marie

Dan Cochran Celebrates the Release of Hilltop Lager by Playing Bass

Four String Brewing Company founder Dan Cochran is no poser. His beer isn't some brand whipped up in an ad agency conference room in Zurich. It was whipped up in his head while playing bass for bands such as Big Back 40, The Lonely Bones and Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Put simply, the dude brews killer beer. And he also plays bass. On Friday May 12th, Dan will be introducing his latest creation - Hilltop Lager - with an International Can release party at both of his Columbus Four String locations. (click here for more details)

As the party winds down at the taprooms, Dan will be lugging his rig over to Woodland's Tavern to play bass with the semi-legendary bar band League Bowlers. Seems like a very long day for the father of two with another on the horizon. Dan would have it no other way. "Hilltop Lager is a beer for the working man and The League Bowlers are a working man's band. It's a perfect fit. I'm excited to share this new beer with the world and then play some lager fueled rock n roll. I'd have it no other way. Hope everybody can join us at one venue or both."

The Four String Taprooms will be open 4pm until late. The League Bowlers will be onstage at Woodland's Tavern 9:30-11 pm. Admission is FREE to all events

Related reading: English Pub Rock and The League Bowlers.  Dan Cochran Talks about playing in Why Isn't Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? . The Real Story Behind Four String Brew. .

 

 

WWE Payback - Not that Kind of Horrible by Big Vin Vader

WWE Payback    -    Not that Kind of Horrible   follow @Bigvinvader

This is gonna be a different sort of write-up, and I’m going to take the unpopular opinion and spend most of my space praising Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton’s controversial House of Horrors match.  But before all of that, a few notes on Payback as a whole.
    The show had a lot of promise going in, despite its clearly transitional nature.  The fact that several of the competitors were to immediately be split between brands the following day looked to bring several long-running storylines to satisfying conclusions.  Beyond that, all but two of the matches promised to be very solid affairs, and Owens/Jericho, Rollins/Samoa Joe, and Aries/Neville looked to be very good.  Only the House of Horrors match and Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman held little promise, and both of those actually exceeded my expectations.
    In execution, the show delivered on many of its promises, and there were even a number of positive surprises along the way that served to spice things up a bit as well.  Overall, Payback was one of the better WWE PPV’s this year, with a number of very good matches, some very stiff and believable ring work, and some very crowd-pleasing conclusions and twists.  No match was truly bad (at least in my opinion), and even the midcard and less-anticipated bouts proved worth their time on the show.  The finishes left a lot to be desired at times, but I’ll get into that later.
    Now on to the meat of this column…

Bray’s House


The House of Horrors match raised so, so many questions, and seemed destined to be an enormous failure.  The fact that nobody had any clue as to what such a stipulation would entail until the week of the show did it no favors, nor did the ultimate news that the match was to be partially pre-taped.  People have soured on the Randy Orton-Bray Wyatt feud, but it’s stayed interesting to me.  This is the first time that Randy Orton has actually captured my attention as a wrestling fan, and the story has been building since last fall which is impressive in this day and age.  Things took an undeniably ridiculous turn with the desecration of Sister Abigail’s ashes, but that absurdity is part and parcel of wrestling.  Hell, I even liked the insect projections at WrestleMania.
    But even I was skeptical going into the House of Horrors.  I shouldn’t have been, given my love of horror and wrestling, and as the video package unreeled before the match, I realized that there was potential for the HOH to be legitimately creepy, something that would easily hold my interest.  In fact, just like a good horror movie, going into this one knowing nothing about the match, save the background storyline, proved to be a huge help.  Flat out, I thought that the pre-taped portion of the match was a fun, unique, and somewhat startling exercise in atmosphere.  Sure, it was ridiculous, and a little cheesy, but there were some undeniable touches of legitimately disturbing effects, and the flat-out brawling style the two wrestlers adopted perfectly suited the stipulation.  
    Things got off to a strange, nearly disheartening start, as Orton showed up to Bray’s rural shack in a limo.  I was expecting more of a Gothic mansion, not a ramshackle farmhouse (on the outside, at least).  Then, in one of a few missteps, a tractor started up and drove itself, unmanned, in front of Randy.  This really bugged me the first time I watched the match, since it was so stupid in effect, and the only supernatural element in the match.  Second time around, I was more insulted and confused by the fact that the tractor was driving itself backwards.  Still not sure why that’s where my feelings stand.  Regardless, it was all uphill from there.
    Despite the exterior looking like an Ohio farmhouse, the interior of Bray’s house was a bit more contemporary.  What we got was a fully-furnished house with some undeniably subtle touches of squalor, which, for the most part, were not the hackneyed attempts at horror movie scenery I expected.  Instead there were cobwebs in the corners of rooms, lamps with tilted shades casting queasy yellow light, and couches and chairs covered in white shrouds like they hadn’t been used in months.  Of course, there were shots of hooks and sickles and such things, but they really could have been anywhere in the house.  The overall impression at this point was of a semi-rural crank house.  Somewhere people lived and did hard drugs in semi-squalor while still functioning enough to prevent things from falling into complete disrepair.  But there was still the sense that things had gone very poorly, that there was a definite turn to something darker, more sinister and violent.  Hence the ensuing brawl.
    It gave not only an insight into Bray’s world, but also peeled back the curtain to reveal some vulnerability.  What if he isn’t a supernatural cult leader, but a delusional, paranoid, drugged-out freak living in the recesses of middle America and casting his influence over similarly-afflicted individuals?  Hell, even take the drugs out of the equation and you still have a compelling, if unlikely, character profile.  The attention to detail, and I mean beyond the hokey mutilated dolls, painted symbols and stick effigies, really drove the overall atmospheric effect home.  The house itself was well-enough maintained, but certain things were off.  The cobwebs in the corners, the drywall ripped away to reveal brick in the hallway, the exposed wires in the walls, the streaks and stains marking the wallpaper in the kitchen and doll room.  In the kitchen, there was an outlet stripped of its faceplate, and a sink full of dirty dishes.  The fridge was smeared with a greasy, charcoal-like substance, bizarre messages written on its surface.  There was dust and grime on the tacky linoleum floor tiles, and the oven had an honest-to-god streak of grease dripping down its door.  That was real work put in, and the whole thing added up to a uniquely unsettling atmosphere that has rarely been touched upon in the world of pro wrestling.
    The whole thing was so undeniably grimy and real, a visceral recreation of actual squalor and the sorts of conditions that can drive someone to violence, or at least the backdrop that it can play out against.  Bray and Randy looked like they were legitimately fighting for their lives, using everything at hand—a lamp, a frying pan, even (ridiculously) the refrigerator—to ensure they made it out alive.  In this way, the whole thing touched more closely on the real-world horrors of violence and crime than Bray’s usual supernatural shenanigans. There was no chance that the in-ring portion of the match could hold a candle to this in my mind as soon as the segment was over.  It really was nothing but a brawl, almost entirely in Bray’s favor, as the home field advantage would suggest.  If you showed this match to anyone unfamiliar with the storyline, and especially anyone who hates wrestling, it would look like two sweaty, heavily-tattooed men desperately beating the hell out of each other in a filthy house.  
    The audio was the only major mistake, after the tractor, in my opinion, since the whole thing was scored with a soundtrack giving the intimation that this was meant to be scary.  It was the sort of cheap horror movie trick that the match itself stepped above.  Also, in the doll room (which of course was way too over-the-top to be taken seriously), we got overdone crying and giggling noises from some sound library.  Way too cheesy.
    There was talk of this being a pale imitation of Delete or Decay, but I was reminded more of the first Boiler Room Brawl between Mankind and the Undertaker at SummerSlam 1996.  Mankind was still a legitimately deranged, threatening heel, helping to revitalize the Undertaker’s career.  He squeaked and squealed like a pig going to slaughter while he fought, and the match itself made perfect use of the squalid, dark and dusty boiler room as well as every dangerous object it contained.  It wasn’t good wrestling, but it was a disturbing brawl that felt like two transients assaulting one another in a battle to the death.  It’s still disturbing if you watch it now, removing the storyline and just letting the on-camera action take you away.  At its best, this is what the HOH match did for me, and even on rewatch, it still has an undeniable power that could very well appeal to me alone.
So maybe this all has nothing to do with wrestling, or at the least, very little, but it was one of my favorite parts of the show, hands-down.  And yes, I do realize that I could very well be the only person on Earth praising this match.  I can live with that.  It was WrestleCrap, for sure, but of the most entertaining variety, the sort that steps beyond wrestling itself into a bizarre world of its own.  Either way, that’s enough over-analysis for today.

The Real World (Of Wrestling)

As I mentioned earlier, nearly every match was above average, and a few were pretty good.  None were flat-out great however, and one of the biggest issues, one that’s been far too prevalent as of late, was the finishes in several of the bouts.  So, instead of a breakdown of every match’s action, let’s focus on the finishes and see how those played out in terms of overall effectiveness.
    First up was Jericho vs. Owens in a very good, very physical blow-off match.  Well, it was supposed to be the blow-off.  Jericho is touring with his band, Fozzy, starting this week, so it seemed a lock for KO to retain and end their feud.  And it looked to be the case, with a repeat of the finger-on-the-ropes spot from WM 34.  That is, until Jericho started to target his hand and fingers, crushing them between the ring and steel steps.  Owens tapped to the Walls of Jericho when his finger was too weak to catch the rope.  This one took me by surprise, even with the last-minute rumors that Jericho would win back the United States title.  Regardless of my disappointment, the match was very engaging, and by the crowd’s massive response, having Jericho get one more major win in before his hiatus was the right call.  And Owens won back the title on Tuesday night’s SmackDown, settling matters once and for all.
    Neville vs. Austin Aries, in a rematch for the CruiserWeight championship had what was likely the most controversial finish of the evening.  Their WM 34 match was fantastic but didn’t deserve the pre-show treatment.  Given time on the main card, the two proved that they could absolutely deliver and engage the crowd, and in my opinion, Austin Aries was the MVP of the night for his fantastic ring work at Payback.  They were given the right amount of time to work, and every move looked crisp and believable, with Aries maintaining the upper hand for most of the match.  The problematic finish came with Aries locking in the Last Chancery, and Neville, desperate to retain his title, pulling the ref’s shirt.  So it all ended with a very anticlimactic, inconclusive disqualification finish.  People were pissed, but I was actually fine with this one, mainly because it should lead to another fantastic rematch, and as good as Aries was, it still isn’t time to strip Neville of the championship.

In terms of solid matches, The Hardys vs. Sheamus & Cesaro was a very good, very stiff tag team match with few surprises.  At least regarding the finish.  Both teams looked good and had chemistry in the ring, and both S&C’s beat down and the Hardys’ eventual comeback were exciting.  During the course of the match, Jeff actually lost a tooth, and Matt was busted open over his eye, which started noticeably swelling.  Of course, Matt and Jeff scored the win to huge applause, and the European odd couple shook their hands mid-ring.  This was followed by another savage attack on the Hardys, a heel turn for Cesaro that was rumored in the days leading up to the PPV.  Hopefully this new ruthless streak works as well for the Swiss performer as Neville’s own heel work has for him.  Regardless, one of the better RAW tag title matches in some time.
Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley delivered on its promise of a very solid match, which was given just enough time to stretch out and go somewhere.  I had no issue with the finish again, especially since Alexa captured the RAW Women’s Championship, making her the only person to have held both brand’s titles.  She deserves the position at the top of the card, and is one of the best heels on either brand at the moment.  The unpopular aspect of the finish came with Bayley losing in her hometown of San Jose, much like Sasha Banks losing to Charlotte at Hell in a Cell last year.  It was controversial and unpopular, sure, but not unprecedented, and gives Bayley something to motivate her even harder in the coming weeks.
Following the House of Horrors was Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe, in what looked to be a fantastic grudge match given the very personal nature of their story.  While their match at Payback was indeed solid, it fell short of my expectations, and there was yet another unsatisfactory finish hurting things even further.  Both are world-class wrestlers, and Joe looked incredible in the ring as always, moving like someone half his size and age.  Rollins managed to get a surprise win by reversing Joe’s Coqina Clutch into a sudden pinfall, which was certainly problematic.  Joe is still fresh on the main roster and needs to look like a crushing, dominant heel.  He was presented successfully up until this point, and frankly, Rollins’ babyface act is floundering.  Joe should have won and destroyed Seth, establishing himself as one of RAW’s top heels.  Hopefully this loss settles their issues and each man can move on.
I have very little to say on the finish to the in-ring portion of the House of Horrors match.  Randy Orton looked to have it won when the Singh Brothers and Jinder Mahal ran in and beat him down.  After a fantastic-looking powerslam from Jinder took Orton out, Bray scored the win.  It was good to see that and all, but they really phoned that one in.  At least Bray can move on now.
Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns put on a very respectable match that exceeded expectations.  Both are relatively limited in-ring, but they do have some chemistry together.  Best part of the match was how Roman got thrown around, looking far more like an underdog than the top dog.  Braun winning was expected, and the right call, and the post-match assault which left Reigns (falsely) bloodied was a good way to build his eventual triumph.  Not bad at all, although the fan reaction after the match really irritated me.  Chants of “Thank you, Strowman!” were almost deafening.  I’ve made my feelings clear on Reigns plenty of times here, and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve that.  From a purely storyline standpoint, the crowd was cheering a man who beat Roman down after destroying him during the match.  A man who smashed the already-injured Reigns with the ring steps to the point that he was coughing up blood.  Again, that was all merely for the sake of the storyline, but you really get the sense that some of the more malicious basement-dwelling fans wouldn’t mind seeing that for real.  It was kind of disturbing, like wondering what would happen when ECW’s bloodshed wouldn’t be enough for crowds.
Then again, this is coming from the guy who praised a wildly unpopular match for capturing the atmosphere of a fight to the death within a lookalike drug den.  Wrestling is weird like that.

Overall

This was a really good show, very consistent and entertaining, especially from my own particular viewpoint.  As I see it, none of the matches were bad, and several exceeded all expectations.  Even with WWE continuing to screw up the finishes of major matches, they can’t take away the very compelling first portions of those contests.  The talent on the roster is undeniable, and the storylines have been very compelling for the most part.  On a whole, Payback was a very solid show, one of the company’s best of the year thus far.
    I just want to fit in one more thing here regarding Kevin Owens’ position in the company.  Last week there was news that Vince McMahon is fed up with Owens’ physique and wants him to wrestle in a full dress suit.  This sounds more than a bit absurd, and looked to (hopefully) be false as Owens came out in his usual ring attire, albeit with longer gym shorts.  Ditto for SmackDown the following Tuesday.  Regardless, Vince’s prejudice towards the out-of-shape is well-documented, and I wouldn’t doubt that the rumored sentiments are true.  I realize that wrestling is a very different world than any other, but this would certainly constitute harassment, if not discrimination in any other profession.  Not to mention that Kevin Owens is an incredible all-around performer who can do more incredible things in the ring than Vince McMahon ever could in his days wrestling.  Which, of course, came in his fifties.  So that’s just one thing that got on my nerves this week.

Big Vin Vader covers wrestling for Pencilstorm. follow @bigvinvader

Season Two TV Party Tonight! Virtual SXSW 2017 - by Anne Marie

I’ve been on a ticket-buying binge lately. Many of the shows I have lined up the next few months - Tom Petty, Hall & Oates, Guster and Elvis Costello - are known commodities I have followed for decades. For some, I own every album. (I even named one of my dogs after one.)  

But as much as I love some summer retro fun, I also love that moment of “discovering” a new act live.  I don’t get to do that all too often from Columbus.  (Although I did first see Walk the Moon and Fitz & The Tantrums as openers for other acts I saw at the Newport.  Subsequently, they've both had national radio play and I’m seeing Fitz headline at Riverbend this summer: so it does happen.).  But where I understand it happens at an insane level and where the entire festival is set up to allow you to dabble and catch as many new acts as you can pack into each day & night is the South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin, Texas.

I’ve never been to SXSW.  Yeah, I know it’s been going on for like 25 years but back when it started, at first it was too small for me to even hear about in Ohio and by the time it became a “thing,” I bought into all the stories about it being a big frenzy of corporate branding, selling out, traffic and overcrowding.  Lately, I’ve heard really good music coming out of it and now I really want to go but the best I’ve been able to do so far is live vicariously through some of the coverage.  This year SXSW was March 10-19th, which overlapped my daughter’s Spring Break and gave me some hours to do some online exploration of the giant list of the more than 2,000 participating artists. 

I was just randomly cruising through the A-Z artist listings and selecting acts to listen to on Youtube, when I noticed that Overcoats had a link to a song “Hold Me Close” right on the SXSW website.  I clicked and that was it.  I listened and re-listened.  I wanted more and went to Youtube and found the story of two college friends from New York who, after five years of friendship, discovered last year that they could write and make music together. Here’s “The Fog” and “Smaller Than My Mother.”  I love their amazing harmonies and the little dance parties in the middle of the songs.  So, of course, if I was at TV Party Tonight! Virtual SXSW, I would definitely go catch Overcoats.

OVERCOATS performs the song "THE FOG" for BalconyTV. Subscribe to us right now at http://bit.ly/15yj4oc 'Like' us on Facebook - http://Facebook.com/balconytv Follow us on Twitter - http://Twitter.com/balconytv PRESENTED BY NINA CREESE Overcoats is New York-based female duo Hana Elion and JJ Mitchell.

In Studio Live is an exclusive series featuring musical artists who bring a distinct presence to the world of art and entertainment. Each episode is recorded at Beyond Studios and produced by Beyond Production House with support from Chuck Levin's, Washington Music Center - chucklevins.com. More episodes at www.instudio.live

I would also catch the New Pornographers to hear new stuff from their seventh album, Whiteout Conditions, including the completely catchy title track “High Ticket Attractions” and the incomparable Neko Case (who I’ve seen solo at Nelsonville) singling lead on "Play Money".  New Pornographers never fail to deliver songs with a satisfying hook that I instantly love.

Pre-order the new album 'Whiteout Conditions' & receive both "This Is The World Of The Theater" & "High Ticket Attractions" instantly.

The New Pornographers perform songs from their latest LP, Whiteout Conditions. SUBSCRIBE for new CBC MUSIC videos: http://bit.ly/cbcmusicYT Check out CBC Music: http://www.cbcmusic.ca Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CBCMusic Twitter: https://twitter.com/cbcmusic

Next up is Real Estate.  I’d catch this act in the afternoon performing poolside and just chill for a while to  “Darling” and “Stained Glass” from 2017’s In Mind.

"Darling" from Real Estate's album, In Mind, out now on Domino.

To rev up back up for a full night of acts, I’d head to see Minneapolis band The 4onthefloor rock their way in 4/4 time (while each play a bass drum) through “Lionhearted,” “Workin’ Man Zombie” and “Fancy.”

This is the music video for the song "Lionhearted" by the 4onthefloor.

This a video for the song Workin' Man Zombie (WMZ) from the album 4x4 from the Minneapolis band, the 4onthefloor ( http://www.4otf.com ) . The song can be purchased on iTunes, Amazon, or on their EP 4 songs at a show near you.

Provided to YouTube by TuneCore Fancy · The 4onthefloor All In ℗ 2015 Double Asterisk Group Released on: 2015-05-26 Auto-generated by YouTube.

Even though I have tickets to see them at the Newport in May, I’d have to catch Austin’s own Spoon for the release of their latest album, Hot Thoughts.

Setlist sans question marks as Britt intended (seriously, the dude hates question marks).


Then off to see indie rocker Hello Nico from Taiwan who is so good it does not matter that I don’t understand a single word.

〈面向自己 (feat.

〈看不見?〉(the melting sweet land) 導演:陳奕亘 製片:劉玠佑 製片助理:小易 攝影:龐龐 攝助:Jungle 造型妝髮:邱紫瑄 演員:黃浩銘/彭毓 剪接/TC:陳奕亘 監製:奧利佛 作曲:詹宇庭/李詠恩 作詞:詹宇庭 編曲:Hello Nico 製作人:Hello Nico 錄音工程師:黃文萱/李詠恩/單為明 錄音助理:蔡周翰 錄音室:荒原錄音室/Lights Up Studio 混音工程師:黃文萱@Wooji Studio 母帶後期工程師:Metropolis Mastering 活動聯絡:bmmptw@gmail.com 官方網站:https://www.facebook.com/HelloNico.tw 歌詞: 這裡破了一個無底的洞 就著你身邊依然陷落 你還是看不見嗎? 是否輕浮減輕了沈重 面對以後的 太遙遠太不切實際了 還輪不到我 然後又繼續低著頭 面對生命無常的 平平安安或是淪落 沒有差別了 每個都守住自己的窩 堆積什麼我有你沒有 你還是不明白嗎?

And, just for kicks and out of pure curiosity, I’d have to check out at least one of the international sensations like Red Velvet, here performing their chart-topping single “Russian Roulette.”

South Korean act Red Velvet performs their chart-topping single "Russian Roulette" at the K-Pop Night Out showcase at SXSW 2017. This 360 video was created with our production partner 900lbs of Creative. YouTube is 900lbsofcreative.

 

Now it’s the early morning hours of my virtual SXSW experience. NPR’s All Songs Considered team always asks selected artists to close out the night in a quiet space with a “South X Lullaby.”

Last year, my favorite South X Lullaby was 16 year-old Deckan McKenna’s Brazil.  One year later, it’s like this song has been around forever, but I had never heard it then and it betwitched me and I could not stop playing it over and over and over….  Not only did I love the song, but I loved the kid, from his first “Cool” to his last “Was it good…Is that a wrap or…?”  

Click NPR All Songs Considered "South X Lullaby"

To close out this TV Party Tonight! Virtual SXSW, I’d have to choose a South X Lullaby 2017: but I’m torn between the densely beautiful lyrics of Phoebe Bridgers’ “Smoke Signals” and the bizarre but completely mesmerizing “Deep Six Textbook” by Let’s Eat Grandma.  Maybe you have a different favorite because all nine lullabies are included.

Click here to check it out.    

 

Anne Marie hopes to attend SXSW one day. Until then it will be a yearly TV Party event. 

Getting Crafty on Pencilstorm - by JCE

I am not really a crafty person (but I do like craft beers, if that counts). I’m not an artist by any means.  Even if I was, I have a high stress job, a beautiful family and I love rock n roll, sports, skateboards, and - did I mention - beer?  Who has time for arts & crafts?  Apparently, I do.
One day while delivering my trash to our local solid waste transfer station, otherwise known as the dump, I hurled a bag into the dumpster and noticed two well-used but perfectly good skateboards amongst all that trash.  I pulled them out and tossed in them in my Jeep for no particular reason, other than I like skateboards.  A few months later I ended up making some shelves out of them for a room in my basement where I keep my collection of about 100 vintage skateboards. I mentioned this skateboard shelf project to the guy that operates the solid waste transfer station and he agreed to ask his staff to start saving all of the discarded skateboards that end up there.  So now, I had achieved a supply line of skateboards to recycle.  I came up with the idea of combining two things I love - skateboards and beer - in order to start making….Birdhouses.  Yep, you read that right.  I’m making birdhouses out of old skateboards and craft beer bottle caps.  The supply line of skateboards is hit  miss, but the beer caps I have completely covered, no problem.  I build these in my basement with music blasting, so I’m really working with three things I love.

I built the first one in a pretty plain style, I left it really rustic with the old skateboard graphics and then shingled the roof with beer caps.  It turned out like this:
 

THE ORIGINAL

The second one was supposed to look less like a house and more like a shed.  During the construction process I took a beer break and discovered a brand new, fully-sealed beer bottle in my six pack that was totally empty!  It was a terrible tragedy, but I took it as a sign and decided to incorporate it into my birdhouse as a smokestack.  The front entrance got some spray paint as well.  Here’s birdhouse number two:
 

THE SMOKESTACK


My third birdhouse was inspired by the idea of a beach shack, or a tiki hut.  It turned out like this:

THE BEACH SHACK
  

Given that I now had three different models, I built two more as gifts, one as a Christmas present for my father-in-law (the man has everything, but he didn’t have a handmade recycled skateboard-beer cap birdhouse!) and another one as a birthday present for my brother-in-law’s girlfriend.  I’m thinking these are getting a little better as I go…  and there’s more and more spray paint involved.

FATHER-IN-LAW CHRISTMAS

BIRTHDAY PRESENT

So at this point, I think I’m developing a hobby.  I don’t think I’m doing too badly for a guy who has a 1970’s era jigsaw, some sand paper, a rechargeable drill, a hammer, a screwdriver and not much else to work with.  I don’t have a table saw or anything to cut any fancy angles.  The latest effort was made especially for my daughter at her request.  She’s a rocker, so I tried to give it some heavy metal flare with a flaming roof design.  It looks like this:

HEAVY METAL

Thanks for reading my Arts and Crafts Edition of Pencilstorm.  If you like these things, let me know, but don’t ask me for one, because it takes me so long just to pound out one of these, I’d have to charge at least $100 each just to earn a few bucks an hour.  -  JCE
 

Ben Galli Answers Yours (and ours) 2nd Round NBA Questions

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The first round is officially over and it’s starting to get serious.  With some teams’ seasons over and some teams’ championship aspirations just starting (so you’re saying there’s a chance!), there’s a lot of questions to ask and I’m here to try and answer them.  These are some real questions from some real people with some real concerns.

1. Russell Westbrook and his triple double stats seem to be a lock for the MVP. However a quick comparison of the first round of NBA playoffs is rather disturbing for fans of Russ and his gaudy numbers.

First round: LeBron was 50-92 from the floor. Russell was 59-152. It took him 60 extra shots to make 9 more buckets. It's even worse from beyond the arc where Westbrook needed 29 extra shots to get just 4 more triples than LeBron.

So my question is:
Does Russell Westbrook suck?
Should OKC be excited or terrified if Westbrook wants to sign a long term extension?
Would any top player want to be teamed with Westbrook?

- Colin G. (no relation to Ali G.)

Russell Westbrook does not suck.  For one, that's a comparison to the best player in the world who has a lot more help and two, who doesn't have to take very difficult shots (or a lot of them) to give his team a chance.  OKC should be super excited that they were able to extend Russ in the first place and should be so happy if he signs a longer term deal that they should look in the mirror and ask themselves if they really deserve it.  

There’s no indication that Russell’s not a team guy so I don’t think other stars will have a problem but there is the question of fit on the team.  Russell is going to control the ball.  If a star/superstar feels they need the ball in their hands to truly play their game, then playing with Westbrook will probably be a negative.  

2. Any hope the Cavs can play good enough defense going forward? It's been pretty ragged.
Don't those dopey OKC fans just want someone like Westbrook that they can see on Sportscenter?
Would the Sonics have won their second NBA title by now had those thieves not stolen my team and taken it to the middle of a God damned oil field?
When David Stern dies will he go to hell?

- Brian P. (allegedly no relation to Master P.)

I'm taking a wait and see approach on the Cavs improving their defense.  Facing the Raptors will be a nice test for that aspect of the Cavs that's been their biggest question mark going into the season. These teams know each other and we'll get a better idea of the Cavs chances during this series.

I think the Sonics would have a better ownership group (well, maybe not the one that sold the team from out under the fans and the city) which would have led to putting a bigger priority on winning chips as opposed to making money (hello Clay Bennett).  They would have done what they needed to do to re-sign James Harden.  Harden wouldn’t blossom into a top 5 player like he has now on his own team, but he would be the number 3 (arguably number 2) on one of the all time big 3’s in NBA history.  After David Stern super unfairly nixed the Chris Paul to the Lakers trade, I would simply wish him well wherever he ends up in the afterlife and just sip my cup of tea.

3. Are Cp3 , Deangelo, P. George, Ingram and t.moz good enough to bring a title back to the purple and gold?
Are the thunder a top 3 seed with Blake Griffin?
You get one of these 2 players moving forward: Devin Booker or Lonzo Ball, who's it gonna be?

- Big $, (larger cousin to small money)

To respond to the first 2, the West is loaded. In that Lakers lineup (which is very possible by the way), there are 2 superstars and 2 guys that have disappointed a little but still have very high ceilings.  If Russell and Ingram develop to 75% of their potential, these Lakers are going to be nasty.  But they won’t be nasty next season. It’s going to take a couple years with this lineup to really contend for a title.

It’ll matchup nicely with the Warriors not being able to afford their big 4 and LeBron getting older (possibly).  I don’t know about that guy, Poncé de LeBron.  Blake by himself doesn’t make the Thunder a top 3 seed but if they upgrade Roberson and either do the same with Oladipo or he takes the next step, then I can see it.  They'd be right up there right away though.

To answer the 3rd query, no one likes Lavar Ball and he’s hurting his son’s chances of a nice endorsement deal.  But Lonzo’s talent will overcome the sins of the father and he will be highly drafted.  And Devin Booker is quickly becoming one of the best scorers in the NBA and he’s only like 20.  But in the NBA nowadays, the faithful are flocking to the Point God and because of Lonzo’s very high ceiling in that area, I’d take him over Booker.  Is it greater to be able to create one’s own shot or create shots for others?

4. James Harden - basketball genius or a cheating punk that would get beat down if he tried all that drawing a foul crap in a pick-up game?

- James B. (no relation to Lil B who has placed a curse on Harden)

I prefer the term savant for Harden.  A basketball genius wouldn’t completely avoid the 2nd most important aspect of the game.  But Harden’s a savant because he has not really developed his defense but man, oh man has he developed everything in his offensive repertoire.  His shooting, ball handling, ball fakes, and passing are top notch as is his ability to draw a foul.  

And yes, he would be the most annoying player ever to play a pick up game with.  He’d hold on to the ball forever, making 15-20 head fakes and then shoot up a shot while flopping midway through and calling foul, whether touched or not.  Those guys are douches.  I played with one in junior high.  One day he wore a shirt with the confederate flag on it that said “You wear your X, I’ll wear mine.”  Nuff said.

5. Who’s most relieved Dion is not in the playoffs?

- Mike Y. (perhaps as a proxy for Dion W.)

I’m going to say the 2 most recent teams he’s been on since he got to the Heat.  That would be the Cavs and the Thunder.  Probably the Thunder more so because they did not re-sign him and the lack of scoring talent around Russ is glaring.  I put the Cavs here because I can see Dion really getting up for games against them and tipping the scales in a game or two in his team’s favor (although it’s just as likely to be the other way around).

6. What are the chances Blake Griffin ends up in OKC next year?
Where does Carmelo end up next year?
If the Cavs don’t win the finals, who do you see them trying to add?

- Kovic M. (because everyone has Russian connections)

I don’t think there’s a very good chance Griffin ends up in OKC next year.  All indications are that he likes the big city limelight and the draw of home doesn’t draw him.  OKC would also have to work wonders to get the necessary cap space. I think the Lakers, Knicks, and Heat will be bandied about as possible destinations but this early into it, I feel he will re-sign with the Clips because he likes L.A.

At this point, most of us would be shocked if Melo stayed in Phil Jackson’s doghouse.  The Lakers per usual will be brought up but I think their new front office will stay away from this aging superstar.  I see a battle between Miami, Chicago, and the L.A. Clippers for Melo’s still considerable services.

As far who the Cavs will add, it will be another round of: Who wants to chase a ring with LeBron?  The Cavs will want to get younger and more defensive while still retaining shooters.  Here’s a list of the impending free agents for this summer.  (look at that top 3!).  I can see the Cavs having an interest in some lower-tier vets like Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Mason Plumlee, or James Johnson. If these players take pay cuts, I can see the Cavs going after Danilo Galinari and Wade or Vince Carter trying out a year here.  

And some final thoughts on the Conference Semi-Finals and the 1st Round:

I had Cavs over Pacers in 5 and they did better than that although too many of the games came down to the final seconds.  I hit on my Raptors over Bucks in 6 prediction but I hope you're as excited as I am for the Bucks next season.

I'd picked the Celtics to sweep the Bulls but you never know what Bulls team you're gonna get and they extended Boston to 6 after winning the first 2.  In my defense, Boston swept after that.  I picked Wizards in 5 but it was Wizards in 6 because you can never trust Atlanta.

Over in the best conference, I got 3 of the 4 series right.  I'd picked Clippers in 6 but Utah bebop skedaddled to a win in Game 7, granted Blake Griffin missed most of the series with an injured toe.  I'd picked the Warriors and Spurs in 5 but Golden State swept impressively while the Grizz grinded to 6 games before falling.  They weren't gonna get rooked. And in the most anticipated 1st round matchup, I'd picked Houston in 6 but they usually dominated and won in 5.

Raptors-Cavs:  I still don't think Cleveland is going to struggle much here and I see them winning in 5 or 6.  It went 6 last year in the Conference Finals but I'll say Cavs in 5 this time around.

Wizards-Celts:  In my preview, I said Washington would upset Boston in this round.  Boston had an impressive come from behind victory on Sunday to take game 1 of this series and the Wizards depth weaknesses were exploited especially after Markieff Morris went down.  I will say Wizards in 7 in what should be a very intense, back and forth series.

Warriors-Jazz - This Jazz team is well coached and on the up and up but they're not on G.S' level.  Warriors in 5.

Spurs-Rockets - This should be a fun series and Houston has a decent shot to upset.  But I pick Spurs in 6.

These playoffs have almost been overshadowed by the incredible post game pressers and this is the best one in years.  Because it worked! Coach David Fizdale of the Memphis Grizzlies: